Dining out tip:

There is no need to tell me who you are when calling for a reservation.

Whether in person, or in a message there is no need to say the following things:

1. Hi. This is Tim Jones. I’m a local.

2. Hi. This Sally Smith and I’m your neighbor from across the street.

3. Hi. This is Ethan Roberts and I own the local real estate office.

4. Hi. This is Jason Johnson and I was in on Saturday with 12 of my friends. We had a great time and spent tons on money. Can you help me out?

5. Hi. This is Laura Henderson and I am a friend of the owners. He said to call and you’d make me a reservation.

6. Hi. This is Bill Morgan and I own Costco and I need the best table for my family.

7. Hi. This is Kathy Booth and it’s my family’s last day in town and we must must must eat at your restaurant tonight.

8. Hi. This is Steven Lucas and it’s my 24th wedding anniversary and we can only eat at your restaurant to celebrate.

9. Hi. This Julia Jackson and I’m a local. Well, I own a home there and spend two months each year at the beach. I know the Johnsons , the Smiths, the Joneses, the McDonalds, and they all insist this is the restaurant I must eat at this weekend.

10. Hi. This is John. I’m a friend of the owner Taylor. We live next door to her. (Taylor, the owner is a man).

Here’s the deal. I want to say yes to everyone. It’s best for the business, the owner, me and you if the chairs are filled for dinner. So you letting me know who you are doesn’t change anything. If I have a seat to put you in, I’ll say yes.

Pushing the idea that because you are local will get you special treatment is far from true.

First, the real locals already know how to get a reservation. I gave them my personal cell number three weeks ago.

The real locals also never say they are locals because we know them.

It’s the summer crew who are in town at their summer home for six weeks that say this. They aren’t locals. To be a real local your great, great, great, great, great, great grandparents sailed here on the Mayflower and settled in town in 1692.

So when you call say, Hi, I was curious if you had any available reservations for Wednesday night, around 7:00. That’s all. If there is availability I will let you know. If I say no, ask about other times. Other days.

If I say yes, give me your information.

Also, if I say no, don’t demand I find a place for you.

The main dining room in my restaurant has 59 seats. I can’t magically produce a four top because you are desperate. Or own the local real estate office. Or because it’s your anniversary. Or because you insist. We are full. That’s that. I do have two seats at the bar. Will that work?

When the conversation is over. Say thank you, whether you got seats or not.

And remember, being nice goes so much further than anything else. Not that it will magically produce a table, but I will look harder, move things around, offer a table on a different day etc. I want to help you celebrate your anniversary.

PS. If there is silence when you ask the question it’s because the person who answered the phone is looking for a solution. Give them a minute. They might have something after all.