Today was about the telephone.

I got to work and there were 37 messages on line 1.

PS. We use an old school phone with a digital answering machine attached.

There were five messages on line 2.

I start my day by making coffee. There is no way to hit play till my cup is filled. While the coffee is brewing I count the deposits from the day before. Make sure I haven’t missed an important email. Pour coffee into my Hershey mug that the size of a soup bowl.

I turn the page on my notebook.

I hit play.

I write down the messages as they play. Name and number from caller ID. Short hand for why they are calling.

John Smith. 207 555 6302.

2 pp @ 6pm on 9/15.

Outside only.

Sam Jones 603 555 4532

8—-6 Saturday @ 7:30. (Moving from 8 to 6 people)

It goes on. And on. And on.

The first messages are from the previous evening. Starting around 4:30 until around 9:30.

I’m about six messages in when there is a call from Joe, who says I’ve already called once tonight, (it’s true I’ve got his messages written down) and it would be great if someone could call me back on the day I call.

Hmmm.

The very next message is from Kate who says she’s called multiple times and no one ever calls her back.

It’s true she called around 5:15. It’s now 7:30.

Hmmmm

I finish taking down the messages.

Then I refill my cup.

And I start calling people back. I’m annoyed because I’ve been accused of not calling people back. I literally spend three hours of my day on the phone. I have every message saved in my notebook. Kate has never left a message before. I’ve gone back and checked.

I get to Joe on the list and I take a deep breath. He was annoyed on the machine. Who knows how he will be on the phone.

I dial.

He answers.

And he’s the sweetest person I’ve talked to all day.

It’s easy to be nice to him. I make his reservation and we are good. I end by assuring him if he leaves a message I will always call back at least by the next day.

I call Kate next. She’s less sweet. I breathe and kill her with kindness. She too is in my hand when I hang up, her reservation having been made.

I finish my list.

There are now 8 more messages to respond to.

This continues till I move from my office to the host stand because I have a meeting with a friend who’s come to give me some advice on events. It’s now 4:06.

The shift starts, and around 6:00 there are two groups waiting to be seated when several people walk in. I assess that it’s three two tops all wanting to sit at the bar. None of them with reservations.

I greet the first party. The woman comes in strong. She lets me know she’s called twice today and no one has answered. I ask her if she left a message and initially she says yes. I ask what time snd she says around 3:30. I explain that that’s impossible because I checked the messages and returned them all.

She back peddles.

Okay she didn’t leave a message. Because the message picks up and no one ever calls her back anyway.

I push back about being here for three months and I’ve called everyone back.

She then says she did leave a message.

I ask what time. She can’t decide.

Then her husband gets involved, voiced raised, about the whole system sucking.

I should point out at this point, while we are conversing I’m still trying to find everyone a spot. It’s not like I’m just being difficult.

I start to say that if they give me just a second I can get them seated, when the husband explodes. Yelling at me about how they are locals, and can never come back.

I ask why they can never come back and he says because we never fucking answer our phone.

The wife looks at me and says “… you were about to say something…”.

I shrug because the husband is gone. Flipping me off as he leaves.

She leaves and I promptly pick up menus snd seat both of the other parties waiting for the bar. It was really just a matter of giving me two seconds to move things around to find them a spot.

I could have sat them all if they had been less aggressive and a little more patient.

Seriously. When you approach the host stand if they don’t say no immediately there is a good chance they have a solution. Give them a chance to help you.

Also, leave a fucking message. No one can help you if you don’t give them a chance.