We got a horrible review yesterday from a guest who dined with us on Sunday night.

The review:

When making the reservation was not told it was outdoors…when we arrived, there were no heaters and we were not dressed for cold weather outside. They then told us no indoor tables, but we could sit at the bar…then told rudely where we could not sit and finally they sat us at the end of the bar next to the bathroom…all this after driving 45 minutes to get there…

So.

The real story.

No.

They weren’t verbally told they were outdoors. They made the reservation themselves. Online.

When you select the patio it says outside.

Just before you confirm the reservation there is a message that you are making an outside reservation.

I don’t know how to better let people know they are booking outside.

As for what happened after they arrived.

They were greeted. Were told that their reservation was outside and explained where to go to be seated.

The insist they didn’t reserve outside but as we’ve learned the computer doesn’t lie.

They ask to move inside. We are very busy it’s a holiday weekend.

I let them know that the only seats I have are at the bar. They accept.

I take them to the their seats. Seats 1 and 2 and yes they are next to the men’s room door.

They ask the bartender if they can move to the end of the bar where there a two separate groups of two chairs. I let him know that they can’t because we have reservations for those chairs.

We have lots and lots and lots of people who have standing reservations at the bar. The two two-tops at the bar were reserved for these customers. People who made their reservations weeks ago, requesting the specific chairs we are holding for them.

I really would have liked to seat them elsewhere. But it really was the only option, if they didn’t want to wait.

I also realize that they didn’t get to sit where they wanted but the atmosphere of the space is amazing, your food was amazing, the bartender was amazing. And yet you rated us at 50% or lower for everything.

And.

At least we didn’t turn you away. There were times this summer when I had to tell people eat outside/inside as directed by your reservation or I can’t help you.

It is discouraging when people become angry at us for a mistake that they made. I get it. Mistakes happen. But work with us. If you’d been willing to wait you could have sat at a table. But that wasn’t an option.

That’s all.

Hi.

Can we talk for a bit about Woman Spreading?

We all know what man spreading is. But no one talks about woman spreading.

What is woman spreading, you ask?

It’s when a woman gets seated at the bar and takes up 16 square feet of space. The purse on the chair next to her. The coat on the hook under the chair next to her. Her wine glass, water glass and silverware pushed down the bar. The apps she hasn’t finished on the other side. Her napkin is on the floor. And she is so engrossed in conversation with her friend you have to nudge her because she doesn’t hear you say excuse me the 12 times you do.

Some do this because they aren’t paying attention. I think most do it because they hope to keep anyone from sitting next to them.

We have 23 seats at our horse shoe bar. As I mentioned earlier in the week, the restaurant started taking reservations for the bar during COVID. Of course back then half the seats were missing. People were spread out.

In May/June when restrictions were lifted, the chairs came back, and we started taking reservations for all 23 seats. The regulars love it, because they can guarantee a seat when they want it. And probably 50% of our bar guests are regulars. Another 25% of them have standing reservations. One couple has eaten at our bar over a 150 times since we started using our current reservation system. One couple has a standing Saturday night 8:00 reservation. Someone reading this tomorrow made four Sunday night reservations for the next four weeks tonight.

The people who don’t like that we take reservations are the folks who haven’t been taught how to guarantee themselves a spot. As soon as it’s explained they change their tune.

So.

We take reservations

It’s a little quieter now.

But a month ago it was quite different. 23 seats. 50+ reservations. Elbow to elbow. Constantly turning. Each reservation taken and placed as strategically as the tables in the dining room. 2 here. 3 there. Another 4 here.

I’ve also taught my staff that they have to be precise when seating someone. Count the stools if you have to. But when I say seats 13/14 I mean 13/14. A misstep means I don’t have a two top 90 minutes from now. Not to mention half the reservations have specific chairs they want to sit in. The smiths 13/14. The Joneses 19/20. Ken likes 18. Greg likes 1,2,3,4.

Woman spreading.

23 seats.

When I approach the bar with guests I have to put them next to you. Even though there are chairs open. Because in 30 minutes all the chairs will be full.

So, spreading out will not keep me from seating someone next to. It just means that I have to have an awkward conversation first. I’ll push your wine next to you, ask you to move your purse, then introduce you to your neighbors.

So restrain yourself when seated at the bar.

PS. Men are worse than women and yet they have less stuff to spread with. Sometimes I think it’s the urinal complex. They are terrified another man might sit next to them and make them seem inferior.

Yesterday I posted a Yelp review that mentioned me by name.

A relative suggested that I probably was rude in my approach. More aggressive than I needed to be. And ultimately the guest’s response was justified.

Hmmm.

I want to address what it’s like to work in the public in the time of COVID.

Yes.

It’s possible I was a little more aggressive than I needed to be.

That’s definitely possible.

But I’ll start by saying that managing in the days of COVID, strike that, working any service job, in the time of COVID is unlike anything in the past.

Everyday, millions of people just like me, open the doors to their restaurants, retail outlets, airlines, hospitals, hoping against hope that today will not be the day they get mentioned on the NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt.

Working in the public has always been hard. And I’ve seen lots of things in my 40+ years of doing it. A manager who was hit in the head with a ketchup bottle for telling a woman to stop beating her child. An employee of color who was fired and arrested when she slapped a guest who told her she belonged in the kitchen with the rest of the n_gg__s. A 19 year old server bawling in the kitchen because a man had decided it was okay to run his hand up her backside. A server crying because a man asked her if her parents were proud of her just being a server. A guest who said he wasn’t tipping the valets because their not being in chains was tip enough.

Yes. Working in the public has always presented its challenges.

Since COVID, the era of our last administration, and the bigger division of the right and left the whole saga has gotten worse.

Not only have the guests gotten more entitled, they have become more aggressive. More angry. More vicious. More unrelenting.

There’s a reason these stories make the news. Servers getting punched. Spit on. Even shot in a couple of cases.

I’m not exaggerating my stories.

So let me tell you what I’ve learned in my 40 years of restaurant work and almost ten years of management.

You can never show fear. You can never let them see you be intimidated. You have to have a wide stance, and unwavering voice, and an air of authority.

It also helps to be 6’0” 250+ pounds and definitely a man. Being white doesn’t hurt either.

Why do I say this?

Because for ten years as a GM, guests have been insanely angry at an 18 year old female host, but their tune changes when I walk up behind the employee and say how can I help you?

Never have I been asked to get the real manager when I’ve spoken to someone. My female friends get asked all the time for them to get the person in charge. Even though they are the GM. All I ever get is what is your name and who owns the restaurant?

For the past two summers I’ve been beaten up daily for just enforcing the rules. Yes, you have to wear a mask. No you can’t stand there. Yes you must remain seated.

Everything changed last year. Restaurants pivoted. Then pivoted again. Then pivoted again, just to survive. For those on the front lines, some things changed daily. Yes we do take out. No we don’t do take out. Yes you can sit at the bar. No you can’t. This table is off limits. Now it’s not.

I get that they public is confused. But it’s been 20 months. Seriously. Stop acting shocked.

Add to that the constant state of being short staffed and it just gets worse .

Last summer I worked 5+ weeks of 70+ hours. This year since the end of April I’ve worked more than 60 hours a week. I have worked six days work weeks since the end of June.

I’m fucking tired.

So yes.

It’s possible I was not as sweet, and lovely, and full of rainbows as I could have been.

I go to work expecting the worst. Because you can only get punched so many times before you square off to avoid the punch.

However.

And I repeat.

However.

I’m very good at my job. And I’m very good at turning situations around. Once this summer a bartender who had a super pissed off guest, asked me how I do it, when I visited the guest, chatted her up and turned the situation around. She was eating out of my hand when I left the bar.

I’ve also been known to apologize to a guest when I am wrong as I admitted last week right here on this site.

So yes. I might have been a bit aggressive.

But based on their response. Probably not.

Based on the review. Probably not.

They would have reacted the same no matter how I started. Except, if I’d shown weakness they’d have probably called me an asshole to my face instead of saying it the 15 year old female host standing beside me. Or to the 45 year old female server who waited on them.

If they truly had balls, they would have marched up to the owner who is cooking in our open kitchen and said something to him.

But no.

They grumbled under their breath. Complained to people who couldn’t address the situation and then took their complaint to Yelp.

You know what they also did NOT do?

They did not respond to the survey they get from their reservation. No follow up. No comments that go directly to all the management team. Nope. Not at all.

So I’ll repeat. Yes! I might have been less kind than I could have been. But I seriously I don’t think that was the case.

And please! Who announces they are never eating at a restaurant again? Before their meal. Then spends $500 dollars. If I were as pissed off as they pretended to be I’d have left and gone to one of the 50 other residents in a 20 minute drive in the area.

Nope.

Not buying it.

So my friends in the service industry:

Especially my female friends, and friends of color.

Don’t tolerate the bullshit. Wide stance. Direct eye contact. Unwavering voice.

And if that doesn’t work get yourself a boss like me. Who has no trouble supporting his staff. Has no trouble saying you have to go.

On my third or fourth week i had the host seat a table. The host came back to say the guest was unhappy. It was a walk in. Saturday night. I go to the table. The many is angry. He begins to curse. I interrupt him and explain, that he no longer had an option to sit there. He’s not sitting anywhere. He cursed. He goes. I walk him out of the restaurant. I didn’t know this till later. As I’m walking across the dining room my boss leans over to my friend Joe and says Jeff’s going to get a bad review today. Then chuckled.

He was not upset. He supported my decision to not tolerate the bullshit.

So seriously. Get yourself a manager who supports you.

Cause I’m that guy. You deserve that guy.

PS. Adults should learn that the word no is not a personal affront to your manhood. It’s okay. You’ll be fine. I promise.

Please don’t make a reservation for six people at 5:15. When you know one person won’t arrive till 6:30.

The clock starts ticking when you sit. There’s a table behind you.

PS. This is why some restaurants won’t seat you till the party is complete.

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Not all alcoholic drinks can be made virgin. A woman tonight ordered an old fashioned with no bourbon. That’s just simple syrup and bitters.

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Don’t be mad about the corkage fee. Be glad we allow it. Yes it might seem silly to charge 40 bucks to open a bottle of wine but it’s to cover the cost of the wine we aren’t selling. 40 bucks is the cost of our cheapest bottle.

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If I fired you 8 years ago. I don’t have the mental capacity to think about you when you step into the lobby of my current restaurant. PS. I don’t even care that you wrote a ridiculous email to my boss to complain about me. It just makes me laugh.

That’s all. See you tomorrow.

In case you aren’t paying attention, October 1 was yesterday.

In much of the country people are thinking about pumpkin spice, mums, jackets and leaves changing color.

In Maine, we aren’t thinking about it. It’s fucking here. Most of the plants in our yard are dying. Most of my friends here have already used their heat. For some, they won’t turn it off again until May.

It’s a long way of saying, summer is over. Fall is here. It’s cold outside.

Tonight was no exception.

We are a restaurant with a beautiful patio. A rough version was set up last year. It was pimped out this spring. Electric. A full bar. Restrooms. More tables. Fire pit. It’s truly stunning.

It’s been very popular all summer.

Some nights we seat over a 100 people out there in a shift.

It is not weather proof. It does not protect you from the elements. You will get wet if it rains. You will get cold if the temperature turns.

However, we are in Maine.

People expect this. Especially in the time of COVID. They’ll put up with anything to eat out and not sit inside.

Tonight was cold.

But we still had over 40 reservations outside to start the night.

Service begins.

Many people check in for their patio reservations and say great as they head to the patio. Some have blankets. Hats. Coats.

A few wimps come in and ask to dine inside. A four top gets seated after someone cancels. Someone else moves to the bar. Most suck it up.

And then 7:00 rolls around and the Smith party walks in. It’s an older couple. Early 60’s.

I greet them. Ask if they have a reservation.

They do. At 7:00. On the patio.

I inform them of this and say my usual speech.

You all are on the patio. I’ll mark you as arrived and if you head back out the front door and around the building they’ll be expecting you when you get to the patio.

And then it begins.

We didn’t book the patio.

Uhm. Yes you did.

No we did not.

Yes. You did.

We did not.

I spin the IPad around and show them the reservation history. When it was made. By who. The table. The time.

They insist this is not the case.

Did I mention it’s 7:00?

We are going to seat 80 people in 30 minutes.

People are backing up.

I ask them to step aside. Let me seat the people waiting and I’ll see what I can do.

This happens.

I get back to them.

I move things around.

Roll the dice.

Tell them I can offer the bar. Or a high top in the dining room.

The say neither is acceptable.

I again say. Bar. High top. Their regular table on the patio.

The gentleman says, I guess we are eating at a high top.

The other host takes them to their table.

She appears 45 seconds later, wanting to know if they can sit at table 12. It’s a great table. But it’s now 7:15. Table 12 has a reservation at 8:00. And I can’t put the Jones party who reserved 12 at the high top.

I say no. The high top is their only choice.

The evening continues.

At 7:45. Table 12 calls to say they’ll be late. No big deal. It’s the last turn.

I’m standing at the host stand at 8:10 when the Smith’s come into the lobby as they are leaving.

I ask how their meal was.

They say great.

They start to leave.

They come back.

He says: I can’t help but point out to you that we stared at the empty regular table (12) and wondered why we couldn’t sit there.

I take a breath.

It seems you didn’t seat us there to be difficult.

I take a breath.

I finally say, I’m sorry. At least it wasn’t outside.

At which point he doubles down.

I say, that table 12 is late. I had no idea you’d eat in under an hour. And let me remind you that I was able to move you inside when you reserved the patio.

He pushes back.

We did not reserve that patio.

And why are you seating out there with no heat?

I’m annoyed.

I breathe.

I say, it’s very expensive to use heaters. Plus it’s a Maine.

He kind of shouts that we should have closed the patio.

I say we’ve sat over 40 people out here tonight.

The wife gets involved.

We are not from here but this doesn’t seem right. We were in Acadia, Camden etc and everyone says they’ll be closed next week. You should close.

I say we are a year round restaurant. And remind them them that I got them a table inside.

They tell me we should close and leave.

Seriously.

I found you a table, when we had reservations rivaling August.

No appreciation. No thank you.

Just how we disappointed you.

A server appears to ask a question. She was listening to the back and forth. Just out of sight.

I ask if I was rude

She says, seriously they are from somewhere else telling you to close the restaurant because it’s cold.

She’s irate.

I’m just annoyed.

Tonight I had a woman come in and say that she had a reservation for three at the bar.

The woman she was with said she had a reservation for three on the patio.

I asked them to explain.

Seems they made two in case the weather was bad.

After my head exploded, I asked them which one they wanted to keep.

The patio.

I send them out back and go back to seating the 17 two tops we have at 5:30.

About 15 minutes later both of the ladies are standing in front of me again.

They have decided it’s too cold for the patio. Can they please move inside. Ugh.

There original spot is still available so I get them seated.

But they have annoyed me.

They kept other people from booking because it appears we have no reservation when they are holding two spots.

So please.

Choose.

Make a decision.

Stick with it.

My friends from last night left a Yelp review today.

I’ve been demoted from Maitre’d to host. My life is seriously in shambles.

That being said, I’ve never boss hogged anyone before. Curious what that entails since I’ve never heard of it before.

Enjoy!

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Had dinner reservations for my father in-laws Bday..

We have been here many times and the food has been amazing.

Unfortunately I will never go back because when we were waiting to be seated we walked up to the bar and the host Jeff aggressively came up like he was a bouncer and loudly said.

Jeff: Hey you guys you can’t just belly up to the bar and order drinks go back to the waiting area.

Allen: Why is that I’m confused who are you.

Jeff: (disregarding my questions) There are other customers that are sitting and we don’t want you standing behind them we don’t want the spread of Covid.

The guy Jeff is the host but he never told us who he was just ran up and boss hogged us back to the waiting area.

I will say there are no local or government restaurant mandated Covid restrictions and if there were we would and will follow them.

My advice is Lost Fire needs to put somebody with a softer personality in the front of the house because somebody with an aggressive personality will turn people away it sure did change my opinion.

We don’t allow people to congregate at our bar. The rule was put into place during COVID. It was there when I started. I enforce it.

For a couple of reasons.

First

When five, six, ten people get together they become loud, etc. They also they don’t spend as much money as people who come to the bar for dinner.

Second.

Our bar is often 100% reserved for dinner. Since I became GM I’m often able to turn the bar almost 3 times a night. So if someone bellies up to the bar, they are disturbing people who are spending 100’s of dollars on dinner, just so they can spend 20 on two drinks.

Tonight at 6:45 a party of 6 showed up for their 7:00 reservation.

I greeted them. Checked them in and told them we’d get them seated as soon as their table was ready.

I notice a couple of the men go into the bar but it appears they are going to the restroom. I go back to greeting people.

It’s busy.

More of the 6 tops party goes into the bar and I realize they are gathered at an open spot at the bar trying to get drinks.

I approach them and explain they can’t do this. That they’ll have to wait till they are seated.

They get angry. They want to know why.

I explain that because of COVID we only allow people to be served if they are seated. One of them says he was trying to sit there. I explain that they can’t sit there because I have reservations coming in. They are finally moving to the lobby getting angrier by the minute.

One of them begins to curse.

Not at me.

For me.

So I’ll know he’s angry.

This is fucking stupid. We are never coming back. This is ridiculous.

I go back to work.

He keeps mouthing.

COVID is over. I can’t wait till this bullshit over.

When LePage is in charge we’ll finally be able to say fuck this.

There are no restrictions about standing at a bar. This is all made up.

I seat some people.

I come back. The food runner who’s helping me says that they called me an asshole and wanted to know my name. They tell her I was rude and completely inappropriate in how I handled the situation.

I truly find it truth telling when people get angry when they are told they’ll have to wait to get a drink. I’d love to start handing out a schedule of AA meetings in town with a copy of the 12 steps.

I digress.

Their table is finally ready. I send them along with the person helping me.

The oldest of the group stays behind to chat with me.

I truly hope he curses at me. Then I can show them out.

Instead he grabs my arm which is on the host stand and explains he’s talking to me as a friend.

He IS not my friend.

And proceeds to tell me that I was rude and could have handled the situation so differently.

I don’t say a word.

Although it takes everything in me to say:

DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!

Finally he finishes and goes to his table.

I don’t see them again. They left through the back door so I never had the opportunity to say thank you. Have a good night when they left.

I can’t wait till they call to complain tomorrow. Guess who answers the phone at work? The ONLY person who answers the phone at work.

ME!!!

Tonight a regular from the restaurant I worked at earlier this year came in for dinner with his husband and two friends.

It reminded me of the second time he came to the other restaurant.

He and his partner own three small inns in the town. He was in love with the restaurant after his first visit. He would call to make reservations for his guests but could never get through. I finally gave him my cell phone number to make it easier.

Fast forward a week or so later and he and 7 friends come in for dinner.

I’m at the host stand and seat him at table 43/44.

I go back to work.

A while later my phone rings in my pocket. I pull it out and it’s this guest calling me.

For the life of me I can’t figure out what’s going on.

I answer.

He says hello, then proceeds to ask me if he might get some service.

He’s been at the table for more than 20 minutes and no one has been there yet.

I’m horrified.

I go to the table. Get a drink order. Get it started at the bar and then find their server.

He has no excuse. Can’t even explain where he’s been or what he was doing.

I see the guest one more time before I leave. He’s at the bar and we joke about the previous experience.

When I left, I called him to tell him I was leaving but did not share where I was going.

It was nice to see him tonight.

Also found out today the year round restaurant is closing for the winter on October 3.

I dodged a bullet there.

Money can’t buy everything.

My restaurant is in the middle of nowhere. 3 miles from town center. We are also in the middle of nowhere in a town that is the size of a postage stamp.

This presents lots of problems. The least of which is that transportation around town is hard to come by if you aren’t driving. It’s so bad that most of the resorts have their own shuttles.

Multiple times this summer we’ve had people stranded after dinner. They get an Uber then turns out they’ve stopped driving when it’s time to go home.

And this happened again tonight.

I know this because a man approached the host stand and said, I’ll pay a hundred dollars to anyone who will drive us back to our hotel.

I ask him to explain.

He’s serious.

I ask him who he thinks I could get to do this.

He says. Surely someone in the restaurant can drive him home.

I say like who.

He says a cook? A server? A dishwasher?

I almost laughed as I explained that we were in the middle of dinner service and if he could wait till 10:30 I’m sure someone could take home home.

He looked angry. And asked if I was serious. I again explained that we don’t just have extra folks in the kitchen waiting around for something to do.

He grunted snd walked away. I didn’t see him again so he must have gotten a ride.

I just looked it up. It’s only an hour walk to town center from our restaurant.

Perhaps I’ll share that next time.