There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

You ever think to yourself, I shouldn’t have said that.

Today on my way to work I thought to myself, you know it’s been weeks since I had a really, really angry guest confront me.

I shouldn’t have thought it.

Around 8:30 tonight the phone rings. I’m in my office.

The host sticks her head in and says there is a woman on the phone wanting to speak to a manager.

Hello. This is Jeff how may I help you?

She begins.

We were in earlier tonight to celebrate my son’s birthday.

I should have spoken up then but I didn’t want to embarrass him.

I made the reservation weeks ago and said when I made it that we were celebrating his birthday and to give us a nice table.

(Actually she made the reservation on line and just listed that it was a birthday. They were one of about 9 birthdays tonight).

She continues.

Then you put us at an awful table and expected us to squish into it.

(To be honest they were put at one of the best tables in the the restaurant.)

She continues.

Then you moved us to a different table and yes it was bigger but we were completely separate from the dining room and might as well have been sitting down the street.

(They were moved to a larger table. It’s a private dining area. With doors that close. We tell people they can’t have that room every day).

She continues.

Then we ordered dinner.

The service was great by the way.

But we had to send back two of the steaks because they were undercooked.

At the prices we we’re paying tonight those steaks should have been perfect.

You should have taken them off the bill the minute they were sent back.

I was surprised that you didn’t at least take a drink or two off the check.

And I shouldn’t have had to call to speak to you.

You should have done something before we left.

………

I was a little taken aback. Most people aren’t so brazen as to ask for free stuff.

I apologize.

Then try to explain our side.

The table we sat you at tonight is one of our best tables.

NOT FOR FOUR PEOPLE.

uh.

We have four people sitting at that table right now. They requested it when they came in and we moved them.

I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY. ITS TOO SMALL FOR FOUR PEOPLE.

Uh. Okay.

BESIDES THE REAL ISSUE IS THE STEAKS. WHEN YOU SPEND 56 DOLLARS ON STEAK IT SHOULD BE PERFECT.

I continue to try and explain.

I say the following things to her while she accuses me of making excuses.

Our version of medium rare is less than many restaurants.

We cook cook hundreds and hundreds of steaks sometimes one goes out undercooked. Hardly ever over cooked.

Both steaks that you sent back had a bone the steaks are always rarer closer to the bone.

I delivered the steaks after they were brought up to your desired temp. I even stopped by again and you said they were perfect.

BUT WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SEND THEM BACK AT ALL FOR THESE PRICES. WE SPENT ALMOST 300 DOLLARS.

She brings up the free drinks again.

I explain that in the state of Maine that it is illegal to give alcohol away. Yes some restaurants do it, but that if they get caught they can get in big trouble.

She tells me that’s not true.

She then tells me I’m not very apologetic.

She brings up how much she spent again.

She says that she wasn’t satisfied with dinner and she’s not satisfied now.

Ugh.

I’m NOT giving her a refund.

And all I can say is I’m sorry.

She finally hangs up.

Later when I sat down with Chef I told him not to be surprised if I get a bad survey.

Ugh.

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