I may have payed about this before.

Forgive me if I repeat myself.

We were booked solid tonight. No room for walk ins. The only tables open were at 7:45 for 2 tops.

This included the bar.

Around 5:45 a woman walks in looking for a a table for 2.

She is told we are booked. Even at the bar.

At this point she walks toward the entrance to the bar/restaurant. She looks back and says what about the empty chairs at the bar.

I repeat we are full.

She then goes into the restaurant and looks around.

She comes back and says she doesn’t understand why she can’t be say if we have empty tables and empty barstools.

Ugh.

I want to say.

I can seat you. I can get you water and some bread but you’ll need to be up in 6 minutes when the reservations for those chairs and tables show up.

Ahhhhh.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

WE ARE AN UPSCALE RESTAURANT.

I repeat.

WE ARE A NICE RESTAURANT.

We are not a brew pub. We are not Chili’s. We are not your local Mexican restaurant.

We are not those things.

This is made abundantly clear when you realize that the typical table for 2 spends more than $150 before tip.

So imagine my surprise when we had a table of women who thought we were Sam’s Truckstop.

At 7:00 four women were sat at table 21. Turns out they knew the foursome at table 22.

They huck it up while they are being seated.

Finally they sit down.

About six minutes later table 22 gets up to leave. They were seated at 5:00.

I let the host know they are up because their replacements are waiting.

But wait. They stand up. But don’t go anywhere.

One of the women from table 22 is now talking to table 21. Meanwhile the rest of table 22 is standing at the table. All three of them on their phones.

And this continues.

And continues.

And continues.

Finally the other woman from 22 also steps up to table 21.

It’s a high top. With two women blocking the aisles. Bucking it up.

The men are still standing at table 22.

And this continues.

And continues.

Finally the men leave.

The women stay.

And stay.

And stay.

They are getting louse and louder.

It’s now approaching 8:00. They are still standing there. Blocking the aisle. In everyone’s way.

And then before my eyes 6 shots of tequila have appeared on the table.

Fuck.

We are not that restaurant. You want a tequila neat? Okay. The table wants it? Not okay.

They are still whooping it up.

Finally they leave.

At this point the table has been there for an hour and haven’t ordered any food.

Finally they begin to act like normal people.

But seriously for an hour they were in everyone’s way and were loud and annoying. To everyone but mostly the staff.

Ugh.

I never share stories about my staff.

For several reasons.

First most of you know where I work so it would be easy to know who I’m talking about.

Also 90% of my staff reads this.

Also I don’t think it’s in my best interest to share that I’m going to fire Betty because she’s an idiot.

But I will talk about other people’s staff.

My Saturday night drives home is when I chat with a friend of mine who is also a GM.

She shared with me that she had to let an employee go this week.

The back story.

This friend and I worked together. She was my AGM when we worked together. We were working together when this employee was hired. She was never my favorite.

She has always been stubborn. Has always been vocal about things that displeased her. And she particularly didn’t like me.

So fast forward to last weekend. Their restaurant was busy. This employee was a food runner.

She picks up a tray and takes it into the dining room to deliver the food. She goes up to table 36 sets the tray on the stand and begins auctioning off the food.

At one point she has a salmon in her hand and she keeps asking who had the salmon? Who had the salmon? Who had the salmon?

Finally a very old man speaks up. He had the salmon. She sets it down. She delivers the other plates.

At last she picks up the tray turns around and says JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

The whole table heard.

Actually most of the dining room heard.

Two days later she was called into the office.

Where my friend explained that she was being let go.

The employee was stunned. She knew she’d said it but didn’t know it was so loud. She didn’t cry but she was sad.

My friend then spent the next few minutes telling her how to get a new job and explaining to her to be careful what she said outside of her head.

Of course: Who hasn’t said something out loud that should have remained unsaid?

I once told a table that THEY needed their 35 cent tip more than I did. I did a lot of back pedaling when I was confronted by the manager.

A little housekeeping.

First please excuse typos, lack of punctuation etc. I type each of these posts on my phone. And almost always while sipping a bourbon. And almost alway around 1:00 am. I do my best.

Also.

In the past couple of weeks a couple of my posts were not personal stories. They were relayed to me by people I am friends with in the business. I have LOTS of friends in the business.

Also.

I shared my blog address last night. Feel free to share it.

And I truly appreciate those of you who read. And those who reach out to say they enjoy my posts. I really enjoy this outlet. And it’s a great way to relax after I get home and expell the bad parts of my job.

Hugs!

At 5:00 a threesome walks in. Their reservation is for four but they don’t know when the fourth will arrive.

We seat them but are concerned about the turn.

They put off ordering.

They put off ordering.

Around 6:00 they finally agree to order. Even ordering their friend’s food.

Their appetizers arrive.

Then they cancel the fire on their entrees.

(In restaurant lingo we fire courses. Once you get your appetizers, we wait an appropriate time and we fire your entree. Letting the kitchen know we are ready for the next course) this is a post in and of it’s self.

They cancel their entrees for the moment.

Because.

Their friend is arriving soon. And they want to have 30 minutes or so before they arrive to chat before their food arrives.

Ugh.

All in all they were at the table for over 4 hours.

The server was annoyed because they lost a turn.

The kitchen was annoyed because they had to cancel food they had already started.

The host was annoyed because they had a table to seat there 2 hours later.

Everyone was annoyed except:

The man who made the reservation who let everyone know he was a surgeon. He saves lives so we must adapt to his needs.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

You ever think to yourself, I shouldn’t have said that.

Today on my way to work I thought to myself, you know it’s been weeks since I had a really, really angry guest confront me.

I shouldn’t have thought it.

Around 8:30 tonight the phone rings. I’m in my office.

The host sticks her head in and says there is a woman on the phone wanting to speak to a manager.

Hello. This is Jeff how may I help you?

She begins.

We were in earlier tonight to celebrate my son’s birthday.

I should have spoken up then but I didn’t want to embarrass him.

I made the reservation weeks ago and said when I made it that we were celebrating his birthday and to give us a nice table.

(Actually she made the reservation on line and just listed that it was a birthday. They were one of about 9 birthdays tonight).

She continues.

Then you put us at an awful table and expected us to squish into it.

(To be honest they were put at one of the best tables in the the restaurant.)

She continues.

Then you moved us to a different table and yes it was bigger but we were completely separate from the dining room and might as well have been sitting down the street.

(They were moved to a larger table. It’s a private dining area. With doors that close. We tell people they can’t have that room every day).

She continues.

Then we ordered dinner.

The service was great by the way.

But we had to send back two of the steaks because they were undercooked.

At the prices we we’re paying tonight those steaks should have been perfect.

You should have taken them off the bill the minute they were sent back.

I was surprised that you didn’t at least take a drink or two off the check.

And I shouldn’t have had to call to speak to you.

You should have done something before we left.

………

I was a little taken aback. Most people aren’t so brazen as to ask for free stuff.

I apologize.

Then try to explain our side.

The table we sat you at tonight is one of our best tables.

NOT FOR FOUR PEOPLE.

uh.

We have four people sitting at that table right now. They requested it when they came in and we moved them.

I DONT CARE WHAT YOU SAY. ITS TOO SMALL FOR FOUR PEOPLE.

Uh. Okay.

BESIDES THE REAL ISSUE IS THE STEAKS. WHEN YOU SPEND 56 DOLLARS ON STEAK IT SHOULD BE PERFECT.

I continue to try and explain.

I say the following things to her while she accuses me of making excuses.

Our version of medium rare is less than many restaurants.

We cook cook hundreds and hundreds of steaks sometimes one goes out undercooked. Hardly ever over cooked.

Both steaks that you sent back had a bone the steaks are always rarer closer to the bone.

I delivered the steaks after they were brought up to your desired temp. I even stopped by again and you said they were perfect.

BUT WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO SEND THEM BACK AT ALL FOR THESE PRICES. WE SPENT ALMOST 300 DOLLARS.

She brings up the free drinks again.

I explain that in the state of Maine that it is illegal to give alcohol away. Yes some restaurants do it, but that if they get caught they can get in big trouble.

She tells me that’s not true.

She then tells me I’m not very apologetic.

She brings up how much she spent again.

She says that she wasn’t satisfied with dinner and she’s not satisfied now.

Ugh.

I’m NOT giving her a refund.

And all I can say is I’m sorry.

She finally hangs up.

Later when I sat down with Chef I told him not to be surprised if I get a bad survey.

Ugh.

I’ve probably gotten over a 1,000 messages since I started my current job.

999 of them have all been a version of I’d like a table for 3 on Saturday night.

But every so often one stands out.

My favorite was a woman who called to make a reservation.

She started asking about a table, then got distracted.

Then the call went way off the tracks.

The woman begins to yell at the man I can hear in the background. She’s vicious. Fuck you. Fuck this. Don’t be so fucking stupid.

It got worse from there.

And it went on and one.

I listened for about six or seven minutes then hung up.

I didn’t erase it.

I recorded about 2 minutes on my phone, so I could prove it happened.

Then I erased it.

I wish now I’d gotten the number from caller I’d and looked them up in our reservation system.

But alas, I’ll never know who they were.

The phone rings around 5:45 today.

I pick up.

Hello. I’d like to make a reservation for 4 on Saturday.

Okay. Let me take a look.

After about 15 seconds I reply, unfortunately the only thing I have for 4 on Saturday would be at 8:30.

We’ll that’s interesting.

….

…..

Would you like to make the reservation?

You mean you don’t have anything else open? I don’t understand…

I’m sorry but we are full earlier in the evening.

What about at the bar.

I can do 2 people around 5:15 but nothing for 4.

I seriously don’t understand.

Yes. We are booked.

….

….

That’s really interesting that you won’t give me a reservation.

I’m sorry.

….

….

….

Okay then thanks for calling.

Lots of people eat out.

Lots of people use the restroom while they are out to eat.

But.

Did you know that if there are two of you at the table and you both want to go to the restroom before you leave… you can go at the same time.

There is no need to hold the table you are vacating an extra ten, fifteen, even twenty minutes.

You both put your napkins on your table.

You push your chair back, stand up, and leave the table.

At the same time.

We are not pushing you out.

But you’re finished. You’ve paid. Your leftovers are boxed.

Help everyone out by leaving your table together.

That’s all.

That’s my ted talk.

As expected we were very busy this weekend.

Summer numbers on Saturday, even with all the 2 tops.

And as expected we sold lots and lots and lots of filets.

And as expected we also had Wagyu filets that looked amazing. I didn’t get to taste one though.

I asked everyone their guess for how many and the grand total was 112.

And the winner was Henry who was right on the mark.

He wins a pat on the back and a big congratulations !!!