Fun fact: Menus change. Often.

Everyone who wants to stay current changes their menu.

We changed ours a month ago.

A table of 4 was in tonight.

One of the guests accosts me in the lobby to let me know her thoughts on the changes.

She is pissed that the avocado salad is no longer on the menu. Pissed she says.

She is also angry that her cheeseburger wasn’t served with lettuce, tomato and onion. She is really angry that there was no lettuce that could be brought to her after she received her burger.

I just listen.

She clearly thought she was dining at Burger King where you can have it your way.

However, at my restaurant we do not add anything to the burger.

You can’t get sautéed onions as we don’t have a flat top to sauté them on.

You can’t get avocado.

You can’t get LTO.

You can’t.

Why you ask?

Because when you are doing volume special rea quests can kill the kitchen.

I worked at a restaurant that had a Cobb salad.

No one.

I repeat no one.

Ever ordered the salad that was on the menu.

Can I get no bleu cheese. No onion. Extra bacon. Add chicken. Can the chicken not have seasoning. And can you split it.

Meanwhile there are 14 of these salads in the kitchen. And inevitably it gets made wrong. Or taken to the wrong table.

So we will allow deletions.

No additions.

She was not happy with me.

She said it was weird.

Hmmm.

Tonight at 8:00 a bunch people walk in.

A woman walks up and says we are the Smith party of 10.

I say we don’t have a Smith party of 10.

She explains oh, yes, we made two 5 top reservations.

Ugh.

I explain that unfortunately they can’t sit together. In fact we have them at 2 separate tables, in two private rooms.

This starts chaos on their part.

This is my favorite thing that people do.

Often when we say no, the party will wander into the dining room and then come back to explain how we can make it work.

Tonight’s party did that.

Two women wander in.

They are back in 90 seconds to explain that they can sit in one of the rooms.

I explain that they cap out at 8.

They wonder back in.

Come back and say they’ll make it work.

I say no.

I finally send them in to be seated at their two tables and 90 seconds later a man appears and wants to know why they can’t just squish and I say because it’s not fair to the server whose been waiting on a five top all night.

He say oh. Okay.

They sit at two separate tables.

The host as she’s seating them says, next time just call the restaurant we have large rooms we could have put you in but unfortunately they are just not available tonight.

I don’t have a lot of patience who think they are getting one over on us.

The app says call for parties over 6.

The website says call for parties over 6.

So call. For parties over 6.

Tonight a server finds me in the lobby.

She is holding a bottle about the size of a nip.

A nip for those who don’t know is the New England term for a tiny airplane bottle of booze.

It’s not a nip.

It’s a bottle of some flavoring.

She explains that her table has brought in their own ingredients for a cocktail. They just need to use our booze.

This is a first ever for me.

I have to explain that NO we can’t do that. People can’t bring their own products.

As I said it’s a first for the bar.

I have had people show up with a cooler and want the chef to cook the seafood they brought from their fishing trip.

Either way.

It’s a hard NO.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I just sat down to read Facebook.

This was in my messages. From work.

It’s 12 hours later. I never responded. I’m not on Facebook or my phone during work.

I have no idea if she came in for dinner tonight.

We could have easily accommodated her if she wanted to.

She just needed to call.