The phone rings around 5:30. The host answered. It’s a woman calling to pay for her parents dinner.

The host explains that we can’t accommodate them after service starts.

Fun story. Last weekend a person called at 4:00 to order champagne for a table. The host was on the phone for 15 minutes trying to take care of them.

Anyway.

The person on the phone loses her shit and says she’ll come down and do it in person.

An hour later a man appears in our lobby to give us his information.

The host doesn’t know what to say or do.

Fun fact.

The following interaction took me out of play for 15 minutes.

We had to get his credit card information.

He insisted we run his card so he could sign.

But.

You can’t run a card for a tab that hasn’t been created yet.

I take his information. But of course his card is 27,000 years old. You can’t read any of the numbers.

Then I have to find the server.

Explain what is going on.

Explain that the CVV code could be any of three choices as the card is broken and you can’t make out the last number.

I go back hand the guy his card.

He’s still perplexed as to why he can’t sign anything.

So.

If you want to treat a friend to dinner at an expensive dinner.

Go with them.

Or.

Pay for a gift card.

It’s easier. You can do it online. They get an email.

And it’s not a pain in our ass.