Edit: I remember this night very clearly. It was strange. And stupid and so called Amy didn’t get fired. She was back at work a few days later and we became great friend. I still have no idea what the drama was about.

As for Italians.

I learned how to make money off of foreigners at my job. In fact a few months before I left I did a tutorial to some of my co-workers on how to make money from visitors from other countries. It really was about the way you approached them.

Server edition:

I’ve become the worst blogger ever. I used to post everyday, and felt guilty if I didn’t. Now I barely post once a week. What am I becoming. A lot of it has to do with just being tired. Waiting tables is taking it out of me, so that even when I don’t work I’m exhausted. I’ll try to be better. I promise.

I worked tonight. It was actually an adventure just starting my shift. On Tuesday night I was approached by a manager asking if I’d be interested in picking up a cocktail shift for Friday night. Seems a server’s mother was ill and she was going to be out of town all week to be with her. I needed the money so of course I said yes. Fast forward to today. I get to work and am pulled aside by a different manager. Seems the girl with the sick mother, came back early and showed up to work her shift. So now they have two people to work in one station, even though I signed the book and it rightfully belongs to me. Not one to be bitchy (well most of the time) I asked what was going to happen, and I was assured that I’d get a shift, if I just let them work it out.

About 25 minutes later, the same manager comes back to me and tells me I’m going to be in section 5 and that it’s all worked out. This makes me happy because although it’s not as good as the section I was supposed to be in, it’s still good and I won’t have to work as hard. Fast forward 10 minutes. I’m sitting with the crew, waiting for pre-shift to start (this is where they fill us in on the specifics for the evening) and the same manager tells me there might be a problem with my shift and to just sit tight. Then another manager pulls me aside and tells me the shift is mine, but that someone else is there to work and I just have to wait until they talk to her before I can take it. Then the original manager comes back by and tells me not to say anything during pre-shift and just pretend that I don’t have a shift until they can figure it all out. And so that’s what I do. I sit there and listen as everyone else is told where they are working and what’s happening for the evening. I now realize that a girl named Amy is in my section but I still have no idea what’s going on.

Pre-shift ends and everyone scatters to start their shift. I’m told to go wait in the manager’s office and await further instruction. At about 5:15 it’s announced that everyone needs to leave the office so there can be a meeting with a server…Amy. I get up and stand outside chatting with other employees. I’m chatting and don’t see her go in. It’s now almost 5:25 and they still haven’t told me what’s going on and they’ve just taken Amy into the office to talk to her. I wait, and wait, and wait and suddenly the door opens Amy bursts out crying and storms off. I have no idea what’s happened or why. Then the manager comes out and tells me I can now start my shift.

I head off to my section to find it completely full and find out from another server it’s been full since 5:15. Which means that people have been sitting there for almost 15 minutes without being helped. I’m now going to have to do some damage control if I’m not going to be stiffed on my first round of tables. I greet all the tables and tell them that the server who was supposed to be waiting on them has had a family emergency and had to leave. I apologize to them profusely and tell them they’ll be in the best of hands now. It seems to appease everyone. I’ve now said the same thing to all four tables and I think everything is under control. And then, while I’m standing at the computer entering orders an entirely different manager comes up and starts to bitch me out because I have been missing in action for 30 minutes and my tables haven’t been waited on. I wait until he stops to take a breath and tell him to go speak to George about where I’ve been. That I was doing exactly what I was told and that every thing was under control. His response. Perhaps he should give one of my tables away since I don’t seem to be able to handle them. I grunted and walked away. About 20 minutes later he came back up to me and ask how everything was and apologized that he was yelling at me, when clearly no one had kept him in the loop about what was going on.

And that was my first 45 minutes of work. I’d love to say that it got better from there but it didn’t. It was 5% night tonight. At least 10 or 11 tables left less than 10%. And if I’ve said it once I’ve said it a 1,000 times. Italian tourists suck ass. If they tip at all, which they don’t always do, it’s never more than 5 bucks no matter what the tab. Oh, and to the very nice teenage four-some that was the last table seated in my section. You know, the ones who took forever to order. The ones that took forever to eat. The ones who made me do a birthday when no one was in the restaurant. The one I gave the free dessert to because it was your birthday. $6.75 on a 75 dollar tab is not acceptable. In fact it’s insulting. If you are educated enough to tip, then pull out the calculator on your cell phone and figure out what 15% is. And since you got free food, and a birthday…why don’t you make it 20%. I’m just saying.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Server addition!!!

Edit: I’d like to say the post I am about to post is about the night at my last serving job that changed the trajectory of my life there. I went from being a server….to a cocktail server. The minutes I started I was sold. I told my manager I never wanted to do a regular section again. And it helped that only the brave and stupid wanted to work that section. You know who you are!!! The money was good but you worked for every penny. More on that later.

Now for the post:

It’s 3 a.m. and I just got home. I have to be back at work in 7 hours. Something tells me I’m going to be a little tired tomorrow.

Monetarily tonight was the best night I ever had waiting tables. I walked with almost 20% of my sales. Of course I ran my ass off all night. I was in one of the cocktail sections and it’s a much different beast than just waiting tables. The pace is much faster, people drink more, and you have to be one step ahead all night. I was originally scheduled in a regular section but someone wanted to switch because the cocktailers are there till close. I wasn’t sure I was making the right decision but it meant I didn’t have to go up and down any stairs so I said sure.

At first I thought I had made a mistake. There were no tables and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. And then almost at once, all my tables filled up, my rail filled up and there were several people deep wanting drinks. This was around 6 p.m. and it didn’t stop until 1:30 a.m. What’s funny is I’m not really tired. I had such a rush of adrenaline, that I’m wide awake and I could run a couple of miles before bed.

For the most part everyone was tipping really well tonight. I had probably 6 or 7 tables that tipped 30 or 40%. Of course as always there was the one or two people I just wanted to smack. My very first table of the day was the 4 twelve year old homos from Pittsburgh who were in town for the day. They got great service because I wasn’t busy at all yet, and I even gave them directions to the train section. They were kind enough to leave me 6 bucks on a 65 dollar tab. I hope they got hit by a cab crossing the street. They should know better. And as usual, my one and only Italian table left me 5 bucks on a 75 dollar tab. Someone really needs to do some international relations with them and explain that I only make a few dollars an hour without the tip. And then I had a few tables at the end who left pretty shabby money, but by then it was clear I was going to clear a lot of money tonight so I just didn’t care. In fact I made enough money that I spent 30 bucks and took a cab home tonight. 20 minutes by cab verses 90 minutes by train when you have to be up early in the morning makes it worth it.

So the night ended by my telling the server manager that I would work in cocktails anytime she wanted. Most people hate it so it shouldn’t be a problem getting the shifts again. It’s hard work, but the money is good and that’s why I’m there.

Have a great Sunday all.

I’m standing at the host stand on the patio listening to a foursome at the bar talk loudly.

The girl keeps going on and on and on about how her husband wasn’t interested in her sexually until they’d been dating about 3 years. She’s shouting all of this. They didn’t kiss, no sex etc.

They have clearly been drinking.

I hear her say, HEY YOU! CAN I GET A….

The bartender has cut her off and said, “my name is not hey you. It’s Alex.

I laugh and laugh.

She apologizes. And asks for a soda water.

Meanwhile I’m admiring how smartly her gay husband is dressed.

A server comes to me tonight to tell me she has an issue.

Her table is finished eating.

The table has been cleared.

Any thing left has been packed up or in the trash.

And the gentleman at the table has taken this opportunity to tell her that he thinks his porterhouse was actually a t-bone so he will only be paying for the t0-bone.

I laugh and I laugh and say that’s now how any of this works.

I let her know he’ll be paying for the porterhouse and to come get me if he puts up a stink.

I don’t see her again till she’s checking out.

As I’ve mentioned this week, 12 times it’s been kids week.

Kids as far as the eye can see.

Table 25 tonight, sat at 5:00 was 2 adults and 3 kids.

And they were lovely.

The kids crawled around on the floor.

They threw food every where.

They refused to eat any thing.

At one point two of them were under the table pouting for some reason.

But the best part.

When they left the table was a mess.

Food everywhere. Silver ware on the floor.

And a very dirty diaper thrown under the table.

Yes. You read that right.

A very dirty diaper thrown under the table.

That is all.

Last night a server comes to me and says, “Table 21 just got into a huge fight. One of the women thru down a bunch of cash and walked out.”

I ask her to explain.

She says, “They’d just gotten their food, they all got mad. A woman paid the bill and they all left.”

She then asked if it was okay to take home the meat on the table to her dogs since they didn’t any of it. I assure her it was fine.

Their tab was $400 and they didn’t eat any of their dinner.

But Beth’s dog ate great last night.

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Anybody want to guess how my evening started.

First we had a party of 15 at 5:00.

They were prompt. Right at 5:00.

The first person thru the door said, Hi we are the Smith party.

The host said are you still going to be 15 people.

The woman at the door said oh, no. We are going to be 18 people.

Who does that?

Then 5 minutes later the phone rings and its a reservation for 7:15.

It’s a 10 top.

Who made 2 five top reservations demanding that we seat them together.

They are actually 7 now, but it’s fucked up.

One of my hosts told me I was being a dick for not seating them together.

And I probably am.

But this is the fourth time this week this has happened.

And it’s the third time I’ve been yelled at about it.

I’m getting PTSD.

Seriously.

I need advice.

From my teacher friends.

From my HR friends.

From my manager friends.

From my smart friends.

From all the other friends I have who haven’t been mentioned yet.

I’ll start by saying everything I’m about to type has been said to my staff. In a public forum, for the past 48 hours.

I have a wide variety of team members.

Wide variety.

Some of my staff aren’t old enough to drink. Some just got their driver’s license.

Others are finished with college, adults, late 20’s early to mid 30’s.

Then we move into our 40’s, 50’s and even 60’s.

These are all front of house employees.

They all also come with varying degrees of experience.

Some are professionals. Lifers. They’ve been doing this since the beginning of time.

Some have 10+ years of experience.

Some started in the restaurant industry five weeks ago.

So I am dealing with a wide range of experience, knowledge, and talent.

All of this is NOT new to me. It’s all been par for the course when you work in this industry in a business that needs more employees than there are to go around.

I’ve often said you can only hire the people that come through the door and you often make concessions when you’d rather not.

When I opened David’s in 2013 we had a hiring event three weeks before we opened. This is way before the employee crisis.

We sat down to go over who to hire and we made offers to ALL the yes pile, ALL the maybe pile. And half the no pile.

The moral of the story is, that since I began this journey it’s always been a very diverse group of individuals when it comes to experience.

But.

As I’ve also said.

I’ve always had help. Other sets of eyes. Other managers to help with the daily operations. In fact all three of my prior jobs I was mostly in the office. Doing admin, budgeting, invoicing etc.

I’m a one man band now. And I truly don’t mind. I love my job.

But I’m currently struggling, looking for advice.

Every day at 4:30 we have pre-meal.

The chef gives the specials, the 86 list, etc. He then turns it over to me.

I spend about 10 to 12 minutes on stuff.

Housekeeping for the most part.

The staff is informed of how busy we are going to be. Whether the first turn or the second turn is busier.

They get told about any new things.

But.

Mostly.

It’s a reminder about the guidelines we follow for the restaurant.

Make sure you don’t just bring bread. Ask if they want it.

Make sure to offer both complimentary still and sparkling water.

Make sure to let me know immediately of any dishes that are sent back to the kitchen to be re-cooked.

Let me know if there are any tables who are taking their time to ensure that we have a plan for the second turn.

Make sure that you ask chef before ringing in anything that is not offered on the menu.

Let the chef know about any allergies before ringing them in.

Make sure that you are fully pre-bussing tables so there is nothing on the table at the end including chimichurri sauce.

Make sure you don’t unset the tables on the patio until the last guests are on dessert.

These are a few the housekeeping guidelines I offer.

Over. And Over. And Over. And Over. And Over. And Over.

Every single one of my staff has heard this.

Over and Over and Over and Over.

Last night. I started pre-shift by saying I think that all of you are trying to gaslight me because I give you my notes.

Over and Over and Over.

They five minutes later you ask a question I just answered OR you do something I just told you NOT to do.

For example.

Last night I said all that and said.

Do not order anything for a guest that is NOT on the menu without asking chef first. Especially in the summer. This conversation was around 4:40.

At 5:30 a server walks up to me and says, “my table says that they order a side of sweetbreads every time they come here. Do I need to ask chef about this?”

Sweetbreads are NOT offered as a side on our menu. Yes. Ask the fucking chef.

Seriously. 45 minutes after the meeting the very example I gave and they ask the question.

Then today two employees said that I said you couldn’t order sweet breads in the summer.

I actually went up to employee who was there yesterday and said, did I say that? She assured me I did not.

I used the chimichurri on the table example yesterday and the kid I was talking about acknowledged it was him and then his first table to pay out had chimi on the table.

Tonight I go out to the patio to see if L-4 has ordered yet and discovered every table on the patio has been cleared of their place setting all the while knowing everyone out there knows that we don’t clear clean tables

until the last table is on dessert.

I have been assured I’m clear in my communication.

I’ve been told I’m not ambiguous.

I don’t want to be an asshole.

But I’m kind of tired of seriously telling people something at 4:45 and watching them do it 5 minutes later.

Another example. On Thursday, I pulled a server aside and said when you are clearing tables, be sure to clear and set. Clear and set. Do not clear three tables and then set three tables. If you do that there are three tables that can’t be sat until all three tables can be set.

So tonight I asked her to clear and set table 23.

I come back to the dining room and she is wiping table 25 but table 23 isn’t set.

So I have 2 tables I can’t use.

It’s annoying as FUCK.

And I’m at my wits end.

Do I fire them all?

Do I ignore them all?

Do I start writing them up as my employee Jen suggested yesterday in pre-shift. She has a corporate background and told them all they are lucky they don’t work for a corporate restaurant?

And I’d deal with it if it was only the inexperienced. But the 50 and 60 year old’s are just as bad.

Help. Help. Help.