There are few things I will never understand about people.

First are couples who sit at a 4 top and sit across from each other.  You could take the corner.  Hold hands.  Kanoodle. 

But no.

You sit across from each other like you are at a business dinner. 

This happened tonight with a very attractive table. 

If it was a date, it was not going well. 

And.

I don’t understand far-sitters.

People who push out 10 feet from the table.

At table 24 tonight all of them were far sitters.  The table is in the middle of the dining room. 

We larger folks had trouble getting passed. 

They were not large folks.  They just chose to sit 1,985 feet from the table.

The only thing worse is the people who push back and cross their legs, which stick out into the aisle. 

And.

I also don’t understand, people who ask for weird shit on their reservation.

Tonight someone said, to serve a chocolate soufflé for dessert to the table.   

Like seriously. 

We are going to whip up a dessert on command just because you asked. 

It’s as annoying as the guests who yelled at the server because Chef wouldn’t cut the Mexican corn off the cob for the table. 

Last night a table yelled because he wouldn’t carve their steak table side. 

Seriously. 

And I’ll end by saying:

I was out at the patio tonight when a guy walked up to me, fan-girling all over the place about how much he loved, loved, loved the restaurant.  He said, it was actually a problem with him and his wife.  They were traveling with friends and he made the four of them drive three hours out of the way to eat at our restaurant.

WOW.  I was impressed.

So.

I went to the host. And had her move things around so he could have the best possible experience. 

The best table. 

A great server.

They were led to the table and refused to sit there.

They said it was too loud.  I explained why he was being sat there.

They didn’t care.

So I’m sure they had a great experience.

But.

They could have had a stellar, out of this world experience.

But alas.

It was not to be.

I was so annoyed.  I never checked back in with them. 

And last but not least.

We seem to have been discovered as a child friendly restaurant.

On Sunday’s kids eat free.  Hehehe.  (Not really)

The Gallery, where we put large parties, has been a daycare for the past two days. 

Last night we had a 12 top that had 6 adults and 6 kids under 6. 

Tonight we had a 10 top that was 3 adults and 7 kids. 

Under 10. 

Garrett who works in the Gallery every night he is scheduled has started calling it, Garrett’s Day Care. 

It wouldn’t be so bad, but they all share a bunch of stuff. 

Garrett waited on almost 20 guests tonight and his sales were $600.  Around $35 per person. 

On what should have been a great night, he made $75 dollars.

Yes, you win some, you lose some, but it’s frustrating. 

After dinner, the 10 top sent the 7 kids with one of the adults and the 2 remaining made out in the parking lost by the kitchen door.

You can’t make this shit up.

Occasionally the hosts get lost. 

They seat a table and for get to mark it as seated. 

Then they wonder why they haven’t shown up yet. 

Several times since I’ve worked there, the hosts have called a guest to see if they are still coming, only to have the guest say, we are seated and just got our drinks.

It’s embarrassing.

It’s also kind of funny. 

That happened yesterday.

But that’s not what this story is about.

Last night a guest checked in. 

They were an 8:00 reservation and arrived at 7:30.  They were told it would be closer to 8:00 before we could get them seated. 

They said great.  We’ll go to the outside bar and get drinks.

And we never heard from them again. 

There were no unaccounted for tables.

They didn’t answer their phone when we called.

They didn’t respond to the texts we sent them asking where they were.

They didn’t call to complain when I charged the $100 for not showing up to eat. 

They just disappeared into thin air.

For the life of me I have no idea what happened.

Perhaps they were marked arrived by mistake. 

Perhaps they got tired of waiting and went to McDonald’s. 

Perhaps they were seated and don’t realize they’ve been charged yet.

It’s a mystery. 

This has never happened to me before.

I’ll keep you posted.