Well.

Tonight was an adventure in addition and subtraction.

First. 

I notice around 3:00 that a person has made a reservation for 4 people.  But in her notes she lets us know that they have 2 kids.  Making it 6. 

I love.  Love.  Love.  People who don’t know children are people.  They take up space.  They sit in chairs. 

You needed to make a reservation for 6. 

NOT.

4. 

I change the reservation to 6. 

Meanwhile, at 5:15 a party walks in. 

A woman approaches the host stand and says, “We are the Smith party”. 

The host says, “Yes.  Are you still going to be 5 people?)

The woman replies, “Well actually I tried to make the reservation for 6 but Resy wouldn’t let me.  So I made it for 5 instead.  So we are going to be 6 people”. 

Seriously!!!

I explain that we won’t be able to seat them at 5:15 and might not be able to get them seated until around 5:45.

Part of the reason is that we had to move them to another table and we don’t want to double, or triple seat the server. 

Also, I want to inconvenience them.    Which I know is petty on my part, but what the fuck????

The woman asks why they can’t just be sat at their assigned table, and I have to explain that a table with 5 chairs won’t accommodate a party with 6 people.  It’s basic math.  I also let her know that Resy actually gives you a message that says for more than 5 people call the restaurant.

She wants to know why they have to call…

And the reason is so that I can absolutely control the spread and seating of large parties so the kitchen doesn’t get squashed. 

They wait about 10 minutes and are seated.

Meanwhile. 

I go out to the patio.

I’m out there when a couple walks up and asks if they should check in with us inside or outside. 

I ask their name.

It’s the Jones party. 

She called late in the afternoon to switch her reservation from inside to outside. 

I generally say no to this.

Why? 

Because a lot of people do this.  And it’s not fair to the inside servers who lose reservations all night with people who didn’t want to gamble with the weather,  changing their reservations to outside. 

My standard answer is sorry the patio is fully booked. 

I mark them as arrived, and they head inside.

Only I notice that they are reserved as a party of 5 and there are 7 of them.

I let them walk past and I head to the host stand inside.  I tell the host that the Jones party is reserved as 5 but 7 people are coming in. 

The couple arrives first and says they are the Jones party of 5. 

The host leads them to the table.  But I’m serious.  Its 7 people.  5 grown adults.  And 3 kids that will definitely need chairs. 

The host comes back and says that they are asking for an extra chair. 

I explain that we don’t have extra chairs. 

And we don’t.  Every table is assigned a number of seats.  And we don’t adjust them.  We don’t pull tables together.  We don’t cap tables.  We don’t let people squeeze.  We can comfortably seat parties up to 40 with no problem as long as we know they are going to be that large. 

The host comes back and says they are going to make it work. 

30 minutes later I realize they have commandeered our two high chairs and the 6 year old is sitting in a high chair. 

At 6:00 we have a large party reservation arrive.  They are seated.  With large parties over 9 we use a special 3 course pre-fixe menu.  It’s a ton of food for a not small price.  It’s truly priced so that if you ordered all of the items you are served it would cost the same. 

They are seated.  They are served.  The food comes and goes.  Everything is great.

Once again, I’m standing at the outside host stand when I see the server present the check to the host.  90 seconds later they are walking toward me. 

He approaches and shows me the check. 

He explains that we charged them for 9 adults and 3 children when in fact they only had 8 adults.

UGH!!!!

I explain that I  sent them a contract that they agreed to that was specific about the number of covers we would serve.  It explained that we needed 72 hours’ notice to change the cover count.  It was very specific that no matter how many people who showed we’d be serving food for 12, and they would pay for 12.

He was not happy but said he’d deal with. 

Meanwhile, the party of 6 that I adjust earlier in the day has arrived.  Seems they managed to find a babysitter at the last minute and will only be 4 adult guests.

Kids are people folks. 

Like Soylent Green. 

Like Soylent Green.  (Look it up kids).