I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

About two or three weeks ago, I came home frustrated.  Very.  Very.  Frustrated. 

In my frustration, I wrote a very long post about the struggles I was having with my staff. 

The post was really more about me than them.  As I mentioned then, I have no one to vent to at work and I dropped the bomb here. 

In the post, I asked if any of my friends in the world of my readers could help with my struggles. 

And lo and behold, someone reached out. 

An professional who gets paid to deal with similar struggles on a daily basis. 

This was not a close friend.  In fact, when they friended me on Facebook I had to look them up via mutual friends to figure out who they were.  It didn’t take long to find the connection and to remember how our paths had crossed. 

They reached out via messenger and asked me to give them a call. 

It’s taken two weeks but on the way home tonight….I called.

We played catch up at first, but then the conversation was brought back to the reason for the call. 

They, were very, very, very, very helpful.. 

They reminded me that I’m actually good at my job and my struggles are the same struggles no matter the industry. 

They gave me some help in how to deal with my staff that can’t seem to grasp why I want things done the way I do.  The staff who says I have too many rules. 

They even gave me wording for a contract that I could draw up with my staff that lays out the reason I need them to perform at a certain level, and lays out the expectations of that performance. 

They reminded me to take what I wanted and leave the rest.

The conversation continued for more than an hour.  I sat in the garage for 20 minutes chatting when I got home. 

We shared stories of our past together, stories of life since we knew each other. 

At one point though, the person said that they thought I might be being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.  That sometimes they felt like I was being a dick for the sake of being a dick.  I’m not sure if they used the word dick but the implication was there. 

They brought up stories I’ve told of being stubborn with guests. 

I started to protest, but I shut up and just listened. 

When they were finished I made some points. 

First. 

I owned it. 

Yes.  You are right. 

Sometimes I’m stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.  But I assured them I tended to go there when they came in for a fight. 

They reminded me that they might not be looking for a fight but instead some forgiveness for not playing by the rules.  And that I should try to find forgiveness, kindness and reason before I needed to be right. 

Ugh.  I hate when people are right.  Hate it. 

And they were right.  

They reminded me that if my staff thought I was being a dick for the sake of being a dick I probably was. 

I then went on to say, that sometimes the guest had already been unreasonable before I get to the story. Long before the host calls me to the door to fix the problem. 

The people who come in ready for a fight because they are wealthy and entitled and need to make sure everyone knows it.  I do dig my heels in, because I hate, hate, hate when people use their wealth for bad. 

But I do agree that sometimes that it is not the case. 

I also let them know that just like the news I don’t report on the good.  I don’t tell a lot of the stories of the times I helped people. 

About the times, that I swallowed my pride and did the right thing. 

For example the table of 12 this past weekend that I gave a reservation to, even though it was against the rules, sat them at 2 six tops next to each other and accommodated their requests.  Especially since 7 of them were under the age of 10. 

About the times, that I make Chef mad by over seating the dining room because I won’t tell regulars NO when they call at 4:00 for a reservation on Saturday night.  (This happened this past Saturday, when I took 15 more people than I was supposed to at 5:00). 

About the times, that I made sure their requests were fulfilled. 

I don’t tell these stories because everyone knows a train wreck is far for more interesting to look at. 

And last,  I say that I need to make sure that I start telling people good stories as well as bad so all of you know, I’m not really an asshole. 

In fact, I posted about Chef’s article in the local paper and the first comment on the article at the website was a comment about the staff, led by Jeff F.  A guest tonight told me about that.  It felt good to be recognized. 

The last thing the person said to me before we ended the call was to make sure that ALL of my staff knows of my passion for the restaurant.  My passion for the food.  The service.  The ambiance.  The entire experience. 

If they can believe me when I say it, then they’ll understand why I need them to have the same passion when it comes to their job. 

So take aways:

1. I like my job.
2. I’m passionate.
3. My team does a great job and I should post about that to balance my frustrations.
4. We have great guests and I should balance that with my jerk stories.
5. I should take the high road when they take the low road. 
6. I should put together a contract as part of my ongoing creation of training materials.
7. And I should remember that if I didn’t want everyone to do a good job I wouldn’t be so hard on myself.

And.

That at the end of the day, we are all there to do the best that we can do.  We are all in different places, and it’s my job to get everyone to the same place.