I got to work today and was scrolling thru the reservations.

I got super excited about a 5:00 reservation. They had a name that was a variation of my name. And I wanted to make sure I was in the lobby when they came in to say hi.

I was there. We exchanged pleasantries.

They were seated.

A bout 30 minutes the server comes to let me know they aren’t happy.

They have received their meals but their salads weren’t served first.

I ask her if I should visit them. She says no. I do say that I will make sure to be at the door when they leave to check in.

And so I am.

They arrive at the host stand and are leaving, and I ask how their meal was.

The wife says “alright.”

I ask, “just alright?”

And she gets that pursed look on her face that I hate. My mother would do that.

Her husband says, “He asked Go ahead.”

And she tells me all the ways that the evening was horrible.

Their salads weren’t served first.

The music was too loud.

They got their food too fast.

The window looked out on the parking lot.

The server never checked in on them.

The tables were too close.

The restaurant wasn’t romantic.

The neighbors was too loud.

They never got their potatoes.

I listen. They finish.

I’m not sure what to say.

The salads weren’t served first because they are sides.

The food came fast because they sat at 5:00. Every. Every. Every. Restaurant is fast at 5:00. There is no one in front of you. Most people who eat at 5:00 want to be fast. When Adam and I eat at 5:00 we are on our way to a show. We don’t want to linger.

Yes. The music is loud. We are an Argentine steak house. Not Delmonico’s. And no we did not turn it down, because the man who signs my check sets the volume. Not one other person complained tonight, not even the other people sat at 5:00 who were your age.

Yes. The window in the dining room looks into the parking lot. My little town is filled with restaurants that look out on to the water. If we had water views your filet would be 1.5 times more expensive. Also our dining room is fucking beautiful. And if it’s your anniversary, look at your husband.

The server said, her version, that she came over after your food was served but you waved her away because you were annoyed you’d gotten your food. She also said, you got your mashed potatoes as you ordered. She put them on the table herself. You didn’t get two orders because your salads were actually your sides.

Yes, the tables are close. For Maine. If we were in NYC or Chicago, or any other major cities we’d have four more tables in that row of tables. Three inches apart.

As for your loud neighbors, did you say hi? Did you talk to them? Keep them occupied so they can’t be loud. Or you can be loud with them.

And we are a VERY romantic restaurants. We have sooooooo many first dates at our restaurant. One guy calls me his wing man because; he calls me to tell me he’s bringing another first date to the restaurant. I see him at least every two weeks. He’s hot. The girls he brings are hotter. We treat him like gold. Eventually, he’ll find the right one.

The couple left two reviews.

One was a response to our survey.

One was on Google.

Both mentioned that they talked to the owner on their way out and he didn’t respond to their complaints.

I’m not the owner….but…..

I didn’t know what to say.

The salads are side. Did you ask for them first?

I have no idea how to address the view. I can’t move the restaurant. We don’t have a roof top dining room. The patio looks on to the parking lot. I was screwed there.

I really think you were going to be unhappy with anything we did. You really needed to be at a white table cloth restaurant.

Meanwhile. I had 30 conversations tonight telling me how wonderful we are. How great Bob was. How great Andy was. How great the 45 day dry aged Wagyu strip was. How great the bread pudding was. So many people were there for the first time tonight. From just down the road. From Connecticut. From Philadelphia. From Portland.

When they were seated, we gave them a lovely card wishing them happy anniversary and thanking them for celebrating at our restaurant. They gave it back to the server with the words, we will never be back.

So I will ask again…was it us? Or you?