I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while.

I work in a restaurant in a town filled with VERY, VERY wealthy people. 

Like VERY wealthy. 

Not rich. 

But WEALTHY. 

People who drive Maserati’s as their everyday car.  People who are CEO’s of fortune 500 companies.  People who have helicopters to fly them from the very, very, small private where they’ve airport just just landed their private jet, to their beach compound. 

Seriously, I asked a lady one night if she could arrange to have their helicopter pilot fly me home after work.  My drive is 45 minutes.  She didn’t balk but said, is there a school with a parking lot nearby. 

These are people with custom built yachts.  People who buy 10 million dollar beach front homes, and tear them down to build 20 million dollar beach front homes.  People who have their assistants call me to see if I know anyone who will be the family’s private chef for the summer. 

These are people who own 5 million dollar homes that sit empty all year, except for the two weeks they summer in my small town.   These are people with multiple, homes around the world that they speak of. 

But here’s the thing.

Very.  And I mean, very few of them tip more than 20% and for the most part for all of them 20% is generous.  They often don’t tip on the wine. 

Meanwhile, as I told a server tonight, who got 18% from one of these families, Adam and I go out to a restaurant, order all the things, including drinks and a bottle of wine and when the check comes we throw down 25, 30, 35% like we are the fucking Rockefellers. 

We do it every time we eat out.  Every time. 

We also hardly ever have bad service, and we never modify a dish on the menu.  The most outlandish thing we ask for is sides of mayo, or extra aioli. 

Meanwhile, the real Rockefellers are over here using their calculator to calculate 15% to the penny. 

My staff is very lucky, that although the very wealthy eat at my restaurant, MOST of the customers are me and Adam, out for a good experience who throw much more than 20% at them. 

But it does make me wonder if it’s not avocado toast we should be giving up to become rich but instead we should just tip 15% on our black American Express Cards.  (PS).  The whole time I was waiting tables, I never received 20% from a black Amex customer). 

Tonight was quiet at the restaurant.  Very quiet considering the numbers we did every other day this week. 

What’s funny is a year ago the numbers we did today would have been a normal Saturday night. 

It’s was so quiet that I cut a host around 7:30. 

And all was good until around 8:00 when the host receives a phone call asking to speak to the manager. 

This is never good. 

Also, I never take phone calls.  Usually, I’m just too busy. 

I’m standing there when the host answers the phone.  She asks all the questions.  Can I get your name and number? Can he return the call?  What’s it regarding?  Yes.  I’ll tell him. 

I’m told she’s calling about issues she had. 

We are slow. 

I look her up. 

I call her back.

And soon as she answers I know why she’s calling. 

Early in the evening a server had come to me to tell me that his table had not been pleased with their meal.  I knew the table as I returned a filet to them that had been undercooked. 

I also made sure to walk by again, and when I did both plates were empty. 

The server lets me know that she is saying that the food is not as good as it was the last time they were here.  I never know what to say to this.  The quality and execution of our menu has only gotten better the year that I’ve been here. 

I tell him, that I don’t understand as the plates are empty.  He says they are taking the steaks with them.

Uh?   Okay.  Then they aren’t that bad if they are taking them to go. 

He explains that he just wants to make sure I know.

20 minutes later he comes to find me to let me know that she was VERY upset that I didn’t discount the check because she was displeased with her steaks.    

Uh!  But she’s taking the steaks with her.  You don’t get pants you don’t like at Macy’s and get a discount just because you don’t like them. 

It’s this lady who is calling. 

She starts by letting me know she has been a guest at my restaurant every year since we opened.  And that she has loved it every time.  But that this year, she was very disappointed that the food was not as good and that the manager did not discount the check because they were unhappy. 

I listen, trying to be patient. 

I say to her that I’m sorry they were unhappy, but they took the steaks with them and therefore I didn’t feel they should be discounted.

She says, what was I supposed to do?  Just send it back and not eat?

No.  You send it back and let us cook you something else.

She then goes on to say that the taste of the filet was just not as good as last year. 

I listen.

And that her husband’s ribeye was full of fat. 

I listen. 

I explain that we’ve served filets all night from the same slab of meat and no one has complained.  I explain that she asked for the steak to be medium and perhaps it would have had more flavor it if cooked medium-rare as the chef suggests.  I also explain that a ribeye is supposed to be fatty.  That’s why people order it.  Because of the marbling and fat content.  Yes it’s fatty but it’s fucking delicious.  I don’t say fucking.

She continues. 

I listen.

She finally says, “So.  What are you going to do for me?”

I ask for clarification.

She says, “what are you going to do for me?’

At this point, I have to tell her NOTHING.  You ordered a steak.  You ate part of the steak.  You took the rest of the steak with you.  I’m doing nothing.

She then says that she’s not coming back.

I say, I’m sorry to hear that.

She then says she’s going to leave a bad review on Open Table.

I tell her that that would be fine with us, as we don’t use Open Table. 

She then threatens me with bad reviews on Social Media.

And I say…

And I quote…

Uh.  Mam, I’m going to tell you what I say every time this is said to me.  I will not be held hostage by the threat of a bad review.  You do as you must, but I’m not changing my position.  You ordered a steak.  You got a steak.  You took the steak home with you.  Giving you a discount is not how any of this works. 

There was silence. 

And then she hung up. 

No reviews yet. 

Here’s the thing.  We butcher all of our meat.  If we had a bad batch of filets everyone else would say the same thing.  It was slow tonight.  We still served 36 filets.  My guess is seriously, someone else would have complained.

They did not. 

So, I have to think this was her looking for a discount. 

This is okay.  But she should stick with chain restaurants.