I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was on the door tonight. 

I’m very short hosts. 

Anybody need a job?

I don’t mind being on the door, I love, love, love being the face of the restaurant.

However, it is hard to keep tabs on what’s going on in the restaurant when I’m stuck at the door.

Tonight was mostly smooth.   A couple of re-cooks, a couple of complaints that it was cold in the dining room, and 4 tables that showed up with more people than they were supposed to have. 

I love, that people reserve for 2 people because it’s available, then show up with 4 people because… I’m too tired to think of something funny.  This happened tonight. 

However, the excitement came a little after 5:00.

A man approaches me and says he’s with the crew that has been hired to record the performance tonight.  He follows this with a request to bring his equipment in thru the kitchen. 

Uh.  Huh? 

I told him we didn’t have any performers scheduled for the night.

He assures me that he just got off the phone with the person who is coming to perform and he’s there to record it. 

I assure him there is nothing scheduled.

He looks at his phone.

Then says, yes.  His friend has been hired to portray the grim reaper for a 50^th birthday party.  I assure him that that it NOT going to happen as we are NOT that restaurant.

He leaves. 

5 minutes later the reservation shows up.  They are carrying a cake. 

The woman who seems to be in charge pulls the other host aside to chat with her, that host, comes to me and says, you’ll need to handle this one. 

I turn the corner and the woman says, about 15 minutes after we are seated a mariachi band will be arriving to perform and eventually sing happy birthday to the guest of honor.

I assure her this will NOT be happening as we are NOT that restaurant.  And then I say, there was a man here who arrived to record the grim reaper who had been hired to come meet with the guest of honor. 

The woman says, oh no.  That can’t happen, I have children.

I say, yes, you are right, that can’t happen either.

She looks at her husband and basically says, abort, abort, abort. 

He goes out. 

Comes back a few minutes later and says you were right.  They scheduled the grim reaper. 

The party is finally seated.

About 15 minutes later, a food runner approaches to say, Chef wants to know where the table you just sat is going.  They all just left. 

UGH. 

I send for the server.

She arrives and says they are currently on the patio which is closed.

I close my eyes and decide I won’t get involved.

A few minutes later a server appears to say there is a ventriloquist at a table on the patio and wants to know what the hell is going on. 

I never got involved after they were seated.