I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This happened last night while I was on the door.

A male/female couple enter looking for a table. 

I say male/female because I realize I use the word couple all of the time and only clarify the sex if they are NOT straight.  Hmmm????

A straight couple walk in. 

The woman approaches and asks if I have room for two. 

I tell her to give me a second and I will see what I can do. 

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating.  And I say this to guests when they are staring at me. 

If you stare at me, while I’m working my brain ceases to work.  I can never find a place for you to sit if you stare at me.  I always say it’s like The Queens Gambit when she’s staring at the ceiling and the pieces are moving.  If you give me a second I’ll see the opening I need.  I’ll almost always find a way to make it work.  It’s never in my best interest to say no, butts in seats means more revenue for the night.

So I say to the woman give me a second and she says, what if I just stand here and bat my eyes at you.  Will that find me a table?

Without even thinking, I said probably not, but if you send your husband over to bat his eyes at me that might work. 

She laughed, and said he is kind of cute isn’t he.  (He was about my age, and fine, but not hot enough anymore to bat his eyes and get anything). 

She then says, I don’t think he can be bought, and then he pipes up and says, that might not be true, for enough money, he might be persuaded and I said, well I have 100 bucks in my pocket.

We all laughed and laughed.  And then the other host led them to a table. 

I still have my hundred bucks.