I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight a man about my age walks in holding a plastic cup.

I say, I’ll need to take the cup from you.

He steps back and gulps it.

I look at him.

He looks at me. 

I look at him and I say, if you do anything out of sorts again I’ll ask you to leave.

He looks at me like I’m crazy.

I say again, if you do something like that again, you won’t get served.

What do you mean?

I say, it’s against the law for you to have an open container in public.  It’s against the law for you to bring an open container into an establishment that serves alcohol.  It’s against the law, and you know it.  I’m not going to risk my liquor license because you need to drink half an ounce of wine.  And don’t tell me you didn’t know, every person in the country knows you can’t walk around with liquor in a cup. 

He became very demur, apologized and said he was sorry.

He acted like the 26 year old from the wedding. 

Who does that?

It also reminds me of the people who are told it will be just a couple of minutes before they can get seated who look at me and say, well can we go outside and get a drink.

Lady.  It’s a couple of minutes.

Before you got to the outside bar you’d be on your way to your table. 

This happens 30 times a day.

And trust me, at someone point in a moment of weakness I’m going to say to someone, you don’t need a drink, you need a meeting.  I can look up one online  while you dine and I can even make sure you get there after your meal tonight, because if you can’t go 4 minutes without a drink, I’m not sure a drink is what you need. 

PS.  A couple left without having dinner tonight because we didn’t serve Coor’s Light. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was in phone call hell again today.  I don’t remember how many calls there were when I got there. 

There were a LOT!!!

I listened to the messages.  Or I tried. The phone kept ringing and it stops the machine from replaying the messages.  It took forever to get them all recorded in my notebook. 

The first thing of note is the number of multiple messages. 

Trust the system. 

This is my new mantra. 

Leave a message and let me call you back.  Especially when we are closed on the day you call. 

Please, don’t keep calling. 

Some asshole from NYC kept calling today.  Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over.  I never answered his call.  Finally I wrote down his number and told my host not to answer his call. 

Fun fact, if he’d just left a message he could have had dinner with us.

Tonight at pre-shift I mentioned that my calling ability was made difficult by the asshole from NYC, and a server came up to say it might have been her friend who really wanted to eat with us tonight.  I assured her had he just left a message he’d have been fine. 

I can understand people calling more than once who want to eat with us on the same day, but seriously, leave a message.

Trust the system.   

Tonight the phone rang over and over and over.  Finally around 9:00 the caller left a message. 

Tonight I recorded all the messages in my notebook so that there’d be less tomorrow.  There were 21 tonight. 

The person who kept calling tonight was a girl looking for a reservation on August 18^th? 

August fucking 18th

Why the desperation?  Why the need to call over and over and over and over and over?

Also fun fact:

Leaving a message saying you’d like a reservation for tomorrow at 6:30 for 6 people is not a reservation. 

You need to connect with me before it’s real.

Two times tonight someone walked in and said, I left a message so I assumed I had a reservation. 

I was able to get them in, but NO, you don’t have a reservation until you get a confirmation text or email from the system. 

Also.

Don’t get frustrated with me when you made the reservation for the wrong day.

2 times tonight someone came in insisting they had a reservation.

And 2 times I did a search and discovered that the reservation was in fact for next Wednesday. 

Please, for the love of god don’t get angry with me.  I’ll do my best, which is what I did today and got them in, but I didn’t trick you into booking the wrong date.

And my favorite reservation mishap today. 

A couple comes in at 5:00 for a bar reservation.

Only I don’t have it. 

They insist their names are Jim and Brenda Smith.  I have no reservation at all under that name.

I take their phone number.

No reservation anywhere, ever in my system for that number. 

They explain that the concierge at their hotel made the reservation, and that it should be there.  I assure them that it is not. 

I try everything to find it.

I eventually say, let’s just get you seated and not worry about it.

So they are seated. 

I continue to look for the reservation, to no avail.

They eat and they leave.  I ask them if by chance their name was George as I had a reservation made by someone at their hotel collection with the name George who was a no show. 

They assure me it’s not. 

By this time I’ve no showed George. 

I thank them for coming in, I say I’m sorry there was a mistake on the hotel’s part for their reservation, but say I’m glad they were able to enjoy themselves. 

At this point I know they aren’t George.  So I charge George $50 bucks for the no show.

And what would you know the hotel calls around 8:30 because the company credit card was charged $50  They assure the host who answered it was our mistake, and that the hotel made the reservation under the name Angela. 

I can’t wait to call back tomorrow and explain that Angela is NOT George and that I can’t know what they meant to do when they made a reservation in the wrong name.  Also they’ve been doing this for two years now, get their phone number, name and credit card.  It’s not hard. 

Trust the system.