I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

A first tonight.

My host comes to me and says she found thin on the couch while straightening the pillows.

Wow.

Just say no.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Two things I’ve discovered in the past week.

First I have no more fucks to give.

What does that mean?

We have amazing guests.  We have people who eat at our restaurant once a week, twice a week, three times a week.

They are wonderful, understanding and kind.

They are the people who pay our bills. 

Then we have people I call one and done. 

They are from North Dakota.  They come here on vacation.  They eat here once, because the owner of their air bnb told them to. 

But here’s the deal. 

They are the people who wouldn’t be pleased if we were a 5-star Michelin restaurant.  They can’t be pleased.  They want dinner for free.

They are the people who make our lives difficult. 

And I have no fucks to give these people.

So you don’t get to yell at me when you forget your credit card.  You don’t get to yell at me when I say you can’t bring your wine into the restaurant.  You don’t get to beat me up.  

PERIOD!!!

We are going to focus on pleasing the 99% of people who are awesome and you can go back to South Dakota and tell people how horrible we were and it doesn’t matter because none of them are coming to Maine anyway.

Meanwhile, I continue to have a million calls every day. 

I no longer listen to the messages. 

I listen long enough to get the name and number.

After that I don’t care. 

I don’t care that you eat here once a year.  I don’t care that you live on Marshall Point Road.  I don’t care that your grandmother is turning 86. I don’t care that you are friends with the barista at the coffee shop, where you mechanic gets his muffin. 

Name. 

Number.

I have to ask you about all the other information when I call anyway. 

Two.  New.  Things. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

On my way home at night I often chat with friends. 

Last night was my AGM from my first GM job.  Tonight was my AGM from two jobs ago.  Both conversations were similar.  We were commiserating on the challenges of being in the hospitality business right now.  Challenges with staffing, co-workers and grumpy guests. 

Last night’s conversation turned to a conversation she had had with her current boss and she says to me, I was able to say the things I needed to  say to him because when I was young and green you taught me to fend for myself.  She then goes on to embarrass with compliments she was giving me on our time together. 

The truth is, she was my employee, then my AGM, then my friend.  And she taught me far more than she will ever know, but it felt nice to have someone tell me that I helped them in their growth.

Tonight, on the way home I am chatting and I tell my old AGM that she needs a mentor, someone who can help her with the difficult times and she says, I did have that but you moved on. 

Once again, I was overcome with embarrassment as she complimented me on the things that I had taught her as a manager, AGM and friend.  As I said about the first night’s compliment she will never know all the things she taught me. 

The one lesson, I taught both of them, and I’ve taught many people is to know your role. 

I’ve told the following story so many times I should get paid for it. 

Years ago, I taught lighting design at a performing arts high school.  It was a dream job and I loved everything about it.  For those of my friends in theater education, the system was set up so that I not only got paid for teaching, but every single design I created was considered above and beyond and I received additional pay.  30 years ago, it was a great salary. 

I had amazing students and they have far surpassed anything I thought they might do.  They are working across the country in theaters from Broadway to Vegas. 

However, in my tenure there, I had a student say to me one day that he was annoyed that all I did was stand around telling other people what to do.  He was implying I was too lazy to pull out a wrench and hang a light myself. 

I don’t remember my response the first time this was said to me, but it became a conversation I had with this student many times. 

He wasn’t wrong.  I did just stand around telling people what to do.  But it was not because I was lazy, but how do you explain that to a 15 year old.

So after the 12,656 time I told him that I was going to let him run the crew next time we had a load in. 

Fast forward and we are loading in a show at a union theater.  The great thing about the school that I worked at was they had an agreement with the local IATSE union, that for every union worker we hired, we had a student attached to them.  This way, the union was protected, but our students got to learn with the best of the best. 

So I turned the show over to my student. 

We arrive at 8:00, as all load-ins start at 8:00.  I give the plans to the student and tell him to go for it.  I have my wrench attached to my belt and I’m ready to hang lights for the morning. 

And off we go. 

All is well for about 30 minutes.  I’m hanging my electric but I look around and there members of the electric team waiting for direction.  Both students and union members.

I go back to work.  Around 9:00, there are still people waiting for direction but hey I’m just a grunt and I go back to work, all the while with one eye of the crew and the student who was in charge.  

Around 9:30, I approach the student and ask if everything is okay.  I can tell he’s struggling but is too proud to say so.  I explain that I am here to just hang lights but there are three guys standing over there who are making a lot of money an hour and for the last 90 minutes they haven’t done anything.

He finally admits that he doesn’t know what to do next and that clearly it’s a lot harder to keep things moving than he thought and that he finally understood that I was not just standing around. 

I gave him my wrench and we traded places. 

I took over just telling people what to do. 

My first AGM I found on a ladder loading wine into storage and I asked her what she was doing.  She said she was stocking wine.  And I said, if you are doing that, why are we paying the three people over there who are watching you stock wine?

My last AGM and I had a phone call a week ago and she was saying she was too busy running food and bussing tables to get some tasks done and I shared my lighting story with her.

The moral of the story is that a GM is a big picture person.  You have to see everything, and if you are focusing on the little picture, then the picture gets fuzzy. 

I am not too good to bus a table.  I am not too good to run drinks.  I’m not too good to run food.  But 99% of the time, I have three people standing around waiting for direction who can do the task at hand allowing me to move on to find the next task at hand. 

It makes me proud that both of these AGM friends are doing so well in their careers, as are my lighting friends. 

Now, hang three source fours on that batten and bus table 21 and can you run get ice for the bar. 

And thank you for filling my water cup. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

We, and by we, I mean our staff, killed it tonight.  We broke all the records by a lot.   We fed more people than we ever thought possible, and we hit a revenue record that was not forecast for us, for the next three years. 

The best part of these facts though is that the evening was one of the smoothest ever. 

Food was spot on, only a couple of re-cooks.  Servers weren’t running around like crazy.  And the food running team and expo were better than I’ve ever seen them.  They thought we were slow tonight. 

Kudos, kudos, kudos to the whole staff.

I also had several people seek me out at the end of their meals to let me know how wonderful their experience was.  Most of them I knew, but one particular man sought me out on the patio after finishing his dinner inside.  I recognized him as having eaten here before, but I don’t know his name and we’ve only spoken briefly before. 

He came up to me, and complimented us on the beauty of our patio.  He continued saying that he and his family have been coming to the restaurant since it opened almost 4 years ago and he wanted me to know that the changes that I had brought to the restaurant, were much noticed and a great improvement.  Not that anything was bad before but that things had definitely improved since I became GM.  It felt nice to be recognized. 

I should add that I was on the patio because my host has said  to me, have you looked at the weather?  

FUCK YOU!  NO!  IT’S NOT GOING TO RAIN!

But of course I pull out my phone and what do I see a severe thunderstorm warning alert.  I look at the radar.  It’s now about 6:50 and according to the radar we have about 30 minutes to formulate a plan. 

Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck.

We still have the entire second turn to seat and the place is packed. 

However, one should not panic in these moments and so I planted myself on the patio and formulated a plan.

First, it’s at the end of the first turn and the second turn doesn’t start till 7:00.  So I stop seating.  I tell everyone who approaches that we won’t be seating anyone else until we have the all clear that it’s not going to rain.  However, if it does rain it’s going to be quick and furious, meaning we’ll dry everything and seat people as soon as we can.  You might have to wait but we’ll make sure you have an awesome time in the end.  I also have the patio host clear all the clean tables so it won’t be a rush to do so, if it rains. 

Meanwhile, I have about 8 tables in the middle of their meals. 

All but two are eating their entrees.  I tell their servers to let them know that they should keep things moving as we are expecting storms.  The two tables that are waiting on food, I approach and point out the tables they are to move to should it rain.  The tables on dessert, I suggest that they get their desserts to go and enjoy them in their cars or at home. 

The night continues. 

It grows dark. 

According to the radar the line is moving toward us.  And it keeps coming.  And it keeps coming.  And as it moves closer, it moves north.  Around 7:45 it becomes apparent that there is not going to be any rain. 

Meanwhile, I have about 25 people waiting to be seated, all late for their reservations.  They have gotten drinks from the patio bartenders and none of them are upset at all. 

We get the tables reset and I seat people in the order they arrived. 

And by 7:45 everyone is seated and we are moving on with our night. 

It screwed the momentum and flat seating everyone bogged them down but they all got through it. 

And at 10:00 tonight I sat down at the chef’s table and opened my laptop and looked at revenue and all was good in the world.