A message from a friend of mine tonight.

He wrote:

I love your posts. Best part of staying up late is I often get to read them before I go to bed. I have never worked in a restaurant — but I am a frequent diner.  I’m astounded at the rudeness of some of the people you describe. And you have modified one of my bad behaviors. I have been that multiple-caller-no-message guy before. I’m a bit obsessive-compulsive that way but it never occurred to me that there might be a record of me doing that. OMG. My embarrassment now outweighs my obsessive-compulsiveness.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Some fun reviews we’ve gotten in the past three days:

We showed up an hour early and were seated.  But the bartender rushed us to order and leave. 

            The showed up at 5:00 for a 6:00 reservation.  They were in an out because they were 2 people and at 5:00 everything is fast.  Come at 6:00 and relax next time.

Our only complaint and we think it’s important is that the portions were too large and we are on vacation and couldn’t take home left overs. 

            I would have thought it wasn’t a big deal, but they gave us an 85% rating. 

The prices are expensive; especially considering no side comes with your entrée. 

            I’m pretty sure she was reviewing a steak house in Boston.  Every entrée we serve comes with a side.  Some of them come with 2 sides.  Chef prides himself on not being ala carte. 

We knew the focus of the restaurant in advance but the focus on large portions of pricey beef narrows the guest’s options.  80%

          Would you go to Ford and complain about the lack of Toyotas on the lot?  Would you go to a sushi restaurant and complain that there were no cheeseburgers on the menu?  Would you go to Victoria Secrets and complain that there were no underwear for men?  Would you go to a pet store and get mad that there are no feed for your cattle?  Would you go to a veterinarian and be mad that they won’t see your 9 month old child?  Would you go to a garden center and be mad that they don’t sell swimming pools.  This one was seriously weird as shit. 

My husband was not pleased with his choice. He said his chicken was too much work as he does not eat skin and it was a bit difficult to cut into bite size piece.

          Yes, having to cut your meat into small pieces is hard.  I suggest baby food.  It would suit you well.

Meanwhile, now word from Mr. Kray Kray on Monday. 

But.

One of the bartenders had two guests who did the same routine with her tonight. 

I was able to finally figure out what he was doing. 

The man on Monday and the two guests tonight, were trying to engage in a fight, without starting it themselves.  All of them asked pointed questions trying to get a rise out of us.  This included snide comments that never quite crossed the line. 

Meanwhile, on Monday I didn’t engager.  And tonight, the bartender didn’t engage. 

That is all. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

My boyfriend gave me the sweetest compliment today as we drove home. 

We were talking and out of nowhere he shared that he was disappointed when the alarm went off this morning, and he was looking at social media while I slept and there was no I’d like to Speak to the Manager!!! post. 

I don’t usually post on my day off, not for lack of subjects, but I try not to do any restaurant work and sometimes reliving the days is work. 

He also, hardly ever mentions my posts.  I know he sees them as he likes them on Facebook, but he does not comment and he hardly mentions them to me, except to say occasionally, you might want to correct your grammar, or are you sure you want to post that. 

In truth there has only been one post I’ve removed after the fact and he was right that it shouldn’t be made public. 

But it felt nice to know that he looks forward to my writing and my posts. 

It made me smile. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Adam and I went on a mini (key word mini) vacation yesterday. 28 hours from the time we left till the time we were home.

We went to western Mass to see a musical.

We had dinner before the show. It was a 7:00 curtain so we ate way earlier than we like to eat. We wanted to make sure we had time to walk to Ben and Jerry’s AND have a drink at the bar next to the theater before the show, so our reservation was at 4:00.

The restaurant opened at 4:00. We were seated at 4:03.

From the moment we were seated, until the time we left the experience was less than stellar.

The table was next to the bathrooms and wait station even though we were the only table in the restaurant for the next 30 minutes. We spent the first hour of our meal, watching the servers, eat lunch, roll silver and play with their phones.

The server we had left a lot to be desired. And that’s being kind. I will say he got our food right, and he coursed it appropriately but that’s where the service kind of ended.

I would really like to send the restaurant a case of salt as nothing was seasoned. And I do mean nothing. I’m not a salter, but boy did I go through half the shaker.

We did not stay for dessert mostly because we were getting ice cream, but we didn’t even let them tempt us.

The meal was not cheap. With tip it was over $200.

It was seriously, the worst service experience we’ve had since we were in Vegas in 2014. That’s worth a post in and of itself.

Here’s the thing.

We didn’t complain. We didn’t demand anyone be fired. We didn’t send our food back. We didn’t leave a bad review. When I checked in at the restaurant on social media half way through the meal I said nothing negative.

We both agreed that there would be no point in it.

The server is the server. He did nothing egregious but service is definitely not his life. I’m also guessing that it’s just has hard to hire in the Berkshires as it is on the coast. You hire who walks through the door, and sometimes they are not the right person.

The food is the food. There was nothing exactly wrong with it, we just have a more sophisticated palette. Their palette might suit their demographic better than ours.

The table was the table. Everyone, including me has a bad table. Someone has to sit there.

The point is there was no reason to make everyone uncomfortable. And we don’t live there. It might be two more years before we go back. I don’t need to make sure the restaurant goes out of business in the meantime.

So we ate, we tipped, we left.

And then we got ice cream.

And then we got booze. Where the service was worse.

And then we saw a play, and for the first time in my life we understand what the lyrics to Send in the Clowns actually mean.

And it was nice to get away for the night.

And today, I shared with my staff all the things that we disliked about our service, our meal and our table and explained that this is why I give such silly specific notes. It might not seem like a big deal, but to some it is. And if we can cross our t’s and dot our i’s then there will be far less to complain about.

And let me repeat, we didn’t insist anyone be fired. Not even the general manager, who was seated at the bar, drinking a glass of wine, working on something, even though the bar was full and I’m sure the bartenders would have liked that stool back.

No one, needed to be fired.

Except the lighting and set designer of the show we saw. They needed to be fired.

And PS. If the New York Times comments that when you bring in clothes that are supposed to be wet and aren’t, you take the note and make the clothes wet when you bring them in.