I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

The patriarchy is alive and well and living in the restaurant business.

I’ve known this since before I was born.

It plays out often in my current restaurant. Tonight was such a night.

I can’t speak to if it’s true once a person gets seated, but it is absofuckinglutely true at the host stand.

First, if I’m at the host stand helping, I’m the one who is addressed.

Always.

Regardless of whether I speak first, I am at the I-pad, or if I’m across the room.

Often if a guest is getting snippy with the 19 year old female host, their entire demeanor changes when I come around the corner and ask if I can help.

Our female hosts inside, get yelled at often because of a lack of parking, meanwhile, our 6’6”male host who works on the patio gets nothing but politeness, when people are trying to find parking.

I could go on. It’s all day. Everyday. And it pisses me off.

I can say, the cruelty directed at the hosts stopped when I started. Olivia, who worked with us last summer has commented on that saying that she has been yelled at less this summer. It also helps that the rules are followed by everyone now. No one gets special treatment.

About a week before I started last year, an older man called two hosts stupid bitches. They got chef and he came out and explained to the guy that he would not be seated until he apologized. He did. When I was told this last summer, I knew that he’d have my back when I stop that kind of behavior.

Meanwhile friends.

Check yourselves.

Do you address the man when a woman is clearly in charge?

Do you treat the 19 year old girl differently than the 57 year old man?

Do you act aggressively toward women when you’d never do that to a man?

Are you generally an asshole when there is no need to be…especially when you are interacting with a woman.

If so, take a deep breath and say to yourself, I am the problem here.

And fix it.