I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

When I started at my job, the front of house was the wild, wild, west.  

They had not had real structure in months.  

The person who’d been hired to be general manager, had quit unexpectedly.  This left Chef to do his job, my job, plus cook, and pay the bills, hire, and manager the whole team.  

I know how he is when he’s tired.  I can’t imagine what it was like before I started.  

My first day was on Wednesday, June 23.  

The first words out of his mouth to the staff was, “this is Jeff, go to him with your problems.”  

And it was true.  12 minutes into my first shift, I get called over to deal with a steak that had been sent back.  

Not his problem.  

Go ask Jeff was his mantra for the first several months.  

The staff now knows when to come to me.  

It wasn’t just the staff who’d needed structure.

The guests had had no structure either.  

In the first three days of being there, I pissed off everyone.  

I know you are a regular, I know that you know where your seats are at the bar, but I still need you to check in with me.  

I pissed off so many people. 

At the same time, though, I was creating stability.  I’m not sure the staff would have believed that then and I know the guests didn’t, but I was trying.  

Slowly things began to change.  The staff started to trust me.  All except a couple of people, who continued to push back and they ended up having a meeting with me in G-4.  That’s where I sit with people who are about to find out they are looking for new jobs. 

The guests were a little trickier.  I had only ever worked in one restaurant that took reservations and it was a very short stint.  I had a lot to learn.  A LOT to learn.  

It’s funny, about three minutes after I started on one of my first days a man walked in and started to head to the bar.  I stopped him and asked if he had a reservation.  He said no and started to walk on in.  I stopped him and explained that we had no room at the bar.

He looks at me and say, “you’re the guy that used to work at the restaurant across town.  I was going to spend a lot of money here but I guess I’m not now.”  He’s never been back.  

Piss people off I did, but we also came to an understanding.

And now going on 15 months later, for the most part our guests love me.  I know who the regulars are.  I know how to work magic and get people in.  

I know how to make people happy.  

We were busy tonight.  I stopped taking reservations at 3:00. 

We didn’t answer the phone tonight.  

And we managed to get in, every regular that showed up without a reservation tonight.  

All of them.  

And they were all so appreciative.  So grateful. 

I was on the patio tonight and a man comes up to me and says, “is this your restaurant?”  

I explain that I don’t own the restaurant but I am the general manager.

He says, “you should be very proud of what you’ve accomplished here.  I’ve worked in the business consulting on restaurants for years, opening too many to count and what you have here is magical.”  

I always say thank you.  But I also say, that it’s not really me.  It’s the chef and the team that do all the work.  I just make sure people show up to do the work and they do and they do it well and they make my job easy.”

He wouldn’t hear of it though.  He said, “you may say that, but I have seen good and I’ve seen great and this is great.  And a lot of that is on you.”  

We talked for about 6 or 7 minutes until someone came to say Chef needed me.  

Last night I was talking to 2 real regulars who stopped me to say hello.  One of them thanked me for getting them in and then told me they really appreciated the changes I had made.  They could see a difference in the reservations, in the ability to get in, the ability to get a phone call returned and a huge difference in the service.  As always, I explained that it had very little to do with me but I thanked them for the compliment.  

I am telling this story, because sometimes I forget and get beaten down by the day-to-day operations and forget that I’m pretty good at my job.  I always say that I’ll never be the best general manager, but I’m sure as fuck not the worst.  

I am very aware of my limitations.  I’m very aware of the things that I struggle with.  I’m very aware of the things that I wish I was better at.  

But I also know what I’m good at.  

I’ll finish by saying that this week we had a 9 top reservation.  It was a surprise 30^th birthday celebration.  I worked with the woman hosting the event over the course of the last month.  The event was for her son.  

When we reserve a table for more than 8 people, we use a special pre-fixe menu.  I have to send all the information, along with pricing, and availability.  There were a ton of emails back and forth as we planned the event.  Even day of, as a few of the people had tested positive for COVID and couldn’t come forcing their numbers to change.  

The day of the dinner, we get everyone seated a head of the guest of honor.  The son arrives thinking they have dinner reservations for 2.  

Here’s the catch.

I knew the birthday boy.  He worked for me in 2013 has a server.  He had just finished college and was embarking on his future.  He was not the best server, but what he lacked in skill he made up for in being a genuinely nice person.  He is still one of my favorite employees.  

When he arrived, he gave me a big hug.  I exclaimed that it was nice to see him, pretending that I had no idea he was coming in.  I picked up two menus and led them through the dining room.

The area where they were seated has a row of two tops against the wall, and 4 tables of 10 in private rooms.  I get them there and say you can take a pick of the two tops.  He starts to sit down and I say, I actually think you’d like this one better.  I lead him to  one of the large rooms and everyone yells surprise and he tears up and gets emotional. 

He joins his friends and eats dinner.  

At the end of the meal, I make point of saying goodbye.  He is about to leave and gives me a big hug and thanks me for everything.  His mom gives me a bigger hug and thanks me even more. 

We stand and chat for about 15 minutes.  

And at one point, we are chatting about his time as an employee and I say that I have changed a great deal in the 9 years since he worked for me, and that I’m a much better manager.  He looks at me and says, I thought you were a great manager then.  And I appreciate all that you taught me that summer.  

I hugged him again.  And he went on his way.  

A lot of people who will read this post worked for me moons ago.  

Back in 1902, I was faking it till I made it.  

I appreciate their patience.  I appreciate their kindness.  I appreciate what they taught me.  

I have changed.  Mostly for the better.  

But sometime I have to remind myself that even when I’m struggling, I’m pretty good at my job.

And I’ll never be the worst fucking manager!!!

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

The night was smooth.

Mostly.

Considering it was one of the top 10 busiest nights this season, I’ll take it.

We open the doors at 4:45 today.

A little earlier than usual, but people had been waiting since 4:30 to get in.

Also, we were seating a ridiculously large amount of people in the first 45 minutes. Maybe the most we’d seated at 5:00 all summer.

The earlier we start the smoother it goes.

By the time 5:00 rolled around we had already seated 3/4 of people. We slow down as we seat so that servers who have multiple 5:00 reservations, don’t get crushed.

This happened tonight. A server got a 4-top, and a 2-top and had another 2-top scheduled in her section. It’s 5:01. She needs to breath. She’s also in a section with booths and those seats are highly coveted.

Each booth seats 4 people and we often don’t seat couples there because we need the tables of 4. However, tonight there are deuces abounding. So there is one last 2-top to seat in the 5:00 seating at a booth.

It’s now 5:02. The man, who is supposed to go to the booth is getting antsy. Grumbling. Loud enough for us to hear, but not loud enough for me to say anything.

It’s now 5:06. And a 10 top walks in. They are taken straight in.

It’s their server’s first table and he has an 8-top not long behind them.

As soon as the 10-top goes in the man waiting marches up to the desk demanding to know why we sat them first. He says he doesn’t understand why he came early if he has to wait. It’s 5:07 at this point.

I am at the host stand and I say, because they are a 10 top and you are a 2-top and they are in a different section.

He grumbles about making sure he never comes back with just he and his wife. He’ll bring 8 friends next time.

There are currently about 8 or so people waiting to be seated in the lobby.

He continues to grumble.

Fun fact.

I don’t reward bad behavior.

This man was slated to go to a booth. Instead, I gave him a 2-top in a long row of 2-tops.

I sat the couple that was supposed to go the 2-top first in the booth and then sat him last at the 2-top.

He was seated at 5:10. Barely 10 minutes late.

The hosts said he was quite lovely when he left, suggesting that he was just hangry.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Server edition!!!

Have I mentioned lately that I love my job.  I actually enjoy going to work and making money.  I enjoy the energy of the place.  The pace, the excitement, the fun of waiting tables.  It’s sometimes unfortunate that I like my job so much because it’s not forcing me to find more theatre work, but that’s not even the issue right now.

On that note, I had a very interesting night.  For two reasons.  One is kind of interesting in a good light, the other is kind of interesting and appalling in another light.

I’ll tell the good story first.  I’ll also let you know that both the couples I’m about to discuss were sitting next to each other at my counter at exactly the same time.  It really demonstrates a lot about the people I deal with.

Couple number one was a young attractive couple.  American.  Very nice, nothing that would have made me even take notice of them except for the couple they were sitting next to.  When the evil couple I will talk about later left, my nice young couple wanted the whole story about what was going on, since they only started paying attention when the evil couple began screaming at the manager.  And I told them the story.  And they too were appalled.  And we laughed over it.  And somehow in the course of the conversation I discovered that they were locals.  And the first question I ask any locals is why the fuck are you eating here.  And they replied that they wanted nachos and they thought they could get them here.  And what do you know.  We had nachos.

And the conversation continued.  My question was followed by their question of why the fuck do you work at this restaurant.  And I gave my stock answer.  It’s busy.  It’s busy.  It’s busy.  And I’ll never run into any of my friends here, and no one minds if I take off to go do other work.  And I told them that I was a lighting designer for theatre and opera.  I told them that I designed around the country and had just returned from doing three shows in Oklahoma.    I then told them that I had just gotten an email asking about doing two operas in the midwest next spring.  And they asked me if I’d ever heard of the Des Moines Opera Company.  And I told them that I had.  And I asked them if they were from Iowa.  And they said that they were.

And here’s the fun part.  I asked them if they were familiar with the little school that I taught at in Spring 07.  Not only had they heard of it, the girl had gone there.  And then we started playing the do you know game.  And she was amazed that I knew all of these people she knew.  And then by chance she asked if I knew this guy named Mike who had just done an internship in the theatre department.  And then she was completely shocked to find out that not only did I know him, but that I had been his boss this summer while he worked for me in Oklahoma.  Turns out that they are best friends and that he’d told her all about me, the summer and the drama of the whole thing.

So here was this random meeting of two people who happen to be good friends of a friend of mine from Iowa.  And this just proves that the world is too small.

At this point you should get a beer or a shot of tequila because you’ll never believe the crap that I’m about to tell you.

Just before I sat the above couple in my section I sat a foreign couple.  I did my thing, dropped them off at their seats and then went on to check on everyone else.  And then I came back to the table, said hello, and asked them if they’d like something to drink.

I know I’ve said this before, but our drink menu does not have prices listed on it.  And as I’ve said before I’ve never gone in a restaurant that has prices listed on their drink menus.  I’m not sure why this, but it seems to be the rule not the exception.  And it’s impossible to know all the prices.  We have close to fifty drinks on our drink menu and I’m barely able to remember what’s in them, let alone how much they cost.  And I always explain this to people by explaining that I just push a button and the computer does the rest.  And that if they’d like to understand better what I’m talking about, they should let me have their cell phone and I’ll pull up some random persons name and see if they know the phone number.  And every single time the understand what I’m talking about.  If they speak English that is.

So I say hello and ask what I can get the couple to drink.  Their first comment is that there are no prices in the drink menu.  They seem to speak English fine although it’s clear that they are foreign.  I tell them about the prices, the range that they run from.  And then they ask how much a bottle of wine is.  I have worked at this restaurant for a year and in that time I’ve sold three bottle of wine.  We don’t sell many bottles of wine  and so there was no way in hell I was going to know the price.  So I explain that they start around 35.00 and go up to about 50.00.  And then they ask how much the glasses are.  I explain that they start around 8.50 and go up to about 12.00.  And then they ask which one is the cheapest.  You should never say this to your waiter.  It raises all kinds of red flags about who they are dealing with and what the rest of the meal is going to be like.

So I’ve told the couple all about the wines that I can and tell them that if they let me know specifically what wine they are talking about I can tell them the price.  And I go away.  And I do my thing and eventually make my way back to the couple to see if they are ready to order.  And they are.  They order two orders of grilled salmon.  I ask if they’d like wine and they say no, they’ll just get water.  And I go away put the order into the computer and go do my thing.  And I go and seat another table, check on yet another table, run some drinks to someone else and as I’m passing by the counter the man is turning around from the bar with two glasses of wine.

And this pisses me off.  And I tell him as much.  I explain that I’m their waiter and that if they need something, no matter what it is, they are to get it from me, not the bar.  I’m stern about this.  And the man begins to shout at me.  He’s screaming that I didn’t come back to answer his questions about the wine and that I wasn’t helpful because I didn’t know the prices and that it was his right to go to the bar to get his drinks.  And I respond by saying that’s fine, I’ll go get the manager.

And so I explain to the manager about what’s happened and then I explain that I WILL NOT BE YELLED AT, BY ANYONE.  And that the couple needs to be moved to another table.  So the manager goes to visit the couple and stops me a few minutes later to tell me that it was a misunderstanding and that it wouldn’t happen again.  By now I’m pissed, I know that I’m not going to get a tip from them, so I’ve decided they’ll get my most crappy service, which is still miles above what some of my co-workers give.

And so I’m running around waiting on my tables doing my thing, and then I’m called over by the evil couple and the man proceeds to say the following to me.

“I’m about to go get two more glasses of wine at the bar, do you need me to call your mommy?”

OH, NO HE DIDN’T!

I don’t even give him the pleasure of a response.  I leave the bar, go the office and tell the manager (a different one this time) that I’m done with them and that I’ll not wait on them any longer.  They are welcome to sit there but I will not offer them any service.  I’m told that if they say anything else disparaging to me, they’ll be asked to leave.  And so I for the most part ignore them.  And then when there was no way I could ignore them any more the asshole calls me over to tell me that he’d like a to go box for his meal.  And then points to the miniscule speck of salmon left on his plate and then begins to laugh.  Once again I walk away without any remarks, I go to the office and tell the manager that table 65 needs their check and that under no circumstances am I delivering it to them, or having any other interactions with them.  So I’m standing at the other end of the counter when Matt drops the check off.  And I see the couple waving their arms and shouting at him.  And he takes the money from them and walks away.  When he brings me the money he tells me that they were pissed off that I hadn’t brought the check to them.  I guess they wanted to see if they could annoy me any more than they had.

And all of this is witnessed by the fun couple sitting next to the evil couple.  And as soon as the spawns of satan left, they asked to see Matt so they could give their side of the story.

I’m still pissed as I type this.  I know I responded to the assholes just as I should have.  I didn’t provoke them.  I didn’t engage them.  I didn’t give them the pleasure of a response.  And I think the thing that pisses me off the most is that the managers didn’t do more to stop the situation.  In their defense though, each time I brought the situation to their attention it was a different manager.  So none of them were completely aware of what had happened before.

I argued with these people in my head all the way home.  Saying all the things that I wish I’d said in the moment.  And yet I said none of them.  And if I had to do over again, I would still say none of them.  I like my job and I won’t risk being fired by arguing with a customer and engaging in some sort of debate.  But there is a limit to what I’m willing to tolerate and this was too much.  These people were rude and out of line.  And they should have been asked to leave the restaurant.  And if such a thing were to happen again, I would be more diligent about getting the managers to at least move the assholes to a new table.

On his way out tonight one of the managers complimented me on my cool head.  He said if it were him, he would have punched the guy and then come to get the manager.  I told him the same thing I told the nice couple.  I don’t allow my mother to yell or raise her voice with me.  I’m sure as hell not going to allow if from some asshole stranger.  I don’t care how important they are, or how much money they have, or if it costs me my job.  I have limits and these people crossed them tonight.