I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This is a public service announcement.

One I think I’ve done before, but after 550+ posts, it’s hard to remember.

When you pay your check with a gift card that covers a portion of the check.  

YOU MUST TIP ON THE WHOLE CHECK, NOT THE REMNANTS OF THE CHECK AFTER THE GIFT CARD!!!

So, if you are paying attention.

The check is $248.  You have a $100 gift card.  That leaves a balance of $148.  The correct gratuity is:  ________________???

You are right.  

$50.  

It is NOT.  

$30.  

This practice can also be followed when paying part of a check with cash.

And fun fact:

The fact that you had a martini, half a bottle of wine and a Scotch neat does not excuse your math abilities.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I scheduled 9 interviews yesterday.

5 people showed up. Which is really not so bad a statistic.

My 3:00 is waiting on the sofa when I finish up my 2:30.

I say goodbye to him and introduce myself to her.

I take her into the dining room.

We get settled and I ask her to tell me about herself.

I always start my interviews this way.

What happens next is very telling.

It goes one of two ways.

Either they launch into their work history.

Or.

They begin telling me about themselves the person.

I like the latter. Your work history is on the resume I’m holding.

I am hiring a person. Not just the resume.

I’ve passed on many people who have the experience but not the personality.

I’ve hired personality without experience because most times that can be taught.

So I say, tell me about yourself.

She says that she is 15, in high school, and looking for a part time job. She continues, that she likes hanging out with her friends, going to concerts and playing tennis.

I ask her what kind of music she likes.

Without a beat, she says that she is really into Harry Styles these days. She really likes his music and that he is great in concert.

Of course, she is. She’s 15. I wonder if I ever told anyone I was into Madonna?

I tell her that I’m quite fond of his new song, Songs for a Sushi Restaurant.

She agrees that it’s a good song.

She is very sweet. And perfect for the job.

But I can’t hire her until she is 16. In Maine, 15-year-olds have to be off the clock by 9:00 p.m. And when you are only open for dinner, it sucks when your staff clocks out 45 minutes before the last meal is served.

I tell her this. But I follow it up with the fact that I think she’d be a great addition to our team. I give her my card and tell her to reach out after the new year, when she is 16 and I’d be happy to chat again, if she is still looking.

She is super understanding.

She takes my card and tells me I’ll hear from her soon.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

At 5:35, two women walk into the lobby. I greet them and ask if they have a reservation.

They do not.  

They are there to buy a gift card. And have a drink.

I explain that I can get them a gift card, but the only two seats I have at the bar are for 2 people who will be in at 5:45.

I send a food runner in to process the gift card purchase.  

I wait at the door.

They keep asking if they can get a drink. To be honest they are being annoying.

Can we please.? 

We’ll be fast.

On. And On. And On.

Annoying.

Finally, one of them says, what if it’s because I have a broken heart?  

I tell her I’ve heard that before.  

It’s 5:40 and they are still begging.

At one point the one with a broken heart says it again.

I say, seriously….do you have a broken heart?

She says, not me, my boyfriend. He’s having open heart surgery on Monday and I need a drink.

I am moved. I take them in. Seat them at the two empty seats. Tell the bartender they are going to have a quick drink because they have a broken heart.  

Of course, the guests that reserved those seats come in 45 seconds later.  

I tell them I can get them seated in just a few minutes.

They get comfortable in the lobby.  

I ask if they are local or from away. A question I ask a million times a night. 

They are from Mass, but have a house here.  

We chat, they ask if I’m from here.  

I tell them the 30 second version of my story.  

I grew up in Kentucky. Graduated from college and spend the next 30 years moving ever couple of years. Kansas City, Atlanta, Kentucky, Cincinnati, Alabama, Cincinnati again, Iowa, California, New York City twice, Oklahoma.

Now Maine.  

They ask what my favorite place I’ve lived is…

I tell them hands down Maine. I follow up by saying, I love living here, I love our house, but I told my partner last week we need to move the furniture because I’m getting bored.  

We continue chatting.  

Soon it is 6:00. I go in and let the girls know the guests are here.  

They come out 45 seconds later.  

I tell the girls that I appreciate their coming out and that I appreciated their being nice.  

They look at the couple on the couch and thank them profusely for their patience.  

I tell them goodbye and then take the waiting couple in.

I say, the girls had a broken heart and needed a little comfort.

And once again, everyone lived happily ever after. 

That happened to me a couple of nights ago.  

3:00 a.m. No idea what I’d forgotten but couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of my mind.

I finally figured it out today.

I had not closed the books on the three weeks we’ll be closed over Christmas.  

Got to work and discovered we already had reservations that week. One for Christmas Eve.

Whoops.  

I got to call and disappoint people.  

Luckily everyone was understanding.

Two of the tables rebooked.  

One table for the Sunday before Xmas.

The other table for tomorrow. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It’s often pointed out that I make fun of people or are hard on our guests.  I don’t mean to be and I don’t mean to make fun of them.  A lot of it is just the frustration of working too many hours, in a small town, with people who can expect a lot of us.  

However.

That’s not the story I’m telling tonight.

Tonight, is a good story.

At 8:00 a woman walks in.  I greet her and ask if she has a reservation.  She says yes, but that she is waiting for a friend.  She says she would like to wait on him before she is sat.  

Her reservation is for the bar.  

About 10 minutes later she is still waiting.

Meanwhile, a lone diner comes in looking for a seat at the bar.  I explain that we take reservations at the bar and that I won’t have any seats available for the rest of the evening as I still have other reservations to coming in.    

I offer him a table but he wants to sit at the bar.

Then the woman, who is waiting speaks up and says, He can have our bar seats.  We don’t mind a table.

I ask her if she was sure, and she said yes, they wouldn’t mind a table at all.

So, I seat the gentleman.

Her friend arrives about 5 minutes later.

They are seated.

And everyone lived happily ever after tonight.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

For those of you paying attention, I have not posted in over a week.  

I went on vacation last week.  

I went out of town, anyway.

I went home to Kentucky, for the first time since my mom passed in September 2018.

The trip started great.  Smooth travel to Boston, to the airport.  Smooth flight to Cincinnati.  Smooth drive to home from the CVG airport.  

The trip kind of veered from that point.  

Adam and I ate at some of the best restaurants in Lexington.  We learned that we are spoiled by the level of service we get here in the northeast.  In about 8 meals out, we got great service only twice.  But we’ll get back to that.  

It was great to visit with family.  

It was great to go to Keeneland.  Adam and I picked the winners of 6 out of the first 7 races. Of course, we bet conservatively, so we didn’t win big.  We ended up 30 bucks up so we considered that a success.

The most insane thing that happened on the trip was that my aunt, whom I took out to lunch on Wednesday, to one of her favorite restaurants, passed away in her sleep very early Saturday morning.  Needless to say, it changed the tenor of the trip.  I had gone there to say hi to everyone and give them big hugs, and instead I said goodbye to one of them for the last time.  

I’m glad that I got to see her, tell her I love her, and share a day with her one more time.  But it sucked having to say goodbye so soon after seeing her.  

It also put a serious damper on the mood of everyone.  

And why is this my post for tonight?

Well, I just wrote an email to the editor of the local newspaper in Kentucky.

Why you ask?

Well about 6 years ago, I gave my aunt a subscription to the local paper.  She would read it cover to cover twice a week.  And today I called to cancel the subscription, which will renew this weekend.  

But.

First, I was told that I’d have to continue to pay till the end of the year, even though the subscription has been month to month since I signed up for it. 

Then. 

I was asked why I was cancelling someone else’s subscription.  I tried to explain to know avail.  

So tonight, I logged in to my account and the subscription cancel option was to let your credit card expire, or to call the newspaper, which had already proved futile.  

So, I addressed an email to the editor of the paper.  I explained the situation and I hope that it is taken care of before the subscription is renewed again.  

I was nice.

I’ll keep you posted.   

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Actually, me the writer would like to speak to someone, anyone who can stop the insanity.

The best part of the story I’m about about to share, is that a server had graciously agreed to help host tonight as I was on the door by myself and she was witness to the insanity.   I’m pretty sure it cleared up any belief that the stories I’ve been sharing all summer aren’t 100% factual, and just as outrageous as I say they are.

Here we go.

The night began like any other Saturday night.

We sat a million people at as we always do at 5:00.  

The push continued.  

5:30 is equally as big.

At 5:23 a man walks in and says hello.  I ask if he has a reservation and he says yes, it’s under Smith.  

At the same time this happens, he recognizes the server helping me host, and gets super excited.

I hope you are waiting on us tonight.  We love you.  We are in one of the private rooms tonight.  

He looks at me and says, We are in one of the private rooms tonight, right?

I say, I’m sorry, but unfortunately you are not.  We have you at a regular table tonight.

At this point, his head explodes.  

He gets animated and says, but I made these reservation over a month ago.  Does that not count for anything.  I made these reservations over a month ago.  Does that not count for anything.  I made these reservations over a month ago, does that not count for anything.

This exchange went on for about 525,600 minutes, or so it felt.  

He then demands to know exactly why I’m not willing to accommodate his request.  

I explain, at least I try to explain, that it’s because they are just 4 people and unfortunately, we are limited in areas we can put 5 to 8 people and since the private room can hold more people, I’ve had to book a 5 top in the room instead.  

He immediately tells me that this is bad business.  He follows that by insisting it shouldn’t matter how big the party is, it should be based solely on who requested the room first.

He assures me that they’ll spend far more money than the five top and I have made a very poor business decision.  

He gets even more agitated now.

Raising his voice.  As always for the people waiting next to him not for his or my benefit.  

He then demands to know exactly where I AM seating them.  I explain that it will be at a regular table.  

He becomes more agitated.  It better not be in the middle of the dining room.  I will NOT sit in the middle of the dining room.

His table is not in the middle of the dining room, however, for a moment I considered changing him to a table that was.

His wife gets involved, it better not be in the middle of the dining room we WILL NOT sit in the middle of the dining room.  

They all stand there staring at me, and I say, we’ll get you seated as quickly as we can.

They take a seat on the sofa in the lobby.

But they do that thing where they keep commentin.  Loud enough for everyone to hear, but NOT directed directly at me.  

They continue, get louder and louder.  

Finally, the wife says, we will definitely not be coming back.

I interrupt and say excuse me, if you’d like I can cancel your reservation, with no penalty, and you can dine some place you’d be happier with.

They insist that they’ll stay. 

At 5:37 they are seated.

He again says on his way in, that I’ve made a bad business decision.

When they leave a woman sitting on the other sofa says, you were very good at holding your ground while being polite.  I’m not sure I could have done that.  

The first thing they do is let the server know how disappointed they are that the server they saw in the lobby is NOT waiting on them.

Fun fact:  It’s never fun for anyone to be told they are disappointed that you aren’t the one they want, whether, boyfriend, girlfriend, child, or server.

I go on about my evening.

The second turn was hard.  No one was leaving.  NO ONE.  

It’s 7:30 and I had four couples to seat at the bar and nowhere to put them.  Five 4-tops that were on time, with no tables open for them.  

And I’m greeting, apologizing, trying to keep people out of the bar, when I look up and there is a man standing in front of me.  At first, I have no idea who he is, but then it dawns on me, and the next thing I know he has his hand above his head, with his finger pointed at me, screaming:

YOU SUCK!!!

Excuse me?

YOU SUCK!!!

I look at him again, not believing what is occurring in front of me.

He points at me again and screams, “YOU SUCK!!!”

I never argue in the moment very well.  

However, after almost 10 years, I don’t lose my temper about it.  

I look at him and say I assure you sir that I am not bad at me job.

True story I almost said, You are right, SIR.  I do suck.  I’m quite good at it too.  I can give you references if you like.  

I did not, although when I shared this with the server hosting with me, she couldn’t stop laughing. 

He then shouts at me that he spent a ton more money that the table in the room did and they should have been given that table when they asked for it.

He then announces to the room that they are never coming back.

I assure him that we are perfectly fine if he never comes back.

And he leaves.

And I look up and everyone is staring at me.

However, the looks they were giving me, were I’m sorry you had to deal with that.  What an asshole.  

I get back to work. 

Tables are have started to open up.

I go about the business of seating people.  Thanking each group for their patience.

They all go out of their way to say something nice.

It’s not like we waited forever.

It was just a few minutes.

I’d wait an hour more to eat here.

The last group to be seated a 4-top at table 21, went even further, saying that they understand what dealing with people like that can be like because they have a 4 year old and a 2 year old.  I laugh and say, that it was all about his being told no to a request.  

They laugh, commiserate some more and are seated.

Two hours later, one of them arrives, with to-go boxes and he says to me, we’ve just had a lovely meal, and everything was perfect, so I guess this is the point in the night where I come out, yell at you, tell you that you suck and let you know that we are never coming back.

I assure him that this is the business model we follow.  

His friends join him, they are all super sweet.

The night ends.

Well sort of.  

This is the review he left tonight:

The host was very rude. I made the reservations over a month ago because we had a birthday celebration before our sister left for the winter. I requested one of the rooms. We were 4 and the very rude host said he chose a table of five for the room. That table arrived almost a 1/2 hour after us and left about a 1/2 hour before us. He was so rude I hope the restaurant loses business. We spent almost $500 there and have been there several times and spent as much. But we will never go there again. We had also loved the chefs previous restaurant.  But never again. The host was rude crude and socially unacceptable.

I bet he was super proud of that last sentence.  

I met get that put on my business cards as a tag line.  

I was actually not rude.  As witnessed by 2 people at 5:30. 

And 30 people at 7:30.

It was nothing more than his being told no.  

And fun fact.  

All of you!!!

Go to Resy.

If you know the name of my restaurant, do a search for a reservation.  The second sentence on the restaurant information page is:

Table requests cannot be guaranteed.  

The only way he’d have missed this is if he’d made the reservation over the phone, and he did not.

He was told NO.  

PS.  The other table was even better.  The timeline they describe is far from accurate, but the 5-top spent the same as the 4-top, were in and out in 90 minutes and tipped their server better.  

I’ll take the faster, nicer, more generous table any day of the week.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I need to hire a server, two hosts, and three food runners.  

Oh.

And an assistant manager.  

Yesterday, I posted all the ads.

And today Ashley applied.  

Ashley has applied to EVERY job posting I’ve made since 2013.

Every single one of them.

Twice, I invited her in to interview, thinking she might be a good fit.

That was in 2013/2014.

She never showed for her scheduled appointments.

Before COVID, I set up another interview with her, just to see if she showed.  

She did not.

I’m not exaggerating.

She has applied to every job I’ve posted since I became a manager in Maine.  

She has applied 7 times to my current restaurant.  

Her resume has not been updated since 2020.  

I wonder if it’s for unemployment benefits? 

I always think to myself, that I hope that she is okay.  

And wonder where she will finally end up finding employment. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I came home empty handed tonight.

Not one note taken at work during the shift.

I looked through my piles of notes, but nothing peaked my interest.

We’ll call this a good day and let it end there.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight, I was at the door, when a 5-top was leaving.  I did my usual thank you for coming in, how was your meal, are you from here or away greeting.

I learn that they are indeed local, they love the restaurant, and come as often as they can.

I also learned that that the woman’s father tried to book a party of 10 a few weeks ago, and was upset that he would have had to use a pre-fixe menu and NOT be able to order off the full menu.

She goes on saying, and it’s a real shame too, because he was ready to drop a couple of thousand dollars on the tab.  

She then continues with he might not ever come back because of this policy.

Yes, I’m sure a man who loves our restaurant will never come back because of our large party policy. Especially the next time he’s only 4 people.

She finally, wants to know if there are ever any exceptions to the policy.

I assure her that even Chef’s close buddies have all been required to use our pre-fixe menu.  (This is true).  

She leaves, not quite satisfied with the answer.

The backstory.

For the summer of 2021, we said no to any party over 10.  We could accommodate them.  We had tables that could seat up to 48.  

What I’m about to say is true of almost any upscale restaurant.  

Large parties can wreak havoc on the flow, and efficiency of the restaurant.

Large parties stay longer and although they do spend a lot of money, if compared to a 3 four tops vs 1 twelve top, I’d bet the checks would average out to be similar.  

Except that I can seat 3 four-tops and they’ll be in and out in 2 hours.  A 12 top is going to be there for 3+ hours, unless they are given a time limit.  

The execution of a large party also slows down the bar, the kitchen etc.  

Send a bartender 12 different martinis and it’s going to be a few, especially since they have to go out together.  

Send them three tickets with 4 martinis each and they’ll get made faster.  Is it the same, yes, but not executed the same.  

The same is true for the kitchen.

However, the kitchen can be destroyed if a series of tables, with a large party hit the kitchen at the same time.  

Restaurants when they are planning out their menu, take in to account, where each dish comes from in the kitchen.  If there are 20 main courses, then 4 will come from grill, 4 from saute, 4 from ovens, 4 from salad, 4 from pizzas.  I’ve seen menus sent back to the drawing board, when too many items come from one area. 

All it takes is one 10 top ordering 10 dishes, all coming from the same area, to fuck the kitchen. 

Every more upscale restaurant I know, uses a different menu for parties, to ensure that when the order is placed, the burden is shared with the entire kitchen, not just one area.

For us, we use a pre-fixe menu that pulls one main course menu item from each area.  One item from the oven. One item from the Josper.  One item from the grill.  One item from the back.  We can serve 12 people, and each area only has to produce three items, as the food is served family style and shared like a thanksgiving dinner.  

Many people balk at this idea, like this woman’s father, BUT, after using this menu all summer it’s truly spectacular to serve.  The food is served on large boards that are placed in the center of the table, piled high with various meats, with huge carving knives to facilitate the cutting of the meat.  

Almost everyone I’ve sold this menu to, has been worried that it won’t be enough food and not one group has finished their entire offering.   Every group has walked out with bags of takeout.  

And they all go on and on and on about how fabulous the experience is.  

And.

Contrary to popular belief, if we served this food ala carte, not charging per person, but for what is delivered to the table for the amount of people dining, the price would be the same.  Chef and I were very cautious to not let people think we are taking advantage of them.  

While I understand her father’s disappointment, it’s for the sake of the restaurant, AND ALL of the diners that we use the pre-fixe party menu.  

And there will not be exceptions.