I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was trying to think tonight when and if I’ve ever told someone that they were bad at their job.  

Either someone I know or a complete stranger.  

I suppose in my misguided youth it might have happened, like 20 plus years ago.  

As a manager, I don’t even remember telling someone this. I’ve told people that I don’t think it’s a good fit. Or that they aren’t cut out for the volume. Or the stress. Or the hours.  

But to actually say the words, YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB.  

I can’t recall ever saying that.  

Fun fact though.  

I remember the last time someone said it to me.

7:43 p.m. EDT.  

Why you ask?  

Because I wasn’t more compassionate when a 60-year old woman got angry that I forgot to tell a server that there was a birthday at her table.

At 7:00 tonight a woman walks up to the host stand, interrupts to say, I can’t get my waiter’s attention without everyone noticing. We have a birthday at our table and I want to make sure there is a candle in the dessert.  

I ask which table, say okay, I’ll take care of it, and go back to hosting.  

Fast forward to 7:30 and I’m at the host stand, with my nose in the I-pad, trying to fix a mistake that I made. Tables aren’t turning as quickly as I need them to, and people are arriving early for their reservations and I’m trying to find a spot for everyone.  

I’m in the middle of this when someone says, FIVE DESSERTS AND NOT ONE CANDLE.  

I look up confused. I’m trying to figure out what is happening, when she repeats herself.

FIVE DESSERTS AND NOT ONE CANDLE.  

As she finishes saying it the second time, I realize who she is.

I say, I’m so sorry. Let me check into that for you.

She goes on to say how disappointed she is in the entire experience.  

I apologize and she goes back to the table continuing to express her dismay.  

I get the people seated that need to be seated, and head into the dining room. I walk by the server who is being spoken to by the guest. I hear him say, here’s the manager if you want to speak with him.

I walk up and without a word she says, 5 desserts and not one candle. Some of these desserts need to be taken off the check.  

We all know how I feel about someone demanding I comp something.

I apologize again for the candles and say, did you get the desserts? Did you eat the desserts? Then I’m sorry I’m not taking them off the check.

She tells me that she can’t believe that she is being spoken to like this. She informs me that she comes here all the time. She tells me I should be ashamed of myself. And walks away.

She takes two steps, looks back at me and says don’t look at me like that.

I’m confused and say like what.

She says in that condescending way. She then shouts something I can’t hear so everyone will know she is upset.  

Everyone is looking at her.  

Ugh.  

I plant myself at the door, because I know what is coming.  

It’s around 7:45 when they leave.

Four of them march past me without even a glance.  

One of them lingers behind to say, You should really be ashamed of how you acted tonight. You were rude and condescending.

I’m truly confused as to how my forgetting a birthday candle has resulted in this.  

I apologize and ask him to explain how I was rude and condescending.  

He starts telling me how I was rude to the woman in the dining room, but I interrupt and say that he was nowhere in sight when I spoke to the woman so he’d have no idea what was said.  

I should have been more contrite. I know I should but once again, I’m wondering how a birthday candle has gotten us here.  

He continues saying, that you should be ashamed of how you behaved and you are a bad manager.

He continues.

He says, she asked you for a candle and you didn’t tell the waiter and then you said it wasn’t your fault.  

I actually never said it was not my fault. I said I’d check into it. Truth is I could have told someone else to let the server know. It could have been a 1000 different things.  

He tells me I’m a bad manager 3 or 4 times. Reminds me that they come here all the time. And storms out.  

Once again. I should have been more contrite.  

But here’s the thing. These are 60-year old’s losing their mind over a candle.  

I have to wonder how they react when something really bad happens like getting foam on their latte or Diet Coke instead of regular.  

Yes, I dropped the ball. But I was pulled into 12 different directions tonight. And things happen. It was a candle.  

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. If you take me to dinner on my birthday, you do not have to secretly tell the server to make sure I get a candle. It’s not a secret. It’s my birthday. I know it’s my birthday. You don’t even need the candle.  

Tell your person whose birthday you are celebrating that you love them and you are glad they are born.  

That it all. 

Instead. Tonight.  

You ruined their birthday, by making it about you.  

They’d have never known anything about it.  

But alas.

Now they do.  

And do you know how they are going to remember their birthday.  

Not the delicious meal they had.

Not the great service.

Not the great company.

Not the great experience.

Thanks to you the memory of this birthday will be forever burned into their memory as the night the manager forgot the birthday candle.

They told the server they were sorry I was his manager.  

No matter how many times this happens it never feels good. I feel like I’ve been hit with a truck. It’s emotionally exhausting.  

The saving grace, was the woman who witnessed the exchange with the man at the host stand, told my host that he was a bad, bad, human. That we are an excellent restaurant and knock it out of the park every single time.  

My head hurts now. Just reliving this.  

PS. If you come here all the time. You’d have said, Jeff, can you tell Andy to put a candle in one of the desserts we ordered. But alas you do not come here all the time. This is also proven by the fact that the history on the reservation shows that this was your first visit.  

Not that it matters.  

It does not.

I truly am sorry that I forgot the candle.  

But to quote Jen, “there are fucking people literally dying in the world right now”.