I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.  

We got two reviews today: 

The last one first:

Dinner  |  $100+

I sold our family home on up the street.  The new owners had reservations here….I called 1 hour prior to pay for there 1st dinner out in Maine…The man answering… could care less on my request.. said I should go on line to buy them a GIFT CARD..

Poor customer service
It’s a Sunday in November
Not July or August madness…

Hmmm.  

I’m going to translate this into reality:

I sold our family home up the street tonight. The new owners had reservations there.  I called 30 minutes prior to the reservation to buy them a round of drinks.  I asked the man who answered if he was busy.  He said yes, that he had people coming in for their 6:30 reservation but he’d try to help.  I was told that I couldn’t buy them a round of drinks directly but that an alternative would be to buy them an online gift card and it could either be emailed or texted to them immediately.  They’d be able to use it within seconds of the purchase.  I then tell him that I worked at an inn in town in the 80’s and it was so much easier back then.  People would call and you’d bend over backwards to make them happy.  I then tell the man on the phone that I am old fashioned but I understand things are different.    I thank him and then end the call.  

I then call back at 7:00 to demand that the couple who bought my home have their drinks paid for.  The man on the phone explains that unfortunately this can’t be done at this time, but the gift card is a suitable substitute.  I then start to lose my cool and explain that my family has owned a house in the area for years, that I have worked in the business, and that’s it’s November not July or August.  He tries to explain that he is alone on the door, and that contrary to popular opinion that he is indeed busy and then I interrupt and say, this is not going to go well for you.  I’m going to go out of my way to make this bad for you.  The man on the phone explains that he doesn’t understand what I am saying and I repeat myself.  He apologizes for not being able to help and I hang up.

I then go on line to tell the restaurant how much he sucks.

The review I found online at the start of my shift today:

Please provide feedback on your experience.

There was no aspect of our dining experience that was not executed to perfection. From the reservations to the final, “See you soon!” It was utter bliss. We ordered well, largely in part to expert guidance from our fearless and impassioned guide, Jennifer, who could do anything from circus ringmaster to hot rod sales to stand up comedy. Yet, I have a feeling there is no way to order anything that isn’t exceptional. The six of us gathered initially to hold up a friend who is going through a difficult time and instead the experience was a celebration of our lives, childhood memories were shared over the Christmas cookie ice cream, laughter was drawn out with every blissful bite of the dry aged Wagyu, the “cow” room was perfect for the occasion, and the manager was engaging, professional, and the kind of host that made us feel like we were in his home; disarming, welcoming, and warm. As a restaurant industry professional of over 25 years throughout the country, I am beyond impressed, nay, delighted to say this is my new favorite restaurant. We will be singing your praises to all our people and cannot wait to visit again in the near future. Thank you, Chef for the perfect example of the beauty that food and humans together can create.

Let me translate this review for you.

You.  The Staff.  The Chef.  The physical plant.  The food.  The music.  The plates.  The chairs.  The forks.  The knives.  The lamps.   The salt shaker.  The oil dispenser.  YOU ALL FUCKING ROCK!  YOU KILLED IT.