I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

A story I am not proud of.  

Tonight, we opened the doors at 4:58. A few minutes later than we like to, but we only had 1 two-top reservation at 5:00.  

30 seconds later a couple walk in that is NOT the 5:00 reservation. They look 17, at most. The boy is in stylish ripped jeans, a black t-shirt. The girl is dressed equally casual. Once again they look 17 at most and like typical teenagers.  

I really think nothing of it, as we often get teenagers on dates at our restaurant. I can’t imagine having had the where with all to take a date to a nice steakhouse at 17.  

Fast forward 12 minutes, and I walk by and the server is opening a bottle at the table.  

Hmm?

Once again, I think nothing other than to make a mental note to ask if he carded them as IT IS his second day.  

When he is finished, he lets me know that they have indeed been carded. I did not ask how old they really were.  

Once more I think nothing of it, they order, apps, entrees.  

About an hour later I realize that their entrees have not been touched at all and they are eating about one bite every 12 minutes.  

I ask the server if the table will turn by 6:30. He assures me it will NOT.  

I then ask if he’s checked on them and he says, yes. That they are just taking their time. I have also realized that the bottle on the table is bubbles. NOT wine.  

I ask what they ordered and he says:

Dom Perignon!

Seriously!  

DAMN!!!

WOW.  

But I am aware that they truly aren’t eating. They are chatting, looking at their phones, and taking a bite about every 10 minutes.

I once again check in with the server.  

And here is the point of the story.

I tell him to make sure he keeps an eye on them as nothing about their meal is normal. The champagne. The pace at which they are eating. The sitting there.  

I have to admit I’m worried they’ll dine and dash.  

With no basis for this other than their age and what they ordered.  

This is really too many years of living in NYC. Where it happened a lot.  

They continue to sit there and around 6:45 the server takes their entrees away.  

They order dessert and he brings it to them. They eat about five bites. And ask for the check.

I am not watching the table. I’m not standing next to them. I’m not doing anything inappropriate. But they do have a rather large check and look 17.  

The server comes to let me know they have cashed out and the table with will be ready in about 10 minutes. Just in time for the next reservations.  

They leave.

I feel bad for thinking the worst.  

REALLY BAD!!!

Then the server comes and shows me the check. 

They have tipped 50% of the check.  

Now I feel really, really bad and remind myself that I ALWAYS tell my staff not to judge anyone who sits down because you don’t know who they are.  

As I said, I am not proud of this story. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I got to work today, and as always, I checked the voicemails.  

Line one had 8 messages. All parties were interested in reservations for the weekend.

Line two was a little more interesting.

One message:

A woman said, Hi my name is Susan and I’m calling to place a carry out order that I’d like to pick up tomorrow at 4:30.  

She goes on, my son is getting married at the resort across town next summer and they love your restaurant. So I need to get the following items.  

3 Carpaccios
3 dozen assorted empanadas
12 orders of meatballs
And a full tres leches cake

I am confused as to why someone getting married next summer needs to go food tomorrow.  

She then lets me know that she’ll be needing this order, as they are having a wine tasting for the wedding and she wants to serve apps with the wine.  

AHHHH.  

She lets me know that she’ll be by to pick up the items around 4:30.  

Gives me her number and hangs up.  

The machine tells me that the voicemail was left on Wednesday night around 9:45.  

So she needs the food today. Not tomorrow.  

So.

She called after hours.

She orders take out from a restaurant that doesn’t do take out.

For an order she needs less than 24 hours later.  

And she lets me know that she’ll be by 30 minutes before we open to pick it up.  

I called her around 2:00 today. She did not answer.  

She did not arrive at 4:30.  

I’m hoping that she found someone to cater the event. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Remember two weeks ago when someone yelled at me over and over and over on their way out of the restaurant that I sucked.

They called to get a reservation for tomorrow night.  

They were very pleasant.  You’d never know anything transpired last time they were in.

The conversation ended with the question:  Are you going to turn up the lights so I can see my menu this time?

I started to say:  I’ll turn up the lights if you don’t tell me I suck.

Instead, I said I’ll try. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

A woman called tonight to let me know she would be late for her reservation.  

When I answered she asked if I was Kevin.

I confirmed that yes I was Kevin. 

She’s been coming in the whole time I’ve worked there.  I’ve corrected her a couple of times, but at this point I think it’s too late to worry about.  

She greeted me as Kevin when she came in.  I told her happy anniversary.  We had our pleasantries.  She was seated.   

This led me to sharing with my staff, the story I shared with you last week, about saying my name was Jason, when I didn’t want to speak with someone calling for me on a Saturday night.  

The conversation was funny and one of my servers said I needed to come up with a stage name.  

This led to a conversation for an hour or so of people coming up with their preferred stage names. 

I shared nicknames from my past.  Fight.  Jeff Ann.  Maddog.  

But I couldn’t come up with a suitable stage name.  

So, friends, lend me your ideas.  What should be my stage name at work.  The name I use when I don’t want people to know they are speaking to Jeff the GM.   A name that will always be there so that I don’t stumble when asked.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Wonder of wonders, Miracle of miracles.  

I got to work today. 

And for the first time maybe ever, there were no voice mails.  

Zilch.  

ZERO.

Nada.  

And it was glorious.  

That is all.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

A food runner, who is 16, gave his notice last week.  

Tonight, was his last night.

He’s a sweet kid, but his job, school, life were too much for him to keep up with.  

So, he made the decision to leave the job.

He was nervous when he told me.  

I assured him that he was not the first person to give notice, and although I’d be sad to see him go, and he’d be missed, and we wanted nothing but the best for him

At the end of his shift tonight, he came up to say his final goodbye.

I stuck out my hand to shake his.  

He offered me his and we shook.

I told him he’d be missed, but ended by saying can we do that again?

I stuck out my hand, and said as he reached for mine, to grab it firmly this time.

The repeat handshake was great.  

I told him to always grip the hand firmly and look the person he is shaking with in the eye.

I said to remember this for today, and for every hand he shakes from now on.

It was a very sweet moment.

He then went down the line with the other food runners practicing his new found handshake.

This is not the first time I’ve had this conversation with a 16 year.  

Both boys and girls.  

I hope he carries this with him.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was on the door tonight, as I am every Saturday night.

We were busy tonight.  Summer busy.

Around 5:20 the phone rings, and no one is standing in front of me so I answer it.

Hello, thank you for calling the restaurant.  How may I help you?

A voice on the other end says, Hey, is Jeff around?

It’s Saturday night.  Of course, I am around.  However, I do not have time to take a phone call.  Anyone calling me wants something and I can’t be on the phone for 10 minutes helping.

I say, Jeff is here but he can’t come to the phone.  

The person says, are you the maitre’d?  

I say, I am the host.

He now wants to know my name.  

I say Jason.

He begins, by telling me who he is. 

He was part of a party of 5 that were in earlier in the week.  

He proceeds to tell me that he is calling because collegues of his are coming in to sit at the bar, and he wants to make sure they are taken care of.

I have no idea what he means, or wants.

I listen.  He keeps talking.

I ask who’s name the reservation is under, and he gives it to me.  I can’t find it.  

He continues.

I listen, finally interrupt and say I’ll pass along message to Jeff and Chef.

We hang up.

I’m sure he knew it was me.

But who calls on a Saturday night, to do this.

And what does he expect me to do?  Short of comping their meal, the service he will get will the same service we off every night, which is exemplary.  

I’m pretty sure that the people he was calling about showed up without a reservation at 6:30. They had made their reservation for last night and no showed.  

I got them seated, but once again was not sure it was them.  They said on the way out they’d had a great time.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was trying to think tonight when and if I’ve ever told someone that they were bad at their job.  

Either someone I know or a complete stranger.  

I suppose in my misguided youth it might have happened, like 20 plus years ago.  

As a manager, I don’t even remember telling someone this. I’ve told people that I don’t think it’s a good fit. Or that they aren’t cut out for the volume. Or the stress. Or the hours.  

But to actually say the words, YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB.  

I can’t recall ever saying that.  

Fun fact though.  

I remember the last time someone said it to me.

7:43 p.m. EDT.  

Why you ask?  

Because I wasn’t more compassionate when a 60-year old woman got angry that I forgot to tell a server that there was a birthday at her table.

At 7:00 tonight a woman walks up to the host stand, interrupts to say, I can’t get my waiter’s attention without everyone noticing. We have a birthday at our table and I want to make sure there is a candle in the dessert.  

I ask which table, say okay, I’ll take care of it, and go back to hosting.  

Fast forward to 7:30 and I’m at the host stand, with my nose in the I-pad, trying to fix a mistake that I made. Tables aren’t turning as quickly as I need them to, and people are arriving early for their reservations and I’m trying to find a spot for everyone.  

I’m in the middle of this when someone says, FIVE DESSERTS AND NOT ONE CANDLE.  

I look up confused. I’m trying to figure out what is happening, when she repeats herself.

FIVE DESSERTS AND NOT ONE CANDLE.  

As she finishes saying it the second time, I realize who she is.

I say, I’m so sorry. Let me check into that for you.

She goes on to say how disappointed she is in the entire experience.  

I apologize and she goes back to the table continuing to express her dismay.  

I get the people seated that need to be seated, and head into the dining room. I walk by the server who is being spoken to by the guest. I hear him say, here’s the manager if you want to speak with him.

I walk up and without a word she says, 5 desserts and not one candle. Some of these desserts need to be taken off the check.  

We all know how I feel about someone demanding I comp something.

I apologize again for the candles and say, did you get the desserts? Did you eat the desserts? Then I’m sorry I’m not taking them off the check.

She tells me that she can’t believe that she is being spoken to like this. She informs me that she comes here all the time. She tells me I should be ashamed of myself. And walks away.

She takes two steps, looks back at me and says don’t look at me like that.

I’m confused and say like what.

She says in that condescending way. She then shouts something I can’t hear so everyone will know she is upset.  

Everyone is looking at her.  

Ugh.  

I plant myself at the door, because I know what is coming.  

It’s around 7:45 when they leave.

Four of them march past me without even a glance.  

One of them lingers behind to say, You should really be ashamed of how you acted tonight. You were rude and condescending.

I’m truly confused as to how my forgetting a birthday candle has resulted in this.  

I apologize and ask him to explain how I was rude and condescending.  

He starts telling me how I was rude to the woman in the dining room, but I interrupt and say that he was nowhere in sight when I spoke to the woman so he’d have no idea what was said.  

I should have been more contrite. I know I should but once again, I’m wondering how a birthday candle has gotten us here.  

He continues saying, that you should be ashamed of how you behaved and you are a bad manager.

He continues.

He says, she asked you for a candle and you didn’t tell the waiter and then you said it wasn’t your fault.  

I actually never said it was not my fault. I said I’d check into it. Truth is I could have told someone else to let the server know. It could have been a 1000 different things.  

He tells me I’m a bad manager 3 or 4 times. Reminds me that they come here all the time. And storms out.  

Once again. I should have been more contrite.  

But here’s the thing. These are 60-year old’s losing their mind over a candle.  

I have to wonder how they react when something really bad happens like getting foam on their latte or Diet Coke instead of regular.  

Yes, I dropped the ball. But I was pulled into 12 different directions tonight. And things happen. It was a candle.  

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. If you take me to dinner on my birthday, you do not have to secretly tell the server to make sure I get a candle. It’s not a secret. It’s my birthday. I know it’s my birthday. You don’t even need the candle.  

Tell your person whose birthday you are celebrating that you love them and you are glad they are born.  

That it all. 

Instead. Tonight.  

You ruined their birthday, by making it about you.  

They’d have never known anything about it.  

But alas.

Now they do.  

And do you know how they are going to remember their birthday.  

Not the delicious meal they had.

Not the great service.

Not the great company.

Not the great experience.

Thanks to you the memory of this birthday will be forever burned into their memory as the night the manager forgot the birthday candle.

They told the server they were sorry I was his manager.  

No matter how many times this happens it never feels good. I feel like I’ve been hit with a truck. It’s emotionally exhausting.  

The saving grace, was the woman who witnessed the exchange with the man at the host stand, told my host that he was a bad, bad, human. That we are an excellent restaurant and knock it out of the park every single time.  

My head hurts now. Just reliving this.  

PS. If you come here all the time. You’d have said, Jeff, can you tell Andy to put a candle in one of the desserts we ordered. But alas you do not come here all the time. This is also proven by the fact that the history on the reservation shows that this was your first visit.  

Not that it matters.  

It does not.

I truly am sorry that I forgot the candle.  

But to quote Jen, “there are fucking people literally dying in the world right now”.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

We cook with wood fire at our restaurant.

So the dominant, more noticeable smell is the smoky smell of meat cooking. It’s especially noticeable at 5:00 when the grills are still getting up to temperature and the first orders are being prepared.

However, every night at 5:00, I get asked what the wonderful smell in the lobby is.

I used to reply that it was the smell of the wood smoke.

But I was always told no, this has vanilla in it.

It took me about 9 months to discover that it’s the automatic air freshener in the lady’s restroom, which is off the lobby.  

It happened again tonight.  

It is a nice smell.

However, tonight reminded me of a story from back in the summer.

A 5-top was seated at table 37. A family. Three kids. The father is from South America.

He asks his server about half way through the evening what the scent is we use in the men’s room. It reminds him of his home in South America.  

The server comes to me to ask me about it.  

I am surprised.  

The men’s room always smells of piss. (I think of Sweeney Todd as I write this). Our urinal is poorly designed, or the men have bad aim, and by 6:00 there is always the lingering smell of piss. It’s so bad that the owner has spoken with his plumber several times about getting a new urinal.  

When the server asks me, I am at a loss as to what to say.  

It’s truly the smell of pee and the same vanilla scented air freshener from the women’s room.  

I tell her to let him know its just the air freshener we use.

She comes back later and says the guest thought maybe our chef ordered a scent from his home town in South America to give the restaurant a more authentic smell.  

I chuckle as I am taken back to the state candles that were for sale on line a few years ago. The smell of tobacco, bourbon and regret, I think was the Kentucky smell. Maine was pine, lobster and sweaty tourists. California was red wine, salt air and car exhaust.  

Perhaps we should bottle our men’s room scent and start an Etsy page with it. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It is warm in Maine right now.  

Unseasonably warm.  

It will be in the 70’s this weekend, with the potential to break records.  

Anyone want to guess how many phone calls I fielded today about the patio?  

I get it.  

Everyone in Maine wants to be outside, because winter is coming. 

But keeping a patio open, or reopening a patio is not an easy task.

First, we closed out patio early this year not because of discomfort of the guest, but because we got a number of complaints about cold food. When it’s 54* outside, and you drop mashed potatoes at the table, they are cold in about 60 seconds. The same is true of the steak you ordered. When people began to complain, in order to maintain quality, we closed the patio.  

Closing out patio, isn’t just about the act of not seating it. It has to be weatherized. The plumbing has to be drained. The bar has to be emptied. The furniture stored.  

We couldn’t open our patio even if we wanted to.

And then there is staffing.  

We have a 100-seat patio, do I just schedule 3 people daily, just in case the weather is nice? What do I do with them when it’s 45* outside? It also requires an extra host and extra food runners.  

So I understand your wanting to be outside…

But from a business standpoint, it’s does not make good business sense, to be on call for weather that may not happen.  

I’ll be jealous of all of you eating outside on Saturday and Sunday, but I’ll be happy to not have the stress of figuring out how to cover the staffing needs to have out patio open.