I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I wrote this post almost 2 years ago. And posted it before I started asking to speak to the manager. Last night, I posted about public speaking and my graduation speech and Mark Maltby asked if I still give out “handouts” when I speak. I have not, since then, but I think it might be something to consider.  

Here is the story of how I went from designing to managing based on the original post from 2021.   

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My new restaurant just finished week three. 

It’s a great success and we are doing quite well. 

I often have conversations with guests, and it comes up that I moved from NYC and that in a previous life I was a theatre lighting designer. 

A pretty good one at that. 

Very often I’m asked how I made the leap from designer to restaurant general manager. 

Well. 

Fun fact. 

In grad school, while obtaining my MFA at UCSD, one of the best theatre schools in the country, I ran a very successful bar out of my office. 

Our offices were shared with three other people. We each got a corner.  

Everyone’s corner was their own domain.  I’ve attached a photo of my corner.  It was decorated like a carnival.  With Xmas lights, and disco balls, and all things colorful. I still have no idea how it started, but I built on it the whole time I was there.  I had fully planned to document it in photos before I left, but I came in one day and discovered that internet service was being updated and a whole portion of the décor had been taken down.  

The first happy hour, was on Friday night, of the first week of classes of my 2^nd year.  My friend Michelle was in town, and she funded the first happy hour.  We went to Costco, and bought all things booze.  Gin, Rum, Vodka, Bourbon.  We bought cases of Corona.  And we bought a fridge.  The weeks prior to that day, I spent scouring thrift stores, becaue I was determined that we’d have glass, glassware, not plastic solo cups.  

On that first Friday, around 3:30, I cleared off my industrial drafting table, made sure my laptop and drawings were all secure, and I’d set up bar.  

To say it was a success right off the bat, is an understatement.  I had told everyone about it, but they didn’t get what they were expecting.  I had a full bar.  And a cash drawer.  And an ice cooler.  

And as they say, if you build it, they will come.  

I hosted happy hour every Friday for two years from 4:00 to close. Which was sometimes 5:00 pm if we were all busy.   But more often it was as late as 1:00 or 2:00 am. A few night, also known as morning, we were still there are 4:00 am. 

My regulars included classmates, and unofficially our professors and staff who always pretended they weren’t there. 

We also had alumni, guest artists, friends, and strangers. 

Girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses would sometimes come.  

The crowd could be two people. Or sometimes 30 or 40 people.  

Occasionally someone would remind me that we weren’t allowed to have alcohol on campus, and I’d pretend to do something, like hang a curtain over the booze or hide it in a cabinet.  

We also did special deliveries.  

Once, during each tech, the drink fairy would show up and all the designer and stage managers would get a Styrofoam cup from the cafeteria with their favorite cocktail.  

It’s because of these deliveries I now drink bourbon. I got sick during tech in the spring of my second year, and my classmates kept my Diet Coke cup spiked with bourbon as I couldn’t talk and felt like shit. It got me through 8 days of tech and the show looked great. 

I managed to keep the bar inventory stocked and the fridge full, by charging two dollars per drink. We had an honor system and house accounts for those of us who ran short at the end of the month. 

People would buy each other cocktails, cover tabs, and not once, did someone not eventually pay up their 30 or 40 dollar tab.

That absolute best part of these Friday evenings, was the discussions, arguments, yelling matches.  

When you put 30 or 40 artists in a room, discussion ensues.  All in good nature.  But many, many times intense.  I remember an argument about whether you could use a toilet seat to represent a PAR CAN on a light plot as long as it was listed in the key.  Lots of discussion about real theater vs commercial theater. 

I truly believe that I learned as much drinking Corona on Friday nights as I did in the classes we took.  We interpreted texts, we discussed themes and characters, we discussed artists in our field, we critiqued each other’s work, and we learned and we lived and we enjoyed spending time with each other, and ultimately made life long friends.  

These friends have gone on to do great work.  They are running theater companies.  They are working on Broadway.  They are designing award winning films.  They are running design shop.  So, so many have gone into teaching, and I know their students are in good hands.  I love seeing my actor friend show up on shows like Community, and Law and Order and feature films.  

Others, like me have left the field and are equally successful.  They’ve gone into medical fields, arts administration, non-profit gigs, event management.  

And oh, oh, so many have taken on their biggest roles of all, they are parents.  I love, logging in to see what all of their kids are up to these days.  Some are still babies.  Others are teenagers.  All looked loved and cared for.  

I was a just as proud of running happy hour, as I was the design work I produced while a student. So proud, that my thesis statement, which at UCSD, is a one page paper was called, What I Learned During Happy Hour.”  In fact, I once didn’t get a teach job, because the academic council, didn’t think I’d taken my education seriously.  

When I graduated, my cocktail hour was as much a part of my legacy as my art.   

I don’t know if this is still true, but at UCSD, when the department holds graduation, each student, is allowed a few minutes (think the Oscars) to give thanks to their people.  We are told to keep it short which I did not.  

In fact, I remember to this day, saying, I’ve spent three years and thousands of dollars in order to stand here today.  You can give me more than 90 seconds to say thank you.  

However, before I started my speech, I had my friend Tom, wheel out a cooler, pop it open and gave each of my fellow graduating classmates a Corona.  

It was my last happy hour.  

I remember tearing up getting to the end of my speech, that had bullet points, NOT the speech written out.  

I wish that there had been I-phones back then because I’d loved to be able to see it now.  

I miss doing design work. I miss that creative outlet.  

But I like my life in Maine more. 

Adam and I talked at length about what our life in Maine would look like.  And the truth of the matter was, I was tired of traveling.  I was tired of living job to job.  And although there is great theater in the Boston Area north, I’d never have been able to buy this house, or live the life we have today.  

However, I’ve said a million times that my studies in California made me the manager I am today.

My patience. My ability to see the big picture. My ability to deal with all types of people. My ability to know just how dim to make the lights at dinner. My ability to not to stab someone in the eye with a fork. My ability to train new staff. My ability to take criticism.  My ability to think outside the box.  My ability to pivot when something needs a new look.  

All of this is an extension of UCSD.

In March, it will have been 10 years since my last design, but my two years of running a bar during grad school, I use every day. 

Thank you, Mark Maltby for not shutting me down! 

Thank you, classmates, who kept the bar open, and spent so many hours with me, doing what we love.  

And thanks to all of you who I still consider the best of friends.  

And that’s how I went from being a lighting designer to a general manager.

PS.  I have taken way too long to get this on paper.  I will edit it again, when I retire in 40 years.