I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Hello, thanks for calling the restaurant, how may I help you?

Hi.  Is this Jeff?

Yes it is?  How may I help you.

Yes, I’m calling to introduce myself.  My name is Jason Smith and I know that you are friends with Adam who manages at a different restaurant and you used to work for David.  I’ve know David for years.  I’m calling because I’m going to be making a reservation in the coming weeks and I felt it was important for you to know who I am.  I live up north and I have an office in Portland, and I come down all the time and eat in Portland at all the restaurants.  I have an office in NYC and I used to go down to the city all the time, but I’m retired now, but I still have my office in NYC and Portland, because sometimes you just need to get to civilization.  My friend has been to your restaurant and has absolutely raved about it.  And he keeps telling me I need to make the trip, but because I live up north, I never get down that far, but I want to put a dinner at your restaurant on the calendar.  It’s a little far for me and my wife, but my friend has told me over and over and over and over that I definitely need to make the trip.  So I think we will make a reservation in the coming months.  Where do you suggest we sit?  I hear that you have an amazing bar.  But my friend says that the dining room is also nice.  We might come in the summer, do you have a patio?  Is is nice?  Is it hot?  Do you have mosquitos?  And what should we order?  I can’t find a menu on line but, my friend says you do steak very well?  Do you have steak?  What kind?  Do you have seafood?  My wife is more a seafood person.  I like steak if it’s good steak.  Yes, I know who you are.  Your reputation speaks for itself.  Anyone who is a friend of Adam’s has to be a good guy.  When I googled you, I saw a photo of you and Adam and a very lovely woman.  Who was that?  You were all dressed up in the society page.  You were wearing a bowtie.  How excellent.  So should I call you directly when I’m ready to make my reservation.  My name is Jason and I like to get to know people before I come to visit them.  I make these calls even when I’m dining in NYC.  I’ve been going to Portland for years and everyone knows who I am.  I couldn’t find a menu online.  Do you have a menu online?  How can I see a menu.  Did I mention that I’m retired but I still go to Portland to visit my office.  It used to be across the street and I see everyone.  Now it’s less busy downtown and I don’t see as many people.  How long did you work for David?  He’s a great guy.  Known him for years.  How long have you been at your current job?  Do you like it?  Do you know the Smiths?  I hear they come to eat there often.  Well, I need to get going.  I’m going to make a reservation next month, so now you’ll know who I am.

Thanks for chatting.

Whew.  

I am exhausted.

The actual words are different, but the gist of the conversation is absolute true.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Server edition!!!

M*RIC*N. (Spanish word for derogatory gay insult).

I’d put the little accent mark over the “o” but I don’t know how.

It translates into “FA**OT”

Which translates into me hating the word.

With a passion.

I’ve always hated the word f*g. I don’t know why.

I don’t toss it around with my friends.

“Hey f*gg*t what are you up to?”

I don’t like when they toss it around with me.

I don’t like it used at all.

Even with gay men often it is a derogatory word.

“He’s such a f*g.”

I especially don’t like it when someone who is not gay uses it.

Even joking.

I also don’t like the word M*RIC*N.

It’s derogatory.

Imagine my surprise when I’m standing in the kitchen ringing up an order on Monday night and I hear a manager say “blah, blah, blah, M*RIC*N. He was calling one of the kitchen guys a f*g.

This is not the first time I’ve heard the word in the kitchen. It is in fact not the second.

What was surprising was that it was a manager.

It pissed me off.

I went to my manager on duty and told him that if I heard the word again out of the kitchen I was going to make one hell of a stink about it. He wanted to know who said it and when I told him it was a manager he said he’d talk to him.

I said great and went back to waiting tables.

About 15 minutes later my manager comes up to me and says, “The manager says that’s not what he said. He says that it’s a miscommunication and my not knowing Spanish didn’t allow for the correct understanding of the word.”

I asked my manager if the manager would be saying the same thing if I went into the kitchen and miscommunicated the n word.

My manager said that I had a point and that the manager would be coming out to speak to me.

At this point I’m really pissed off.

I didn’t misunderstand anything. I’ve heard the word m*ric*n before. And I was not the only one there. I turned when I heard it and our lead host was in the kitchen getting something to drink.

She happens to speak Spanish. I asked her if I’d heard what I thought I’d heard. She assured me that I’d heard correctly.

After my manager told me what the manager said I went back to the wait station and started asking my Spanish speaking co-workers what the meaning of m*ric*n is. None of them knew of a different meaning. I asked them all.

Now I’m really pissed.

I’m in the wait station and the manager comes up to me and asks me if he can talk to me.

We step into the back hallway.

He says:

I don’t know what you thought you heard. But I didn’t say m*ric*n as in f*gg*t. I said m*ric*n as in “m*therf*cker”. They sound the same but if you speak Spanish then you could tell the difference.

I AM FUCKING FURIOUS NOW!!!

I told him to drop the act. I wasn’t stupid. I know what he said, and I know what it meant. I also told him, not so calmly that I’d asked every single Spanish person working if I could have misconstrued the meaning of the word and I was assured that there was no other word that sounded similar and it didn’t have another meaning.

He protested again, getting heated.

By this time we are just short of yelling at each other.

I finally say, “FINE. WE’LL HAVE A LITTLE MEETING WITH our new gay general manager AND PERHAPS YOU CAN TEACH HIM THE NUANCES OF SAYING M*THERF*CKER AND F*GG*T.

And I walked away.

I probably shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it. But it rubbed me the wrong way. And I think it’s inappropriate. Period. And as a gay man I shouldn’t have to deal with people throwing the word around as some sort of insult, especially at work.

I didn’t talk to the GM. I went to work and acted as nothing had happened. The manager was there and I worked with him. He didn’t mention it either.

I realized tonight what pissed me off most about the manager’s response.

He thought I wasn’t smart enough to know that he was lying. I may be a “m*ric*n” but I’m not stupid.

And

It’s never alright to call someone a f*gg*t or m*ric*n.

Gay or straight.