I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Hello, thanks for calling the restaurant, how may I help you?

Hi.  Is this Jeff?

Yes it is?  How may I help you.

Yes, I’m calling to introduce myself.  My name is Jason Smith and I know that you are friends with Adam who manages at a different restaurant and you used to work for David.  I’ve know David for years.  I’m calling because I’m going to be making a reservation in the coming weeks and I felt it was important for you to know who I am.  I live up north and I have an office in Portland, and I come down all the time and eat in Portland at all the restaurants.  I have an office in NYC and I used to go down to the city all the time, but I’m retired now, but I still have my office in NYC and Portland, because sometimes you just need to get to civilization.  My friend has been to your restaurant and has absolutely raved about it.  And he keeps telling me I need to make the trip, but because I live up north, I never get down that far, but I want to put a dinner at your restaurant on the calendar.  It’s a little far for me and my wife, but my friend has told me over and over and over and over that I definitely need to make the trip.  So I think we will make a reservation in the coming months.  Where do you suggest we sit?  I hear that you have an amazing bar.  But my friend says that the dining room is also nice.  We might come in the summer, do you have a patio?  Is is nice?  Is it hot?  Do you have mosquitos?  And what should we order?  I can’t find a menu on line but, my friend says you do steak very well?  Do you have steak?  What kind?  Do you have seafood?  My wife is more a seafood person.  I like steak if it’s good steak.  Yes, I know who you are.  Your reputation speaks for itself.  Anyone who is a friend of Adam’s has to be a good guy.  When I googled you, I saw a photo of you and Adam and a very lovely woman.  Who was that?  You were all dressed up in the society page.  You were wearing a bowtie.  How excellent.  So should I call you directly when I’m ready to make my reservation.  My name is Jason and I like to get to know people before I come to visit them.  I make these calls even when I’m dining in NYC.  I’ve been going to Portland for years and everyone knows who I am.  I couldn’t find a menu online.  Do you have a menu online?  How can I see a menu.  Did I mention that I’m retired but I still go to Portland to visit my office.  It used to be across the street and I see everyone.  Now it’s less busy downtown and I don’t see as many people.  How long did you work for David?  He’s a great guy.  Known him for years.  How long have you been at your current job?  Do you like it?  Do you know the Smiths?  I hear they come to eat there often.  Well, I need to get going.  I’m going to make a reservation next month, so now you’ll know who I am.

Thanks for chatting.

Whew.  

I am exhausted.

The actual words are different, but the gist of the conversation is absolute true.