I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Adam and I don’t eat out a lot when we are home.

Obviously, when we are away, we have to eat at out.

We’ve had some stunningly wonderful meals.

We’ve also had some duds.  

Last week in DC, it was no different.  

The first story, will be about going out for a big steak dinner.  

We love red meat. We love steakhouses. This is 100% more true now that I work at one.  

We go in search of comparable meals.  

We actually had a meal that was comparable in Lexington.

Last Monday night, well, not so much.  

Let me tell you about it.

The idea was to have dinner, with all the fixin’s, wine, cocktails etc.  

Neither of us were driving, so no one had to be the DD and there was no need to hurry home.

We made reservations for 7:30.  

When we arrived, we approached the host stand, Adam let them know we had a reservation, and the manager pointed to a table and said, that’s your table. He didn’t lead us there. Didn’t give us menus. He just pointed at a 4-top table, on the other side of the restaurant, next to a group of 15 or so men.  

I’m almost to the table, when I hear Adam call my name.  

I turn, and he motions for me to come back.

I return and discover that the manager thought we were joining the large party of men. Why he’d think that when we had our own reservation is beyond me. And let’s just say with the group of guys, two of us weren’t like the others.  

We are taken to a 2-top booth.  

We get settled in.  

The first thing I notice, is that it looks like we are in a hotel lobby. 

The décor is basic. The lighting is worse.  

And, there is no one there.

There are perhaps 6 tables in the whole restaurant.  

A server approaches and hands us menus.

And, in .000001 seconds, he turns on his corporate speak and begins to upsell us.  

Would you like bottled still or sparkling water?

May I recommend a beverage. Perhaps a glass of cabernet, or malbec. We also have a very nice Sauvignon Blanc, or maybe a mocktail it you like.

He then went on to mention a couple of appetizers.  

I call it Applebee’s speak.  

Corporate 101.  

You have to mention these three things because if you are secret shopped they’ll lower your score.  

We ask for tap water and started looking over the menu, while I began to tell Adam how much I didn’t want to eat here.  

The truth is, I didn’t want to spend the money we were about to spend, on a Applebee’s experience, with the basic décor and bad lighting.

However, I did check in and ask if I was being ridiculous.  

He told me he understood, but to give it a chance. We might like it more than we think.

We are still looking at the menu, when the server appears with water.  

He asks if we’d like a drink, and before we can even tell him our decision, and we had made one, he begins the hard sell again.

Perhaps you’d like a bottle of Merlot, or a glass of Pinot, I often recommend the special Manhattan, and on, and on, and on.  

I stopped him and said, we need a couple of minutes please.

He walked away and I told Adam, I am not eating here.

Adam was worried about just leaving, but he did understand.  

We decide we’ll move to the bar, have a cocktail and try to find another steakhouse with openings for dinner.  

We get up, approach the host stand, and from behind me I hear Adam say, “I’m sorry, we are going to have to cut our evening short. Our baby sitter just called and she’s nervous, so I think we’ll need to reschedule. We are going to have a quick drink before we head out at the bar, if that’s okay.”

What the fuck was that?

The manager is so understanding, says of course, of course. He leads us to two seats at the bar, and we get settled once again.

The bar is even worse than the dining room.

It seats about 20 people. There is one other guest seated 8 or so chairs down from us. Fox News is on the TV. And the bartender has attended the same training school.  

Our drinks arrive, and Adam and I are discreetly looking for another restaurant, when who should appear, but the manager.

I should point out that he is a tall, gay man in his 40’s. Why is this important…because he wants to bond with us over our situation.

Is this the first time you’ve left your child? Yes, at least for this long.

Is it a girl or boy. A girl!

How old is she? Three

How many do you have? Just one. We originally said, no children but after 10 years together, felt like we were missing something, so had a daughter.

Who is babysitting? Our neighbor’s 16 year old daughter. Its the first time she’s ever babysitted before. She’s nervous. And has asked us to hurry home.

He disappears and re-appears over the course of the 20 minutes we were there.

While we are still seeking an alternative for dinner, Adam and I are also creating the background story, because the questions just don’t stop.

Finally, after 40 years, I’m using the acting skills, I learned in during my undergraduate degree.  

She is three. We used a surrogate. She was born in July. Her name is Ashton Rose, after Adam’s grandmother. We discussed not having children at our first date, but eventually changed outr minds. Adam was more on board with it than me.  

These weren’t quick answers either. There were several names before we landed on Ashton Rose. There was a discussion of maybe her boyfriend was the problem.  

We were worried he was going to ask where we lived as neither of us know DC.  

We secured another reservation at 8:15.  

Meanwhile, our drinks have been empty for 10 minutes. The bartender is nowhere to be found. Adam eventually gets up and goes to the other end of the bar to try and find someone to run our credit card.

We pay. And thankfully, the manager, was busy doing something, se we were able to sneak out without incident.  

We laughed all the way to the new restaurant.  

Where we are seated at beautiful window table. The décor is lovely. The lighting is still bad.  

The service, however, was top notch.

We met the sommelier, who talked to us about Buenos Aires.  

We met the captain, who brought my cocktail, to personally infuse the smoke table side. She once spent the summer in Maine, at Maine State Music Theater, dancing in the chorus.  

We met the manager, who was lovely.

They all made sure we had a great time.

I let them know I worked for a steak house in Maine and when we got the check they had give us a 25% industry discount.

It was a wonderful experience.

The food was great as well.  

At the end of the night, I once again, asked Adam if I’m just too critical.  

He said no.  

But of course, that was before we had dinner on Tuesday night.