I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

There.

That’s out of my system.

On the drive home tonight, I realized  that the summer people are arriving.  

Not the summer residents.

These are the summer people who come for one week a year.  

And the summer people who come from Omaha to experience Maine for one time in their life.  

I was on the door tonight and it was difficult.  

Here’s why:

1.  If you let your wife be rude to me two weeks ago, by insisting that I host an event in a space that isn’t even open yet.  And two days later, you show up with more people than you’ve told you can have, then don’t be surprised when I don’t take your phone call, when it’s after 5:00 on the busiest Saturday we’ve had since December.  Continuing to call every 6 minutes for the next 90 minutes isn’t helping your cause.  And when you finally left a message, it was for tomorrow night anyway. You own a business.  You have to know how an answering machine works.  

•  Don’t come in 30 minutes early for your reservation, and insist I give you a private room that seats 8 for your party of 4.  And no, the host did not tell you that you could have it.  And it doesn’t matter that you called a month ago.  I’m not going to turn away a 6-top for that.  Yes, I CAN give you a booth, but you are going to have to wait 30 minutes to be seated.  And you can’t have a drink while you wait.  

•  Hi, yes, you have a reservation for 8 in three weeks and you want the Chef’s table?  I’m sorry but we don’t pull the Chef’s tables together.  I do have a lovely table for you. She replied, you used to. I have been employed here for 2 years, and we’ve done it three times.  Every time for close friends.  Never, for someone we didn’t know.  

•  Hi, welcome friends.  Do you have a reservation?  Yes, the Smiths party of 4.  We’ll get you seated in just a few minutes. I look up and all 4 of them are still standing right in front of me.  I continue to study the I-pad to make things work.  I look up and they are still standing there.  Finally, I say, it will be just a few minutes if you want to wait over there.  

•  Do not make a reservation for 8:30, then arrive at 6:30 to see if you can be seated early.  It will seriously be 8:30 before I will have an opening.    

• Yes, you can make a reservation for 2 at the bar at 7:30.  No you cannot come in early to have a drink at the bar, while you wait to be seated at the bar.  

• I’m terribly sorry that you did not like your table in our atrium Gallery area.  I personally think it’s quaint out there, but I can understand why you might not like it.  However, in our defense, you called at 5:30 tonight for a reservation and we didn’t give you an option as it was the only option we had.  

•  Do not order your salmon well done…and then be surprised that it’s dry.  The Chef recommends medium.  Your salmon was well done, that might be why it was dry.   

• Do not sit at the bar for3 hours when for the last hour you had nothing in front of you.  Not water, not a beer, not dessert.  Just you and your wife looking at your phones individually for 45 minutes.  

1.  And last but not least.  Asking the same question multiple times will NOT result in a different answer.  You showed up 30 minutes early for your reservation for 6 people.  I explained that it would be closer to 8:00, your time, before I could get you seated.  You asked me 4 times, if I was sure, you couldn’t get a drink at the bar while you waited.  The last time you followed me in to the dining room, pointing at all the space you could wait in, and got angry when I said not for the fourth time.  And then you asked me if we would be seating you on time.  Ma’am, it’s 7:35.  Your reservation is 25 minutes from now.  I believe that I will indeed seat you on time.  

But most of all, I’d like to thank the two couples at the barm, I sat late, for being willing to be patient and kind and lovely, as I explained that your stools were occupied by people who had paid their checks 30 minutes ago, and we were just waiting on to leave.  I so appreciate your presence tonight, especially considering I sat you both 30 minutes behind schedule.  

PS.  I did offer them a table, they chose to wait for the bar.