I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

No really.  

Can I speak with the manager!!!

Today is Monday.  Was Monday.  

For the past three nights I’ve been kept awake by my knee.   Pain radiating from my knee to my shin, my calf and my ankle.  

Friday night was horrible. 

So horrible that I took 2 of the pain pills I have with no luck.  It didn’t touch it.  

I had also had two bourbons one before, one after the pain pills.  I was miserable.  

Around 4:00 a.m. I actually called my doctor.  I didn’t know what to expect on a Saturday morning at 4:00, but I was desperate.  I left a message.  They called back around 5:30.  I remember talking to them but I couldn’t tell you anything I said.  I’d been asleep by the time they called, and with the medicine and the bourbon I was out of it.  

I felt off all day on Saturday.  

Saturday night around 3:00 a.m. the pain was back.  

I didn’t take anything stronger than Advil and Tylenol on Saturday night.   

For the 2^nd night in a row, my knee kept me awake not to mention Adam who couldn’t sleep because I kept tossing and turning.  

Last night was the worst of the three.  

I spent about 60 minutes in bed before I moved to the couch.  

I couldn’t get comfortable. 

The pain was intense. 

I finally fell asleep on the couch and woke up around 5:30. I moved to the bed.  Fell asleep and the next thing I knew the alarm was going off at 11:30.  

When I got in the car today, I called my doctor.  

Someone answered and I let them know that I had new pain.  Different than before.   It was emanating from my knee but was focused in my shin, calf and ankle.  

It also only starts once I get into bed, and had dissipates by the time I get up.  

I needed something to allow me to sleep as I had not slept in three days.  

I was told someone would get back to me.  

It was 12:05.  

At 4:00 no one had called back.  

I called again.  

Got someone who was just answering the phone.  

She found the notes and told me that they’d decided it was a primary physician issue.  

I asked how my knee was getting referred back to my PCP.  I also asked why no one had called to let me know this.  And I asked why I my PCP had not been notified since it was the same practice.  

She took my information and told me someone would call back.  I gave her my work number as I don’t get service on my cell at work.   

At 5:00 my cell phone rings and it’s the doctor’s office.  

I guess they ignored my request to call my cell.

I head outside so the call won’t drop.  

I am told that my doctor is on vacation, but my request has been evaluated by another doctor.  

And this is where things got weird.  

I am told that there is no way the pain can be caused by my knee.  

I am told that if it were a real issue that it wouldn’t “mysteriously” be gone in the morning.  

I am told that perhaps it’s a nerve issue.  

I am told that I can only have 6 pills, that’s all I am getting.  

And I’m told this,  three more times before the call ends. 

I’m told that I am only getting Oxycodine at least three other times.  

I’m told that I really should have contacted my primary care physician.  

He confirms my pharmacy and tells me again that I am only getting 6 pills.  

He then tells me that there is no way the pain occurs when I lie down and goes away when I get up, which is strange because it’s been that way for almost a year now.   

There is more weirdness. 

Finally, the call ends. 

And I feel like a drug addict.  

Without using the words I’ve been made to feel like I’m shopping for drugs.  

Let’s break this down for you.

First, if this ploy has been to shop for drugs it’s the longest con in the history of cons.  

I’ve been seeing my knee doctor for more than 6 years.  I never asked for anything, until last December when things got really bad.  Even then.  Only at night.  For sleep. 

Every time I see him, including last Thursday I ask if it’s safe to take the medicine I do have.  I’m terrified of being addicted.  

And truly, addicts can be tricky.  I mean, I managed to fuck up my knee, get bone on bone arthritis, a torn meniscus, with a piece of the meniscus floating around in there, with bone-on-bone bruising, and it’s fucking fractured all so 6 years later I can con them for pain meds. 

It’s a seriously long fucking con.  

Here’s the thing Adam pointed out to me.  

I am more tolerant of pain than anyone I know.  

I lay in bed for two days with a stomach ache without going to the hospital.  When I got to the hospital, I was in the hallway in a pair of boxer shorts, that I had pooped, still with no pain medicine, waiting to be treated. (2003 at St. Vincent’s Hospital). 

I got nothing for my pain until I was put under for surgery.

My appendix had burst. 

I have been given Oxycodine, many, many times.  For my oral surgery.  For surgery on my butt.  For my gall bladder.   I’ve taken one of those pills in the entire time.  Because the nurse told me after my glad bladder not to be a hero and just do it.  I took one.  

In fact, we just got rid of four bottles of the pills in February.  With only one missing.  

When I broke my foot, I walked home two miles on it, without a tear.    

I tolerate pain.  

Most of you’d say you are at a 10 when I’m at a 4.  

Adam assured me that I’d have never reached out Friday or today if I weren’t suffering.  

I even asked today, is there something else that I can do?  Ice?  Heat?  Wrap it.  

At no time, did I ever believe the guy thought I actually had any pain.  

And the icing on the cake. 

He confirmed my pharmacy information.

I texted Adam and asked if he could please, please, please sneak out of work to pick it up.  

When he got there.

No prescription.

I should have known, CVS texts me when it is phoned in and again when it’s ready.  

I took my time coming home tonight because turning off the light to go to bed scares me.  

I can’t suffer through another night of this.  

I have slept about 4 hours each of the last three nights.  

I don’t want to not sleep tonight because it’s my day off tomorrow and I want to enjoy it.  

I’ve also caught myself being grumpy at work, because I’m fucking tired.  

And I don’t want to call again tomorrow and be treated like a criminal.  

I do have an appointment with my knee doctor on Thursday, who will be back from vacation.

But once again, I don’t want to go and be told I’m crazy.

After my phone call today, I googled, can shin and ankle pain be caused by arthritis in the knee? 

Can knee arthritis cause shin and calf pain?

“Yes, calf pain and knee pain are usually linked to some degree. If you have arthritis, you may experience pain the radiates from the knee to the calf. Arthritic joint discomfort is primarily caused by inflammation.”

I didn’t go to medical school, but seriously I’m not stupid.  

And I really think it’s because the pain in my knee has gotten much worse in the last month and I can feel my gait has changed.  I= hobble and tense the left leg, which is probably putting stress on the calf muscle, the shin and the ankle.  

But you know, it has nothing to do with the knee.