I’d like to speak to the manager.

We have regulars.

Who are the worst if the worst.

The come late.

They treat the staff like crap.

And everyone. And I mean everyone hates them.

They were in tonight.

They are difficult beyond compare.

They don’t order anything as it comes.

Special prep this.

Special prep that.

And what sucks is that we tell everyone else no.

Meanwhile.

They are mediocre tippers.

And.

Tonight they asked for their three bottles of wine on a separate check. Paid it. And left a big fat 0 on the tip line.

I’m running out of servers to wait on them.

I’d really love to have the server, next time they are in, drop the bottle of wine on the table, with a wine key, 4 plastic cups, and say enjoy.

The server fetches the wine. Presents, and opens the wine. Pours the wine. Keeps the glasses topped off. Polishes the glasses. Sets the table. Clears the table.

It’s ridiculous.