I’d like to speak with the manager!!!

As of the Wednesday, after Memorial Day, we have been opening at 4:30.

For the past two summers, by 4:30 there are 10 cars in the lot, waiting to come in.

If we get those 20+ people in seats at 4:30 then we can add more covers to the total for the night.

Today we opened at 4:30. 

We had three tables sat almost right away.

I noticed a group of people coming in, and I knew we had no more reservations till 5:00, so I headed to the host stand.  

I get there, just as the host turns and says, here he is now.

I say, hello, how I can I help you.

And the man in front of me says, “What do you think about 14 people?”

I ask him to clarify.

He says we are a party of 14 can we get seated.

I look at the I-pad, but I already know the answer.

I apologize and say, unfortunately, no.  We can’t accommodate 14 people tonight.

But it’s right at open.  Surely there is room

Unfortunately, no.

What about if we split up. 

Unfortunately, no.

Are you sure?

Yes, unfortunately no.

And then he said:  WHY NOT?  

I say excuse me?

He says, why not.  Why can’t you seat us.  

I truly wish, I’d just said, because I said so.  

But instead, I said.

Well, first off any party over 8 triggers a pre-fixe menu and that would have needed to be arranged well before now, with me, the servers and the chef.

2^nd, the Gallery where we can put a party of 14 is closed tonight, (we were filming a TV thing today) and even if it weren’t closed, we don’t have staff out there because we didn’t have any large parties on the books.

3^rd, the patio isn’t staffed for a 14 top, because it’s going to rain in 2 hours, 

4^th, we can’t split you up because the dining room is fully booked until 7:30 tonight. 

So, NO, we can’t accommodate you.

He was ANNOYED.

It was the I can’t believe you are going to turn away business attitude.

Fun fact, that I’ve discussed several times today.

We say no to business all the time.

And I do mean all the time.

We always make the decision that is best for the restaurant, long before we make a decision for the guest. 

It might seem counterintuitive to not say yes to everyone.  

But that is not the case.

And I dare say, it’s true in most businesses.  

That not every offer to accommodate a business deal is a good one.  

So, I turned away the 14-top.

And I really wish I’d said, because I said so.  

I’d like to speak with the manager!!!

Okay.

First.

Thank you to everyone who has reached out over the past three days to check on me.  

I’m fine.  

I think.  

I got into bed last night around 2:00 and was worried that as soon as I pulled the covers over me, my knee, ankle and leg would start to hurt.  

There was nothing.  

Nada.  

Zilch.

We turned out the light and the next thing I knew Adam as asking why I set my alarm for my day off. 

I told him and it is true, because I didn’t want to sleep the day away.  

I did however, reset the alarm for 12:30 and did go back to sleep.

I finally got up around 1:00.  

I stepped on the floor only to discover my foot was asleep. 

I shook it.

There was no tingling.

I shook it again.  

No tingling. 

I hobbled into my office.

My foot was numb.  Asleep.  No tingling.  

I showered and it was still numb.

It’s now 12:30 tonight and it’s still numb.  

I can feel the ball of my foot.  I cannot feel anything to the left of my big toe on my left foot.  

Completely numb.

It’s made walking tricky today.

Couple that with intense pain in my knee, my ankle and now my calf feels like I’ve just had the charley horse of all charley horses.  

Today, June 13^th, is the first day since October that I’ve thought I might not make it through the summer with my knee.  

I ran a couple of errands today.

Then met my friends Bob and Jen and Michelle and Lisa to have dinner and see a play.  

Getting in to dinner was a struggle.

Getting up the two flights of stairs to our balcony seats was a struggle.  

Getting down to the restroom after the show was a struggle.  

I’m in my office now.

Sitting still.

My calf is fucking tight.  Like just I ran a marathon tight.

I called the doctor again today.  He is still out of town.

The assistant was about as helpful as he was yesterday.

Fun fact, they still haven’t called in my pain meds.  

They truly want me to believe the numbness in my foot has nothing to do with the bones that I can feel crunching together every time I move my left leg.  

I still have an appointment on Thursday.  I have asked Adam to go with me, as I sometimes don’t advocate for myself as loudly and forcibly as I should.  

In the meantime, I am going to work tomorrow and try to get through the day.

Keep your fingers crossed that I don’t lose feeling in my whole foot and fall down a flight of steps.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

No really.  

Can I speak with the manager!!!

Today is Monday.  Was Monday.  

For the past three nights I’ve been kept awake by my knee.   Pain radiating from my knee to my shin, my calf and my ankle.  

Friday night was horrible. 

So horrible that I took 2 of the pain pills I have with no luck.  It didn’t touch it.  

I had also had two bourbons one before, one after the pain pills.  I was miserable.  

Around 4:00 a.m. I actually called my doctor.  I didn’t know what to expect on a Saturday morning at 4:00, but I was desperate.  I left a message.  They called back around 5:30.  I remember talking to them but I couldn’t tell you anything I said.  I’d been asleep by the time they called, and with the medicine and the bourbon I was out of it.  

I felt off all day on Saturday.  

Saturday night around 3:00 a.m. the pain was back.  

I didn’t take anything stronger than Advil and Tylenol on Saturday night.   

For the 2^nd night in a row, my knee kept me awake not to mention Adam who couldn’t sleep because I kept tossing and turning.  

Last night was the worst of the three.  

I spent about 60 minutes in bed before I moved to the couch.  

I couldn’t get comfortable. 

The pain was intense. 

I finally fell asleep on the couch and woke up around 5:30. I moved to the bed.  Fell asleep and the next thing I knew the alarm was going off at 11:30.  

When I got in the car today, I called my doctor.  

Someone answered and I let them know that I had new pain.  Different than before.   It was emanating from my knee but was focused in my shin, calf and ankle.  

It also only starts once I get into bed, and had dissipates by the time I get up.  

I needed something to allow me to sleep as I had not slept in three days.  

I was told someone would get back to me.  

It was 12:05.  

At 4:00 no one had called back.  

I called again.  

Got someone who was just answering the phone.  

She found the notes and told me that they’d decided it was a primary physician issue.  

I asked how my knee was getting referred back to my PCP.  I also asked why no one had called to let me know this.  And I asked why I my PCP had not been notified since it was the same practice.  

She took my information and told me someone would call back.  I gave her my work number as I don’t get service on my cell at work.   

At 5:00 my cell phone rings and it’s the doctor’s office.  

I guess they ignored my request to call my cell.

I head outside so the call won’t drop.  

I am told that my doctor is on vacation, but my request has been evaluated by another doctor.  

And this is where things got weird.  

I am told that there is no way the pain can be caused by my knee.  

I am told that if it were a real issue that it wouldn’t “mysteriously” be gone in the morning.  

I am told that perhaps it’s a nerve issue.  

I am told that I can only have 6 pills, that’s all I am getting.  

And I’m told this,  three more times before the call ends. 

I’m told that I am only getting Oxycodine at least three other times.  

I’m told that I really should have contacted my primary care physician.  

He confirms my pharmacy and tells me again that I am only getting 6 pills.  

He then tells me that there is no way the pain occurs when I lie down and goes away when I get up, which is strange because it’s been that way for almost a year now.   

There is more weirdness. 

Finally, the call ends. 

And I feel like a drug addict.  

Without using the words I’ve been made to feel like I’m shopping for drugs.  

Let’s break this down for you.

First, if this ploy has been to shop for drugs it’s the longest con in the history of cons.  

I’ve been seeing my knee doctor for more than 6 years.  I never asked for anything, until last December when things got really bad.  Even then.  Only at night.  For sleep. 

Every time I see him, including last Thursday I ask if it’s safe to take the medicine I do have.  I’m terrified of being addicted.  

And truly, addicts can be tricky.  I mean, I managed to fuck up my knee, get bone on bone arthritis, a torn meniscus, with a piece of the meniscus floating around in there, with bone-on-bone bruising, and it’s fucking fractured all so 6 years later I can con them for pain meds. 

It’s a seriously long fucking con.  

Here’s the thing Adam pointed out to me.  

I am more tolerant of pain than anyone I know.  

I lay in bed for two days with a stomach ache without going to the hospital.  When I got to the hospital, I was in the hallway in a pair of boxer shorts, that I had pooped, still with no pain medicine, waiting to be treated. (2003 at St. Vincent’s Hospital). 

I got nothing for my pain until I was put under for surgery.

My appendix had burst. 

I have been given Oxycodine, many, many times.  For my oral surgery.  For surgery on my butt.  For my gall bladder.   I’ve taken one of those pills in the entire time.  Because the nurse told me after my glad bladder not to be a hero and just do it.  I took one.  

In fact, we just got rid of four bottles of the pills in February.  With only one missing.  

When I broke my foot, I walked home two miles on it, without a tear.    

I tolerate pain.  

Most of you’d say you are at a 10 when I’m at a 4.  

Adam assured me that I’d have never reached out Friday or today if I weren’t suffering.  

I even asked today, is there something else that I can do?  Ice?  Heat?  Wrap it.  

At no time, did I ever believe the guy thought I actually had any pain.  

And the icing on the cake. 

He confirmed my pharmacy information.

I texted Adam and asked if he could please, please, please sneak out of work to pick it up.  

When he got there.

No prescription.

I should have known, CVS texts me when it is phoned in and again when it’s ready.  

I took my time coming home tonight because turning off the light to go to bed scares me.  

I can’t suffer through another night of this.  

I have slept about 4 hours each of the last three nights.  

I don’t want to not sleep tonight because it’s my day off tomorrow and I want to enjoy it.  

I’ve also caught myself being grumpy at work, because I’m fucking tired.  

And I don’t want to call again tomorrow and be treated like a criminal.  

I do have an appointment with my knee doctor on Thursday, who will be back from vacation.

But once again, I don’t want to go and be told I’m crazy.

After my phone call today, I googled, can shin and ankle pain be caused by arthritis in the knee? 

Can knee arthritis cause shin and calf pain?

“Yes, calf pain and knee pain are usually linked to some degree. If you have arthritis, you may experience pain the radiates from the knee to the calf. Arthritic joint discomfort is primarily caused by inflammation.”

I didn’t go to medical school, but seriously I’m not stupid.  

And I really think it’s because the pain in my knee has gotten much worse in the last month and I can feel my gait has changed.  I= hobble and tense the left leg, which is probably putting stress on the calf muscle, the shin and the ankle.  

But you know, it has nothing to do with the knee.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Some people are only happy when they are miserable.

We had a reservation tonight for a table of four.

I didn’t notice the name until the first person arrived.

He let us know that she is the owner of a business in town and eats here all the time.

She indeed owns a business in town.

She in fact does not eat here all the time.

She dines with us twice a year.

And she’s horrible every time she comes in.

Last time she yelled at me because I didn’t give her the table she wanted.

Tonight she especially kind to the server.

How you ask?

By criticizing the restaurant for the whole meal.

The server only told me a couple of stories.

My favorite was that she was angry we don’t have baked potatoes. I mean it’s really not that hard to bake a potato. Or make rice pilaf.

She’s oblivious when the server explains our concept.

She continues that people who eat steak like baked potatoes.

I tell the server to ask if we buy shoes in her retail store.

People like to buy shoes.

Or perhaps a cordless drill.

I mean she owns a retail store.

She should cater to everyone.

Meanwhile.

She’s miserable.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Do not.

I repeat do not.

Wait.

Back story.

Any restaurant deals with lots of vendors.

Some we do business with.

A lot of them are hustling for business.

I don’t envy them. I’d be a horrible sakes person.

Someone would tell me know and I’d say okay great.

A lot of the people we do business with I’ve known for years. I consider them friends.

So.

I haven’t ever commented.

But here’s two requests.

Do not show up at the host stand at 5:15 on Friday wanting to taste your beers.

Fun fact. We are open.

The chef/owner is cooking.

And I appreciate you going to your car to get an info sheet.

I filed it in the trash can at the host stand.

And for your sake, never, ever, come in to my restaurant and taste your rum with the 22 year old bartender who has no purchasing authority and no decision making authority.

You are now facilitating an employee drinking on the job.

Even if it’s just a few sips.

And we are certainly never buying your product now.

Also I don’t think it’s cool that you poured your rum into a container that you brought in that was unlabeled, unsealed, and left it with the bartender.

Please.

Do not do these things.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This is a Public Service Announcement.

Do not.

I repeat do not.

Go into a business at 6:57, that closes at 7:00 and order drinks for the three of you and take an hour and fifteen minutes to drink them.

And for the love of god do not tip 12% when you do do this.

And please don’t apologize for drinking slowly.

No one cares.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This isn’t really a restaurant post.

However.

A year ago, an employees mom passed away.

Someone at work suggested we take up a collection to send flowers.

I interceded and shared a story with my staff.

When my dad passed away. We had tons of plants and flowers.

The only person I remeber doing so is my friend Michelle because I still have the plant.

It was 20 years ago.

I just realized that May 17th it had been 20 years.

When my mom passed we asked for no flowers and suggested donations to hospice.

However, someone showed up at our reception not empty handed.

My friend Tonya Hougland Merritt came with a bottle of Basil Hayden.

And it was appreciated.

It was needed.

And I remember the kindness to this day.

And so when my employees mom passed away I suggested we do something other than flowers.

Something that he’d remember.

So an employee suggested Red Sox tickets.

So instead of sending a floral arrangement.

We arranged for home plate tickets to a Red Sox game.

He was surprised by the gift.

And loved it.

And he’ll remember the game.

Which honored his mom.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Witnessed a first tonight.

Table 12.

Server approaches the table and begins to take their order.

She gets their app order.

Their phone rings.

While the server is speaking to them.

Without even an excuse me, they answer and spend the next ten or so minutes facetiming with someone.

With the volume at full.

No apology.

No anything.

Just hucking it up on the phone so all of us can hear.

I don’t understand people.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Was standing in the wait station tonight and witnessed an exchange between a server and her table.

The table was French Canadian.

Three top.

The daughter orders a drink.

She is carded.

She is not 21.

The mother is nice but says the following.

For the life of me I don’t understand why you cannot drink until your 21 but when you are 18 you can walk into a store and buy a gun.

The server says she understands but explains the liability of liquor laws.

Meanwhile I’m thinking that in the states it’s illegal even to give a 17 year old an adult beverage and yet half the south sends out photos of their six year holding their first gun.

The mother was not wrong.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was very tired, because it was very late when I wrote last night’s post. I’m not sure what I was trying to say.

It’s Sunday night.

Tomorrow night is my first Monday shift of the summer.

I’ve found that if I stop counting hours and stop counting days and stop counting weeks it doesn’t seem such a daunting task to work 18 six hour weeks.

That being said, it’s going to be a long summer.

Tonight was a great shift.

I was able to take a breath. Breathe deep. And remember why I do what I do, and why sometimes I think I’m good at it.

This morning on the way to work, Adam reminded me that no one comes to work to do a bad job. They are just kids. Doing the best they can.

Tonight a bartender pointed out to me that I’d been using the term strive for perfection, when we really want to strive for professionalism. When you strive for perfection you are setting yourself up for failure.

I also know, from years of therapy, and emulating the opposite of what I grew up with, that a lot of what you go through during the day, the week, the month, the year is a choice.

YOU get to choose how you respond. You get to choose how you interpret the situation. You get to decided your mood. You get to decide.

Today, when I got up. After 6.5 hours of sleep.

I chose to not be tired.

I chose to be in a good mood.

I chose to be happy.

I chose to stop being frustrated with my team.

I chose to have fun.

And I heard Adam’s voice in my head as I started the dinner shift.

Pre-shift was laid back.

I still got the messages across that I needed to get across.

And at 4:30 we were off to the races.

We started opening at 4:30 this week. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea, but the last three days we’ve sat about 30 people each day by 5:00. Today we sat 10 walk-ins before 4:45.

I spent my night coaching and counseling. To quote my friend Laura.

Instead of being frustrated. I challenged myself to fix the frustrations.

So I met with the host team and gave them notes, direction, answered questions, updated them on new policies.

And the night went well.

I did the same with the food runners.

I had fun.

I also managed the floor for the first time in a bit, and worried less about the door.

It allowed me to see service, and chat with guests.

It was truly a different shift.

I also left early.

When I left at 8:00 to go to the new restaurant to close up, I did not go back to work.

By 8:40 I was on my way to Portland.

On the drive home, I was able to speak with my good friend Laura. We used to chat 4 times a week. But she works days nows, and I work nights. Our days don’t mesh. It’s been almost a month since we’ve spoken.

We talked for 90 minutes tonight.

Finally someone to vent to.

She offered a lot of advice. And support. And love.

She reminded me that opening a new restaurant is like giving birth. It hurts like hell, but eventually there is a payoff.

She reminded me that sometimes I’m too hard on myself.

She also reminded me that I can do this. I have the talent. And just to keep breathing. Keep at it. Cross things off your list and just keep moving forward.

She reminded me that I like teaching. I like training. And to turn to that passion when things get frustrating, and challenging.

Most of all she reminded me that I am human. The cracks are going to show sometime. You are going to disappoint people sometime. You are going to get frustrated. You are going to lose your cool. You are going to make a wrong decision. You are going to make mistakes. You are going to drop the balls you have in the air.

All of those things are okey.

Keep your chin up. Take care of yourself. Breathe.

You’ll get through it.

You have before.

You will again.