I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I’m loving The Bear.

It’s good TV. Great acting. Excellent directing. And the scenery is amazing.

I’m on episode 5 of season 2.

Im excited to get to the service starting of the new restaurant.

I can’t help but think back to my theater friends who were visibly angry watching Smash 13 years ago.

Smash was teaching young people falsehoods about the theater world.

Well let me tell you if that’s true of Smash, The Bear is going to bankrupt a whole generation of young chefs.

Tonight’s episode started letting us know they are six weeks out.

I can’t speak to Chicago.

But you can’t get a liquor license until you have a certificate of occupancy.

You can’t get a certificate of occupancy until you have a health inspection.

You can’t get a health inspection until you have a kitchen.

You can’t get a kitchen till you have walls, electric, and plumbing.

6 weeks.

They are choosing china.

Yes. Plates can cost 55 bucks a piece.

But if it’s 6 weeks out they aren’t going to open because they won’t have dishware. We still have things we are waiting on for delivery.

They haven’t ordered furniture.

Fun fact.

The chairs in our dining room were Chef’s 74th choice.

He’d make a choice and then:

They only have them in white.

They are in stock but cost 847 bucks a piece.

There are only 17 in stock.

There are 50 in stock but can’t be delivered till October.

They look great but their weight limit is 150 pounds.

They have wooden legs.

This was a real thing.

Tables took longer.

And have you chosen light fixtures? Paint. Wall coverings? Toilets? Urinals?

Fuck.

If you haven’t ordered the black Amex books they give you your check in you won’t have them before you open.

And 6 weeks out and they don’t have a menu.

What’s the concept. What’s the point of view.

That’s like being six weeks out on a play and youve not chosen a script.

And if there’s no menu there’s no wine list.

And wine is even trickier.

It involves day after day of tasting.

Determining what compliments the menu.

And then determining if it’s the right price point.

And once again can you get it.

We’ve printed out drink menu twice in the last 6 weeks because the inventory isn’t available.

Without a menu you can’t plan our your kitchen set up. Your prep. Your execution.

You can’t even know how many people to hire.

Speaking of hiring.

If it’s 6 weeks out and you haven’t hired a GM yet you are behind the 8 ball.

And you should have started interviewing from of house staff.

What are uniforms. Aprons?

Have you laid out your menu?

Signed up for a POS? Programmed it.

Reservation system? Programmed it.

Do you have a training plan for this star rated restaurant?

Have you secured vendors?

Linens?

Chemicals?

Booze?

Produce?

Protein?

Seafood?

Paper products?

Trash pick up?

Credit card processing?

Phone system?

Music?

Recycling?

Your restaurant is not going to be open in 6 weeks.

When you don’t even have electricity yet.

And.

To pay back 800,000 in 18 months you have to have after expenses 44,444 dollars each month from the start. 65,000 if it’s 6 months later.

The odds of a new restaurant having that kind of money at the end of each month in what is probably an 80 seat restaurant is not likely.

And no restaurant starts at capacity.

So I’m going to predict that Clair the ER doctor takes out a loan to cover the expenses so they don’t lose the real estate.

And 4 months from now they open to soft sales with lots of promise.

PS. I truly do love the show. And it’s no more outlandish than any other realistic drama. Law and order. Grey’s anatomy. Smash. 911. Blue bloods. Nashville.

All of these are or have been guilty pleasures.

And I’m excited to finish The Bear in the next week or so.

And please.

No spoilers.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Last night Chef sent me a screenshot of a bad 1 star review we got.

It was from a woman, who said she’d dined with us. Didn’t have her gift card and presented us with the receipt. She was denied the ability to use it and she and her husband were treated like criminals.

I actually thought it was from a week or so ago.

But alas I got an email today:

I am hoping you can help me resolve a complaint I have. I bought a gift card for my father for Father’s Day. Please see below for the receipt. He and my mother went for dinner last night and loved their meal (see pic below), but when they went to use the gift certificate, they were told they couldn’t use it, even though they had a printed copy of the receipt below and even though they called me on the phone from the restaurant to confirm for the wait person that they weren’t trying to rip anyone off. My father couldn’t locate the receipt on his email on his phone and the wait person wouldn’t let them use the gift certificate. She said that she needed a 12 digit code in order to let them use it. When I asked her if I could have my money back, she said I could come in and use the gift certificate, but obviously I would run into the same problem as I don’t have the code, either. Frankly, I was appalled and aggravated and she told me to escalate this to you.

We have a cottage at Goose Rocks and have been coming there our entire lives and my parents had been looking forward to going to your restaurant all summer. They are the least likely people on the planet to try and scam a free dinner. Unfortunately, they were made to feel like criminals and were very embarrassed by the whole situation and ended up spending $140 of their own money (They don’t drink, so without alcohol, this seems quite expensive for a dinner for 2). I could have gotten them a gift card somewhere else, but they really wanted to try Lost Fire. Oh well.

Long story short, I thought you should be aware of this, as this seems like an unfair practice (the lawyer in me is coming out). Please refund me the $100 for the gift certificate immediately. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Well.

Let’s break this down for those of you who didn’t go to law school.

They presented a purchase receipt.

They did not present a gift card.

I can’t use a receipt to pay the check.

I need the 16 digit code.

I can’t know for sure but I don’t think my staff treated your parents like criminals.

However, your parents got angry. And insisted they be allowed to come back tomorrow to pay for their meal with the gift card.

This might be what caused them to question what was happening.

Yes. We do have your gift card in our system.

But it was a busy night in July.

And.

Last night there was no one to look up the card as I was at our new restaurant.

As for being expensive.

Two people dining at a steak house for $140 is not expensive.

Of course the meal would have been more expensive if they had tipped.

But they did not.

As for the lawyer in you.

They should have covered business law in your first year of law school.

In that course they should have taught you that payment is required to purchase goods and services.

They should have taught you that we entered into a contractual agreement with you when you purchased the gift card that we would trade you 100 dollars in product when the card was presented.

You did not present the card thus you had to pay for the goods.

They probably covered the legality of using intimidation tactics to threaten a person or business into giving you something you didn’t pay for.

And last but not least.

It’s 100 dollars.

You are a lawyer.

I know this because you told me you are.

I’m a general manager of a restaurant.

100 bucks is a drop in the bucket to me.

I’m not a lawyer.

I don’t have a fancy law degree.

If you can’t afford to give your parents a 100 dollar bill then you need to aim higher.

Also.

100 dollars for your elderly father for an expensive dinner when you are a lawyer is kind of lame.

But once again.

What do I know?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Adam and I have the same job.

We’ll at least the same job title.

Our jobs are very different.

Where they are very much alike is that something always goes wrong.

So we can get lost in complaining about things during the 12 minutes we get to talk each day.

Last week after a couple of hard days I started to complain and Adam interrupted and said tell me something good that happened today.

Without a thought I told him. something.

I don’t remember what it was.

On Monday, we were texting and I started to complain, and instead I typed… tell me something good.

And he did. And suddenly my day seemed better.

Today was particularly hard.

Very.

Fucking.

Hard.

No specifics.

But.

I reached out and said tell me something good.

And he did.

And.

It takes the air out of the sails of what’s gone wrong.

It lets the other one know it was hard day but we aren’t focusing on it.

We don’t have to say it.

Instead we focus on the good.

When I got home tonight I spent about 90 seconds telling him about my day.

Then quickly switched to tell me something good.

What happened that was good today?

I got help on a project.

I got two days worth of tips input.

I got to chat with lots of amazing people.

I turned some problems around.

And service at the new restaurant continues to get easier.

Lots of good things happened today!

What good things happened in your life today?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Things I thought I might write about tonight!

How table 21 is possessed by evil.

How a table ordered 7 things that aren’t on our menu.

How the old people at table 55 cancelled their order, as it was being plated, because it was taking too long. All the while their kids and grandkids protested with the son saying as he paid for the drinks, I don’t know where or what we are supposed to eat now.

How a candidate I interviewed for AGM today showed up during service, ordered a glass of wine and wanted to chat about POS systems.

How I made my first cosmo in years. And it was sent back.

How I had friends that I met 10 years ago at David’s the night Laura Ray turned the lights off in the dining room show up to see me at the bar. I had not seen them since 2018.

But no.

In the shower tonight I realized I had to discuss table 23.

Table 23.

Who arrived late.

Asked the host while they were being seated if we had a window seat.

I’m glad it wasn’t me because I’d have said do you see one? There wasn’t an empty table to be had.

Instead you were sat at table 23. Triple seating the server.

Then you were annoyed the server was slow getting to you.

Then you ordered a glass of wine that took a while because I only had one bartender tonight.

You then asked the server a question about the ceviche.

Then you insulted her when she didn’t know the answer.

So to prove your point, you asked to speak with me.

You reminded me that I know you, or actually your son, and the. Asked me the same question about the ceviche.

Which I couldn’t answer.

Should I know?

Of course.

But the day we went over these things I was writing a schedule.

I found out the answer. Sent the information with the server.

But you continued to chastise her for the rest of your meal.

At one point asking her how long she’d been waiting tables and insulting her when she answered over 2” years.

For the rest of the meal you hated everything.

The ceviche was too spicy.

You stalled the French fries sad.

You said the flower arrangements were horrible.

You mentioned a dozen times how much better the old restaurant is.

And then I was busy in the kitchen so couldn’t speak to you on your way out.

And then because you can’t buy class you wrote a horrible note on the bottom of your credit card slip and left 10%.

I’ll repeat you can’t buy class.

But here’s my take.

Yes we both should have known the answer. But you’re holding a smart phone. Look up the answer don’t abuse my staff.

Yes the old restaurant is better. It’s 5 weeks from being 5 years old.

4.9 years ago but was not. From what I’ve been told the word shit show would have been generous.

It was figured out.

The new restaurant will be figured out.

The only way to figure it out is by doing what we are doing.

Big restaurants have the money to figure it out first.

Small restaurants do not.

But.

Don’t be a dick.

Don’t be mean.

And

When all else fails be nice.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Fun things from the last two days.

An 8 top shows up with 11 people. Who does this?

A 14 top shows up with three reservations.

A man who came to give us a quote on replacing our awnings came to dinner tonight. I was called to the table where his wife informed me our food was gross. Her word.

I was chastised for not having the previous restaurants seafood stew on the menu. This took 20 minutes of my evening.

My host was yelled at because our menu is not posted on line.

A man got upset because his 6 years olds house made adult size portion of pasta with butter was $24. I got vetoed on not serving it at all.

A woman sitting at the bar got upset because I couldn’t guarantee a window seat for a 7:30 reservation two weeks from now.

The awning guy was angry because he didn’t get a window table at 6:30.

A table yelled at me because their red wine was chilled. And suggested the temperature it should be set at. Which was 4 degrees colder than our wine fridge.

A woman got upset because she couldn’t have a booth. It was our only four top table left and it was waiting on a four top. She was a two top.

Another table asks if there are any window seats. There were not. They were sitting at the only open table.

A woman suggested we serve a seafood dish that her favorite seafood restaurant in Arizona serves.

A woman got angry because when you go to the website it says we are closed. It’s the old website. For the old business. We don’t own it. We can’t change it.

The police show up. Telling me they are about to tow a Maserati. It’s parked in front of a neighbors driveway. The woman is pissed when I find her. I tell her to take it up with the cop.

All in the last 24 hours.

How was your day.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Can I offer a piece of advice/suggestion/commentary?

Bread should be served complimentary to every guest. We shouldn’t have to ask for it. And it’s not a good look to charge for it.

You should really have regular shaped martini glasses. We don’t like coupes.

You should really serve soft shelled crabs.

You should really buy your oysters from the guys over there.

These flower arrangemts are just dust collectors.

The filet should be served with a garnish and a little side of vegetables.

You should have more than three desserts.

The bar should always be first come first serve.

The music should be more jazz less of this techno.

We shouldn’t have to ask for a window table.

Why don’t you serve a steamed lobster?

You should serve Fever Tree tonic not off the gun.

You need a better wine lists than this. There should be a big, buttery, okey Chardonnay from California.

We love seafood but what’s this ceviche, crudo, carpaccio stuff.

Your menu should be listed on line.

Your menu should offer onion strings.

Your menu should offer a blueberry smash.

You should save certain tables for locals.

Is this like the worst table in the restaurant.

You should fix the kitchen door I can see into the kitchen when it opens.

You shouldn’t turn this table at an angle. People want to sit across from each other.

Can I offer you some advice. You prices are to expensive and the entrees don’t come with anything.

Your bread is burnt. It tastes smoky.

It’s should not be called creamed spinach it should be called steamed spinach.

That was not pavlova. I make pavlova and that was not pavlova.

Why don’t you have steamers. Every Maine restaurant should have steamers.

It’s loud in here. It’s because of the windows. You should get coverings for them to dampen the sound.

We’d like to sit on the patio. What do you mean you don’t have a patio.

Why do I have to valet park?

The valet should be complimentary you shouldn’t charge to park. (It is).

You should offer take out for the locals.

You should offer happy hour for the locals.

Your servers should clear the tables so fast.

You should train your staff on gin.

Your food is too salty.

Your food isn’t seasoned enough.

The lamb chops are too small.

The mussels are too big.

The whole fish had the head.

I should be able to sit anywhere I like at the bar.

And I didn’t want to make the server cry but it should have been better.

I could go on. And on. And on.

Every night.

Can I offer some suggestions.

Tonight a woman said she was never coming back.

Worst dining experience every.

I suggested that was a might strong statement for a three week old restaurant.

She back pedaled all the whole telling me she lived here.

Well

For a couple of weeks each year.

Would you like to make some suggestions.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

We are moving fast through the summer!!!

Fast I tell you!

But.

Not fast enough.

Tonight was a fun one.

Since we took on the new restaurant I’ve joked that it’s 1.2 miles away from the old restaurant.

It’s 4.5 minutes, driving 25 mph.

Until tonight I’ve never been summoned.

Around 7:30 my phone rings.

I’ve told my staff to call because I might not hear a text.

Unfortunately I can’t answer as I’m trying to get our new bartender out of the weeds.

6 or 7 minutes later I call back.

My host answers and says that a party of 4 men (she gives me the name, because I know them) has been causing trouble.

They came to the outside bar and were upset that the bartender wouldn’t serve them. He was busy and he said they were already drink.

They arrived with solo cups.

In the middle of this conversation I get a text.

It’s Chef saying, I need you here ASAP.

I tell the host I’m on my way.

I tell the bartender that I’m going to the other restaurant and head to my car.

Fun fact.

We have a valet at the new restaurant who parks my car for me so I don’t have to walk.

Tonight I picked up my keys and got it myself.

I head to the new restaurant being careful not to speed.

The cops are tough around here.

I get there and the foursome are in the parking lot.

I get out and the guest says hello.

And I probably came in stronger than I should have but I say that they are unfortunately not going to be able to dine with us.

I’m told that they spoke to chef and all is good.

I say I’ll be right back.

I go to the kitchen window and it’s confirmed that he spoke with them but I should check with the outside team and see what they have to say.

I go out and am told they’d been cursing and aggressive and generally not nice.

I ask the hosts. The food runner. The bartender.

All the same story.

I go back to the parking lot, where I’m told they have decided not to dine with us anyway.

At which point one of the guys decides to let me know how bad I am at my job. I thank him for this

And the guy I know is stomping around cursing and angry.

And it becomes clear that the staff was not lying.

They guy criticizing continues. I should have soothed things over and apologized for the staffs issue.

I finally say based on this behavior that I’ve made the right decision to not let them dine.

They continue to criticize.

I repeat myself that I was right.

I go back in and check in with everyone

When I go back to my car they are still spewing.

I drive away.

I get to the new restaurant. Park. Go in.

I immediately go to the bar to dim the lights.

A threesome at the bar asks what that was about.

I start to explain but am interrupted by a server.

She lets me know that table 21 was angry at her.

They had ordered a bottle of wine, and now that it was open and they were drinking it, they insisted it was the wrong bottle.

She and another server explain their confusion, but confirm that it’s the right wine.

Fun fact: I’m bad at wine. I love, love, love drinking it. But there is no room in my brain for regions and varietals, and grapes, and blends, and tasting notes, and prices.

I’m the same with bourbon.

Love the product. Not the knowledge.

I send the server back with the information she needs.

She’s back three seconds later telling me that she’d been told to just stop talking, they’d heard enough. She was wrong and she was making it worse.

I’m at the table 20 seconds later.

I introduce myself and ask if I can help.

The man at seat four defers to his son at seat 2.

Seems he is a wine guy. He repeatedly told the server this.

He explains that they received the wrong wine. He continues but I stopped listening.

When he finishes I say, but you were presented with the wine, you tasted the wine, you approved the wine, the wine was poured and now you are drinking the wine.

I’m confused as to where the mistake was discovered

The man at seat 4 says his son discovered it, but he’s the one who tasted it.

I follow up with, but you are still drinking it.

He holds up his finger and says you are right. You are right. You are right. Usually the customer is right but tonight you are right.

He dismisses me.

30 minutes later he pays the bill at the bar.

He leaves the check there.

And he left 15 dollars on a 350 tab.

Fuck him.

I take 20 dollars out of my wallet and put it in the check presenter.

The threesome at the bar sees me and adds 30 bucks.

And now for the end of the story.

The bartender at the new restaurant got beat up tonight.

But all 9 guests at the bar at the end of the night were friends.

I got hugs and handshakes from all of them.

And I told them all that that that was exactly what I needed at the end of this particular night.

Hugs for everyone.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight around 7:00 a woman comes in and checks in for her reservation.

She reminds us that she has asked for a window table.

I apologize and say we had her scheduled to be at a window table but that table is still seated.

She says she’s going out to wait for her friends.

Meanwhile, the table we’d plan to put her at leaves.

We get it cleared and bussed and when she comes in she is excited to get the window seat.

The host seats her.

6 minutes later I walk through the dining room and I see that they have pulled the shade on the window blocking 75% of the view.

What can you say?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight I was walking through the dining room when a woman’s purse fell off the back of her chair.

I picked it up and handed it to her.

They were waiting on entrees and I said, you know after working in NYC for years I still catch myself not telling people not to leave their bags and purses hanging on their chairs. One second they’re there. Another they are gone.

The woman’s husband says it can happen anywhere.

I say yes but not as often as it did in New York.

He looks me in the eye and says it’s because Mainers carry guns.

I look back at him.

He gets a weird look in his eye and says.

Mainers carry guns and we know how to use them and we aren’t afraid to use them.

It was weird. And sinister. And completely uncalled for.

And to be honest I felt uneasy till they finally left an hour later.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I come out of the kitchen tonight and see someone I know. We converse for a few minutes and I realize there is a couple speaking with the host who are obviously waiting on me.

I approach and ask if I can help.

They are looking for an 8 top on Thursday night.

I echo what the host had told them that the most we can accommodate is 7.

He wants to know why.

I try to explain but he interrupts to ask if it’s because we don’t have availability.

I explain that no it’s because we don’t have a table that hold 8 people.

He then wants to know if the can just pull two tables together.

I say no.

He wants to know if they can have two separate 4 top reservations and I say no.

He wants to know why.

I try to explain but he just keeps getting louder and louder.

He then begins the inevitable speech about how we are turning away business.

He continues to get louder.

The woman who is with him asks three times if the can come in and just put their name on the wait.

I explain that we don’t run a wait list. We either have room for you. Or we don’t.

I explain this three times.

She doesn’t understand.

Finally they huff out but not before saying they’ve been told no by every restaurant the last two days.

I want to ask if this is a surprise trip to Maine? Or did you know 4 months ago and just not plan.

But I don’t.

I did explain to him why he don’t just take separate reservations and he kept telling me I was silly.

And I wanted to say my silliness is based on reality.

I’m also tired on explaining myself.

Businesses have rules.

The end.