I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This is a public service announcement.

Unless you are at a salad restaurant in NYC.

Unless you are at chipotle.

Unless you are at Burger King.

The menu is not a list of ingredients for you to pick and choose from.

It’s happened a lot but tonight a table ordered a plate of thinly sliced tomatoes, with fresh herbs, an Italian vinaigrette, kosher salt, and avocado.

The server came to ask what they should say.

I said, ask them show you on the menu what item they were ordering.

They asked if I was serious.

I said no.

But do tell them we can’t accommodate the request.

Often, if they are ballsy enough to order Ike this they’ll ask why not, as you have all the ingredients.

Our restaurant services 160 seats.

If we say yes to you, then we have to say yes to the other 159 people.

If we said yes to 159 people you’d get your food in about 90 minutes. Because every ticket has things we don’t have readily available in a station ready to use.

The same is true at the bar.

Don’t order a drink with fresh cucumbers or jalapeño unless it’s on the menu. Someone has to go fetch the items, cut the items and make the drink.

Now 159 other people are waiting for their drinks they ordered 6 hours ago.

Order off the menu.

They way it comes.

And at most ask to leave out an item.

But don’t build your own menu unless the menu says build your own burger, salad, burrito.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was called to a table last night because two of the guests hated the lobster roll.

I get there and they tell me that they are Mainers and this is NOT a lobster roll. Explaining that a lobster roll either has butter or Mayo and definitely does not have tarragon in it.

I ask them to explain.

And they continue that everyone wants a traditional lobster roll.

And I explain that the lobster shack next to us has a traditional lobster roll.

And.

That 7,429 restaurants in a 30 mile radius including McDonald’s has a traditional lobster roll.

We are not those restaurants.

We respect those restaurants.

We enjoy those restaurants.

I had a fried fish sandwich from next door last week.

But we are different.

And.

The menu tells you that we are different.

Embrace the difference.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

The locals continue to pour in.

An endless stream.

At 5:30 a woman walks in.

She says they are going to sit at the bar.

The host explains that we have reservations at the bar.

The woman says, that’s not possible our website says we don’t take reservations.

I interrupt and assure her that it does not say that.

She doubles down.

I assure her that that’s not the case.

She doubles down again and says we’ll since you just opened, and it’s empty in here I’m sure you’ll have room and she goes toward the bar.

I stop her and explain that although we are empty in 30 minutes we won’t be and therefore can’t accommodate her.

She is not pleased and storms out.

An hour later two men walk in, push past the host and say they are going to the bar.

The host says we take reservations at the bar.

They replay, that’s okay we are locals and we are just going to have a drink.

I interrupt and say, we take reservations at the bar. We are booked. You can’t sit at the bar.

They get pissed and leave.

Meanwhile a man is sitting at the bar who arrived at 4:45. He assured us he was just having a drink.

It’s now after 6:00 and he’s nowhere close to leaving.

He stayed over 2 hours.

Just for a drink.

And the stories continue.