I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Adam and I spent our “weekend” in Western Mass this weekend.   The Berkshires for those who don’t know.  It’s about four hours from Portland, and this is the 6^th or 7^th  time we’ve made the drive.  

We go to Barrington Stage Company to see their professional shows.  It started with Ragtime in 2017, and it’s continued with other shows that pique our interest.  This last time was to see Bernadette Peters and Next to Normal.  

We’ve always enjoy the shows, we enjoy the get away, and it’s more or less a 48 hour vacation which we always need in August or September after the intense summers that we have.

The other great thing about Western Mass is Mass MOCA is there and is an excellent contemporary art museum in an old mill, with incredible installations.  We often try to do both when we drive out.

This is all back story about whey we drive 4 hours to see theater in the middle of nowhere Mass.  

This past trip was especially fun, because I saw two friends from grad school at UCSD, and another friend from Kentucky.  The two friends from UCSD I knew would be there, the friend from Kentucky was a surprise. 

It was great catching up with all of them finding out what creative things they’d been up to, and sharing stories with Adam about the adventures of my past.  

Every time this happens, I walk away with a longing for times gone by.  Reminiscing about shows I’ve designed, creatives that I’ve worked with, and my days in the theater. This awakens something in me that has been mostly asleep for the past 11 years.  

However, before you get ahead of yourself…I DO NOT miss lighting.  I don’t miss the schedule.  I don’t miss the travel.  I don’t miss the deadlines.  I don’t miss it at all.  And if you’d told me 20 years ago I’d say that I’d have told you that you were crazy. 

I DO NOT miss it at all. 

What is awakened then???

The artistic outlet!

The collaborative art forms.  The discussion of art in general.  The discussion of concepts and ideas.  The breakdown of these ideas into smaller ideas that can be used to create art.  

I miss the intense discussions of what we saw and whether we appreciated the story telling.  Whether we understood the director’s choices, or whether the lighting designer, set designer, and costume designer got it right.  

I want to argue about art at 4:00 in the morning after 2 too many bourbons.  

I want to spend 90 minutes singing the praises of my friends who just finished producing ground breaking work.  

I want people to understand that Neil Simon and Andrew Lloyd Weber are just as important in the theater world as Stephen Sondheim and Tom Stoppard.  

I miss these conversations.  Adam and I have these conversations, but truth be told our tastes are similar, so there is rarely an argument.  We are both preaching to the choir. 

On Tuesday night, over drinks with my grad school friends, we chatted about our thoughts on the recent Broadway shows that we have seen.  Suffs.  The Notebook.  We all had our opinions.  There were things we liked.  Things we hated.  Things we disagreed on.  

And as I walked back to our hotel I was thinking about how much fun it would be to light a show for my friend Jen.  Which is true.  But more true was how much I enjoyed the conversation.  

I’ve spoken of the “bar” I ran in grad school.  The happy hours I hosted.  

These were the conversations we had at 2:00 in the morning.  What is the meaning of theater? What is theater?  Is football theater?  What makes a good director?  Does a play in a classroom with overhead fluorescent lighting need to credit a lighting designer?  Is performing in street clothes a costume choice?  

I could go on.  

I do NOT miss lighting. 

I DO miss talking about it. 

I DO miss collaborating. 

I DO miss the intense conversations at 2:00 in the morning.  

And goddam it, Neil Simon is hard to quote my friend Hilary on Tuesday night.  

The Notebook was a great experience.  

Suffs is a good play, made better by the fact that every college, high school and community theater will beproducing it in the coming years.  

And for me, yes football is theater.  It has two directors.  A costume designer.  Performers.  Underscoring.  An Intermission.  Scenery. Lighting.  Rules of engagement.  And people pay to see it.  And sometimes they even have standing ovations.  

Too many people stand up for shows that aren’t deserving these days.  And I feel compelled to stand up so that I can see the rest of curtain call.  

This is what I miss. I need more of it.

PS. I get equally excited about restaurant speak. That collaboration. That creative work. But truth be told I need both in my life.