Big. Blond. And beautiful.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Since I stopped running, after I broke my foot I’ve been over weight.

And for twenty years I’ve struggled with this fact.

On January 1, 2023 I told myself to say fuck it.

I’m too old to worry about it.

And so I said fuck it.

And a week ago, after my knee doctor appointment, I stepped on the scale and I was down 35 pounds.

And it happened without trying.

It’s really just stress.

Today I was asked at work what I wanted to eat.

I told them to surprise me.

I got a salad with grilled shrimp.

It was fucking delicious.

I took three bites.

2.5 hours later I realized that’s all I’d eaten.

Shrimp after 2.5 hours. No thanks.

I forget to eat.

Tonight I got home and there was no bread. I had pictured a peanut butter sandwich all the way home.

Actually I was going to go to Burger King but they were closed after some police event.

But I get home and there was no bread.

I was had for about 6 minutes till I reminded myself I was tired. Not mad.

My vegetable soup was delicious.

Meanwhile.

Not eating because if stress is not great.

But the side effects are.

No title.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Hi.

It’s me.

Your trusty very tired manager.

I had a friend reach out today and say NO. Really… how are you.

Truth is I’m great emotionally.

The adrenaline from the week is getting me through.

Physically.

My left foot is still numb. My new medicine seems to be helping my knee. It’s a solid 2.5 pain until the end of the day today.

The same friend was worried that my bartender who walked out eft us high and dry.

He did not.

He was 30 minutes into training.

Better after 30 minutes than 3 days.

Tonight a regular texts to see if they could come to the new restaurant. The downstairs restaurant.

They arrive 20 minutes later.

For upstairs.

They are just going to have a drink.

They were seated at 5:00.

At 6:30 they ordered the first course of their three course meal.

The left at 7:30.

Ugh.

At 10:00 tonight the front door opens. I hear it. I’m sitting at seat 1 at the bar.

I turn and it’s Martha and David.

They moved to Naples Florida last summer.

I got great big hugs.

We chatted about 30 minutes.

It felt good when they said they had called today and were confused when I didn’t answer the phone. They were worried I didn’t work there anymore.

They are coming to the new restaurant tomorrow. I told them to text me.

Speaking of texting.

I’ve given out my phone number to so many people this week I feel like I’m 23 again.

I’ve given up caring.

Chef arrived at 10:30.

Service at the old restaurant went great. Perhaps I’m not needed anymore.

However. We did toast that Friday was my two year anniversary.

Another person who has my cell texted tonight to see if they could come tonight.

I said yes.

Their experience was not perfect.

But they were so gracious.

Also he is very hot.

And he kept giving me hugs.

And his beard was against my face.

But mostly he kept saying he appreciated me.

From 7:00 to close I knew all the parties in the restaurant. It was like having friends in your home for dinner.

At 6:00 four regulars walked and said they’d come for drinks early. I told them the bar was booked they should go to the downstairs bar.

It wasn’t till they left that I remembered we have an oyster bar they could have sat at. Whoops. New employee here.

30 minutes later I sat our first guests at the oyster bar.

We were semi busy tonight.

It became stressful at 7:30.

Servers confused.

Lost orders.

Missing drinks.

Thankfully I knew everyone. They all left happy.

All opening issues.

No one yelled.

So much kindness.

Lots of hugs.

The new bartender I hired from another restaurant in town killed it.

The server I stole from our other restaurant killed it.

Will someone remind to change the batteries in the lamps tomorrow.

And.

Chef came in and the first thing he said was it’s too bright in here.

Thank you for pointing it out.

I’ve told 3,876,593 people that it was too bright.

We’ll do better tomorrow night.

I think that’s it!

Day one!!!

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Day 2 is in the books.

First day open to the public.

I’m already tired of the friends and family question.

Just because you eat at the restaurant every couple of weeks does not make a friend or family.

And.

A bit of advice.

It is rude to invite yourself to a party.

And to question the host about you were not invited to to opening.

Today’s fun events.

My new bartender walked out after 30 minutes saying this is not for me.

A woman walked in at 3:10. She is very old.

I ask her if I can help her and explain that we are closed.

She says I know, I just want to take a look.

I say, I understand but we are closed.

She says I know, I just want to take a look.

I say once again that we are closed.

She says that I should stop being so rude she is just taking a look.

And she does.

She calls me rude again when she is done.

Why did I not want her to take a look you ask?

Because I had 20 minutes to get the task I was working on finished.

No one just looks. They want the menu. They want to ask about the purchase. They want to ask about the memorabilia. They want to ask about reservations.

These are 20 minute conversations!

A man comes in with an older woman at 4:45. I’m on the phone with Toast our POS company.

He tells me they are going to just sit at the bar. I explain that we have reservations for the bar.

He becomes angry.

And very pretentious.

He then says it’s a good thing you are saying this to me and not my mother.

I’m not swayed.

We do have reservations. At 4:45.

A single man comes in and sits at the bar.

On his way out he gives me a list of his suggestions. He stands at the host stand for 20 minutes doing so.

Another man comes in and brings me a container full of photographs of an encounter he had with a famous person. He shared this story when he was last in town. I looked at photographs for 10 minutes.

Another man came in with a phot on his phone saying our new restaurant wouldn’t be complete until we rehung a photo of a light house that is in the harbor.

The list went on and on.

But it was a great night.

And LIVE in 5, 4, 3,

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight was opening night.

Friends and family.

And it was all friends.

All family.

But that didn’t stop Suzy from popping in and insisting I seat her.

She got mad when I said we were not open for the public. That it was friends and family.

She insisted she was a friend. M

She knew people who were invited.

But it took them 10 minutes to remember who she was.

I had never seen her before.

So not really a friend or family.

My favorite???

The woman who popped in 30 seconds before Adam arrived.

She steps in the front door and stands in front of me.

And berates me because no one is answering the phone. The email. The website. Social media.

Why have we not returned her calls?

She continues.

Absolutely pissy.

I’m about ten seconds from telling her to ….

I say of course I can take your reservation.

She gives me her number.

No one wants your land line.

She gives me her cell.

And tells me her name.

Oh.

Yes.

I know who they are.

Your husband has sent 79 emails.

54 voice mails.

I wish I’d said we were full.

She’s still complaining when Adam arrives.

I finally say, m’am our reservation system went live about 37 minutes before you arrived.

Calm the fuck down.

I paraphrase.

I make her reservation.

I say thank you.

Then I hug my boyfriend, and friends.

And go back to work.

PS. Chef let me sit and have dinner. It was fucking delicious.

Opening night.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

First.

The photo does not even come close to showing the beauty of our new restaurant.

Not. Even. Close.

However.

We opened today!!!

And it was smooth by any measure.

But it was not without hiccups.

First.

My bartender scheduled for tonight, called at 2:00 to say he and his host girlfriend would not be starting after all. They were moving to Colorado.

I smiled, congratulated them, and wished them well.

What else can you say.

Luckily, a bartender from our other restaurant covered tonight.

Whew.

Pray for rain.

I need the patio closed to cover my shifts.

And.

No matter how much you plan you forget things.

Like.

A bank for the bar drawer. Whoops. Thank god I had mondays deposit.

We didn’t have check presenters.

We pour wine from a small carafe to a wine glass on the table. We didn’t have carafes.

The highlight of my day was a food runner calling to tell me they couldn’t find crab in the fridge at the other restaurant.

I laughed and said.

Carafe. Carafe. Carafe.

Upstairs.

In the hallway.

Definitely not in the walk-in.

We all had a good laugh.

They arrived 6 minutes later.

Sugar caddies.

Water glasses.

Trays.

Coffee spoons.

We had everything but the check presenters.

Upstairs.

At the other restaurant.

In storage.

Tonight. Was a rousing success.

Because of all the support I had.

My new AGM Jackie.

Adam.

Jen.

Sam.

Mark.

Ian.

Cari.

And the entire opening team.

So thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

It’s now 2:00 am. I got to work at 10:15.

I got home at 12:45.

Sleep is calling.

Another openin’ another show!!!

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

On June 23, 2021, I started at my current job.

I had no idea what to expect.

It was to be my 4th GM job since losing my job at David’s.

It was also the fourth time I had been told that there was room for growth in a job.

Two years later, turns out it was a good decision.

Also turns out that it was the first time the room for growth was to be real.

Tomorrow for me.

Wednesday.

I will open my fourth restaurant.

My second with Chef.

The team is in place.

The menu has been written.

The guests have been invited.

Tomorrow is friends and family.

I think there are 40 people coming.

I’m super excited.

I’m also nervous.

But mostly excited.

The space is stunning. The most beautiful space I’ve ever worked in.

I’ll check in tomorrow to let you know how it went.

Wish me luck.

The Telephone Hour.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

My hosts told me on Saturday that a woman left a message for me.

I forgot about it.

Tonight.

At 1:37 am when I was closing up at work after a 14.5 hour day I hit play on the answering machine.

Hi. My name is Susie.

I wanted to reach out to you before I post my review on social media.

I had dinner at your restaurant last week and I wanted to give you my feedback.

First the girl at the door was quite nice.

And the server was also good.

And I really enjoyed the drinks.

But I feel the porterhouse was not the quality I’d expect in a restaurant like yours.

It was tough. And chewy.

And really if a ooor quality.

I consider myself a good cook and I’d expect to get a better steak than I could buy myself at Hannaford.

Like I said.

I wanted to reach out before I left my review on social media.

She finished.

I hit delete.

Turned off the light.

Filled up my soda.

And.

Left.

Raindrops keep falling on my head…

I’d like to speak with the manager!!!

Today in a nut shell. 

We closed the patio today. 

But it’s not raining they all said.  

Yes, but at 4:00 it was 60 degrees.  And dropping quickly.  Who had using the heat in your car on June 18 as a thing.  

I’ve mentioned this before, but we close the patio when it’s cold, not because the guests will be cold but because if you spend 60 bucks on a steak, you don’t want YOUR steak to be cold 90 seconds after it’s put in front of you.  And especially your mashed potatoes.  

The patio was closed. 

At 4:20 the host takes a call.  She listens for about 2 minutes and hands me the phone.  

The woman on the other end of the phone IS pissed.

Super pissed.

She booked 3 weeks ago.  She asked then if the patio would be open.  She was told yes.

She called 5 days ago to see if the patio would be open.  She was told yes.

She called yesterday and was told that the patio would be open.  

She is saying all this at me.  

It is outrageous that the patio is closed after all this planning.

We should have called her yesterday to tell her this.  Especially after telling her the patio would be open.  

She is on a tangent.  

I explain, that unfortunately, it’s not as warm as we expected so we’ve been forced to close it.

This is unacceptable. 

I am listening trying to come to a solution, but she won’t stop yelling at me.  

I try to ask what her name is, and how many in her party but she keeps on yelling at me.

Finally, she says she’s going to eviscerate us on social media.  

Please for the sake of all things…do not say this to me.

Because I promise I’ll respond in the following way:  I won’t be held hostage by a threat of a review on social media.  

And I said that, and she lost her shit.

And I said do what you have to do.

And hung up. 

She was still yelling when I hit end on the cordless phone.

So far, no message.  

But it was not a fun way to start the night.  

Fast forward 60 minutes and I’m called to table 25.  

As I walk toward the table, I realize I know them.  

I greet the table and shake hands with the man at the table.

He says to me, I hear you were playing (I don’t remember what action hero he called me) but he was referring to Friday night.

A friend of mine, drives for him as he owns a car service in town.

We then spent about 10 minutes comparing horror stories, with him telling me that once he left a passenger at a restaurant that is even more remote than hours after the guy was a complete ass.  

We all chatted, until the host interrupted to tell me I was needed at table G9.

Uh. OH.

I knew about this table. 

It is a two top.  

They each sent their steak back 2 times.  

I get to the table and have the following exchange.

We made our reservation weeks ago and you’ve sat us at the worst table.  

Uh.  You made your reservation Friday night.  And that is why you are sitting here.

It’s also not the worst table.  It’s really not.

But I reply, I’m sorry to hear that you feel that way.  Lots of people enjoying sitting here.

He tells me it’s ridiculous that they are by the wait station.  

Fun fact.  There is a wait station in every restaurant.  And what make that a bad table.  Only 2 servers are using it, they are both quiet people.

It’s ridiculous that they are seated near an exit door.

Sorry, sir.  Every restaurant has exits.  And most have tables that are there.  

And I’m seated next to an old lawn mower.

Actually, it’s a vintage scooter that chef has owned for years and has been in the restaurant since we opened.  Most people take picture with it, instead of complaining that it’s a lawn mower.  

He goes on.  

This meal was terrible.

We had to send our steaks back twice.  Because it was cold and undercooked.  

Well sir, you ordered your steak medium rare.  Which is supposed to have a cool red center, AND steak is not meant to be eaten hot.  It’s allowed to rest before it is served.  

It was undercooked both time.

Sir, I’m sorry to hear that.

It also did not have a good flavor.  In fact, I could have gotten a better steak at Longhorn for half the money.

I’m sorry you feel that way sir.

Yes, the French fries were the only good thing about the meal.

Yes, our fries are indeed quite good.  

I will say, the service was great.  I’m not complaining about the service.  

Thank you, sir.

We are here to celebrate father’s day and in my opinion this is the worst dining experience I have ever had in all of my 70 years.  

I should say, I’m getting annoyed, because they were perfectly fine with the table, until we sat a party of 9 with 5 horrible children next to him.  

The conversation is also, not nearly as calm as I’ve written it.  He’s is pissed, and I’m having a hard time with it, because our food is second to none.  Our décor is second to none.  

And when he said, in 70 years I’ve never had a worse dining experience, I might have said, well sir then I’d suggest you eat out more.  

I know, I know, I know.

I shouldn’t have, but I did.

He is clearly looking for something for free.

However, his plate is clean. 

I ask if I can take his plate.  He says yes.

His wife asks for a to go box.  

If it’s so bad why are you taking it with you.  

I leave.  

I go back to table 25 and tell them it’s their fault this just happened.

90 minutes later they post a review on a page called Lyman:  The happening.  

The review:

Website is utterly deceiving.  Zero ambience.  Nothing special as far as the steak.  A sports bar that caters to large parties.  Waitstaff is top notch.  Even with a reservation at opening time, we were given the wort table in the house, the hallway next to the service door, which also served as the server station and the outside door.  Manager visited our table after multipe requests.  Told him that this was my worst restaurant experience in 70 years of life and he told me I “needed to eat out more.”

Steak entrees had to be sent back TWICE.  Undercooked both times.  Ordered medium rare.  Both times we received the same cut of meat.  After second refire they didn’t even bother with the garnish.  I’ve had better steak at Longhorn for a whole lot less $. 

Save your hard earned $.  Lots of better places out there. 

As I’ve already said.

The summer people are here. 

Seriously!

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I hate practical jokes.

Hate them.

Tonight we had an event at our new restaurant.

An event I’ve been saying no to since March.

But I was over ruled.

And it happened.

There was no manager there to supervise.

So I left just as the first guests were arriving 30 minutes early.

The party started.

And at 4:50 I’m called to the kitchen where chef shows me a text that said

Space is beautiful but service and drinks suck.

He was clearly annoyed.

I walked away thing fuck fuck fuck.

I was annoyed all night that someone we would do a favor for would do this.

At 8:00 chef asks me to go over and checkin.

I’m expecting a big complaint.

But I learn about 3 minutes after arriving it was a joke.

They told chef five minutes after the text was sent.

No one told me.

They all thought it was so funny.

Not me.

Didn’t find it funny.

Not at all.

Red red wine!!!

I’d like to speak to the manager.

We have regulars.

Who are the worst if the worst.

The come late.

They treat the staff like crap.

And everyone. And I mean everyone hates them.

They were in tonight.

They are difficult beyond compare.

They don’t order anything as it comes.

Special prep this.

Special prep that.

And what sucks is that we tell everyone else no.

Meanwhile.

They are mediocre tippers.

And.

Tonight they asked for their three bottles of wine on a separate check. Paid it. And left a big fat 0 on the tip line.

I’m running out of servers to wait on them.

I’d really love to have the server, next time they are in, drop the bottle of wine on the table, with a wine key, 4 plastic cups, and say enjoy.

The server fetches the wine. Presents, and opens the wine. Pours the wine. Keeps the glasses topped off. Polishes the glasses. Sets the table. Clears the table.

It’s ridiculous.