I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
We opened the doors at 4:50 tonight.
Like any other night.
Jennifer unlocked the doors and went in to the parking lot to let people know we were open.
60 seconds later our first guests of the evening appeared.
We welcomed them.
The wife said thank you for the escort.
Her husband said, but we like our Toyota at the same time I said, she hasn’t done that in years.
Both. Dad. Jokes.
We both started laughing.
They were sat.
We went on with our evening.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
We opened to the public today.
It was quiet.
We had hoped it would be.
We wanted the day to work through the kinks.
In that regard it was a success.
At the end of the day we announced on social media that we were open.
There was overwhelming excitement.
Except.
For the naysayer.
For example the lady who got mad over a year ago because she wasn’t told the price of a special had nothing nice to say.
Many people were upset that we are closing at 5:30.
No congratulations just anger.
Then a lot of people were upset that we said the restaurant sat on a river. Not a harbor.
I wrote that text.
I didn’t know it was a harbor. I thought it was the River my old restaurant sat on.
I aspire to be so perfect.
Meanwhile, the restaurant is beautiful. The team has worked hard. The food is amazing.
And I’m now the GM of three restaurants.
I’m tired.
I keep getting manager applications but they either don’t get back to me if I’m interested. Or they don’t show up for their interview.
Or they show up 30 minutes early for their interview. Spend 20 minutes in the restroom. Finally come out, and sit across from me chewing gum, while being surly. He talked for 30 minutes and finally said, I suppose I should give you a chance to talk.
I knew 30 seconds in I wouldn’t hire him.
Then there are the applicants who have amazing resumes. You look them up and they have puppies on their Facebook page. They are quite handsome, and when you reach out turns out they have already been snatched up by another company and you spend the day crying into your coffee. You know who you are!
However.
I’m having fun.
It’s exciting.
And the staff at our old restaurant has been very helpful. And making my life manageable.
I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes.
I’d like to speak to the manager!
I have a new host who started last week.
He’s doing great.
But he’s new.
After pre-shift he comes to me and says that there’s a man on hold who’s angry.
He wanted a reservation for three people at the bar, but one of them is a minor.
And he’s upset.
I go to the phone.
He’s already hung up.
The phone rings, it’s him again.
The other host answers.
Hands the phone to me.
He’s upset.
That he was put on hold.
That he left a message this morning but we are just calling back.
That the host told him we don’t take reservations for three at the bar.
(This is true, but we say we are booked, not that we don’t do it).
He keeps complaining about my host.
He changed tactics and tells me that he lives down the street. We are his favorite restaurant.
This never matters to me. But I also know he’s not a regular as he doesn’t know me.
I tell him I can make a reservation for him.
And I do.
Ably to discover he is looking for Saturday. Not today.
He is upset. Telling me 12 times he left a message. I should have known it was tomorrow.
I don’t tell him that I had 25 messages. They all run together.
He keeps on getting more and more upset.
Now he is yelling at me.
He yells at me that I should be better and that this is ridiculous.
I reply.
We’ll now you’re yelling at me.
So I’m sorry. We are booked Saturday. I wish you luck finding some place yo eat but you won’t be dining with us.
Have a good night.
And I hung up the phone.
I explained to my host that we never say we don’t do something. We are just booked. We don’t availability.
I assured him he was not in trouble. He’s knew.
Ignore them.
The man did not call back.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
I’ve mentioned that my chef bought a new building with two restaurants. An osteria downstairs. A more upscale restaurant upstairs.
It’s been under construction for 5 months. Top to bottom. New everything.
After many long hours over the past couple of weeks we hosted friends and family tonight in the lower restaurant.
Adam compared it to producing a show.
There’s lots of planning.
There’s a bit of rehearsal.
There’s a moment that feels like complete chaos.
Then the curtain goes up and the show is open.
We are open.
Tomorrow we are opening quietly to the public.
No press. No fan fair. No advertising. No social media posts.
Quietly unlock the doors and see what happens.
I’ll keep you posted.
Meanwhile tonight, at 5:15, fifteen minutes before we opened, I gathered Chef, the two chefs in the kitchen and a friend and we toasted to the opening.
I’ve had a bottle of 10 year Old Rip Van Winkle that I brought from home. I’d need saving it for a special occasion.
I poured a hefty shot for each of us and congratulated all of us on a lot of hard word.
The night went well.
The POS was a mess but will be fixed by tomorrow.
Everyone loved the food, the renovations.
It’s a beautiful space.
I’ll keep you posted on the coming weeks.
The sunset is the view from the patio. It’s a million dollar view.
Wish us luck when the public shows up tomorrow.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
There.
That’s out of my system.
On the drive home tonight, I realized that the summer people are arriving.
Not the summer residents.
These are the summer people who come for one week a year.
And the summer people who come from Omaha to experience Maine for one time in their life.
I was on the door tonight and it was difficult.
Here’s why:
But most of all, I’d like to thank the two couples at the barm, I sat late, for being willing to be patient and kind and lovely, as I explained that your stools were occupied by people who had paid their checks 30 minutes ago, and we were just waiting on to leave. I so appreciate your presence tonight, especially considering I sat you both 30 minutes behind schedule.
PS. I did offer them a table, they chose to wait for the bar.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
Tonight.
May 4, 2023.
I had one of the strangest, most uncomfortable experiences, as a restaurant employee, that I have ever had.
Stranger than having a steak waved in my face.
Stranger than having a woman puke on my table.
Stranger than being told that I suck, over and over and over.
The back story.
The man who I am going to discuss, came into the restaurant for the first time about a month ago.
He arrived without a reservation, was put off by the fact that we took reservations and was far from kind or nice.
He came back about a week later and behaved the same way.
I was at the door both times and he basically dismissed me each time.
Fast forward to two weeks ago.
He arrives, this time with a reservation, with his wife in tow.
Once again, I was at the door and once again he treated me like the lowest of the lowest.
I kill him with kindness, as he’s not the first to do this, and will definitely NOT be the last.
The difference this time, is that he was sitting behind me at the bar, once I finished up and sat down at the Chef’s table.
At the end of my shift, once all the food is out and the kitchen turns off the heat lamps, I sit down at F-5, one of two Chef’s tables.
I bring my computer and sometimes I actually get work done.
Sometime, I chat with the guests or the staff.
And sometimes, I just sit there staring in to space.
I was working at my computer on the night in question, chatting with Chef.
I hear someone behind me ask if I’m the owner. I turn and it’s the grumpy man from the door.
I say, no, this is the chef/owner.
He goes on to tell Chef how much he’s enjoyed his visits and that he’d brought his wife, and they both loved it. He goes on and on about how well the restaurant is run, pointing his compliments to Chef.
Chef, eventually points to me and says I couldn’t do it with him.
I introduce myself and for the first time, he acknowledges me.
He tells us that they just started coming up here, and that he’s been in the same business for 35 years selling widgets. He knows how hard his business is, and he’s truly impressed with how well we run ours. He goes on to tell us that he just retired after selling his business, selling widgets for 80 million dollars. He explains, what the widgets are, how hard they are to come by and how important the widgets are.
He asks about reservations at the bar, and I give him my speech about calling, leaving a message, and that I’ll usually call back within a couple of hours.
I give him my card.
After what seems like forever, he goes back to his stool, and leaves a few minutes later.
The next day I get an email, asking if it’s okay to call the number on the card to make reservations.
I reply saying of course.
The number on the card is the business number.
It’s on Google.
A week later, this scenario repeats itself.
A flurry of compliments. How much he loves our business model. How successful we must be. How impressed he is. That he’s been in business for 35 years. That he sells widgets. The widgets are hard to come by but are very important. And that he just retired after selling his company for 80 million dollars.
Chef and I thank him for the compliments and he finally leaves.
Fast forward to tonight.
Chef is doing a wine tasting to finish selecting the wines for the new restaurants.
He is at F-, the other Chef’s table. I am standing next to him, discussing tonight’s service, the schedule for the new restaurant, etc. when a voice says, Hi Jeff. I look up, seeing who it was, not remembering his name, and as I was in the office all night, and had not known he was dining with us.
He prompts me that his name is Tim.
I shake his hand and he asks, if we meet after every shift, as he’s seen us together every time he has come in.
I say, we absolutely do. We discuss the service, any issues, any special needs for the next day etc. I explain that in other restaurants we had a nightly email, but as we are the only two management people, we just do it in person, before Chef leaves for the night.
He begins his compliment. He loves our business mode. As tough as it is to run his business, he’s become intrigued with the restaurant business. He lets us know that our marketing plan is working.
I explain that there is NO marketing plan. It’s 95% word of mouth. And 5% ads in the local school newspaper.
He replies, I didn’t market my business either, and launches into the selling of widgets. How hard they were to come by. How important they were. How he just retired after selling his widget business for 80 million dollars. And how glad that they can dine with us.
He eventually excuses himself, goes back to his stool, I grab my computer and sit at F-5, Chef starts his wine tasting, it’s a typical night.
Then.
About 30 minutes later, I hear my name. He’s calling me over to his stool and says he needs to ask me a question.
He goes on to say, that he has asked the bartender a question, that has made the bartender squirm, and uncomfortable, and was told that the bartender didn’t know the answer to the question.
He asked the bartender if he should address his question to the people upstairs, he was told yes, and has called me over.
He goes on to say, that at their favorite restaurant in Connecticut, it’s customary at the end of a meal for the bartender to give their guests complimentary shots as a thank you for coming in.
He goes on to say, that it’s a great business strategy. That it keeps the customers coming back and that we should start the same policy.
Especially for regulars.
Like them.
Never. Have I ever. Had someone suggest, that I owe them free anything, let alone booze, just for dining with us.
He continues, by saying that it’s usually a shot of Jameson, or something that won’t break the bank. The guests all love it. It’s really great marketing.
I take a deep breath, not knowing where this is going to go, and say, that I have never done this as a manager. And that in fact, in the state of Maine, it is illegal to give alcohol away for free. I explain that even bartenders doing buy backs for a guest who tips well, or giving drinks away for guest recovery is illegal. And that since I’ve become a GM, it’s never been a practice of mine. I say that it happened all the time when I lived in New York, but it’s not been done at any restaurant that I’ve managed.
He replies. Hmmm. I’ve never heard that before. It’s illegal to give away free drinks?
I assure him that yes, it is.
He pushes the issues, clearly wanting me to give them shots.
He says, so you won’t give away free drinks.
I assure him, I’ve never done it, nor will I ever.
Then he says, well, I’m going to go home and research this, and if I find out you are just saying this to not give me a drink, I’m not going to be happy. He continues that this should a practice for regulars like him and his wife.
I fear that the entire encounter is slipping in to angry guest mode.
I tell him to feel free to do so, but unfortunately, it’s not something that we do as a practice.
He then turns back to why the bartender was so upset over the question.
I explain, that if I’d seen him give the couple a drink, and discovered that it wasn’t on their check, the bartender would be unemployed tomorrow as even if we did give free drinks, it’s not his alcohol to give away. I continue, that he made the right decision by deferring to me.
The conversation wraps up.
I sit down.
And I think to myself, that a man who has told me multiple times that he just sold his 80-million-dollar business, just asked me for a 10-dollar drink.
If he’s that hard up, he should have just asked for 10 dollars and I’d loan in to him.
Also, dude. You’ve been in my restaurant at most 5 times. You are not a regular.
Tim and Kristen are regulars, they dine with us every Sunday.
Mark and Stacy are regulars, they dine with us 4 nights a week.
Emily and Sam are regulars, and you know how I know?
They’ve come in enough to know that I drink bourbon, what brand I like and brought me two bottles last summer.
Never, have I ever had someone seriously ask for free booze, just because they are customers.
I’ve had teenagers ask to be hooked up when they are underaged.
I’ve had people ask for a birthday dessert.
I’ve had people ask for a free dinner when they hated their meal, and even they didn’t get it.
You are rich. You don’t need free booze.
You aren’t a regular.
And here’s a thought…
I didn’t go to business school.
I learned to be a manager by being mentored by my good friend David.
I also learned to calculate exactly how much a 1.5 oz pour of liquor cost in order to determine the cost and how much to charge.
If I calculate a regular as someone who dines at my restaurant, five times or more, then about 75% of our clientele is a regular.
We hosted over 50,000 people last year at our restaurant. Real numbers.
If we say conservatively, 20% are regulars that’s 10,000 guests who get a shot of Jameson at the end of their meal.
If you do 10,000 1.5 oz pours of Jamo, from a 1.75ltr, that’s 250 bottles. Times $60 bucks a bottle you are around $15,000 give or take.
Just to purchase the booze.’
How much did it cost, to get the booze to us, into your glass, and in front of you.
If instead of giving away 250 bottles of Jameson, I actually charged for it, that’s about 100k gross at the end of the year.
Like I said, I’m not business major.
But that’s a fucking whole lot of money.
PS. And 20% is conservative.
So. Even if it weren’t illegal.
We still wouldn’t do it.
And it’s embarrassing that you put us all in this situation.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
Large parties are the a pain right now.
Seriously.
Why you ask? Because everyone, and I mean everyone pushes back when they are given the parameters we use.
To book a party over 8 you have to email me.
I’m getting 2 or 3 requests on a slow day, sometime upwards of 10 emails a day.
I cut and paste a form letter, that I customize based on the request they are making.
The one thing that is consistent for everyone is that they must use a pre-set pre-fixe menu.
It is served family style.
It’s sort of like a Medieval feast that comes out on big boards meant to feed a small army. It is super impressive as the boards come out of the kitchen and are taken to the table.
I’ve experienced this as a guest, and it is so much fun.
I’ve never had anyone who has booked a large party with us, with the pre-fixe menu, not be impressed at the end of the meal.
It’s spectacular.
That being said, it is not inexpensive. We are an upscale restaurant. Serving Prime Beef. It’s not inexpensive to have dinner with us off the menu.
We also do not take advantage, and have priced out the meal so it’s the actual cost of ordering each thing off the menu, ala carte.
Another fun fact, is that there are NOT a lot of restaurants in town that can handle a large party that is not a hotel space. This is the reason for the large number of requests. Not even 30 minutes north in Portland can you find a lot of places that can take 20 people seated together. Especially if you want quality food.
Without it truly becoming an event situation, that requires a planner, and lots of back and forth, I can do 1 person or I can do 40 people. With little to no planning. And with only four emails.
However, there are a lot of people who balk at the need for a pre-fixe menu. The person, who is causing this post today, cursed at me on the phone, explaining that she’d spend a lot of money, and that it was ridiculous that I couldn’t just book the reservation, without the menu.
I’m pretty sure she said it was fucking stupid.
Now.
If you are still reading.
I had a guest in tonight, who comes often that I absolutely love, love, love.
He and his girlfriend come in throughout the year.
Make no mistake about age though, as he just retired and she is a few years behind him.
They are fun, a little gregarious, and make all of us laugh.
They too, had careers in a different service industry, so we often trade stories.
At the end of the night, he came over to say good night and asked about tables in the summer. I don’t know how it came up, but I explained we could accommodate anything from a single person to 40 people without it being an event.
We continued to chat, and I explained that for parties over 8 we use a pre-fixe menu. He was being curious and asked what was on the menu, and why we did that.
And thus, the second half of my story.
When I started at the restaurant, we said NO to any party over 10.
A hard no. It was non-negotiable. Party of 11. No can do.
And the reason:
If a party of 10 comes in and happens, just happens to order 10 steaks, it’s going to bury the chef for a bit as he cooks for just one table. This isn’t a rarity. I’ve seen it happen. And it’s not a big deal. It’s what we do. Except that at the same time, he’s cooking steaks for 20 other tables. And it starts to bog down the kitchen.
So. When a menu is planned. Whether a pre-fixe menu or your favorite menu at your favorite restaurant. Great care is taken to make sure that food items come from different stations in the kitchen.
If there are 25 things on the menu.
5 things will come from sauté.
5 things will come from fry.
5 things will come from the oven.
5 things will come from the grill.
5 things will come from the salad station.
Now, when guests order, most of the time, their orders will be spread out over the kitchen, allowing it to function smoothly, without burying one area.
Thus, the reason for our pre-fixe menu.
If we host a 40 top reservation, and even 15 of them order individual steaks at different temperatures it’s going to slow down the food coming out of the kitchen for everyone else.
But if we use the pre-fix menu, there are only 8 large format steaks cooked for a 40 top. 2 for a 10 top. The rest of the menu comes from the other stations. Ovens left, ovens right, fry, salad, etc.
We can actually feed 40 people on a busy August night, without ever slowing down the rest of the service. We don’t even really pay attention to the times. It gets put in just like all the other orders and like magic 15 minutes later, it lands on the table.
It is truly a feat to watch. And Chef has perfected it, since last summer, and it’s like clockwork now to do a 10, 20, 30, 40 top.
So.
We are not being mean when we say you have to use a pre-fixe menu.
We are not price gouging when we say you have to use a pre-fixe menu.
We are not turning away business, when we say you have to use a pre-fixe menu.
In truth, we hope you book. We hope you have a great time. We know you’ll the food. We know you’ll love the experience.
PS. If you booked our dining room for 40 people at 90% of the other places in a 45 mile radius, there would be a food and beverage minimum, there would be a room charge, there would be rentals, there would be a 100% non-refundable deposit due long before you sit down to eat.
PSS. It’s for the same reason, that we won’t separate your table and seat you at a 6 and an 8 top for 14. You won’t all sit down. You’ll bounce back and forth from table to table. You’ll put all the kids at one table, which is not fun for the server. You won’t leave until you are all done. And if you come at the same time, you’ll order at the same time and we might as well have booked a 14 top. So, no. We won’t make two reservations for you.
We really do just want you to trust us and just come have a delicious meal and a great time.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
I love my job.
I love my job.
I love my job.
More importantly, I need my job.
I need my job.
I need my job.
The story I’m about to tell doesn’t happen often, but it happens enough that it is the one things that makes me want a new job.
I work in a very conservative town.
VERY.
Two former Republican presidents, and Florida governor have a home there.
There is a natural assumption from everyone, that everyone things the same as them.
This is far from true. I know many liberal folks that live in the town.
What makes me want to have a new job is the conversations that I’m exposed to, that makes me want to put someone in their place.
A single gentleman came in to the restaurant tonight.
He is a regular. Usually, he is with his wife.
He sat at the bar. Next to a another single gentleman, who thinks like me, and that I’ve known for 10 years.
There was another couple on the other side of him, who were very much on the right side of the issues.
They all drank, and by 8:00 we were well in to political discussions.
This happens more than I’d like, but no big deal.
But as it got later, the voices got louder, and the conversation became horrible.
Racist.
Homophobic.
Offensive.
The man discussed that his son goes to a liberal, liberal arts private school and they are trying to brainwash his kids and are grooming them. They’ve hired a diversity and equity leader for the campus. And that person, is forcing his son to hear that he should be accepting of the people who are shoving their lifestyles down their throats. What’s going to happen next reparations. The fact that they got in to the school in the first place should be reparation enough. And I don’t mind that these foreign people go to school there but I don’t trust them one bit. They run around, asking to be taught American customs meanwhile China is trying to destroy our country.
It went on from there, never getting any better.
As a gay man it was very uncomfortable for me.
And this is not the first time this has happened with guests.
They sit there, and assume that everyone thinks the same as them since we are in the town that we are in.
Fun fact:
We don’t. Not at all.
And if we are lucky.
That liberal, liberal arts education will have a good effect on his son, teach him to be more accepting, more loving, more caring, and less offensive.
Meanwhile, I will continue to sit there and repeat:
I need my job.
I need my job.
I need my job.
PS. They were there until almost 10:00. Long after the restaurant closed.
I’d like to speak to the manager!!!
In case I haven’t mentioned it, Chef bought a new property. 2 new restaurants, sharing a kitchen in one building.
They are due to open within the next few weeks.
Because we are opening a new property, we’ve been bombarded with people who want our business.
Especially companies we aren’t currently using.
We’ve taken this time to reexamine costs on everything.
We’ve looked at everything from meat, dry goods, disposables, linen, wine, beer, liquor, dishes, POS, even reservation systems.
Everything.
For the most part, we had the best situation to begin with.
In a couple of areas, we found better pricing, with the promise of better service.
I headed up the search for the best pricing on linen.
Anyone in the linen business will tell you it’s sketchy at best. Chef has horror stories about linen services in NYC.
We ultimately decided to change companies, because the company we had been using couldn’t provide the napkins we wanted for the new restaurant.
In the middle of March, we signed the new contract.
On March 28th I reached out to the old company to let them know we’d be terminating our relationship and asked for direction in doing so.
I heard from no one.
I called a couple of days later and was told that the person I needed to speak with was at a wedding and would be back at the beginning of the following week.
I called back in the middle of the next week.
I was told to speak to a different person, they took a message and told me I’d be called back.
No one reached out.
16 days after I sent the original email, someone locally reached out to try and save the business.
Too Little. Too Late.
I explained that I’d been waiting for someone for more than two weeks to reach out and I was still waiting, and could someone please let me know what I needed to do to cancel the agreement.
A day later, a person reached out to say that they had reached out. And they were confused.
I explained that they’d reached out to save the business, not cancel the business.
At this time, I let them know that 30 days from the first notification would be April 30th and we would no longer need their services.
I finally got a phone call, telling me to call back, press 2 and leave a message.
I did that and a woman called me back took my information told me someone would return the call and that was 10 days ago.
Friday morning, I sent another email reminding them that we wanted our services terminated and to please confirm they’d gotten the email.
Silence.
Tonight, I wrote a final email.
A little back story.
For 2 plus years I had a corporate job in NYC. I sat at desk in the financial district and I helped the sales/marketing team, find leads on IT leaders in fortune 500 companies, so that we could send them proposals on our new internet billing software.
I discovered, early on, that if you could get an email for anyone in the company, you now had the formatting for 99% of the employees at said company. Including executives.
Hi this is Jeff calling from Alysis Technologies. May I could I get an email address for someone in the IT department.
Of course, it’s scott_smith@company.com
Now that I had the formatting, I could email anyone in the company.
Fun fact: One time I used this system for my own good.
I changed cell phone providers to Sprint. I got a new phone. And a new plan. I don’t remember the details but it was supposed to come with a free feature. Let’s say long distance.
When I got my first bill, I discovered that I was being charged for the feature. It was more than 80 dollars extra on my first bill.
I called Sprint, and was told sorry, there was nothing they could do.
I called again. Same story.
Went to the store. Same story.
So.
I looked on line for the corporate offices of sprint. Found several people listed with their emails.
I searched for CEO of Sprint, used the same formatting and sent him an email.
I was very nice, explained the situation and ended the email with, “You spend millions of dollars every day trying to capture one customer, and yet you are willing to lose that customer over 89 dollars.”
By lunch time the following day, I had gotten an email from the CEO’s assistant asking me to give her a call. I did. The problem was fixed. And I stayed with them until I moved back from San Diego several years later.
Back to my original story.
Tonight.
When I sent my last email to the linen company.
I cc’d the entire corporate executive team. CEO. CFO. Director of Marketing. Human Resources Director. Executive Director of Operations. The whole team. 9 people in total.
I was nice. But stern and explained that it was troubling that no one would contact me about cancelling our agreement.
2 emails bounced back. 7 did not, meaning that they went to the people I sent them to.
I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble.
We are in a contract with the old company, and have an out, built in, but we have to follow rules to do so. I have not idea what legally they need from us. It’s disconcerting that after 30 days of trying, I’m no closer to formally cancelling the account than when I started.
I’ll keep you updated when I know more.
A couple of days ago, I hit 999 days without a Diet Coke.
For any of you, who have known me for a while, you know what a feat that is.
I, to this day, consumed more Diet Coke than any other person I know.
I had a Double Gulp on the way to work.
I didn’t get a coffee at work, I got a Diet Coke.
I was very specific about which gun the Diet Coke came from, as they were not all the same.
I could always tell the difference.
I trained the staff to bring a Diet Coke to the office, anytime they came to ask a question.
If someone did something wrong, a bottle of Diet Coke would appear on my desk the next day as an apology.
Once I came in and there were 6 bottles. I don’t remember why, but I do remember that it made me laugh.
I ALWAYS made sure to leave work on a night that I closed, in time to get to McDonald’s for a Diet Coke for my ride home.
I’d have 4 or 5 cans before I went to bed at night.
I had to have a Diet Coke anytime I was in the car, often stopping 4 or 5 times a day, on a day off at McDonald’s because they still have the best fountain soda.
My friends knew to have Diet Coke if I was going to come for dinner.
My mother, always had a case or two of cans when I’d go home.
Adam’s parents did the same.
I’d stop everyone 90 minutes on road trips.
Always at McDonald’s.
I know where every McDonald’s is on the way NYC from Portland.
Adam and I once got into a huge fight, becauseI insisted we wait in line for 45 minutes for a Diet Coke in Hartford, Connecticut before I drove us home, three hours at 11:30 at night.
Way, way, way back when I was a lighting designer, lightning struck the theater, that we had just loaded in to, and dumped the memory of the light cues we’d just programmed, frying the disc that was in the computer.
It was 45 minutes till curtain.
I recreated the patch. I programmed submitters. (Face book won’t let me type sub master as one word).
But before any of that, I instructed the couple who ran the theater that I’d need the largest Diet Coke from a fountain that they could find by curtain.
We opened the house very late, we dimmed the house lights, and I was handed a fountain Diet Coke, just as the overture to The Music Man started.
The show looked great, if I do say so myself.
Fun fact, turns out the that couple who run the theater are friends of Adam’s from Texas.
I was obsessed with Diet Coke.
OBSESSED.
And then in July of 2020 a friend of mine quit smoking and challenged me to give up Diet Coke saying if she could quit smoking I could give up Diet Coke.
Meanwhile, another friend in Florida was posting about his finally drinking his last Diet Coke.
I mentioned it to Adam but I think he thought I was full of shit.
On July 31, 2020 I drank my last Diet Coke.
For the next couple of weeks, Adam bought me every flavor and every brand of soda water that existed.
I finally settled on Polar pomegranate. I drink that full stop now.
And it’s plain soda water at work, which I’ve trained the staff to keep full.
I don’t feel healthier.
I haven’t lost weight.
It has not affected me at all.
And with that, time to get another can of soda.
PS. that famous non smoking friend…she’s smoking again.
I'd Like to Speak to the Manager!!! 