I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Ugly with a chance of rain.

Why do people lose their mind over valet parking?

And it’s not the driver of the $100,000 car.

Tonight it was the owner of a Rav 4.

And a Mazda.

at 3:50 I go to my old restaurant.

I do pre shift. Check in with my staff.

Come back to the new restaurant.

I got back at 4:45 today.

To find out the first table of the night has lost their mind because they have to valet park their rav 4.

They have calmed down by the time I get back.

At 5:15 a couple pull the Mazda in to the handicap spot. And are told they need to give him the keys so he can move the car.

They lose their mind.

We’ll he loses his mind.

Tells all the ways this is illegal. Inappropriate. All the ways he doesn’t have to do this.

He’s making a scene.

I can see aka sense something is going on outside so I step out of the front door.

He’s being rude.

He finally says he’s parked, and he’s going to keep his keys and then we CANT move his car.

I explain that we can have it towed.

His wife ushers him in. Tells him to let it go.

They are seated.

What seems like 12 minutes later, the first table leaves.

On their way out I ask how their dinner was.

Uh oh.

One man loses his shit again.

Telling me all the ways this is a fucked up policy.

They never has to valet park in the old days.

In the old days things were better.

He’s shouting at me.

He finally leaves.

Around 7:15 I’m standing at the end of the bar when the second table leaves.

And do I wish that I’d missed that.

When they came in it was the husband who was on fire.

Now the wife is coming to her husbands defense.

She starts by telling me that I’m rude.

Then she tells me the guest is always right.

And that since her husband is a senior citizen and Vietnam vet I should have treated him with kindness.

I explain that I wasn’t rude until he was rude.

I’m reminded again that the guest is always right.

I say not always.

She lets me have it for at least 15 minutes.

They are going to call the police department to see if I can have a car towed.

I reply by saying that it’s sad that they have let this consume their wonderful meal. An otherwise excellent night has bed. Ruined by their need to be right.

They finally leave.

This exchange has taken place at the end of the bar.

I’m front of guests.

And last night repeats itself.

Two groups at the bar apologize for the behavior. And tell me I’m the reason the restaurant is doing so well.

I know they are right.

But it gets old being beaten up every night.

Which is why….

I’m taking tomorrow off.

My first time having two days scheduled off since April.

I’m going to sleep till 7:00 pm.

Then figure out what to do with the rest of my day.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Last night at 6:00 a three top was seated at the bar.

I was in the kitchen, when this happened so I missed their entrance.

The were less than happy to be seated at the bar and they let everyone know it.

Unfortunately, the second turn was packed. No openings at all.

They let everyone know they were unhappy.

They were a pain in the ass to the bartenders. They hated our entire wine list.

Eventually they settled on a super Tuscan and finally ordered dinner.

They left happy.

So happy that they made reservations to sit in the dining room tonight.

They arrived, had dinner, and were uneventful.

I was standing at the end of the bar when they left.

I asked the three of them how dinner was.

I’m asked if I’m the owner.

I explain that I’m the general manager and inquire again about how their dinner was.

They tell me it was lovely. And that they were in last night and liked it so much they came back.

I reply that I know they were in. They had reservations at another restaurant that couldn’t take them after all.

The reply that their is no way I remember.

I say of course I remember, you had the super Tuscan.

The woman in the party is super impressed and tells me so.

She tells me that they had reservations up the street from us, their reservation was list, and they didn’t even apologize. But that it worked out as this was their favorite meal on their trip.

I say that it was our luck that their reservation was lost.

She looks at me and says, what’s your name?

I say Jeff and she exclaims I’ve read about you.

I had a bad review on Wednesday.

I say that’s me.

She says you’re not rude. You’re lovely. Why would they say you’re rude.

I say, because I have to say no to them and they act like toddlers.

The man she is with immediately embraces me and says I LOVE YOU!!!

We talk another ten minutes or say.

They make their leave telling us we’ll see them next year.

When I got home there was a lively review saying Jeff isn’t rude. He could have been nicer and more welcoming.

They like me. They really really like me.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This is one of my favorite reviews ever.

And I mean ever.

Someone comes to dine at a steakhouse and then expects to receive a discount for being a vegetarian.

Let’s adress the obvious first.

Yes a potato is cheap. As is a carrot. Fennel. And broccolini.

And if I served you a raw potato, a carrot and broccolini it could be a few Pennie’s.

But.

Mashed potatoes don’t mash themselves. And they aren’t out of a box.

That salad doesn’t make itself.

And that broccolini doesn’t roast itself in a wood fired oven.

Now that that’s out of the way.

Why do people come to a meat forward restaurant and get angry about the menu.

I don’t go to a vegetarian restaurant and leave a review bashing the meat options.

I don’t go to McDonald’s and bitch because Wendy’s has baked potatoes.

And no.

You shouldn’t get a discount.

I’ve said for years that we should implement a kids menu.

We don’t have one.

Serve frozen chicken fingers with honey mustard.

And charge $65 bucks for it.

We actually have a lot a vegetarian can eat.

My friends have done it several times.

So suck it up.

And I won’t complain when I go to an Italian restaurant about their lack of sushi options.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Someone mentioned yesterday that they’d never heard of taking reservations at the bar.

The restaurants I know who do this, started during COVID.

Guests know when they arrive they have seats at the bar.

They are also reserved for dinner so they aren’t just coming in for a cocktail.

More importantly because they don’t belly up to the baevthe folks who are dining aren’t being interrupted with people reaching over them for drinks.

We turn our 23 seat bar at the older restaurant 2.5 times a night. It really is the best bar in town.

The other reason we don’t let people sit at the bar prior to dining is it makes everything harder.

They’ll order drinks, but before they get them their table is ready. It takes forever to get them seated.

If they sit before dinner they’ll end up starting with an app which won’t have come and they’ll have to deal with the check, get the food to the table etc.

Or. They’ll sit at the bar, decide they like it, stay now the server loses covers and the people reserved at the bar have nowhere to sit.

PS. Remember this is all fine dining.

And

More than anything, last night I had one bartender doing service bar for 100 seats, plus serving a 16 seat bar, and it’s just too much to serve the oyster bar. Or people to hang out before dinner.

Ultimately though, I’m in the business of generating revenue. If I say no, I’m not being a dick. I want the business. But not if it slows down and hinders everyone else.

More importantly, take no for an answer. You are not a toddler. These aren’t hard concepts.

Know there is a reason and accept it.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

I missed an interview because of the weather last Friday.

The horrible rain caused an accident and I was late getting to work.

I ended up interviewing her on the phone.

I offered her the job.

She let me know she had other interviews but would let me know her decision.

On Sunday she accepted.

I didn’t get back to her on Sunday.

On Monday, by the time I responded, she sent me an email saying she’d reached out to me by email several times and phoned the restaurant. Could I please respond?

24 hours had not passed at this time.

When I did respond I explained that I was one manager running three restaurants doing the best I can.

She was quite nice with her response.

Yesterday was a blur.

I had a managers meeting, then an interview that led right up to service. I didn’t get back to her yesterday.

Today I got this message:

Any update Jeff? I’m starting my other job on the 7th and would like to get a schedule from you for a start date.
I understand that your busy but I also turned down 5 other places for this job, I’m also a very busy person.
Please let me know as soon as possible, thank you.

Here’s the thing.

She couldn’t start till the end of next week.

And I really am doing the best I can.

I responded by rescinding the job offer.

If she’s this impatient now it’s only going to get worse when she gets comfortable.

And I’m sure she’ll be much happier at a restaurant with more managers who can be more responsive.

I do wish her well.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight at work something happened that has caused me much anxiety.

I’m still not sure I’m over it.

But here goes.

At 7:15 a four top comes in.

We’ve just sat all of our 7:00’s.

And we only have three servers instead of the four we need.

I say to the foursome that it will be closer to 7:30 before we can get them seated.

Anyone want to guess what happened next.

You are right.

They asked to sit at the bar.

I explain we take reservations at the bar.

They ask to sit in the oyster bar.

I say we have no one to service the tables.

I let them know they can go downstairs.

But they keep on.

Why can’t we sit here.

Why can’t we sit there.

And.

It’s the fourth time this has played out tonight.

I’m sure they can hear my frustration because the man says I’m not trying to be difficult.

And I said, without thinking, but you are.

He was taken aback.

And they went downstairs.

And.

I felt like I should know who they were.

But for the life of me I couldn’t place them.

They return.

Get seated for dinner.

Eat.

And on their way out I ask them how dinner was.

And the man rubbed his temple giving me the finger.

I go out and ask how dinner was again.

They are all looking at me.

When they walk away they all say good night Jeff.

I’m convinced I’m supposed to know who they were.

But I don’t know them.

And don’t recognize the name.

It bothered me all night.

I even told Adam when I got home I felt like I was losing my mind.

I even suggested it was early onset Alzheimer’s.

He laughed at me and assured me I was fine.

However, he was getting into the shower and I went down a rabbit hole.

And I finally googled bad with faces.

And turns out there is a thing called:

Prosopagnosia.

Face blindness.

Adam assured me I didn’t have this.

Alzheimer’s he was right about.

This not so much.

I’ve always been bad with faces.

And I’ve always said it was when they are out of context.

I’ve had trouble all summer knowing who people were.

And I explain it to people by saying they are out of context.

When I lived in NYC I never knew where I knew someone from?

Was it someone from work?

Someone I waited on?

Someone I slept with.

No idea.

You could pull 20 random people out of my Facebook friends and chances are I’d know 25% of them. But some I’d have no idea.

I interviewed a woman this summer who I hired and trained last year.

Hired her.

Had no idea she worked last year.

I had the hardest time watching game of thrones because everyone looked alike.

It takes meeting Adam’s employees dozens of times before I can remember them.

At work I do okay because I have names in front of me. But I have to meet them many many times before I remember them. Plus I put notes in their reservation to remind me who they are.

Then take them out of context and it’s all bets off.

I’ve gone out with the same guy twice not remembering we’d already had a date.

Until I remember he’s a dude.

Fun fact I didn’t share with Adam tonight.

When I got to the restaurant for our first date I couldn’t remember what he looked like.

I just knew he had a mohawk.

He was cute and handsome as I remembered but I’d never have picked him out of a lineup.

I truly believe I face blindness.

And always have.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

At the new restaurant we offer valet parking.

Well.

To park in our lot you have to valet.

The reason is simple.

To have enough parking for all of our guests we have to control the lot.

We also have to double stack cars.

So we require you to valet to park there.

However.

We don’t require you to valet to dine with us.

There are other areas to park.

The street.

The parking on the pier.

You’d think based on response that we were charging you a million dollars to park there.

Last week we had a woman lose her mind and refuse to give the valet her keys.

He and I both are pretty sure it was because of the color of his skin.

It was a late model Subaru.

On Saturday a family comes in outraged that they have to valet. They’ve been coming for years and never had to valet before.

And the valet is rude because he wouldn’t just let them park their own car.

Tonight a woman comes in furious that she had to valet.

She says we are trying to make the restaurant fancy.

She is the angriest of all.

She’s been coming to this restaurant for years.

She says it 12 times.

I finally say we e only been open 7 weeks so that can’t be true.

She then proceeds to tell me in the past you just checked in with the kid in the booth.

I explain we are managing the kit to keep people from parking there who aren’t dining with us and to maximize parking.

She’s having none of it.

When she’s was sharing her outrage with the baker her responded the only constant is change and that was the rudest thing ever.

She won’t stop.

Finally she’s led to her table.

3 minutes later she is back.

She and her family announce they don’t like the vibe of the restaurant.

I ask her to explain.

She says the valet.

Then they were taken to table and asked to move and was told no. Even though the restaurant is empty.

(She wasn’t told no. She was told the server had to check with the host).

She goes on and on.

She says over and over the old restaurant was better. The it was not like this before.

Finally she says that they had a better attitude.

I respond they also had rats.

She looks at me and says did you really just say that.

I reply.

I’m serious. The walls were full of them.

We discovered this during the renovation.

She huffed out.

I still don’t know why someone who drives a Subaru won’t valet.

Meanwhile he parks Maseratis, Porsches, even a Lamborghini.

But not a Subaru.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

So I’m at the door tonight at 6:30 when a woman approaches the host stand.

I say hello and she asks if we have any tables available for tonight.

I say yes, for how many?

She says 8.

I explain that I won’t have a table for 8.

She asks about tomorrow night or Wednesday night.

I say I know we don’t as I went through this last night with someone on the phone.

As soon as I say this I realize the woman from last night is standing in front of me.

She is worse in person.

Can we make two reservations.

No.

Can we pull tables together.

No.

She moved around the corner looks at the dining room and says but there are so many open tables.

Yes we have reservations.

But I don’t understand why you can’t accommodate us.

I’m getting pissy by this time.

She is getting rude.

She tells me that it seems to her that we don’t want her business. She goes on to say that this is bad business.

I try to explain how this works. I’m becoming less patient.

She is becoming ruder.

She will not take no for an answer.

She raises her voice. Telling me that I’m being rude and I accommodating and this is no way to treat a local.

During the exchange that’s been going on for 6 or 7 minutes I noticed a woman and her son standing a few feet away.

I thought they were her.

I keep looking at them as they look at her.

Except as the woman raises her voice the other woman says:

Stop being rude. I’ve known Jeff for years. He’s never been anything less tha ln kind, and caring and amazing. Stop it.

She tells her that she’s not being rude.

She pushes back and says yes you are.

This goes on and on.

At one point angry lady addresses the other woman’s son and says I’m sorry you are having to see this.

The complainer turns back to me and says I worked I. Hospitality for years. Restaurants and hotels.

I interrupt and say if you’d ever worked in hospitality you’d never treat me like this.

She continues to be aggressive. Abusive.

Meanwhile another woman has walked in.

Finally angry woman leaves.

The woman who walked in says hi I take it you don’t have an available table.

I say for you I have a table.

They end up sitting at the bar and are apologetic for the other woman, give me a tip and make reservations for tomorrow night at our other restaurant.

After they are seated I talk to my defender.

I realized I do know her. She is lovely.

We talk. She says she doesn’t know how we do it. She tells me she almost lost her temper when she addressed her son.

We catch up.

Finally we hug and say goodbye.

I tell her before she leaves that I’m grateful that she was there and Keegan’s she’d like a job defending me on weekends.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

The host tells me tonight there is a woman looking for an 8 top reservation for tomorrow night and isn’t taking no for an answer and she wants to speak to the manager.

I take the phone.

Hi it’s Jeff how can I help you.

She explains that she is a local. Her family is in from out of town she needs a reservation for 8 people.

For tomorrow.

I look. We have nothing.

She’s not having it. Can you pull two tables together?

I’m sorry we don’t do that.

Why not.

Can we get two four top reservations?

No you can’t.

Why not.

This goes on.

She asks for Monday.

Same answer.

I explain we only have one table for a party of 8.

She asks for Wednesday.

I explain we already have a 4:30 and a 8:00.

She gets mad. I thought you said you only have one table for 8.

Yes that’s true.

But you just said you have two reservations.

Yes. At 4:30 and 8:00.

So you do have two tables.

No. Two reservations. One table.

This makes her angrier.

She asks why we don’t have tables.

I explain that it’s august in a tourist town.

She explodes and says I’ve lived here for 50 years and I think then you should know better.

She tries a few more tricks then hangs up angry.

Ugh.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Wow.

I never knew being out of wine was such a disaster.

Tonight a man lost his mind because we were out of Cabernet.

Insisted we open a bottle pour to give him a glass.

The server said no.

He said it was inexcusable.

He was an ass when he left.

His girlfriend was sweetly apologetic for his behavior.

I’ll never understand this type of discordant relationship.

Discordant attractiveness I get.

Discordant financially I get.

Discordant educationally I get.

But if Adam was a dick to a server there would have never been a second date.

There is just no excuse.

No.

Excuse.