I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I don’t have a fancy business degree from an Ivy League school.

Although I did minor in business back in 1907.

However, I do know that the ultimate goal of most, not all, but most businesses is to make money.

The more the better.

So, please don’t argue with me when I say I can’t accommodate you.

Yes im sure.

No. Not even at the bar.

No I don’t have reservations for every bar seat and yes I know some are empty.

I still can’t accommodate you.

No.

Not at the empty table.

Not at the oyster bar.

I can’t do it.

And the angrier you get the less likely I am to tell you why.

But since you asked.

Im supposed to have 3 bartenders on.

I have 1 bartender.

For the whole building.

So the lovely restaurant/bar downstairs? The servers are going to come upstairs to get your drinks.

That means the one bartender I do have is making drinks for 150 people.

And it’s a lot.

A whole fucking lot.

And if I seat you at his bar he might just walk out.

And my limited business knowledge says that 1 bartender is better than no bartenders.

So no.

You can’t sit at the bar.

You can’t sit at the table.

You can’t sit at all.

And yelling at me won’t change the response.

Unless you want to bartend.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight’s drive home was fun.

Cruising along.

Watching houses go by.

Glance over.

Glance back.

There is a deer standing in the road.

I pump my brakes.

Grip the steering wheel.

Think to myself don’t swerve.

Then really stepped on the brakes.

I came to a stop about 30 inches from the precious animal.

They looked at me.

Then bounded off to the right.

I sat there.

Gripping the wheel.

Breathing deeply.

Then continued on.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I had all the things to write about tonight.

Update on email guy.

Seeing my arch nemesis from an old job at work tonight.

How the shifts are getting easier most days.

How I got 9 hours of the most wonderful sleep ever last night.

How I wish I had taken video of the tremendously beautiful 2 hour thunderstorm we had at work tonight. Watching the lightning light up the ocean.

How I was surprised with a cheeseburger at the end of my shift.

How a manager candidate emailed back today to continue the conversation.

How I hired a server.

How I have an interview for another server.

However, who had Jeff slipping on the stairs and landing at the bottom on their bingo card tonight?

I was going to lock up and got about halfway down the stairs and my feet went out from under me and I landed with a thud.

At the bottom of the stairs.

Banged up.

But.

I think I’m okay.

But I’m terrified I’m going to wake up in the am and be sore. Or stiff.

Or have new pain.

But one must travail.

I’ll keep you posted.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

When someone calls for a large party reservation they are told to email me.

On Monday I got an email saying, hey Jeff this is Steve Smith can you give me a call about a reservation I’m trying to make?

I responded to the email today saying please send me the details and I’ll send you the information.

Tonight, I look up and Steve is standing at the front door.

I go to the door, and say hello.

He proceeds to say he emailed me about a reservation he wanted to make.

I say yes, I emailed you back asking for the details.

He says the details are 2 eight tops on August 15th.

I say yes, can you email me the details.

Why do I have to email. You have the information.

Because I need it in an email.

But you have the information.

This conversation goes on for ten minutes.

What I need is a paper trail. But I don’t say that.

I don’t expect an email.

But I’ll keep you posted.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I’m loving The Bear.

It’s good TV. Great acting. Excellent directing. And the scenery is amazing.

I’m on episode 5 of season 2.

Im excited to get to the service starting of the new restaurant.

I can’t help but think back to my theater friends who were visibly angry watching Smash 13 years ago.

Smash was teaching young people falsehoods about the theater world.

Well let me tell you if that’s true of Smash, The Bear is going to bankrupt a whole generation of young chefs.

Tonight’s episode started letting us know they are six weeks out.

I can’t speak to Chicago.

But you can’t get a liquor license until you have a certificate of occupancy.

You can’t get a certificate of occupancy until you have a health inspection.

You can’t get a health inspection until you have a kitchen.

You can’t get a kitchen till you have walls, electric, and plumbing.

6 weeks.

They are choosing china.

Yes. Plates can cost 55 bucks a piece.

But if it’s 6 weeks out they aren’t going to open because they won’t have dishware. We still have things we are waiting on for delivery.

They haven’t ordered furniture.

Fun fact.

The chairs in our dining room were Chef’s 74th choice.

He’d make a choice and then:

They only have them in white.

They are in stock but cost 847 bucks a piece.

There are only 17 in stock.

There are 50 in stock but can’t be delivered till October.

They look great but their weight limit is 150 pounds.

They have wooden legs.

This was a real thing.

Tables took longer.

And have you chosen light fixtures? Paint. Wall coverings? Toilets? Urinals?

Fuck.

If you haven’t ordered the black Amex books they give you your check in you won’t have them before you open.

And 6 weeks out and they don’t have a menu.

What’s the concept. What’s the point of view.

That’s like being six weeks out on a play and youve not chosen a script.

And if there’s no menu there’s no wine list.

And wine is even trickier.

It involves day after day of tasting.

Determining what compliments the menu.

And then determining if it’s the right price point.

And once again can you get it.

We’ve printed out drink menu twice in the last 6 weeks because the inventory isn’t available.

Without a menu you can’t plan our your kitchen set up. Your prep. Your execution.

You can’t even know how many people to hire.

Speaking of hiring.

If it’s 6 weeks out and you haven’t hired a GM yet you are behind the 8 ball.

And you should have started interviewing from of house staff.

What are uniforms. Aprons?

Have you laid out your menu?

Signed up for a POS? Programmed it.

Reservation system? Programmed it.

Do you have a training plan for this star rated restaurant?

Have you secured vendors?

Linens?

Chemicals?

Booze?

Produce?

Protein?

Seafood?

Paper products?

Trash pick up?

Credit card processing?

Phone system?

Music?

Recycling?

Your restaurant is not going to be open in 6 weeks.

When you don’t even have electricity yet.

And.

To pay back 800,000 in 18 months you have to have after expenses 44,444 dollars each month from the start. 65,000 if it’s 6 months later.

The odds of a new restaurant having that kind of money at the end of each month in what is probably an 80 seat restaurant is not likely.

And no restaurant starts at capacity.

So I’m going to predict that Clair the ER doctor takes out a loan to cover the expenses so they don’t lose the real estate.

And 4 months from now they open to soft sales with lots of promise.

PS. I truly do love the show. And it’s no more outlandish than any other realistic drama. Law and order. Grey’s anatomy. Smash. 911. Blue bloods. Nashville.

All of these are or have been guilty pleasures.

And I’m excited to finish The Bear in the next week or so.

And please.

No spoilers.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Last night Chef sent me a screenshot of a bad 1 star review we got.

It was from a woman, who said she’d dined with us. Didn’t have her gift card and presented us with the receipt. She was denied the ability to use it and she and her husband were treated like criminals.

I actually thought it was from a week or so ago.

But alas I got an email today:

I am hoping you can help me resolve a complaint I have. I bought a gift card for my father for Father’s Day. Please see below for the receipt. He and my mother went for dinner last night and loved their meal (see pic below), but when they went to use the gift certificate, they were told they couldn’t use it, even though they had a printed copy of the receipt below and even though they called me on the phone from the restaurant to confirm for the wait person that they weren’t trying to rip anyone off. My father couldn’t locate the receipt on his email on his phone and the wait person wouldn’t let them use the gift certificate. She said that she needed a 12 digit code in order to let them use it. When I asked her if I could have my money back, she said I could come in and use the gift certificate, but obviously I would run into the same problem as I don’t have the code, either. Frankly, I was appalled and aggravated and she told me to escalate this to you.

We have a cottage at Goose Rocks and have been coming there our entire lives and my parents had been looking forward to going to your restaurant all summer. They are the least likely people on the planet to try and scam a free dinner. Unfortunately, they were made to feel like criminals and were very embarrassed by the whole situation and ended up spending $140 of their own money (They don’t drink, so without alcohol, this seems quite expensive for a dinner for 2). I could have gotten them a gift card somewhere else, but they really wanted to try Lost Fire. Oh well.

Long story short, I thought you should be aware of this, as this seems like an unfair practice (the lawyer in me is coming out). Please refund me the $100 for the gift certificate immediately. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Well.

Let’s break this down for those of you who didn’t go to law school.

They presented a purchase receipt.

They did not present a gift card.

I can’t use a receipt to pay the check.

I need the 16 digit code.

I can’t know for sure but I don’t think my staff treated your parents like criminals.

However, your parents got angry. And insisted they be allowed to come back tomorrow to pay for their meal with the gift card.

This might be what caused them to question what was happening.

Yes. We do have your gift card in our system.

But it was a busy night in July.

And.

Last night there was no one to look up the card as I was at our new restaurant.

As for being expensive.

Two people dining at a steak house for $140 is not expensive.

Of course the meal would have been more expensive if they had tipped.

But they did not.

As for the lawyer in you.

They should have covered business law in your first year of law school.

In that course they should have taught you that payment is required to purchase goods and services.

They should have taught you that we entered into a contractual agreement with you when you purchased the gift card that we would trade you 100 dollars in product when the card was presented.

You did not present the card thus you had to pay for the goods.

They probably covered the legality of using intimidation tactics to threaten a person or business into giving you something you didn’t pay for.

And last but not least.

It’s 100 dollars.

You are a lawyer.

I know this because you told me you are.

I’m a general manager of a restaurant.

100 bucks is a drop in the bucket to me.

I’m not a lawyer.

I don’t have a fancy law degree.

If you can’t afford to give your parents a 100 dollar bill then you need to aim higher.

Also.

100 dollars for your elderly father for an expensive dinner when you are a lawyer is kind of lame.

But once again.

What do I know?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Adam and I have the same job.

We’ll at least the same job title.

Our jobs are very different.

Where they are very much alike is that something always goes wrong.

So we can get lost in complaining about things during the 12 minutes we get to talk each day.

Last week after a couple of hard days I started to complain and Adam interrupted and said tell me something good that happened today.

Without a thought I told him. something.

I don’t remember what it was.

On Monday, we were texting and I started to complain, and instead I typed… tell me something good.

And he did. And suddenly my day seemed better.

Today was particularly hard.

Very.

Fucking.

Hard.

No specifics.

But.

I reached out and said tell me something good.

And he did.

And.

It takes the air out of the sails of what’s gone wrong.

It lets the other one know it was hard day but we aren’t focusing on it.

We don’t have to say it.

Instead we focus on the good.

When I got home tonight I spent about 90 seconds telling him about my day.

Then quickly switched to tell me something good.

What happened that was good today?

I got help on a project.

I got two days worth of tips input.

I got to chat with lots of amazing people.

I turned some problems around.

And service at the new restaurant continues to get easier.

Lots of good things happened today!

What good things happened in your life today?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Things I thought I might write about tonight!

How table 21 is possessed by evil.

How a table ordered 7 things that aren’t on our menu.

How the old people at table 55 cancelled their order, as it was being plated, because it was taking too long. All the while their kids and grandkids protested with the son saying as he paid for the drinks, I don’t know where or what we are supposed to eat now.

How a candidate I interviewed for AGM today showed up during service, ordered a glass of wine and wanted to chat about POS systems.

How I made my first cosmo in years. And it was sent back.

How I had friends that I met 10 years ago at David’s the night Laura Ray turned the lights off in the dining room show up to see me at the bar. I had not seen them since 2018.

But no.

In the shower tonight I realized I had to discuss table 23.

Table 23.

Who arrived late.

Asked the host while they were being seated if we had a window seat.

I’m glad it wasn’t me because I’d have said do you see one? There wasn’t an empty table to be had.

Instead you were sat at table 23. Triple seating the server.

Then you were annoyed the server was slow getting to you.

Then you ordered a glass of wine that took a while because I only had one bartender tonight.

You then asked the server a question about the ceviche.

Then you insulted her when she didn’t know the answer.

So to prove your point, you asked to speak with me.

You reminded me that I know you, or actually your son, and the. Asked me the same question about the ceviche.

Which I couldn’t answer.

Should I know?

Of course.

But the day we went over these things I was writing a schedule.

I found out the answer. Sent the information with the server.

But you continued to chastise her for the rest of your meal.

At one point asking her how long she’d been waiting tables and insulting her when she answered over 2” years.

For the rest of the meal you hated everything.

The ceviche was too spicy.

You stalled the French fries sad.

You said the flower arrangements were horrible.

You mentioned a dozen times how much better the old restaurant is.

And then I was busy in the kitchen so couldn’t speak to you on your way out.

And then because you can’t buy class you wrote a horrible note on the bottom of your credit card slip and left 10%.

I’ll repeat you can’t buy class.

But here’s my take.

Yes we both should have known the answer. But you’re holding a smart phone. Look up the answer don’t abuse my staff.

Yes the old restaurant is better. It’s 5 weeks from being 5 years old.

4.9 years ago but was not. From what I’ve been told the word shit show would have been generous.

It was figured out.

The new restaurant will be figured out.

The only way to figure it out is by doing what we are doing.

Big restaurants have the money to figure it out first.

Small restaurants do not.

But.

Don’t be a dick.

Don’t be mean.

And

When all else fails be nice.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Fun things from the last two days.

An 8 top shows up with 11 people. Who does this?

A 14 top shows up with three reservations.

A man who came to give us a quote on replacing our awnings came to dinner tonight. I was called to the table where his wife informed me our food was gross. Her word.

I was chastised for not having the previous restaurants seafood stew on the menu. This took 20 minutes of my evening.

My host was yelled at because our menu is not posted on line.

A man got upset because his 6 years olds house made adult size portion of pasta with butter was $24. I got vetoed on not serving it at all.

A woman sitting at the bar got upset because I couldn’t guarantee a window seat for a 7:30 reservation two weeks from now.

The awning guy was angry because he didn’t get a window table at 6:30.

A table yelled at me because their red wine was chilled. And suggested the temperature it should be set at. Which was 4 degrees colder than our wine fridge.

A woman got upset because she couldn’t have a booth. It was our only four top table left and it was waiting on a four top. She was a two top.

Another table asks if there are any window seats. There were not. They were sitting at the only open table.

A woman suggested we serve a seafood dish that her favorite seafood restaurant in Arizona serves.

A woman got angry because when you go to the website it says we are closed. It’s the old website. For the old business. We don’t own it. We can’t change it.

The police show up. Telling me they are about to tow a Maserati. It’s parked in front of a neighbors driveway. The woman is pissed when I find her. I tell her to take it up with the cop.

All in the last 24 hours.

How was your day.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Can I offer a piece of advice/suggestion/commentary?

Bread should be served complimentary to every guest. We shouldn’t have to ask for it. And it’s not a good look to charge for it.

You should really have regular shaped martini glasses. We don’t like coupes.

You should really serve soft shelled crabs.

You should really buy your oysters from the guys over there.

These flower arrangemts are just dust collectors.

The filet should be served with a garnish and a little side of vegetables.

You should have more than three desserts.

The bar should always be first come first serve.

The music should be more jazz less of this techno.

We shouldn’t have to ask for a window table.

Why don’t you serve a steamed lobster?

You should serve Fever Tree tonic not off the gun.

You need a better wine lists than this. There should be a big, buttery, okey Chardonnay from California.

We love seafood but what’s this ceviche, crudo, carpaccio stuff.

Your menu should be listed on line.

Your menu should offer onion strings.

Your menu should offer a blueberry smash.

You should save certain tables for locals.

Is this like the worst table in the restaurant.

You should fix the kitchen door I can see into the kitchen when it opens.

You shouldn’t turn this table at an angle. People want to sit across from each other.

Can I offer you some advice. You prices are to expensive and the entrees don’t come with anything.

Your bread is burnt. It tastes smoky.

It’s should not be called creamed spinach it should be called steamed spinach.

That was not pavlova. I make pavlova and that was not pavlova.

Why don’t you have steamers. Every Maine restaurant should have steamers.

It’s loud in here. It’s because of the windows. You should get coverings for them to dampen the sound.

We’d like to sit on the patio. What do you mean you don’t have a patio.

Why do I have to valet park?

The valet should be complimentary you shouldn’t charge to park. (It is).

You should offer take out for the locals.

You should offer happy hour for the locals.

Your servers should clear the tables so fast.

You should train your staff on gin.

Your food is too salty.

Your food isn’t seasoned enough.

The lamb chops are too small.

The mussels are too big.

The whole fish had the head.

I should be able to sit anywhere I like at the bar.

And I didn’t want to make the server cry but it should have been better.

I could go on. And on. And on.

Every night.

Can I offer some suggestions.

Tonight a woman said she was never coming back.

Worst dining experience every.

I suggested that was a might strong statement for a three week old restaurant.

She back pedaled all the whole telling me she lived here.

Well

For a couple of weeks each year.

Would you like to make some suggestions.