I came home without a thing to write about today.

Work was great.

Everyone was nice.

Nothing but compliments at the door.

We were fairly busy for a Wednesday too.

So we’ll just be grateful and leave it at that!

Tonight I had reservations for dinner with some coworkers. We had about 45 minutes to kill so we met at a bar near the restaurant.

We gathered in the bar at a table.

The bartender presented us with menus immediately. Told us about happy hour etc.

And she never came back.

Nope.

Never.

They weren’t busy. There were six people on one side. And one person near us.

The clock ticked. And ticked.

At first we were amused.

Then we watched her make a drink.

And then talk to the one person sitting near us.

Then make a service drink.

And we sat there. And sat there.

And I’m pretending that it’s okay because I suggested the bar.

But after 15 minutes I finally say. Okay. This was a bad idea and we left.

And I don’t think the bartender even noticed.

Instead we went to the bar of the restaurant we had reservations at and had oysters and cocktails.

We didn’t complain. Or make a scene. It just made me sad.

Around 7:00 I’m standing in my office door when a man enters the lobby.

I ask him how his dinner was.

He’s says it was okay.

I step into the lobby and say just okay?

He says, I don’t mean to complain but it wasn’t very good. Neither of our steaks were cooked well. Mine was over cooked

I interrupt to ask if he sent it back.

He did not.

He continues. His wife’s steak was so full of gristle, that she couldn’t eat it.

He continues saying this is his third time here and it’s never been good. The quality is less than stellar and sometimes barely edible.

He then says, he noticed a lot of people eating burgers at the bar and maybe we should just stick to burgers.

I kind of apologize.

He leaves.

90 seconds later he’s standing in my door wanting to know where we source our meat, because he used to be in the business and says we should definitely be ordering a better quality.

I thank him for his advice.

He leaves.

A few points.

Yes, people at the bar eat burgers. People at the bar also eat 175 dollar Wagyu tomahawk ribeyes so there’s that.

I speak to about 80% of the people who come in our restaurant. 99.999 of them love it.

When I ask how their dinners were:

Do you even need to ask?

We’ve never had a bad meal here.

This was the best steak I’ve ever had.

This place is amazing.

So.

For the same man to have had three bad experiences either means he has the worst luck ever or he’s never going to be happy.

I know what I think.

Tonight around 5:30, a server approached me in the office to let me know a guest was unhappy.

She’d ordered a medium rare filet. And she was insisting it came out medium well.

The server suggested they’d perhaps they’d given her, her husbands filet by mistake. But no. His was great.

The server had taken the steak back to the kitchen and shown the chef the steak.

His head might have exploded.

Why you ask?

The server said the chef wanted to see me.

So I walk through the dining room so I can get a look at the table.

I get to the kitchen, and the chef hands me the plate. It’s the picture of a perfect medium rare filet. Like they’d put this steak in a magazine as to what it should look like.

The chef looks at me and says I’m not cooking her another one. This one is perfect.

I ask what he wants me to do.

He says I don’t care. She can leave for all I care. I shouldn’t have to pay for a steak that was prepared exactly as she ordered it.

I ask him to replate the steak.

And I take it back to the table.

I set it down in front of the woman and say, my server said you asked for your steak to be prepared medium rare. This is a picture perfect medium rare. We are confused as to why you sent it back.

She looks at me.

I look at her.

I should point out that when she first got the steak she cut it into five or six pieces. Don’t do this if there is a chance you might send it

I walk away.

Thirty seconds later the server comes back to the kitchen with the steak and says she’s refusing to eat it.

The chef eventually sends out a black and blue steak which she still complains about.

She did tip well.

But informed the server that she was appalled that I brought the steak back to the table. That I was rude and inappropriate. She then asked for my name and the server said it’s Jeff. He’s our general manager.

I can’t wait to field that call next week.

Around 5:30 tonight the host comes up to me saying a woman on the phone is insisting she talk to me.

I ask who she is, and I’m informed that the woman wants to make a reservation for the chef’s table in two weeks. The host has done what she has been instructed to do. She has told the woman that she will make a note of the request but she can’t guarantee it will be available.

The woman is insisting that she speak to me.

I tell the host to take her name and number and that I will call her back. It’s 5:30 on Saturday night. It will wait.

The information is gathered.

The evening continues.

Around 7:00 during the middle of the 2nd turn I’m at the host stand. The phone rings. I pick up and it’s a woman who is outraged that I have not called her back yet. It’s been 90 minutes. It’s a Saturday night.

She asks if I’m Jeff. I say no. She then complains about me and wants to know if her reservation has been made. I explain it has not been made. She makes it. No mention of the chef’s table.

Seriously. Read the room.

I’m trying to decide now if I should call her back tomorrow.

We were busy tonight. But not as busy as the past few Saturday nights.

We were all chatting about it and someone mentioned that it might because of Lent. We are a steak house and people do give up meat, alcohol etc for Lent.

What are your thoughts.

PS. It also snowed today, so maybe you know it’s Winter.

The phone rings today.

Hello thank you for calling. How may I help you?

Hello. Would you have a reservation for two tonight?

Would you like the bar or the dining room?

The dining room please.

Unfortunately I don’t have any tables in the dining room tonight. We are booked.

We’ll how long are you open?

Our last reservation is at 8:30 tonight.

Then I’ll take a reservation at 8:30 then.

I’m sorry we are booked in the dining room tonight.

Then I can just come in and sit at the bar at 8:30?

Not always we might be full. Would like you like to make a reservation?

You should said you were full. What’s your capacity?

Huh?

What’s your capacity. How many people can you seat?

I don’t know? I’m not sure I understand?

How many seats? How many tables? What’s your capacity?

(At this point I make a conscious decision to stop being nice).

I have no idea how this this matters.

I want to know your capacity.

Sir. If you want a reservation let me know.

We’ll I live up the street. What to decide if it would be worth coming there three times a week.

………

So what’s you capacity.

Sir. We are full in the dining room. Our capacity doesn’t change that.

Your customer skills are lacking.

Huh?

Yes, you aren’t impressing me. Your customer service skills are lacking.

I’m not following but okay.

I’m trying to decide if I want to come there three times a week. What are your specials tonight.

I have no idea. I’ll find out at 4:30 when everyone does.

So when’s your last reservation.

At 8:30.

So I can just come in.

No sir. You will need a reservation.

Okay. I’ll take a reservation in the dining room.

…….

…….

All I have is at the bar.

He finally makes a reservation. He gives me his number.

He hangs up.

He never showed.

I kind of wonder if I was being played. The conversation was sooooo weird.

To quote one of my staff members, it’s always important to read the room.

What does this mean?

Look around. Figure out what’s going on. Is it the time? Or the place?

Tonight around 10:15 one of the bartenders comes out to say he has someone he wants to meet.

I tell him I’ll be right there.

I don’t mind. I love meeting our guests.

So I go in.

And within 6 tenths of a second I realize the angle.

The girl he’s introduced me to, is looking for a job.

She begins to bombard me with questions about are we hiring? What are we looking for? She calls off her resume! Etc. etc. etc.

This goes on for about 20 minutes.

Referring back to last weeks post about trust your gut, I’m getting a bad read on her. Something is just not right.

Then she shared that the reason she quit her last job was because she had an emotional issue because of all the drama with her owners.

Ahhhh.

Top ten things not to say while looking for a job in a restaurant.

1. My least favorite thing about waiting tables is having to get things for people.
2. The last time I was angry at work was when I punched the bartender.
3. Hi I’m addicted to heroin, but I’m trying to get clean.
4. The reason I quit my last job was because the got mad that I was alway ten minutes late.
5. I know I applied for the food runner position but I’m a bartender and I only want to bartend.
6. Yes, I know it’s July 28, but I can only work till August 10.
7. Yes, I’ve applied for a food running position at a seafood restaurant , but you should know that I have a severe seafood allergy. If even the juice from an oyster touches me, I’ll need my epi pen.
8. Yes, I’d like to be a server, but I have a curfew and have to be at my home by 9:00.
9. I want to work her but I can only work on Friday or Saturday.
10. I left my last job because I had a nervous breakdown from the stress.

All of these are true. No embellishments. No exaggeration. My favorites are #1 and #2.

My gut says no on lady at the bar.

Don’t ask for a job at the end of my 10 hour day.

And #10.

Last fall, right after I took over hosting as all of my staff had gone off to college, a lovely lady called to make a reservation.

Her name was Ruthie and she was looking for seats at the bar. I made the reservation. 2 people at 5:00.

Later that night, she arrived. She was about 5’2” and was as sweet as could be. She had her wife in tow whose name was Jane.

Seriously, you have never met anyone sweeter.

That night on their way out, I chatted with them. They lived in Mass and had just bought a vacation home up north. They shared stories, details etc.

And they left.

Since then they have become regulars. They make a trip in at least once during their visits. Always early. They stay 2 hours and are always nothing but pleasant.

They came in tonight.

It was great to see them.

I chatted with them at the bar while they waited for their entrees.

At the end of the night we all say our goodbyes.

They leave.

About 6 minutes later, my new host (her second day) comes up with the cordless phone and says there is a woman on the phone with a problem.

I answer the phone as I walk toward the host stand.

There is no one there, but the new host has figured out it was Ruthie.

So, I call her back. I can’t imagine what the problem would be.

She is super excited that I called back.

She called to let me know that the moon had risen over our back parking lot and has two rings around it. She insists I go look at the moon immediately. She says it’s stunning.

I thank her for letting me know and she hangs up.

It might be one of the nicest thing a guest has ever done.

Unfortunately I was busy, and never made it out there.

It was overcast when I left.

I’m sure it was beautiful though.

Phone rings today.

Thank you for calling_______. How may I help you?

I don’t give my name. I never give my name.

Yes. I’d like to place a take out order please.

I’m sorry. We don’t do take out.

………..

……….

WOW! You mean I can’t get food to go.

No you can’t. Im sorry.

I don’t understand. You mean to eat your food I have to come in and sit there.

Uhhhh. Yes.

……….

……….

We’ll. That’s most peculiar.

………..

Okay then.

Click.

The backstory.

Before COVID we did not do takeout. For about 90 seconds during COVID we did takeout as a way to keep the doors open and the staff employed.

It did not last long.

We have not done take out since I’ve been there.

Why you ask??

Well.

First, any restaurant I’ve worked in unless takeout was truly part of the business model has struggled to keep the supplies organized and stocked so that you are not suddenly out of lids for ramekins or plastic ware, or napkins. And if you think McDonald’s struggles to get take out correct and THAT is their business model then a full service restaurant almost always fucks it up. No sauce. Wrong burger. No French fries.

So the kitchen tanks under takeout just to disappoint the guest anyway.

Plus. Takeout supplies are expensive. During COVID we did tons of research on environmental carry out containers that did not cost a small fortune.

And.

The biggest reason we don’t do take out.

Our food doesn’t travel well.

Steaks don’t stop cooking when you take it off the grill. It’s going to continue to cook till it cools.

Grilled broccolini doesn’t microwave well.

Pasta for Olive Garden can be microwaved. Your pork chop does not.

Meanwhile your 60 dollar filet is now medium well when you wanted it to be medium rare.

So the answer is no.

We don’t do takeout.