We don’t allow people to congregate at our bar. The rule was put into place during COVID. It was there when I started. I enforce it.

For a couple of reasons.

First

When five, six, ten people get together they become loud, etc. They also they don’t spend as much money as people who come to the bar for dinner.

Second.

Our bar is often 100% reserved for dinner. Since I became GM I’m often able to turn the bar almost 3 times a night. So if someone bellies up to the bar, they are disturbing people who are spending 100’s of dollars on dinner, just so they can spend 20 on two drinks.

Tonight at 6:45 a party of 6 showed up for their 7:00 reservation.

I greeted them. Checked them in and told them we’d get them seated as soon as their table was ready.

I notice a couple of the men go into the bar but it appears they are going to the restroom. I go back to greeting people.

It’s busy.

More of the 6 tops party goes into the bar and I realize they are gathered at an open spot at the bar trying to get drinks.

I approach them and explain they can’t do this. That they’ll have to wait till they are seated.

They get angry. They want to know why.

I explain that because of COVID we only allow people to be served if they are seated. One of them says he was trying to sit there. I explain that they can’t sit there because I have reservations coming in. They are finally moving to the lobby getting angrier by the minute.

One of them begins to curse.

Not at me.

For me.

So I’ll know he’s angry.

This is fucking stupid. We are never coming back. This is ridiculous.

I go back to work.

He keeps mouthing.

COVID is over. I can’t wait till this bullshit over.

When LePage is in charge we’ll finally be able to say fuck this.

There are no restrictions about standing at a bar. This is all made up.

I seat some people.

I come back. The food runner who’s helping me says that they called me an asshole and wanted to know my name. They tell her I was rude and completely inappropriate in how I handled the situation.

I truly find it truth telling when people get angry when they are told they’ll have to wait to get a drink. I’d love to start handing out a schedule of AA meetings in town with a copy of the 12 steps.

I digress.

Their table is finally ready. I send them along with the person helping me.

The oldest of the group stays behind to chat with me.

I truly hope he curses at me. Then I can show them out.

Instead he grabs my arm which is on the host stand and explains he’s talking to me as a friend.

He IS not my friend.

And proceeds to tell me that I was rude and could have handled the situation so differently.

I don’t say a word.

Although it takes everything in me to say:

DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!

Finally he finishes and goes to his table.

I don’t see them again. They left through the back door so I never had the opportunity to say thank you. Have a good night when they left.

I can’t wait till they call to complain tomorrow. Guess who answers the phone at work? The ONLY person who answers the phone at work.

ME!!!

Tonight a regular from the restaurant I worked at earlier this year came in for dinner with his husband and two friends.

It reminded me of the second time he came to the other restaurant.

He and his partner own three small inns in the town. He was in love with the restaurant after his first visit. He would call to make reservations for his guests but could never get through. I finally gave him my cell phone number to make it easier.

Fast forward a week or so later and he and 7 friends come in for dinner.

I’m at the host stand and seat him at table 43/44.

I go back to work.

A while later my phone rings in my pocket. I pull it out and it’s this guest calling me.

For the life of me I can’t figure out what’s going on.

I answer.

He says hello, then proceeds to ask me if he might get some service.

He’s been at the table for more than 20 minutes and no one has been there yet.

I’m horrified.

I go to the table. Get a drink order. Get it started at the bar and then find their server.

He has no excuse. Can’t even explain where he’s been or what he was doing.

I see the guest one more time before I leave. He’s at the bar and we joke about the previous experience.

When I left, I called him to tell him I was leaving but did not share where I was going.

It was nice to see him tonight.

Also found out today the year round restaurant is closing for the winter on October 3.

I dodged a bullet there.

Money can’t buy everything.

My restaurant is in the middle of nowhere. 3 miles from town center. We are also in the middle of nowhere in a town that is the size of a postage stamp.

This presents lots of problems. The least of which is that transportation around town is hard to come by if you aren’t driving. It’s so bad that most of the resorts have their own shuttles.

Multiple times this summer we’ve had people stranded after dinner. They get an Uber then turns out they’ve stopped driving when it’s time to go home.

And this happened again tonight.

I know this because a man approached the host stand and said, I’ll pay a hundred dollars to anyone who will drive us back to our hotel.

I ask him to explain.

He’s serious.

I ask him who he thinks I could get to do this.

He says. Surely someone in the restaurant can drive him home.

I say like who.

He says a cook? A server? A dishwasher?

I almost laughed as I explained that we were in the middle of dinner service and if he could wait till 10:30 I’m sure someone could take home home.

He looked angry. And asked if I was serious. I again explained that we don’t just have extra folks in the kitchen waiting around for something to do.

He grunted snd walked away. I didn’t see him again so he must have gotten a ride.

I just looked it up. It’s only an hour walk to town center from our restaurant.

Perhaps I’ll share that next time.

I’m a big picture sort of guy.

I see the big stuff. I’m sometimes lacking in the small details.

This was especially true when I was designing. It’s the reason I sucked as an assistant. I never enjoyed it. And I only did it when I had to. As the LD I always had great assistants who kept up with the paperwork. Translated my notes. Did the little stuff.

As a general manager this continues to be true.

I focus on the big picture. My assistants do the little stuff. The few places this doesn’t occur is financial matters. I double cross my T’s when it comes to payroll etc.

This doesn’t mean I miss things at service. There are things I’m always watching for. Listening for etc. but I’ve always counted on my assistants to do the small stuff. I’d also like to say I’ve had great assistants. I was in good hands.

Which brings me to today.

I don’t have an assistant.

It’s just me.

I do all the lifting. All the detail work. Which is fine until it isn’t.

Tonight we hosted another event. The second since my arrival. A post wedding after party. 10:45 till 12:30. For a ridiculous amount of money.

I negotiated the event. Food. Time. Bar. Cost.

Everyone was happy.

So I needed to send them a contract. I’ve always had a person for this. It’s just me now. So I reached out to a friend for help.

She sent me a sample contract. I edited it to suit my needs.

Saved it as a pdf. Sent it off.

But.

I failed to realized it was 13 pages. I saw the first 3. The last 10 were disclaimers that has nothing to do with me. Or our event.

The couple called confused.

I apologized.

Owned the mistake. Said to them exactly what I’ve said to you.

Fixed the mistake.

Sent it back.

Except since I’d negotiated their agreement, I’d sent out four more proposals for the same kind of event.

I looked at the wrong notes and the dollar amount I entered was more.

They called.

I explained.

I fixed it.

Sent it back.

Now they had issue with the financials. They didn’t understand the charges. I didn’t quote them a dollar per person. Typically 100 wedding guests. 100 dollars per person. You know your cost. In this case it was a minimum they had to meet. That they’d never meet because they were paying for us to stay open late. Not for a dollar per person. An amount. It had to be a food and beverage minimum so that I could add tax and service charge to pay the staff.

I adjusted the wording. Sent it back.

This happened two more times.

They signed. Everything was good.

I have to say. I felt like an idiot. But as I said to them. I’ve always had a person who wrote the contract using a catering program. This person collected deposits, created the BEO’s etc. I’m just trying to make sure I can get us through service.

Fast forward to today.

First few people arrive. An aunt. Who is super sweet. I give her a tour. She’s excited to come back with friends.

Then a man approaches. He introduces himself as the grooms father. And for the next 15 minutes does everything he can to make me feel like more of an idiot about the contract. He reminds me that they are doing us a favor by being here. We are making lots of money. I can only apologize and hope he goes away soon.

He ends by asking if he could go ahead and take care of the tab.

Ugh.

I explain I can take his card information but I won’t know the tab details until the end of the night as it’s a cash bar that will be subtracted from the minimum and he’ll pay the rest. He acts like I’ve just suggested he hand over the keys to his Porsche. He says he’ll deal with it at the end of the night.

I walk away feeling like an idiot.

12:45 rolls around and it time to settle up. He approaches. I run a report and we’ve sold hardly anything. I show it to him. I think he’s going to fight this. He clearly thought it would have been more. It was 45 people who’d already had too much to drink. They spent very little money.

I explain all this. He reluctantly gives me his card after conferring with his son.

I go to the POS. Run the card.

It’s declined.

I run it again.

It’s declined.

I very quietly approach him and say so.

He gives me another card. It goes through.

But there was quiet satisfaction as I took it back to him to sign our copy.

I’ll be better about the details next time. I am teachable. And I hardly ever make the same mistake twice.

I wasn’t the only person to feel like an idiot tonight.

There was nothing abnormal about the day.

Slept great. Up on time. Left on time. Got to work on time.

Coffee was already made.

There were 28 messages when I hit the button.

Today though I had to call patio guests to cancel their reservations as rain was forecasted tonight.

I pick up the phone and it’s nothing but static.

Ugh.

I dial. I hear the person say hello. He can’t hear me.

I hang up. Call back. Same.

Three more times.

I give up and call our phone guy. On my cell.

Phone rings. I pick up. Static. I give up.

I do other things wondering how I’m going to let people know their reservations are going to be inside or cancelled.

About an hour later the phone rings. I ignore it. The machine picks up. The person leaves a message. I can hear the static. But also the person.

They hang up.

I pick up the phone. I dial.

Static.

But someone answers. They can hear me. I can hear them.

I make my phone calls. It’s annoying. But working.

I get through the reservations.

I start to call my voicemails.

The second lady has questions about the patio.

She asks them.

I answer the simple question.

She doesn’t understand.

She asks the same question a different way.

I answer.

She doesn’t understand.

I feel myself get cranky.

She asks another question.

I answer.

Short. And snarky.

Question.

Snarky answer.

We finish.

I hang up.

Make the next call.

All the while hating how I handled the last call. I leave a massage. Put the phone down.

Next call.

I get through them all.

All the while thinking about the patio phone call.

So I said fuck it.

Picked up the phone and called her back.

She answered and I explained who I was and said that I was calling to apologize for being short on the phone. She assured me that I was not and I said thank you but I wasn’t as nice as I like to be. We chatted for about five minutes. She appreciated the phone call.

I felt better.

All was good.

Except that she showed up at 7:00 without a reservation to sit on the patio.

That was closed.

On Wednesday, I got a call from a guy named David who was calling to buy his friend dinner at the bar. I took his information. Made a note on the reservation and all was set.

His friend’s reservation was at 6:00. She arrived alone at 5:50. I sat her at the bar. She was very attractive. She reminded me of the hostesses at swanky restaurants that I couldn’t afford in New York. Tight dress. Heels. Perfect long brown hair, flowing down her shoulder.

She ordered a drink.

And waited.

And waited.

And.

Waited.

We all began to talk.

Was she being stood up? If she was waiting on a date, why did someone call to pay for the meal?

And she waited.

Her friend finally arrived at 8:00. She was just as attractive. Just as perfect.

The immediately ordered.

A 2” porterhouse.

As beautiful as they were.

45 minutes to cook.

They did this not knowing their meal was paid for.

She was ecstatic to learn that her friend David had called and paid.

She came up to make a reservation for tonight.

Two people at 6:00.

So tonight begins.

And 6:00 comes and goes and she’s a no show.

I mark her as such and move on with my night.

At 7:30 I look up and guess whose standing in front of me. She tells me in her thick accent, did I mention she is foreign, that she’s here for her reservation.

I explain that it was for 6:00. We are booked. The earliest I could get her a seat at the bar is 8:30. She’s not happy. But she takes it. She sits down in the lobby and waits about 6 seconds before she comes back to the host stand.

She swings her hair, pushes out her bottom lip, and asks, “Are you sure it’s going to be 8:30? Is there nothing you can do?”

I’m just standing there. Watching a 26 year old really hot girl flirt with an overweight middle aged gay man, thinking that her pouty lip and the toss of her hair is going to whoo me into bumping someone’s reservation.

I tell her no.

I get the feeling she’s not used to being told no by middle aged straight men.

I was flattered. But I’m thinking to myself, honey you’re gonna need a different trick for this to work.

I assured her I’d get her seated as quickly as possible but in the meantime there was nothing I could do.

She waited. With her sister.

Was seated a little after 8:00.

Ordered another 2” porterhouse that she paid for on her own.

PS. Mr Douglas from last night cancelled.

Today I started my day like every other day.

Made coffee. Said hello to my co-workers. One of the best things about my job is that there are usually only three people in the building when I get there. I don’t have to be on for 2 hours.

Filled my cup of coffee, that is the size of a soup bowl, I’ve been told. My boss makes fun of me. And went to my office, hit play on voicemail, and started writing down messages.

Today was a light day. Only 19.

All of them are run of the mill. (It’s 1:30 am. I almost spelled that meal).

Except.

A message from Cornelius. We’ll call him Cornelius because that’s his name. He has called to let me know that he is calling from American Express Centurion Membership.

I just knew he was calling from Amex.

Until 30 seconds ago I did not know what this was. This is an invitation only Black Amex card. Uber wealthy people.

Anyway.

Cornelius is calling to tell me that he has made a reservation for Mr. Douglas. The reservation he made was for 6 people at 5:30 on Friday but in fact it needs to be for 12 people. It’s okay to push two tables together or we may seat the guest near each other at the same time. He finishes by saying he made a note of all of this on the reservation.

My head explodes.

Literally.

I look up the reservation.

“There will be a total of 12 guests. Two separate tables for 6 guests is what we need.”

My head explodes again.

At this point a notification pops up on my computer.

Cornelius has followed up with an email.

It states all the same information. Reservation for 6 but there will really be 12. Two tables is okay.

At this point my head explodes again.

I take a deep breath.

I’ll call Cornelius. I might mention at this point he did not leave a number with his voicemail.

I look at the reservation. It’s the number for the guest. Hmmmm. I think better of getting Cornelius in trouble. His email has a number to call. Telling me I’ll need The last five digits of Mr Douglas’ card to identify him. Fun fact. I don’t have this number.

I call the phone number.

It’s Amex. Press 1 for this. Press 2 for that. I pick a number that seems appropriate but not really for me.

A recorded voice answers and let’s me know that the approximate wait will be 35 minutes. I laugh. That ain’t happening. I’m contemplating what to do when I’m given the option to leave a call back number and save my place in line.

I do this.

I hang up.

I re read the email.

I decide to respond. I let Cornelius know that we don’t accept reservations by email (because it’s a back and forth with times and areas of the restaurant) so he’ll need to call the restaurant. I also let him know that because we can’t secure the table until we talk I’m canceling the 6 top reservation to release the table.

I hit send.

Cornelius will be out out of the office till Oct 4.

I’m reading this when an out of area number calls.

It’s Cornelius.

He starts by telling me I’m on a recorded line.

I think to myself. GREAT. THIS WILL BE DOCUMENTED.

He proceeds to tell me about six different lies.

I push back on all of them.

No it does not say leave instructions for parties of six or more. It says call the restaurant. No it does not say this. No it does not say that.

He finally stops talking and says okay.

He starts to act like a normal person and we make a reservation for 12 people at 5:00 on Friday.

End of the call.

Except for the three follow up calls from Amex.

Then.

Around 8:00 I get a call from an out of area number.

Guess who?

It’s Cornelius.

Mr Douglas doesn’t like his 5:00 reservation. He wants a 6:00 reservation.

I explain that because of the reservation behind them, there won’t be enough time for 12 people to eat.

He asks for the original reservation for 6 people at 5:30.

It’s no longer available.

He’s perplexed.

I tell him to check in with the guest and let know what he wants.

Who knows if they’ll even show.

But seriously.

How the fuck does the travel component of American Express not know you can’t just add a tag line to a reservation and add 6 people.

No wonder Joe Public thinks it’s okay.

On my first day I was told I’d learn to hate the phone.

It’s true. You all already know this.

But along the way I’ve made it worse for myself by making it better for the business.

We do not hold seats for walk ins. Adam’s restaurant is the opposite. They always hold tables for a certain percent of walkins. Different capacities. Different philosophies.

Neither is right. Neither is wrong.

I will book the restaurant to within in an inch of its capacity.

That being said. Starting the day, we do have tables that we haven’t booked. These tables are saved because one of the chef’s friends is going to text at 2:00 and ask for a table for six at 7:00.

Or.

Mrs. Freeman’s assistant will call me and explain they have had a personal chef emergency and need a place for 8 people for dinner.

Or.

We discover a reservation was made but not assigned to a table and now we have nowhere to put them.

All of these things have happened. We almost always have one or two tables up our sleeve. Until 5:00. Then everything not reserved is filled and off we go.

The bar is its own beast.

We started taking reservations for the bar during COVID. Almost everyone I know did. This happened for a number of reasons.

First.

We no longer allowed guests to hang out or linger around the bar. The seats were distanced so it was easy to reserve two tops. It helped with staffing knowing who and what to expect.

It was so successful that we’ve kept doing it. Most people know this is the case. Occasionally someone comes in and gets angry to find this out. And of course there are always the I need a drink right now people who are waiting for a table.

Most of our guests have come to love it.

Why?

They know they have a seat when they get there with little or no waiting. The key is to make a reservation.

This brings us to tonight’s topic.

Reservations at the bar.

We only release half our bar stools for reservations. We also only release them in groups of two.

All for the same reasons mentioned before. We prefer two tops. They turn faster. And most of our guests don’t even know they are coming till day of.

When I first started, the bar would be about 60% full for the night.

Why?

Because they couldn’t get a reservation. And no one answered the phone. And often their messages weren’t returned.

I changed that.

I don’t always answer the phone. But I ALWAYS return your message. Maybe not tonight. But definitely by the next day.

So after I started, when regulars would complain about not being able to get into the bar I started telling them the following.

Just call.

At which point they’d say no one answers.

I’d explain that if it’s after 4:00 probably not. BUT if you call before 4:00 I’ll call you back same day. And I’ll do my best to get you in.

So they strarted to do this.

Now. Every day I get tons of calls for bar reservations. 10 to 15. If not more. It’s great for business. BUT. When calls should be slowing down as we approach October I’m still getting 25+ a day. Yes it’s less. But not less enough to have time to start other projects.

So now the bar is still full. Keeping the bar busy enough for two bartenders. The restaurant is making money.

But I’d love to not have any messages tomorrow when I get to work.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing. Our guests are very happy knowing they can get in same day at the bar. I’m happy that our numbers are still good. And the staff is happy because they are still making money.

So remember if you want to come in for dinner and don’t have a reservation call around 2:00 and wait for me to call you back!!!

Especially if you’re okay sitting at the bar.

Two months ago people were showing up insisting they’d made reservations for the patio. The opposite is true now.

On Sunday three groups came to the host stand to be seated. All three times I explained their reservation was for the patio and that I’d mark them as arrived and if they walked around back, the staff would be expecting them. And all three times I was told that they didn’t reserve outside. They definitely did not reserve outside.

I had variations of the same conversation three times.

I asked them to go to the patio.

I’m told they didn’t want to be outside.

I explain we are full inside.

I’m told it’s cold.

I say I’m sorry.

I’m told that never, ever, ever did they book outside.

I pull up the reservation and show they indeed make it. On line. With no help from me.

The insist they didn’t.

I turn the I pad around and show them.

At this point the conversation would begin to vary.

The first group said they’d tough it out. I wish they hadn’t. First they came back in three times to see if a table had opened up. And since they were uncomfortable they decided to be jerks to the staff. They moved their table next to the fire. They took wood from a decorative display and put it on the fire. They then were jerks about the service etc.

The second table decided to go elsewhere. Admitted their mistake apologized for the situation.

The last table decided they’d push back.

They insisted they didn’t make the reservation for the patio. When I showed them they did they said our website didn’t mention the difference. I explain the reservation is not made through our website but instead is through an app. They insist they weren’t given a choice. I tell them that’s not possible. Finally they say we’ll we had no idea we were booking a patio table.

I took a breath and said.

This is not true. When you hit submit to the reservation a pop up appears and says, “ you are about to book an outdoor table. We are not able to guarantee the reservation if the weather is inclement. It continues that we may not be able to move you inside, we may have to cancel. You have to acknowledge that you’ve read this message before you continue.

Well I don’t remember that.

Hmmm.

They let me know how much we suck. For not having indoor tables. For not having heaters. For not seating them somewhere. This continues as the door is closing behind them.

I’m sorry that it gets cold the first week of September in Maine. It really is not my fault. I promise, I’d like nothing more than for the winter to be forbidden till December and for it to exit March the 2nd on the dot. Instead it lasts for 9 months and we are tougher for it.

Suck it up and put on a jacket. A light jacket because 63 is not cold.

Tonight was a shit show for reservations.

And we only had 81 on the books to start the night.

One gentleman had two reservations. One for a table with a note to move him to the bar. Another reservation directly for the bar. Same time. Unfortunately his booking the table instead of a bar stool caused both the restaurant and the server money.

Another couple had a reservation at a table. They too asked for a bar stool. I moved them once I saw it. Once again causing the same server another table. They arrived. We seated them at the bar. Then they promptly let me know that the stools were too close. They wanted a table. By this time I’d told the server she could go home. I had to unsend her home. Now the server hates me.

Two women pop in to sit at the bar. No reservations. I explain we have reservations to give me a chance to look at where to put them. There are people in line behind them. I find a place that gives them three hours. I know they’ll be gone by then and seat them. As I walk away they are bitchy because the bar is empty. The bar is still mostly empty when they leave an hour later. I try to explain that should they stay an thirty minutes longer it won’t be. I try to explain that I sat them where I knew they could take their time without causing me any stress. They weren’t having it.

Another table showed up for their reservation. Couldn’t find it anywhere. I find a spot for them in the gallery. They aren’t happy that they aren’t in the main dining room but it’s 5:15 how would I know two tables would move to the bar.

At 5:30 I realize I have a late reservation. I try calling. The number goes to a local resort. The front desk made the reservation for guess who? The couple I couldn’t find. But it wasn’t in their name. It was a completely different name.

Guess whose section they were supposed to sit in. Yes. Same girl. Now she’s lost three tables. And an hour later will be un un sent home. I also have no doubt that the tables would have been reserved had they been available on line.

All this and only 81 covers to start.