On Thursday, I’ll have been at my restaurant 3 months. A LOT of people have walked through our doors since then. I’ve met a huge portion of them. I’ve become friendly with many of them.

There is a couple who come in at least once a week. Sometimes more. They always sit at the bar. Soon after I started I told them if they called the restaurant before 4:00, and left a message, I’d do my best to get them a seat at the bar.

It’s worked every time.

The first time they came in, I recognized them from David’s.

This isn’t good or bad, just that I remembered them. I did wonder if they’d disliked me when I worked there because back then we didn’t take reservations and lots of locals were resentful of this fact. I was scolded many, many times because Ms. Smith from Marshall Point Rd couldn’t get a reservation for two on Saturday night at 7:00. They’ve never indicated this to be true. Unlike one particular gentleman who walked in, was told no because he didn’t have a reservation and said. I know you. You were at David’s. Then cursed at me and walked out. This was my third day.

Anyway.

This couple who sits at the bar called today. I got them in. There arrived at 6:30.

Around 8:30 when all the reservations were in, I was wandering around the dining room. Who’s ordered. Who needs to. Etc. I check in with the kitchen.

Doug and Marcy are finished with dinner. I ask them how their meal was. We begin to chat. They comment on a bit of drama they’d learned about. I pretend I don’t know what they are talking about. Then Marcy says.

You know. You are a good man. You are always calm. You don’t let things bother you. You seem to enjoy your job. And you’re kind to everyone.

Fun fact. I’m not a person who can quote verbatim conversations I’ve had. This is me paraphrasing.

The conversation continues. I’m trying to take the compliment but also brush it off as no big deal.

The conversation continues.

They are being so complimentary. Of the changes I’ve made. Of the staff. Of my presence in the dining room.

So kind.

They ask how I’ve learned to be so calm and cool.

I say experience. Yes in the restaurant business. But also in theater. Which leads to me telling them about being a lighting designer. Grad school. My experience as a theatre professional.

I know from previous conversations that Doug was/is a musician. We share stories of free lancing. I comment that it’s feast or famine. I tell about how I had a restaurant job in NYC that let me come and go as needed.

They continue to compliment me. Marcy especially. I’m a little embarrassed. But also appreciative. I’ve always suffered from imposter syndrome. As soon as they find out who I really am they’ll know it’s all an act. The first year of grad school was especially bad. It wasn’t until I designed my first real show that I said hey, I’m not bad at this.

My first management job I would take a deep breath as I got out of my car and pray that my boss didn’t figure out I was a fraud.

I still suffer from this.

But.

After 9 summers. I think. I might. Know what I’m doing. Most days.

So it’s nice to hear someone acknowledge that I’m good at my job.

PS. There are lots of restaurant GMs I aspire to be. Adam is one. My GM in New York. Another from home. They all make the job look easy. I pretend to be them every day at work.

They are impressed with my story. Doug especially as a musician who I think gets it.

We continue to chat. 30 minutes has passed. My staff is starting to leave. One of them, quietly tells me her cash out is on my desk.

We chat for a while.

I tell them that the secret to looking calm is to never lose your temper. I tell them about the warm wine guy. I tell them about the free food people.

They are astounded and impressed at the same time.

They continue to be kind.

It really was special to have someone notice me.

And compliment me.

And they wanted and expected nothing. No free drinks. No free food. No special treatment. Just kindness.

At the end of the conversation I gave them both hugs. And left walking on air.

It was one of the kindest exchanges I’ve ever had.

They are good people.

It made my night.

PS. It’s almost 3:00 am. As always I’ve typed this on my phone. I have to be up in 6 hours. Please forgive any typos, grammatical errors, or stupid mistakes.

I’m going to bed.

Reservations aren’t a suggestion. Just like your appointment at your doctors office isn’t a suggestion.

This is especially true as the restaurant nears closing time.

Tonight I sat an 8:30 reservation at 8:15. Wow. We were early.

Well I sat two of the four at 8:15. And then we waited. And waited. At 8:40 I sat the third of the fourth. And at 8:50 I sat the fourth.

None of this is really an issue. Except. Then they didn’t want to order. They wanted time. Which isn’t really that big of an issue at a regular restaurant. But at my restaurant everything is wood fired. And the chefs have to know long to keep the fire going. It’s not like they turn on the gas and keep the grill hot. The fire goes out. Cooking is over for the night. It’s approaching 9:00. You’re the only table left to order. We are not going to keep putting wood on the fire to maintain the temperature to let you wait 30 minutes to order when you were late to begin with.

This isn’t even really what the issue is tonight. I feel like I’ve share this story before.

What YOU REALLY CANT DO is have two of your friends show up at 10:15 to join you for drinks. First you are four people at a four top. There’s no room for two more people.

Fun fact. In the state of Maine I legally can’t serve alcohol to new guests after the kitchen closes. It’s never enforced. Not by a long shot but there you go. The law exists.

Also. We closed an hour plus ago. You’re finished eating. You’re now the only guests in the dining room.

Absolutely fucking not. Go somewhere else. I can tell you where to go. I’ve already discussed it with your server. She’ll be happy to share the details with you.

But indeed they did show up. And indeed we did not serve them. And indeed they sat there talking forever.

And indeed I had plans to go out for a drink in Portland tonight so indeed EVERYONE lingered tonight.

That’s all. Don’t do that. Do not show up at a restaurant for anything after the restaurant closes.

Our restaurant hosted its first event since I became general manager. I’ve been nervous about it for more than a month. For lots and lots of reasons.

First.

The event was supposed to be on our patio. For two weeks rain has been predicted. Finally on Wednesday I met with the couple getting married (two very cute gentlemen) and convinced them to pay the additional money to buy the whole space so we could stop worrying about the weather. Of course the rain amounted to about 16 drops about 20 minutes after dinner started.

The worst part of this decision was that on Wednesday night I had to call and cancel 110 guests for the night. Only 1 person yelled at me.

Also I’d like to publicly acknowledge that if I’d listened to someone at work this would never have been an issue.

Another reason I was nervous is that I’ve sold myself as someone who can execute these events. And I can’t be the only one who feels like a fraud while singing your own praises.

Lastly, I had never hosted an event at this space with this chef, with these team. There were a lot of unknowns.

The event went great. A few hiccups. But mostly great.

Hiccups:

We never got a timeline so we were flying by the seat of our pants.

The guests were thirty minutes late. So food was starting to die because we had it plated and ready to go on time.

We found out about the champagne toast 30 minutes before it was to be executed. Like the first time hearing of it. Thank god the wedding planner rented flutes. We poured Prosecco since we hadn’t ordered champagne.

We learned there were two vegetarians as the food was landing on the table. It was meat for dinner. Lots and lots of meat. Pivot. Salad for everyone!

Also two people were gluten free. Thank god all of our meat was gluten free.

The kids at table 13 didn’t like our cheeseburgers so their parents had the trolley take them to McDonald’s which they ate on the patio upon their return.

Things that went well.

Our staff killed it.

Food was fucking amazing.

The band was good. There is nothing worse than a wedding event with a bad band.

The cake was good. There are so many bad wedding cakes.

No one puked. Remind me to tell you about the mostly naked bridesmaid from five years ago covered in vomit.

I got hit on by a drunk guy who tried to hold my hand at the bar and was open about liking older men. It was while I was learning this that he was served his last drink.

Our chef wanted to know why gay men didn’t wear socks with their suits. I explained that rich gays don’t wear socks. Poor gays always wear socks.

I learned a lot about weddings/events in our space. I know the questions to ask now.

I put every candle I could find out tonight. The space looked beautiful. Chef even commented on the candles. The staff will hate our new candle regimen tomorrow.

I learned who on the staff is good at these events. And who should have the night off next time.

I learned that our pastry chef is even better than I thought and we already knew she was good.

I learned we should just say no to espresso martinis at the end of the night.

I learned we are going to make a lot of money next summer if we do a few events.

And I’ll repeat. Our staff killed it! They really did great work.

And last of all I learned that even though I forgot to have bread put on the table before people were seated I AM pretty good at executing these events.

For those on my staff reading this. Big thanks to all of you!!!

Part 1: I called Jason today. It went great. I explained where I was coming from. He told me where he was coming from. He was super happy I called. I was super happy he answered. All is well in the world.

Part 2: Partial payment.

One whole month could be dedicated to paying your bill at a restaurant.

Tonight is partial payment day.

Tonight a server told me this story.

He waited on a couple who were having dinner. They ordered well, a bottle of wine, etc.

At the end of the meal he presented the check.

The bill was $187.

They gave him a gift card with a $100. And a credit card for the rest. The balance was $87.

They signed the slip tipping 20%. On the remaining balance. $17.

This happens a lot.

Last week it was a table who had people throw in cash. The credit card was run for the balance. The tip was 20% of the balance.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I know people make mistakes.

But my staff can’t pay their rent with your mistake. And every restaurant in America, will fire you if you ever approach a table about a tip.

So instead. The server cries in the wait station.

And takes the $17 you left to the bar to drown their sorrows.

So please. Please. Please. Pay attention when paying your check.

We have mucho, mucho, mucho, mucho regulars. One couple has a standing reservation every Thursday at 6:00. Anther couple comes Saturday at 8:00. One gentleman’s reservations go out till mid November. Lots more make their reservations four and five at a time. I’m on first name basis with at least three personal assistants. Jen is my favorite. She lives in Chicago. Half a dozen regulars have been given my personal cell number to make it easier to get a seat. Two regulars are reading this post along with you.

The point I’m making is that we have a lot of regulars I see a lot. I do my best to remember preferences. Both by notes in their profile and a lot by memory.

For example, Brian and his wife like seats 13/14 at the bar. Tim doesn’t care as long as he can see the TV. Eric wants his back to the kitchen. Peter wants the chef’s table. Mel wants seats 11/12 at the bar. Michael gets a reservation at 6:30 even though we avoid 6:30 reservations. Georgia likes to sit in Jens section. Matt is mad at me because Tina did not wait on him on their last visit. This is not an exaggeration. And 75% of our returning bar guests don’t care where they sit as long as David is their bartender.

A lot to keep up with.

So tonight Jason called for a reservation. He actually called three times I saw his name pop up three times. I made a point to answer the last call.

Wanted to know if I had room for him at the bar. I assured him I did.

He arrives around 20 minutes later.

I seat him at seat 12 at the bar. This is prime real estate, as it’s at the apex of the curved bar. The center of everything. Also it’s prime David real estate. It’s where everyone wants to sit.

About our restaurant. About our bar. About dining out in Maine.

There are currently no restrictions on restaurants in Maine. We can seat at 100%. Including the bar. We don’t require masks. We are not socially distanced.

Our bar has 23 seats. It was 24 when I started. You are elbow to elbow. Everyone who’s been there more than once knows this.

You are sitting at the bar to meet your neighbor. I’d like to point out that this is why Adam and I often don’t sit at the bar. We don’t want to meet our neighbors. It’s not uncommon for new folk to ask to be moved as they want distance. We do our best to move them when we can.

You know what to expect. Tonight is no different.

Jason is seated. Seat 12. He has neighbors at 10/11. He’s there long enough to get his food when we seat 13/14. This is not unusual. The other host comes back to the front door to say 13/14 wants to move down. This isn’t great because I have to make sure it doesn’t throw off anything. It does not.

I’m then called over to Jason who is angry. He doesn’t understand why Seats 1 through 14 are full and no one is sitting at seats 15 through 23. I try to explain why. Most everyone requested David. He points out this is not true because the couple next to him is new. He also continues by explaining that he’s immune compromised and he is angry I’m seating people next to him. He doesn’t understand why we aren’t distancing people when we can.

I’m great at dealing with disgruntled guest. I’m a charmer who can turn most situations around. And I can also push back when I need to. But this is a regular. Who knows the chef quite well. I’m trying to tread lightly. Also I’m not good at arguing on the spot. I could never be an attorney. My best defense would be after the jury returns their verdict.

I continue to try and explain. He’s not having it. He then asks where he can move to eat his steak. I’m full. It’s approaching 7:00 by now. So he says he’ll just go.

Three minutes later he’s gone.

15 minutes later every seat, including where he was sitting is full at the bar. I was not seating people next to him unnecessarily. Yes one half was empty. But only for twenty more minutes. There was a continuous stream of people looking for bar seats. Also on a normal day I do try to spread people out. Today I was dealing with a gargantuan emergency. I don’t assign sections to servers till just before we opened. I didn’t notice that one server was going to get four tables at 7:00 until around 6:45. It was not a normal day.

I also didn’t find out till later but he marched up to the kitchen window, demanded the chef listen to his complaints and expressed his displeasure at how the bar was seated tonight.

So. Be consistent.

I’ve personally seated this man elbow to elbow to elbow literally a dozen times this summer and not once did he complain about the closeness. Not once did he convey he had health issues. It was always perfectly fine. I was actually seating him where I thought he wanted. The seating wasn’t careless.

7:00 to 8:00 is often the busiest time of the night. Tonight was no different. The bar was only 75% full. But not for long.

I am as accommodating as I can be. But I have to have all the information to do so. He could have been seated at seat 1 or seat 23. The end seats. Fewer neighbors. He could have been given a table. I had them available when he called. There were options. How have I known him as a bar regular all summer not known it made him nervous to sit there? He could have gently said something a dozen times. But instead he blew up tonight.

I’m trying to decide now if I should call tomorrow to explain what happened and apologize. Or just let sleeping dogs lie.

What would you do?

A pet peeve of someone I love!

Phone rings!

The phone rings a lot in my life right now.

I answer.

Do you have any reservations for tonight?

Yes. Why. Yes. I. Do. I have a full house. Each of those people has a reservation.

What you want to ask is do I have any openings for tonight.

It reminds me of when I was in grad school at UK and someone would wander into the theater during the afternoons while we built the scenery.

Speak the following in a serious southern accent.

Oh my god. Y’all. This looks great. Are y”all building a stage? Y’all are building a stage.

And the scenery design professor would always say. No. The stage was built years ago. We are building a set.

Is it pretentious? Probably.

But this is a kick in the bucket compared to some of the crazy questions we get.

I know you don’t have a kids menu. Can I bring their food with me?

Do you have indoor dining?

Can I make a reservation for tonight on the patio? It’s raining…. We don’t mind.

Can you cancel my reservation for the other restaurant that we made for tonight?

Can you cancel my reservation for Tuesday? We are closed on Tuesday. Yes. That’s why I want to cancel my reservation.

Can you tell me the name of the wine I ordered on Saturday night?

They go on.

It’s hard to not make fun sometimes.

What are the stupid questions that people ask YOU at work?

Let’s talk about large parties.

Parties of 8 or more.

First off.

No server likes you. They work twice as hard as they have to for parties of 4 or less. There’s a reason most restaurants add gratuity to these parties. People tip less when its a big party. My worst experience? I made 14 bucks off a group of sorority girls once. 16 girls. This was before adding gratuity was a thing. 480 dollar check. Most of the tip was in coins.

Most restaurants like big tops only a little more than the servers like them. It slows down the kitchen and can even bring things to a halt depending on how and when they order. They would prefer a bunch of two or four tops.

So let’s start with the reservation…

Every restaurant is limited to the size party they can take. Based on their occupancy and table sizes. Sometimes because of the limits of their staff.

For my current restaurant it’s 12. This is a number we came up with as a team. It’s the largest number we can seat at one table. It’s also the number that doesn’t kill the kitchen and bring the restaurants ability to get food out to a halt.

When you call to make a reservation and ask for 13, 14, 17, 19, 22 people the answer is no. We don’t have tables that can accommodate you.

And before you ask no. We can’t seat you at two eight tops. I mean. Yes we could. But here’s why we don’t.

8 and 8 is still 16. To make you happy we need to seat you at the same time. So we just sat a 16 top.

To make us happy we are going to seat 8 of you at 5:00. And 8 of you at 5:30. Which you might even agree to. But now instead of staying 2+ hours you are all going to stay until you’re ALL done. Which is 3+ hours. The other thing you’ll do is float between tables which is disruptive to the people around you.

I also hit on another reason we don’t like big parties. They sit and sit and sit. Sometimes for the whole night. 12 people at one table over four hours is 750 dollars. 6 two tops over 90 minutes is also 750 dollars. But I can seat the tables two more times.

So we say no.

End of story.

To book a reservation of six or more at my restaurant we ask that you call the restaurant. This perplexes some people. So instead of calling, they’ll book 3 four tops. And every time they are scattered around the restaurant at different times. And every time they call to ask that the tables be near each other and to change the times. And now I’m annoyed so I seat them as far from each other as I can. Especially since I can seat 6 large parties at any given time. Just fucking call.

When making the reservation, if the restaurant is trying to maximize seating, you are absolutely never, ever, ever going to get a 6:30 reservation. We only book 2 tops and bar reservations between 6 and 7. We are a small restaurant and if I seat your 8 top at 6:30 I can only get one turn. But. If I seat you at 5:30 I can reseat your table at 8:00. Two turns. Twice as much money.

Now for your responsibility:

The reservation time is not a suggestion. It’s also NOT just so we can seat the table twice. It’s to keep the restaurant running smoothly.

Here’s what happened tonight.

10 top birthday party sat at 5:00 tonight. Almost everyone was on time. BUT. Turns out they were actually going to be 11 people. No big deal. The table will hold 12.

But person number 11 is going to be 60 minutes late AND they are going to wait to order till she is there.

Meanwhile.

30 minutes later an 8 top is sat. Same server. They are on time and moving along. They are ready to order dinner. BUT. So is the 11 top. So which table gets to order first? Who is going to sit patiently especially since taking an order and putting it in the computer is time consuming? Not to mention the kitchen was fully expecting to be cooking the 11 top 20 minutes ago. The first table has slowed down the process. They also aren’t going to be gone now so we can seat the 7:30 reservation.

This happens all the time. 5:30 reservation and people roll in for the next 30 minutes. This is why some restaurants won’t seat you till everyone is there. This makes it your inconvenience. Not theirs.

And dinner has come and gone.

And it’s time to pay the check.

Tonight.

Said 11 top had 11 separate checks.

Ugh!!!!

This is going to take forever to process. The server is going to spend 10 minutes making it happen. Which means that they aren’t helping the 8 top who sat on time and is one check.

Also.

Big tops are loud and annoy other guests.

Big tops regularly order less per person than small tops.

Big tops very often have that one person we won’t call a Karen.

And yet.

Saturday night I have six big tops between 5 and 6. And six big tops between 8 and 9. And we execute them well. And they have a good time. And we are glad you have chosen our restaurant to celebrate your birthday, anniversary, retirement, celebration of life. But, please learn to be a good guest. Be on time. Be nice. Be courteous. Have one check and Venmo your friends.

And to quote my mother: Don’t over stay your welcome.

When I tell you NO I’m not being rude.

Last night an older couple waltzed in at 5:30. I asked if they had reservations and they confirmed they did.

Smith. Party of 2. 5:30. At the bar.

I look. There is no reservation for the Smiths.

I double check. I ask for the phone number because maybe they have the wrong date. I ask if they have the text we send to confirm. They don’t have their phones.

They never have their phones.

I explain I don’t have the reservation. They insist they made it.

I ask all the questions. Did you get a text. Did you give your credit card. Did you hit submit. Did you get reminders.

They always insist that they did.

Of course they did not.

The iPad doesn’t lie. (Perhaps that’s the title of my posts).

I explain I can only seat them on the patio.

They insist I seat them at the bar.

Unfortunately that is not in the cards. The bar is booked. It’s Saturday night. At 5:30. I won’t have an open seat till around 8:00.

I tell them this and ask if they’d like to come back at 8:00 or sit on the patio. They take the patio.

I book them in and send them to the patio.

End of story.

Except.

When you book a reservation with our system, you are asked to complete a survey after your meal is marked done by us on the iPad.

They completed the survey.

They complimented the service. The food. The ambience.

They did not compliment the host. I challenged them on their reservation and this made them uncomfortable. I should have been nicer. Especially because they are older and live on the most expensive street in town.

The truth is. I only told them no. At no time did they accept that the mistake was theirs. It was only my problem to fix.

We accommodated them. But it was not enough. I don’t know how to make it enough. Meanwhile, family after family after family come through and love everything about the experience including the maitre d, the host, the dining room manager at the front door.

Remind me to tell you sometime about how they respond when it’s not a middle aged man at the door.

I really really really don’t want to say no.

To quote a bartender.

Service is my life.

I love, love, love to make it work.

But sometimes the answer is no.

Last night.

The answer was. No.

Let’s pretend that my restaurant is located in a coastal town with lots of high end resorts.

These resorts are very expensive and their guests are very demanding. I know from experience they are rarely told no.

These guest will arrive and request that the concierges make reservations at various restaurants round town. My restaurant being one of them.

And so said employees of these resorts will start calling my restaurant and will continue to call until their shift ends. They hardly ever leave a message. Yesterday someone from a resort called at least 17 times. And never left a message. I know they call because of the magic of caller ID. I’m on the phone when they call before 5:00. I’m greeting people when they call after 5:00.

Today it was another resort who called. They too never left a message.

Fun fact. Call once. Leave a message including what resort you are calling from and who the guest is.

Because when I call back it won’t be you who answers and no one else will know that the Smiths needed a reservation. PS. Often it’s central reservations who answers not someone at the property.

Also, get a phone number that will get me to a person. Today I called and was not given the option to leave a message, only the option to hold for the next available operator. I have 37 messages to return. I can’t be on hold for 10 minutes.

And last of all. Do not call during service to make a reservation a month from now. Call during service if you are desperate to get someone in tonight. If you need a table in six weeks call and leave a message. I promise I will call you back.

Also don’t be angry when I ask for a credit card for the reservation. One resort had a series of reservations for guests who never showed for dinner. So we require a credit card now to hold their tables.

We want to help you. We know you. We are friends. We also want to take the reservation because it’s how we make money. But seriously. Call once. Leave a message. I will call you back. You’ll get the reservations you require. And you don’t have to keep dialing. Think of the other work you can get done if you don’t spend 45 minutes calling me over and over.

Musical chairs part 2:

While the week days at work are quieter, the weekends are still very much hopping. Tonight was no exception. Continuous flow of people starting at 5:00. And along with the people who had reservations, we had a fair amount of walk-ins.

Walk-ins for the new readers are people who come in without a reservation.

I’ll spend time looking at ways to move things around. Seats in chairs is how we pay our bills.

Tonight a man walks in with a woman around 7:00. He’s looking for a table with no reservation. The lobby is filled with people waiting to be seated. Three groups with reservations that just need a body to take them to their table. Two or three groups who are walk-ins waiting to see if I can accommodate them. I add them to the queue and start seating folks.

Six minutes later everyone is in a chair. I’ve found a place for everyone.

30 seconds later I’m called to table G-8. The man who arrived last. He’s unhappy with his table. I go back to the table and he’s expressing his dismay. I explain that his options are this table or bar stools. He stays put.

I go back to the host stand.

30 seconds later I’m confronted by him in the lobby. He pulls me into the dining room, points at all of the empty tables and asks why he can’t have one of them.

I explain they are all booked with reservations.

He then pulls out wad of cash and wants to know how much a “real” table will cost???

I say that I can’t.

He pulls out a bill and offers it to me.

At this point I’m a little offended.

It’s a $20.

20 bucks. 20 bucks is not even close to being worth the headache that giving a table awayvwould be worth.

To quote a bartender I know “It needs to be a C note if they want their pole greased”.

I say no again.

At which point he gets annoyed and asks if he can sit at the cocktail table in the lobby.

At this point I don’t care. People are piling up In the lobby again.

I say yes. Sit here.

He gets his mother. They sit. They order.

Every time I walk by he tries to talk to me.

I’m busy seating people.

He keeps trying to talk to me.

Finally I stop.

He asks again about a table in the dining room.

At this point their appetizers have arrived.

Ugh. Please. Stop it.

I go back to the host stand.

I look at the book. I can move things around and get him a table.

I offer. He accepts. He moves to his third table of the evening.

And that’s the end of the story.

Of course, if I’d been him I would have ponied up the $20 bucks.

He did not.

I remind myself that I did it for the pleasure of being nice to people not for the money.

But sometimes, it’s nice to be able to buy myself something pretty after being nice.