I’d like to speak with the manager!!!

At 6:35 a woman calls to make a reservation.  Two people at 7:00. 

We had the room.  We booked the reservation.

They arrive and are led to their seats.

They march back to the host stand, angry about the table we are giving them.

Seriously, people. 

You are lucky to have a reservation at all, when you try to make it after the shift has started.

I don’t know what you want me to do, but the table you have is the table you have. 

At least that’s what I wanted to say.

We found them a different table. 

And everyone lived happily ever after. 

Except table 25. 

We’ll talk more about him tomorrow.   

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Anyone remember 2 months ago, at the beginning of the summer when a French Canadian told me to go fuck myself because he couldn’t be seated as a 12 top, after they made 3 four top reservations.

Remember how they shouted at me about how bad of a manager, person, human being I was, because I wouldn’t allow them to sit together.

Remember?

If not…

https://id-like-to-speak-to-the-manager.com/2022/06/28/

When they left that night they were shouting that they’d never be back.

And as always, that is never the case.

Today, chef comes in and shows me a message we got on Instagram messenger.

I check both Facebook and Instagram, but not till I get home at the end of the night.

The messages says, Hello, I was part of the group that we have a conflict at your place in June. We are in maine now and would really enjoy your place again. We are open to have a talk with you and resolve this conflict with you. We are 7 and would like to enjoy this beautiful place again. Im avaible when you want.

The text is a copy and paste. English is not his first language. But that’s not the point.

First, he’s chosen a social media platform to reach out to us. To quote Chef, that is not the way to go about communicating with us about the situation.

Second, I thought you weren’t coming back to the best restaurant in town?

Chef reached out to our social media guy, although any of us could have responded and had him say: Hi! Please, call the restaurant and talk to Jeff our general manager. Thanks!

He responded a few hours later saying: Hello, thank you for you answer but we had the conflict with Jeff so im ambarassed to talk to him.

My first instinct was to tell him to go fuck himself.

However, my manager instinct says to reach out on social media and say, hi, this is Jeff, I’m willing to hear what you have to say.

But also I’d like to just say, hey dude. Actions have consequences. Guess what your consecquence is? Burger King out by the highway.

So.

I’d love to get your take on what I should do?

Take the high road?

Or tell him to have a nice day.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

The owner of my restaurant is also the chef. 

Not in name only.

He cooks.  Every night.  Front and center. 

And when I say front and center, I mean it.

We have an open kitchen and he stands in the center of it, grilling meat and exposing, which is to say, controlling the flow. 

He is on display from the time we open until about 30+ minutes after the last reservation.  (Notice how I didn’t say close?).

Here is the thing, A LOT of people don’t understand that he is not just standing there being pretty.  He’s actually working. 

They walk up and want to shake his hand.  He just pulled 10 steaks out to put on the grill.  His hand is not clean, nor does he want to shake hands with you while he cooks. 

He is in the process of cooking for hundreds of people and needs to stay focused. 

So many people don’t understand that if you are going to say hi, say hi and move on. 

So many times in the last year, I’ve had to go to the window, pretend I need to ask him a question and then intervene and steer the people away. 

Especially women.  Our chef is attractive.  He’s also very charming.   And he always is nice to whomever comes to the window no matter how busy he his, but it can be a pain if he starts to get lost when he turns back to the grill.

Tonight a woman asked if he was here.  I pointed him out in the kitchen and without thought; she marched toward the kitchen to give her compliments to the chef.

Luckily she just said hello and left. 

But I’m standing at the host stand just in case I have to swoop in and escort her away. 

PS.  It’s really gotten bad since he published his cookbook.  People go the window insisting her write them a personalized message in the book.  Meanwhile the window is full of food and he’s trying to focus and doing his best to say no, without being rude.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

This is one of my favorite things that happens at my restaurant.

We take reservations for our bar.

For good or bad, we do it. 

People hate when they find out, until they try and it and realize that if you plan a head most times you get right in for your reservation.

The thing I love is that someone makes a reservation at the bar for 8:00. 

Then they show up at 7:30 and tell us they came early to get a drink at the bar before they are seated. 

But there reservation is at the bar.  How do they think they’ll get a drink if their seats aren’t going to be ready for 30 minutes. 

This happened twice tonight.  And the first time we sent them to the patio.  The second time we were able to get them seated early.

When this doesn’t happen though, they get annoyed like we did something wrong. 

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight a couple walks in for a reservation. 

Their reservation is for the bar. 

Only I don’t have bar seats.  And it looks like it’s going to be a while before I do. 

I say to them, It’s going to be a minute for bar seats but I can get you seated a table now if you want. 

Here’s the thing, most people.  MOST.   When they reserve at the bar are bar people and they will not sit anywhere else. I assume this whenever, I say to someone it’s going to be a minute.

However, the man says, a table would be great.  We’d actually prefer a table. 

And I say, AWESOME.  That’s actually better for us all around, because we have several more people coming in for bar stools and things aren’t moving. 

He says, something else, and I respond we are glad you are open to this.  And thank you for not yelling at me because the bar stools aren’t ready. 

He laughs and says he doesn’t behave that way, even though he might look like it.

He’s a bit of a bear, with a big beard and a little heavy.  He looks like he might have ridden to the restaurant on his motorcycle. 

I laugh and say that I didn’t think that, but I’m glad to know he’s not that person.    I say, many people I’ve dealt with this summer were less patient and most of them did NOT look like you.

His wife says, OH. YOU MEAN THE PINK AND GREEN PEOPLE,,,

I took this in and laughed and asked her if I could share this observation. 

And she said yes.

So from now one, bitchy people in the summer are going to be called the Pine and Green people. 

That’s is all. 

PS.  I learned to never judge a book by its cover.  Especially in our little community. 

The people in jeans and a t-shirt arrived in a Bentley. 

The people in a suit and tie arrived in a Ford Focus.  

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

Tonight a couple walks in around 8:00 looking for a seat at the bar.

Before I can even respond the woman says, we are locals.

And here’s the thing. I don’t know what that means. And I don’t know how you want me to respond.

Locals.

Let’s talk about locals.

I use to have this conversation when I worked at a different restaurant that suggested we give locals a discount card.

What is a local?

Is it someone who lives in the tiny little community where our restaurant is located? About 150 people?

It is someone who lives in the little town where our restaurant is located? About 3,600 people.

Is it someone who lives adjacent to the little town where our restaurant is located? About 3,300 people.

Is it someone who lives in the two towns that share a similar name? 11,00 people.

Is it someone who lives five miles up the road in a town that does not share a similar name? 21,000 people.

That’s geography.

Let’s talk season?

Is it someone who lives here year round?

Is it someone who lives here only in the summer?

Is it someone who lives here only in the winter (I just learned that’s a thing)?

Is it someone who owns a home here but only uses it 5 times a year? 3 times a year? 1 time a year.?

Is it someone who works in our little town?

Is it someone who was born here, moved away and now comes to stay at the family home?

Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it?

That’s the problem, is there is no clear answer.

So my thought and response is who gives a fuck?

I’m not going to magically pull a barstool out of my ass just because you live in the area.

Besides.

If you were a local, then you should be a regular, and I’ve never seen you before, and so you aren’t a regular and so if you want special treatment, come here more than once a year.

Now, on to, I’m a regular.

I get this a lot as well.

Are you now?

How many times does a person have to frequent a business to be called a regular? If you’ve read this far, I’d love to know you answer. ‘

Is it once a week? Is it once a month? Is it twice a season? Is it once a year?

We have summer regulars and we have winter regulars. We also have very wonderful year round regulars who come once or twice a week all year long.

And you wouldn’t need to tell me you are a regular if you were a regular because as I’ve said before you’d know my name is Jeff. You’d know my partner’s name is Adam. You’d know where I live. You’d know where he works. You’d know what my alcohol of choice is. You’d know, whether I’ma cat or a dog person.

I’m a talker. I love to talk to our guests. I could chat about the restaurant, the chef, the staff, the ambiance, the patio, the community, the restaurants etc all day. ALL DAY. It’s my favorite part of the job.

So.

If you are a regular as you say, what exactly is my name?

And no, we didn’t serve you garlic butter on your steak the last time you came to eat. I promise we did not. I’ve worked here for over a year and we’ve never served garlic butter. Truffle butter yes. Garlic butter no. And if you were the regular you say you are, you’d know this.

PS. We didn’t carve your steak in the kitchen last time you ate with us.

PS. We didn’t allow you to bring your dog last summer.

PS. We didn’t let you order take out over the phone last week.

PS. We didn’t let you substitute corn as a side two weeks ago when you were here.

PS. What’s my name?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I wanted to respond to the people who said, we should say our last seating is at 8:30 instead of we close at 8:30. 

We do not list our closing time.  People call and say what time do you close and we all respond we take our last reservation at 8:30.

And they still ask the question of will we have to eat in five minutes. 

I’ve never told anyone what time we close.  It’s always opened ended.  We take our last reservation at 8:00 tonight.  At 8:30 tonight.  At 8:45 tonight.

The closing part is inferred and you can ask any of my staff, I always say to their dismay, that you may take as long as you like to eat and enjoy your meal, you have be out by 1:00 a.m.

So we are already doing what you suggested. 

I’d like to speak the manager!!!

So the following has happened like 15 times in the last two weeks.  At first I thought it was funny and silly.  But after the fourth, fifth, tenth person did it; I asked myself are we doing something wrong here.

We are open till 8:30 Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. 

We are open till 8:45 on Friday and Saturday.

The times aren’t published anywhere by us.  We say we are open 5:00 to Close. That way we are not chained to a specific time. 

We take our last reservation right at closing time.  We close at 8:30 we take our last reservation at 8:30. 

And here is what’s happening. 

Two weeks ago, I get a phone call for a reservation.  I offer the lady an 8:30 time slot as that is all we have.  Shen then asks what time we close and I say 8:30.  And she gets angry and says well isn’t that just fine, we’d have to order and eat in 15 minutes, if you close at 8:30. 

And at least dozen other times people have inferred that if we close at 8:30 they have to be out at 8:30.  Tonight a man called to change his reservation to earlier because he didn’t want to have to eat and run. 

And nowhere have we indicated that this is the case. 

Of course if you are seated at 8:30 you don’t have to eat and run.  We might, after 20 or 30 minutes ask you to order, but you can then take as much time as you need and stay as long as you like.  You have to legally be out by 1:00 am but I assure you that you won’t stay that long. 

Am I silly for thinking it’s strange that I have to answer this question?

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I was on the door tonight, as I am likely to be for the next few days, weeks, and months.

We opened the doors at 4:50 and one of the first people through the door was a couple. They walked in, didn’t acknowledge anyone and headed to the bar.

The host interrupted their mad dash and asked if they needed help. They told her they were going to the bar and she asked if they had a reservation.

You’d have thought she asked for them to give up their first born to her. They were stunned.

What do you mean a reservation at the bar? Of course not it’s the bar.

She explained that we take reservations at the bar and he said, since when and why?

I’m standing there watching the whole thing take place, thinking what a dick.

The wife then explains that they are there because they have friends dining with us and asks if they can join them. I find their reservation and unfortunately that can’t happen.

At this point the man angrily asks if we have open seats at the bar, and by now he has annoyed me so I say no. We had two. But he wasn’t getting them.

The hosts then asks if they’d like a table. The wife says yes and the host says inside or outside and the man loses it on his wife about how he is not eating outside, he doesn’t want to eat outside and he is not going to eat outside.

Then he makes a show of letting everyone know he has been here before.

He says, is Chef here, using his first name? I need to speak with him about this reservation business. He then asks if the bartender is here using is first name. He keeps going and going.

Finally he asks if they can at least go in and say hi to the bartender and they do.

The host whispers did you notice how he dropped Chef’s name like we were supposed to magically make seats appear because he knows him.

I say, did you notice how they didn’t get bar seats because the man is a jerk.

Finally they come out and I find out later went to the patio bar and had dinner there.

Of course when they got there the host outside asked if they had a reservations and the man was like, oh my god, if you tell me I need a reservation I’m going to lose it.

Fun facts that I know to be very true:

If you were a regular as your pretend to be, you’d know we take reservations. It’s been going on for over 2 years.

You’d be far better off dropping my name than Chef’s. Chef is only going to arrange for reservations for about 6 people. He tells everyone else to reach out to me. The hosts know that if someone drops Chef’s name they don’t know him, because he’d have made their reservation.

Meanwhile, if you drop my name, the hosts know that I probably do know them and might have an arrangement with them. Yesterday, I got to work at 2:30 which is late for me. One of my hosts came in early to help with phone calls because I knew I was going to be late. At least four people she returned calls to, ask for me to call them specifically.

And I did. Today. All of them were people I love and they all got what they needed. And two of them got things that were beyond the scope of what the host is allowed to do.

I can break the rules. They can’t.

So be nice to me, because I can make sure you always get the table you want. Or I can make sure we are always booked when you call.

A message from a friend of mine tonight.

He wrote:

I love your posts. Best part of staying up late is I often get to read them before I go to bed. I have never worked in a restaurant — but I am a frequent diner.  I’m astounded at the rudeness of some of the people you describe. And you have modified one of my bad behaviors. I have been that multiple-caller-no-message guy before. I’m a bit obsessive-compulsive that way but it never occurred to me that there might be a record of me doing that. OMG. My embarrassment now outweighs my obsessive-compulsiveness.