Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

Past the wine. Take a right. First door on the right.

I say this a million times a night.

It’s directions to the men’s room.

To be honest, it’s hard to find. The sign isn’t lit well.

We are all aware and the chef is still trying to find a solution.

The reason I add the first door on the right part, is because the second door on the right is the entrance to bar storage!

I’m thinking I should negotiate to get paid based on how I often I say this. Truly I’d make mid six figures.

Fun fact.

My hosts last summer told people to go past the wine cooler. It took a week for me to realize there was a cooler in wine storage. And to comprehend that they didn’t mean Bartle and James wine coolers.

Our restaurant opens Wednesday thru Sunday at 5:00 pm. This has been the case since the owner opened for business three years ago.

This means that we will always unlock our doors by 5:00 pm. Only once since I’ve started has it been after 5:00 and that was last November. Our opening the doors before 5:00 is dependent on business and how quickly everyone can be ready.

As we are operating with less staff because we are less busy than December, it takes us longer to be ready. Most days, currently, our doors open right at 5:00, because we are finally ready at 5:00.

This is a long introduction to a post about survey we got this week complaining about the “host” who made people wait outside in the cold last weekend.

It’s because:

We weren’t ready open.

I wasn’t being mean.

I also had no way of knowing that they’d walked to the restaurant.

We can’t be expected to open early. We can’t be expected to let you in.

Once you enter the building we are open. Someone has to greet you. Instruct you as to what’s going on. Entertain you till it’s time to seat you.

I also can’t give instructions across the restaurant once you’ve entered. I can’t leave the host stand to make sure we are ready.

And I’d bet my next five paychecks that you’d be annoyed that you couldn’t just be sat since you were there.

Would you do the same thing at the mall?

Would you do the same at the grocery store.

PS. We are all doing the best we can. Please stop beating up on us.

I was hosting tonight. As I’m always doing during the week.

A man arrives with two teenagers. He tells me his name and he says the fourth will be right behind them.

I ask if they’d like to wait. Or be seated.

He’s says they could be seated. A server arrives at this moment and off they go.

About 90 seconds later a woman walks through the door.

Gives me her name. She’s joining the man and the two teenagers.

She asks how she’ll find them. I explain that I’ll show her to the table.

She then says she needs to use the restroom.

She starts to go in and stops and turns to me and says I’m about to have dinner with my future ex husband. I hope we can make this fast.

I was kind of floored. No one has said this to me before.

In my head I’m asking does he know he’s going to be your ex husband? Do your kids know? Do you need a shot of bourbon? Will this be ugly? Why are you divorcing him?

I kind of laugh and say I’ll make sure the server brings wine as quickly as possible. She laughs and goes into the restroom.

They were in and out in 57 minutes.

I wasn’t at the door when they left so I have no idea how it went.

But I do have more questions I’ll never get to ask.

Let’s talk about the verbal tip.

The verbal tip is when a guest goes out of their way to tell a server how great they are.

Oh. My. God. You were the best server I’ve ever had.

You were so sweet and friendly. Thank you for taking care of us.

You are the funniest server I’ve ever seen. You had us laughing the whole time.

Wow! Please tell us you’ll wait on us next time we are in.

The verbal tip is awesome. Everyone likes to be told they are good at their job. People like to be liked.

Do you know what’s not awesome???

A verbal tip followed by a shitty tip.

Oh my god you are the best server I’ve ever had. Followed by 12%.

You were so sweet and friendly. Followed by 10%.

Will you take care of us the next time we are in? Followed by no tip at all.

Servers loved to be told they are great. But their landlord won’t take a compliment for their rent. Toyota won’t let them pay their car payment with a compliment.

A server I know used to say, don’t sit there sucking my dick for 20 minutes making me feel good, then leave a 6% tip.

So by all means compliment the staff. The host. Me. The server. The chef. The bartender.

But fucking leave at least 20%.

At least.

If your server was that good you might think about 23 or 24%.

I got scolded tonight.

My restaurant, inside, is divided into three parts.

The bar.

The main dining room.

The gallery.

The gallery is a green house space with four large tops (8 to 12) people. Four 2 tops.

The gallery was originally garden space between the restaurant and the house it’s attached to. The chef had it enclosed two years ago. Then during COVID had it heated and air conditioned. It’s a beautiful space.

Yes, it’s heated and air conditioned but it’s not insulated. So we struggle to stay cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

The key. The key. The key.

Is for the back door to never be opened summer or winter.

There is an emergency exit from the gallery that leads to to the parking lot.

The minute the door opens the heat/air conditioning is sucked from the space because of the air being sucked out by the hoods.

In the winter when it’s 5* degrees like today it’s really bad. The temperature in the gallery will drop 30 degrees in 30 seconds.

The door can’t be locked because it’s a fire exit.

There is a sign that clearly says use front entrance.

So tonight I look over and two people are seating themselves at the bar. Oh no you dihn’t.

I meet them at the bar, explain they need to check in with the host.

I know. You only want to sit at the bar. You still need to check in with her. Yes. I know. Just a drink and a snack. I appreciate your ability to be fast. Check in with the host.

They eventually get seated.

Fast forward 90 minutes and they are getting ready to leave.

They start toward the gallery to leave. I stop them and explain they need to leave through the front door.

You’d think I called her some unfortunate name.

She was outraged.

She started to scold me about how close it was to the parking lot. Etc etc.

She ended by saying we should lock it if we don’t want it used.

It’s a fucking emergency exit. It doesn’t have a panic bar. It has to be unlocked.

Fuck this.

Some times I’d like to say open your own restaurant if you want different rules.

Meanwhile the people in the gallery want a comfortable dinner. In a warm space.

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

We received a postcard in the mail over the weekend. It took all of us a couple of reads to figure out that it was not a complaint but a compliment.

The card read:

LF Team:

I’ve been here four months. The steak is horrible. You still have to crown. The service is worse than the steak. Merry Christmas.

Turns out it was from a regular who was transferred to France for work.

He came in a lot and loved loved loved our restaurant.

We all laughed once we figured out who it was from.

Tonight was the slowest, I mean the quietest day at the restaurant in over a year.

We sat our last reservation at 7:30. A two top at the bar. We sat all our other reservations by 7:00.

Whew. It’s going to be an early night.

8:00 came and went and everyone is finishing up. Including the two top at the bar.

8:30 comes and goes and everyone is starting to leave. Including the two top at the bar.

By 9:00 everyone is gone except for table 25. A four top sat at 7:00.

And sit they did.

At 10:00 they asked for refills on their water. They finally gathered their coats and left at almost 10:30. For 90 minutes they’d been the only guests in the restaurant.

They leave and I wait for the server to finish up. She comes over to sit with me to do her cash out. At this point I learn that the table had only tipped 16% on a 300 dollar tab.

I usually don’t get involved with servers and their tips. On the whole the guests at my restaurant treat the staff very well. But this annoyed the fuck out of me.

The server, me, the bartender should have all been home drinking a cocktail by 9:30. Now we all three had a 45 minute drive for a fraction of the money it should have been.

Frustrating to say the least.

https://www.distractify.com/p/server-coupon-hack-tiktok?utm_source=dfy&utm_medium=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2VYTpK0mQW10ZDTLUOux4hJXQSLVAsdUafQ1QgBhUrvIzSY6ZtImVkffU

I’ve been in the business for a million years. Oh the stories I could tell. And someday might. The scamming has always been strong. There is a reason the computerized POS came in to play. Yes it made things faster but it stopped a million people from stealing.

I’ve never caught a server/bartender stealing with an original system. And it’s stealing. No matter how you play it.

What amazes me is the support for this girl by the general public. Do they support the bank teller skimming? Or the grocery store clerk skimming. Or the line cook walking out with steaks.

Thoughts on this??

I gave up Diet Coke 529 days.

I mostly stick to club soda.

When I drank Diet Coke I’d drink McDonald’s fountain Diet Coke whenever I could. I’d drive five miles off an exit in the highway to get a McDonald’s Diet Coke.

Now that I don’t drink diet soda I often just take a can from the fridge.

But.

When I’m out running errands I like to drive through and get a fountain soda. McDonald’s is still the best.

Here’s the problem.

McDonalds doesn’t have a button on its computer sumtstem for soda water. Because of that the following two things always happen.

First I have no idea what it’s going to cost.

I’m almost always told they don’t sell soda/seltzer water.

The cost is either free, 22 cents, 1.08 (the cost of a Coke), 1.26 (the cost of a sweet tea), 1.76(I have no idea why).

There’s no rhyme or reason. I can drive through the same McDonalds three times in one day and it will be a different price each time.

As for being told they don’t serve it. This is the reason for the post. I have yet to find a way to say that yes they do without sounding rude. And the kid on the window isn’t interested in a dialogue. And I don’t want to be an ass.

But they DO have soda water. I’ve even watched how to make it on the fancy machine so many times that I sometimes explain how to make it.

So how do I order, then explain they do have it, without being an ass. I am also sure to check myself for impatience. I’m not annoyed. At this point it’s just funny. I also don’t mind paying, although a consistent price would be nice.

Any advice?

Reservations are funny things.

You’ve told a business that they have to hold a table for you. That you will come and spend money at 7:15 if they seat you at a table exactly at this time.

My favorite is the comments/requests/demands that are added to the reservation.

Most are awesome.

Birthday. Anniversary. Retirement. Promotion.

Some however are demanding.

I insist you move me to to this specific table. Or provide this specific item. Or do this insane thing.

However.

Sometimes they are funny.

Not on purpose.

This week someone requested a window seat with a water view. (We are in the middle of nowhere. Definitely not near the water.).

Someone else requested we have mussels brought to the table as it was their favorite. (We haven’t served mussels since I worked there!).

Someone else insisted we call them to arrange payment before they arrived.

The thing no one realizes is that when we are busy we don’t often look at these requests until day of.

We will accommodate them with in reason.

But we don’t have window seats. And we are a mile and a half from the water.

We can’t provide you a menu item we don’t serve.

I also seriously, seriously, seriously mean it it that if you need something something specific call the restaurant. Sometimes it’s a 17 year old kid who reads this first. And they won’t be able to help you.

And I’ll finish by saying that allergy info is great. But remind your server. We pay attention but if it’s life and death say it to everyone you come in contact with.

I wanted to put a bowl of water on the table for the water view guy and say here you go!