Climb every mountain!!!

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

My friend Michelle and I have been on many adventures.  

The most exciting, difficult, challenging, rewarding, and overwhelming was hiking the Grand Canyon.  

In the spring of 2002, I flew to San Francisco to join Michelle in driving back home to Chicago.  She’d been there working there for a year, and was going home.  

We left San Francisco, drove down the Pacific Coast Highway, to LA, where I visited my friend Donna Jo. The most memorable part of that visit was how fucking hot it was, “oppressive” to quote Donna Jo.

From there we drove to Santa Fe, to visit a friend, then to Vegas, and from Vegas we drove to the Grand Canyon.  

We checked in to a hotel, knowing that we had to be up early the next morning for our hike.  

We got to bed early, set our alarm and were asleep by 10:00.  

Rise and shine.  We were up and parking at the Canyon at 5:00. 

When we arrived at the top, there was a sign that said, DO NOT TRY AND HIKE THIS IN ONE DAY.  IT CAN’T BE DONE.  

I asked Michelle about this, and she assured me that her friends had done it.  

We walk closer to the beginning of the trail down, passing at least 4 million other versions of this sign. 

I’m assured that it doesn’t mean us.  

And down the trail we start. 

Fun fact.  

We are amateurs.  In the truest sense of the word.  

Our provisions include a back pack, a camera, four bottles of water, and I think 4 power bars.  That’s it.  Why the fuck would we need more water, or food than that.  

Down we go.  Chatting all the way.  We pass a couple of water stations, but we have all we need so we keep going.  

The trail is beautiful and we are bonding as we frolic down the steep incline.  

It was not a short trek down, but after a few hours, the trail flattens out and we are at the bottom of the canyon.  The river is in front of us.  There is a camp ground.  There are people that have passed us, setting up camp.  

We take in the site, I snap a few photos, that are in a box in my bedroom.  

And we start back up. 

Within 30 minutes Michelle realizes that it’s going to be a bit harder than we thought.  We are taking it slow.  And are still having fun.  

However, it’s hot.  And we are drinking our water.  

Soon there is only one bottle left.  I suggest that we ration it.  

And we climb.  And we climb.  And we go slower.  And slower.  And slower.

And soon we are out of water.  

And we climb.  And we climb.  And we climb.  

It doesn’t help that we don’t have a map, so although we are passing landmarks, we have no idea who much further it actually is to the top.  

By this time, I’m getting tired.  Michelle has become exhausted.  

And still we hike.  

Our power bars are long gone.  I’m thirsty, but fun fact, I don’t get hangry.  I can go all day without eating and it really doesn’t bother me.

Michelle on the other hand, needs a sandwich every so often.  

At one point she shouts at me, go on without me.  I’m giving up.    

I don’t.  I walk ahead, then back.    Walk ahead, then back.  

And around 7:30, I walk ahead and discover that we are at the top.

I run back down to her, and say you are almost there.  

And around 8:00 we both crest the hill.  

We sit on a bench.  Exhausted.  

We then notice that there is a visitor’s area with a coke machine.  We are armed with two sodas in no time.  We are sipping our sodas when the bus to take us back to our car comes.  And the driver tells us we aren’t allowed to have beverages.  I assure her that we are breaking the rules today, and she wasn’t happy, but she didn’t argue. 

She dropped us at our car and we drove back to our hotel.  We showered, and then went to dinner, where we laughed and laughed at how crazy it was that we’d just done what we’d done.

And we’ll always have Paris. 

And we’ll always have the Grand Canyon.  

So sue me, sue me…

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I could NOT sleep the other night. At 3:00 a.m. I was wide awake, lost in memories from my far past.

At one point, I picked up my phone and was scrolling.

I saw a post, and it reminded me of a friend I had in Lexington back in the early 1990’s. I’ve thought about him often, but that night I went down a rabbit hole of Google trying to find him.

It took a bit, but about halfway down the second page, I found his obituary. He died in 2003 and from the sounds of tributes on the page, he had not been well mentally or physically.

I had the breath knocked out of me. We had been buddies.

Which reminded me of something that happened, when I stopped by his work one day.

He cut hair for a living. I knew he got off around 5:00 and I met him at his shop. We went down the street to get ice cream and then walked back and sat on a bench in front.

We were chatting minding our own business when a man in a jeep drove by and called us f*gs.

I didn’t know what to say, but my friend was having no part of it.

He watched the man park a couple of stores down and go inside.

I sat there, as he went down to the jeep, pulled out his keys and etched f*g on the side of the man’s jeep.

He was almost back to the bench when the man started yelling.

We both ran into the shop, out the back door and hid.

We thought we’d escaped.

Except the next day, the police show up and they ask if he was involved. He assured them it was not him. A few days later, he is served with papers. The man whose jeep he keyed has decided to sue him.

When you cut hair, you know a lot of people.

In fact. Some of the people whose hair you cut might just be attorneys. Some of them might be very good attorneys who, tell my friend that they’ll take care of it.

The attorney, does a little investigation and discovers that the jeep driver is about as pure as you’d expect him to be. He has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, AND he owes several years back child support.

When all was said and done, jeep driver ended up in jail, the lawsuit was dismissed and hopefully jeep driver learned not to be a bully when your friend has a good attorney.

And as because it never ceases to amaze me, I was called a f*g today while driving, because I tapped my horn behind someone who was sitting in an intersection they had the light in.

It certainly told me all I needed to know about him.