I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I mentioned a few days ago that a lovely lady named Marge, from Chicago, graciously paid me to apply and go to grad school.  Well, my portion of the lawsuit win did.  

I was old by grad school standards.  

I’d be 38 when I started, and 41 when I finished.  MOST theater grad students are in their late 20’s, early 30’s.  Looking back, I can see that more than even wanting to pursue a career in theater, getting my MFA had always been a bucket list item.  

Something, I needed to prove to myself that I could do.  

Around Christmas 2002, I started looking into schools that I wanted to apply to.  

I was lucky, in that I had a bit of a nest egg, so I could travel to take a look at different programs and their facilities, and then decide where I wanted to attend.  

Here’s a little throw back, back story for those who are interested.  

I’d already applied and been accepted to an MFA lighting program.  I’d even attended one semester.  To say it was not a good fit, was the understatement of the decade.  I was miserable from week one.  I did NOT click with the design professor.  I confided in the head of the design department, my concerns, who promptly shared my concerns with my professor.  At the end of my first semester, I was called in to an end of semester review and told that I had a bad attitude.  I looked at my professor and laughed, and said “Oh. My!  I thought it was you with the bad attitude.” When I left, I was on academic probation.  

I never went back.  

I called my professor’s office and told him that I wouldn’t be returning after the holidays.

My favorite bad attitude Jeff story, is that I was walking down the hall, during a work call, with a 2^nd year lighting student, who was kinda my boss at the time.  A stage manager walked by, and asked me a question about a project we were working on.  About half way thru my answer, the lighting student, interrupted and said, you’ll need to answer that question on your own time.  Now is NOT that time.  

Needless to say, I never regretted for a second that I left.   And now having the ability to compare two programs, the two weren’t even in the same universe.  The professor I ended up with for all of his faults, was spectacular and he loved working with students.    

But I digress.

I was a bit delusional.  I hadn’t lit a show in three years, although I had a very nice resume and portfolio.  I had been focusing on earning a living, and had not done any theater.  I hadn’t even seen much theater.  

In January, I flew to West Lafayette, Indiana, to visit my friend Russ Jones.  I’d been his first design student as a professor at the University of Kentucky, and he graciously agreed to help me put my portfolio together. 

I’d spent a small fortune, printing about a million photos of my work.  It’s funny.  A photo taken with an I-phone now is a billion times better than the slides I was working with from 35 years ago.  

That being said, I’d done a TON of shows.  Musicals.  Dance.  Straight plays.  An opera or two.  I’d even lit Ben Vereen back in the late 80’s.  

We printed, and cut and glued and 24 hours after I got there, I had a brand-new portfolio case, filled with a pretty impressive portfolio.  

Now for applications. 

I was attending URTA auditions in NYC to see who might be interested in me.  I didn’t think I’d be accepted anywhere, so maybe the University of Detroit, in Wisconsin might be interested in an old man.  

That being said, I made a list of my top three choices.  

Yale.

NYU.

UCSD.  

I thought, if you are going to swing, swing big.  Even if you ARE delusional.  

URTA auditions were first.  And damn, did I get feeback.  Good feedback.  I didn’t feel as obsolete as I had a month ago.  Several schools showed interest.  Schools that I was interested in as well.  

A week or so after URTA auditions I had auditions scheduled with NYU and USCD.  

Full disclosure.  I never finished applying to Yale.  As much as I’d have like to have  gone there, even with the money I had in the bank, I’d be broke, broke, broke when I finished.  

My interview with UCSD went great.  I met with Judy Dolan and had a great conversation.  It was relaxed, comfortable and very down to earth.  

My interview with NYU did not go great.  It doesn’t matter who I met with, but when they asked me who my favorite Broadway lighting designer was, and I told them, the LD in front of me, said, “Well why isnt’ it me?”  The conversation did not flow.  It was anything but fun.  It was a job interview for a job I didn’t want.  

URTA auditions were in January.  

And I made decision to visit the schools I was interested in.  

University of Connecticut

University of Maryland. 

University of Missouri, Kansas City.  

University of California, Los Angeles

University of California, Irvine

Cal Arts.  

I visited all of the campuses.  

University of Connecticut.  (Had a great time.  Loved the visit.  But the theater looked very similar to the University of Kentucky Guignol theater.)

University of Maryland. (Loved the theaters.  Really liked the professor.  But the program was researched based and I wanted to be production based.  Saw an okay production of Hot L Baltimore.)

Cal Arts.  (I actually don’t remember a lot about it.)

University of Missouri, Kansas City.  (LOVED the LD professor, LOVED that it was associated with Kansas City Rep, saw a great production of Guy and Dolls.)

University of California, Los Angeles  (The interview started about 90 minutes late.  That’s all I remember.)

University of California, Irvine. (Loved the spaces.  Loved the LD professor.  All three of them.  Got to sit in on a class, that was awesome.  AND.  They taught Vectorworks which was important to me.)

UCSD.  (Loved, loved, loved it.  Loved Chris Parry.  Loved the spaces.  Loved that it was associated with the La Jolla Playhouse.  Hated that they didn’t teach Vectorworks.  Hated that the school didn’t design musicals, which I thought I wanted to do.)

URTA’s is a big deal for a lot of people.  And the rules are, that you can’t offer students admission until a certain date.  On that date it’s like joining a fraternity.  You get calls from teachers who offer you acceptance, and let you know financially how the school can help.  

I was accepted to all the schools I visited.  

Of the conversations I had, the saddest was with the professor from UMKC who said, I want you to come here, but I know that I can’t compete with UCSD and NYU.  If it doesn’t work out, let me know, we’d really love to have you.  

I didn’t accept anywhere right away.  

I had been waitlisted at NYU, and around this time, I was finally offered a place.  I didn’t take it because once again, I’d be broke, and homeless after paying tuition, and their spaces were kind of meh.  

I was waiting on UCSD. 

And waiting.  

And waiting.  

And waiting.  

I reached out to Chris and didn’t hear back.  

And waited.  

And waited.

Eventually, I accepted that I was not going to be accepted to UCSD.  

So, I called UC, Irvine and accepted their offer.  

24 hours later, Chris Parry called.  

What the fuckety fuck. 

Turns out, there had been a missed email, he’d been traveling, he’d been designing.  He called to offer me a spot.  Not a spot.  THE spot.  The only LD student they were accepting in 2003.  

Fuckety, fuck.  

I said thanks but no thanks. 

He wanted to know why, and I explained that I’d already accepted to UC Irvine when I didn’t hear back from him, AND UCSD didn’t teach Vectorworks, AND they didn’t do musicals.  

Chris ended up calling at least three or four times.  

AND.

At one point my phone rang and it was Walt Jones, the chair of the department at UCSD, explaining that we would figure a way to teach Vectorworks AND the department didn’t do musical but the La Jolla Playhouse did lot of musicals and if that’s what I was interested in, they’d be sure I worked on more than one or two.  

I said, let me think about it.

And for 48 hours, I fretted.

I’d already accepted at UC, Irvine.  

But I really wanted to go to UCSD.  

I called Chris and said, I’ll do it.  

I called UC Irvine back and said, I’ve changed my mind.  The LD professor never spoke to me again.  

In July of 2003, I moved to San Diego.

I lived in Hillcrest, the gay area of town.  Two blocks from Balboa Park.  

And the whole point of this gay article is to say, that for the entire month of August 2003, before classes started, I went to Black’s Beach.  The nude beach in San Diego.  It was not sexual at all.  It was nice normal people, sun bathing nude, and I happened to be in the best shape of my life.  

Trust me when I say, there is nothing better than swimming in the ocean nude.  

In mid-September, school started and I never went back to Black’s Beach.    

My three years at UCSD were perfection.  I made amazing friends.  I became a better artist than I ever thought possible.  I worked on brilliant shows that stretched all of my limits.  And I was never told I had a bad attitude.  

And Chris Parry, god rest his soul, was brilliant.  BRILLIANT.  He made it his mission to make sure the education he promised was the education I got.  

I learned Vectorworks, taught by someone from UC, Irvine.

And I designed two musicals while I was at UCSD, even though they don’t do musicals.  

Go figure.