Maine

If you were gay!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

June is Pride Month.  

A whole month dedicated to the celebration of all things LGBTQ+.  

So by default, a month to celebrate me.  

For you innocent bystanders it’s in June because of the infamous Stonewall Riots, that took place on the last weekend in June, in 1969.  It was a few days after the death of Judy Garland, and a large number of queer folks had gathered at The Stonewall Inn to mourn.  In the early morning hours, the police raided the bar, because two men dancing was illegal, and men dressed as women, was even more illegal.  

What resulted was a pushback from the LGBTQ community.  Bricks were thrown.  Police cars overturned.  The riots went on for several days, escalating again each night.  

This is often considered the beginning of the gay right’s movement.  Which is a OVER simplification as both men and women had been pushing for the overturn of anti-gay laws.  

However, this was a big turning point, resulting in public marches and men and women openly fighting back.   This is why June is Pride Month.  

Not every city holds their pride march in June.  They are spread throughout the year, so that people from all over can attend.  NYC’s pride march is always the last Sunday in June.  Maine’s celebration is the weekend prior.  

This Saturday Portland held it’s annual Pride Parade.  The weather was beautiful.  For the first time in 17 weeks, it didn’t rain on Saturday.  I always say it’s because God likes the Gays.  The turn out was insane, the parade was a lot of fun, and I got to hang out with my friend all afternoon.   

On Sunday, Adam and I went to the Peak’s Island Tea Dance.  It’s the first time I’ve even gone, but it will not be my last.  It’s a great opportunity to hang out with all the gays in southern Maine, day drink and see amazing entertainment by the drag community. 

This year’s headliner was Detox, from Rupaul’s Drag Race, who really was not more stellar than our local queens.  

Long story short, it was fucking fun weekend, and it was fun to spend it with my people, watching great live entertainment, and celebrate while we can the fact that we are free to live our lives out of the closet, openly.  

I hope all of you have celebrated Pride Month this June in your own way.  And remember, things are fucked up right now, so it’s important to make a lot of noise.  Demand to be seen.  And remember, if you are not part of the LGBTQ community, your kids are watching.  They are deciding if it’s safe to share with you their own story.  If they tell someone before you, you now know why.  

So keep right to the end. You’ll find your goal my friend. Find your friend. Then the prize you won’t fail find your grail! Find your grail!

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It’s the day after Labor Day!!!

I met two employees at a bar tonight for a post cleaning cocktail and the bartender said, “Cheers to local’s summer!”  It’s the time of year when you begin to see the winter locals come out of hibernation. 

They are splotchy white, from lack of sunshine, as they’ve been hiding in their homes, counting down the days to Labor Day when it’s safe to come out into the light.  

It’s a miracle of miracle every year when we get to the date.  

Trust me, we MUST have the summer.  It’s how, my staff pays their rent in January.  

It’s how the restaurant pays its labor in the depths of the winter.  

As manager’s we preach to our staff, save your pennies, because Winter IS coming.  

Although, since Covid, winter has not been as deserted as before.  There are still people in town.  There are more people traveling north.  There are just more people in general.  So it’s not as bleak as it was in 2013, when I had January nights, with a bartender and two servers, and we did 4 guests.  2 two tops.  

And you must never, ever close early.  

My restaurants were closed today for cleaning.  Twice a year, we shut down and power wash the shit out of everything.  Every nook and cranny gets a wipe down, or a coat of paint.  We’ll finish up tomorrow, have a staff meeting, and reopen on Thursday.  

You could sense a difference in the team today as everyone was happy and fun.  We had the music pumping and most everyone was in a good mood. 

We now turn to cruise ship season and leaf peeper season.  

These are NOT the same people who vacation in the summer.  It takes money to summer in Maine.  Hotels are upwards of 600+ dollars, even more if you have a view.  

The people we get now, are retirees, and families, who come to Maine to see the leaves change and enjoy the cooler weather.  

Speaking of cooler weather, it dropped to 48 last night in Portland.  

We still have the a/c on.  

We also start to get a plethora of cruise ships and tour buses.  These are 100% retirees, who have come to Maine to see the leaves.  They come off the ship and buses and go to the closest restaurant selling chowder and lobster rolls for the cheapest price.  We are a little bit too far away from the wharfs to see them, but occasionally they venture up to us.  They are in a hurry, and are not known for tipping.  When I worked in KPT during the teens we saw them, and because we didn’t offer them a discount they often didn’t stay. 

Oh. And they need the whole process to take less than 30 minutes.

The whole point of this post is to say, we made it to Labor Day.  

I 100% guarantee you every hospitality worker in Portland has had this conversation in the last two days. 

 I guarantee you.  

It’s a conquest every year. 

Like passing the bar exam. 

Like killing the Night King. 

Like melting the Wicked Witch.   

Like pulling the sword from the stone?  

Like finding the Holy Grail. 

Like winning gold at the Olympics.  

It’s that.  

Without the fame and fortune.  

A weekend in the country, would be charming, and the air would be fresh.

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I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

It’s the third weekend in July.  

That means it’s the weekend of the Yarmouth Clam Festival.  

That means it’s just six weeks till Labor Day Weekend.  

It means that we are half way through the summer season in Maine.  

And it also means it’s Camper’s Weekend.  

AHHHHHHH.  

That was a chorus of angels singing.  

What is Camper’s Weekend you ask?  

Well.  

Let me tell you.  

There are around 150 summer camps in Maine.

Many of these camps are sleep-away camps.  

Many of these camps welcome kids for several weeks at a time.  

And most of these camps DON’T allow visitors on the regular.  

So.  

One weekend, in the middle of the summer, these camps open their gates and allow parents to visit.  

And that one weekend is the third weekend in July.  

July 19 and 20, 2024. 

And why is any of this important?  

Well.  

Summer camp in Maine is NOT for working class folk. 

For the most part.  

There are subsidies and scholarships if you are a middle class and poor.  

For most of these kids their parents are wealthy.  

Very.

Wealthy.

And I do mean VERY wealthy.

People, from all over the country, ship their kids to Maine for the summer.  

And on the third week of July, these wealthy parents descend on Maine, to visit their offspring.  

And these wealthy, wealthy, stupidly rich people can be very amazing. 

Very sweet.  Handing out money to anyone they come in contact with.   

But far too many of them come to Maine, and they eat in our restaurants, and they are HORRIBLE.  

But how are they horrible you ask?  

Well.

Let me tell you.

First of all, every restaurant in town is booked months out.  

Completely booked.  

But that doesn’t deter these folks.  

They call repeatedly. 

They threaten.

Do you know who I am?

They have their assistant’s call.  

Do we know who they are? 

And these folks, finally get reservations.  

At their first, second, third, fourth choices.  

Yes, they make lots and lots of reservations.  

Leaving it up to fate, luck, and what others are doing as to what reservation they will keep.  

If they keep them.  

Today we had 23 cancellations.  

Most of which were in the last 24 hours.  

About ten of them were after service started tonight.  

We were significantly less busy, even though on paper we should have been crazy.  

But that’s the good part. 

The bad part is how a lot of these folks act when they walk through the doors.  

On Friday night, not one table sat where I had them scheduled to sit.  They walked in.  Looked around and then told me where they were sitting.  

I’m not sitting at a high top.

I’m not sitting at the counter.  

I’d like that corner table in the window that seats six, even though we are just four.  

I’m not sitting on the patio.  

I know I booked a regular table, but there is a lovely table on the patio and we’ll sit there.  

None of these things could happen.  

 A party of four would show up with six, and say, we’ll squeeze, until they realized that wasn’t an option.  

A party of 10 took 75 minutes to be complete last night.   The first guests sat at 5:15,  the last guests arrive at 6:40.  

They let their children run wild.  And I do mean wild.  I watched an 8-year-old, it was his birthday, run into different servers for 90 minutes. 

They are also all gluten free, organic, vegan, dairy-free, probiotic, paleo, pescatarians, who are allergic to black pepper, allium, mollusks.  However, they are gluten free, not celiac, so if you use the fryer that’s okay.  

And ALL, and I mean ALL of their phone numbers originate in New York City and its suburbs.  

Something an employee pointed out last night, is that for the most part, they don’t really enjoy food.  They are quick to order a burger, a pizza, or salad.  Most are not venturing in to seafood, especially raw seafood.  Steaks are preferred medium well.  

And more than anything, they don’t like to be told no.  In fact, they don’t take no for an answer.  

Like never.  

It goes back to do you know who I am?  Do you know who I work for?  Do you know how much I am worth? 

I can buy and sell you!!! 

Friday night, was the worst shift I have had at my new restaurants.  

The host working next to me, kept saying, you’ve got to be kidding me?

Do you have a kids menu? 

No.  

Do you have child friendly food?  

I don’t know what that means.  

Do you have chicken fingers?

No.  

Pasta?

No.

Spaghetti?

No (Spaghetti is pasta). 

How about grilled chicken? 

No.  

How about pizza?

Yes, we have pizza.

Is it gluten free?

Yes.  

That might work.  

This is a conversation I had at the host stand.  Long before they were seated or spoke to their server.  

If you live in Maine, you know it’s coming.  You can’t take the weekend off like we used to do in NYC for Fleet Week.  Or Easter Weekend or any of the other horrible days.  

We all suck it up, take a deep breath and take it like a man.  

I do have to say, that this weekend, this year, was every weekend last year, and the two summers prior. 

So, I really shouldn’t be complaining.  

But I think it’s important to share the fun.  

And, every restaurant in town does well this weekend.  

And by this time tomorrow, every family will be headed back to NYC and we won’t see them again till the third week of July, 2025.  

And I will be sitting in my underwear, drinking Buffalo Trace, which Adam found in the grocery store today, grateful the weekend is over, but also grateful, that it was another banner Camper’s Weekend.  

When I think of home, I think of a place where there’s love overflowing

/ fightmasterwrites / Leave a comment

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

May 27th is an important day in the life of Jeff and Adam.

12 years ago today, with our truck packed, we drove north to Maine.

On the 26th, several of our friends from Maine came down to help us finish packing and oversee the movers loading our truck.

Around 10:00, on May 27th, we left NYC.

Adam was mad at me because I wouldn’t let him drive the truck. He hadn’t driven much in the previous 15 years and I was worried he’d wreck it.

It took about 6 hours to get to Maine.

When we got here, we parked our truck at our new apartment, and went to our friend’s home where we were served up steak and lobster. It was an awesome welcome to Portland. (We had steak because at the time, I didn’t eat lobster).

That night, was the last night we slept at our friend’s Michelle and Lisa’s home. We’d spent countless nights there prior to moving. We’d show up every 3 months or so, and would spend a long weekend. We’d hang out with their friends, who are now our dearest and closest friends.

The next day, the movers came and unloaded the truck. Everything survived the move in one piece.

We were exhausted at the end of the first day, and went out for dinner. I know this because somewhere I have a photo of that dinner.

The following days were spent unpacking and arranging our new life.

I have so many photos I want to include with this post, but alas, the files are not labeled, and they no longer have their original date as I just downloaded them from a computer from 2008.

A couple of days ago, I saw a meme about moving without a plan.

That is exactly what Adam and I did. We’d planned to move in September, after banking money for the summer. But we found a place, the moons aligned, and we moved at the end of May.

It was a tough first year.

I was hired for a lighting gig, that fell through. Adam was working a job, that proved to be lucrative, but took a while to get there.

I was unemployed for 6 months.

Then, we turned a corner.

I got a job.

Adam got promoted.

We bought a house.

We got cats.

We planted roots.

And 12 years later here we are.

I can’t imagine moving again at this point. We love our home. We love our jobs. We love each other.

So, take my advice, if you long to see the world, put your shit in a truck and go.