But ah! Paree!

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

In 2000, I was working a corporate job in NYC.  I was an office manager for an internet start-up company, way back when everyone was working for an internet start-up company. 

It was my attempt at getting out of food and beverage.  I was not waiting tables, I worked a 9 to 5.  I wore my NYC white starched cotton shirt, with a tasteful tie.  And I’d sit in the office answering the phones, helping out wherever needed.  

For the life of me I don’t remember the exact date, but I do know it was summer, and the phone rang and it was my good friend Michelle.  She’d just landed at JFK airport, on her way to Paris. 

She’d fucked up and thought she had a three-hour layover, but it was 9:15 and her flight didn’t leave until 9:00 that night.  

We talked for a few minutes and she asked if she could come in and hang out with me, and perhaps at least grab lunch.  I said okay, but I had an appointment with my boss and we were supposed to have a lunch meeting.  

I asked him if he’d mind rescheduling and instead, he said, just invite her along.  I did.  

At 12:00 that afternoon the three of us were seated on the patio of an Italian Restaurant at the Seaport.  We each had a glass of wine, and my boss spent the whole meal telling Michelle where to eat and what to see in Paris. 

Writing this jogged a memory that let me look up the date.  It was July 24, 2000.  I’ll explain in a bit.  

We finished up lunch and were paying, and Michelle let out a sigh and said, I wish you could go with me.  I laughed and said, well that can’t happen.  

And without missing a beat, my boss said why not?  You have vacation time you haven’t used.  I have a connection at Air France and probably can get you a deal on the ticket.  And I’m sure that we can cover for you while you are gone. 

It was 1:30.  

Operation send Jeff to Paris was in full swing.  

Michelle made sure her hotel accommodations would work for both of us.  My boss arranged for a plane ticket.  

At 5:00 I was at home packing, never having been so grateful that I’d just done laundry.  

I packed a suitcase and an hour later we were in a town car on the way to the airport.  

Not only were we on the same flight, we had seats next to each other.  

The flight was uneventful, I didn’t sleep a wink.  

I was so excited.  

The reason I now remember the date is that the Concorde crashed the afternoon after we landed.  In fact, as soon as we heard we both called home to let everyone know we were safe.  

We got there and made our way to the hotel to drop off our bags.  

First stop, meet Michelle’s friends from college.  It was a reunion of sorts and they did not know I was coming.  We found them, had lunch and then were off to the Musee d’Orsay.  All I remember of the museum was that there was a theatrical exhibit, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. 

We wandered around, and then had dinner, and then were off to hear Vivaldi’s Four Seasons at an old church lit by candlelight.  It was beautiful, but by then I’d had no sleep in over 24 hours.  I was tired.  I napped through the end of it.  

We did all of the touristy things in Paris.  The Eiffle Tower.  The Louvre.  Shopping on the Champs-Elysees.   I remember purchasing a beautiful watch that day, that I wore until about three years ago, when I broke it and it was unfixable.  

The friends we’d met had already been there for a few days, and after a couple of days we said our good-byes and Michelle and I were on our own.  

Our first night was an adventure and we set out to explore gay Paree.  First stop was a lesbian bar around the corner from out hotel.  

There was a girl at the bar who would say au revoir to everyone leaving.  Very solemnly.  To this day we can look at across the room at each other and say, “au revoir.”  And immediately start giggling.  

Eventually, we split up.  I was off to find boys.  She was off to find girls.

Fast forward a few too many hours.  

It’s late.  I’m drunk.  I find my way back to the hotel.  And I realize that I don’t have a key, because we had to turn it in to the hotel when we left.  I knocked and knocked and finally they answered.  And we get upstairs and we knock and knock but no one is answering.  Turns out Michelle has gone to sleep and is not responding.  The hotel guy gets the spare key and lets me in.  

He is pissed.  

The next morning, we are up early.  We have tickets to Versailles and have to be on a bus by 9:30.  

As we are leaving, the hotel manager pulls us aside and tells us we have to go.  No more American noise.  We have to go.  

We explain very American like that we’ll go, just not today as we have to go to Versailles.   

We leave him very exasperated with us and off we go on the bus, very hung over.  

Versailles in beautiful.  And we’d have enjoyed it more had it not been so hot and us so hungover.  

That night we are in bed early.   Long before curfew.  

And when we get up the next morning the manager reminds us to take our things with us.  

We’d hoped he would forget. 

We go back upstairs pack. 

And then go in search of another hotel, which we find, and this one had air conditioning.  

I was in Paris for 10 days.  The day we flew home, you could see the crash site where the Concorde had crashed.  It was very scary.  

The whole trip was a whirlwind.  And fun.   And it’s a great story of how I went to Paris on about 5 minutes notice, got kicked out of a hotel, and learned to say au revoir, very solemnly.  

Color and light. There’s only color and light

I’d like to speak to the manager!!!

I woke up today to lots of fun on the internets.

Seems that the Olympics started yesterday.

And there was an opening ceremony. That did not resemble the pomp and circumstance of previous Olympics.

People are outraged.

Outraged I tell you.

My opinion.

Which no one asked for.

This might be the most successful opening ceremony in the history of opening ceremonies.

Why you ask?

Because more than 24 hours later its still in the news. It’s still being talked about. People are aguing about it. There are hate posts. There are love posts. People are going to boycott. People are going to never watch sports again.

And I think it’s wonderful.

It’s ART.

And it did what it’s supposed to do.

It made you feel.

I’ve never taken an art class.

But I’ve taken a million theater classes. And we spend hours asking: what is theater. What is its purpose? Why do we do it? Should it be pretty and fun? Should it make you question your beliefs? Should you leave the theater singing it’s showtunes? Should you be mad? Will it make you call your therapist on Monday morning to schedule a session.

And the answer is yes.

Absolutely yes.

Theater aka ART, should make you think.

And this opening ceremony is doing just that.

Is it devil worshiping?

Is it celebrating the origins of the Olympics?

Is it pagan?

Is it celebrating art and diversity in the world in which we live?

Is it kid friendly?

Does it support the athletes?

I could go on and on. The answers are yes. And no. And maybe. And of course not. And absolutely.

And only you get to decide what answer applies to what question.

You.

You who brings your lifetime of baggage to the question.

And the fun part is, YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME WHAT THE ANSWERS ARE TO MY QUESTIONS.

The outrage today has been wonderful.

How dare they make fun of Da Vinci’s Last Supper.

We aren’t sure that DaVinci was a Christian. We know factually he was gay. He was commissioned for the painting, so it’s not like he painted it for the fun of it. And it has been parodied over and over and over again in modern culture including The Simpon’s. My 1987 production of Godspell parodied the image of The Last Supper.

How dare they show Marie Antoinette?

How dare they have drag queens?

How dare they do this and how dare they do that.

Fun fact. Most of the outrage is American.

And it’s funny to think a country that has been around for centuries longer than America somehow has to abide by our supposed morals and values.

Meanwhile, we are still talking about it.

People are still clutching their pearls.

And I think it’s wonderful.

Make us think. Make us face our fears. Make us talk about art in the world. It’s good for you.

I challenge some of you to do a YouTube search for French Theater. Their aesthetic is very different than ours. Always has been.

I can’t wait to see what we do in Salt Lake City in a few years. I’m guessing 500 people sitting in pews singing hymns, with a backdrop of the Mormon Tabernacle. The athletes will be issued fancy underwear and won’t be allowed to drink coffee, tea or booze.

PS. I’ll also say, that several people have posted that the whole argument could have been avoided if they’d explained the art before it aired. And I say, fuck that. Did you really need Oklahoma to explain that the songs would propel the plot? Did you really need Hair to tell you about it’s anti-war sentiment before hand? Did you need Tony Kushner to explain Angels in America prior to you seeing it.

No. The explanation comes from within.

You knew the answer the whole time.