Adam and I had a great day. In the past two days we’ve walked about 500 miles. My shoes are great, but my NYC feet retired 10 years ago.

We spent the day pivoting. Our matinee was canceled while we ate lunch. We walked to a theatre to see if we could move Wednesday tickets to today. We bought Music Man tickets with the plan to cancel the tickets to a show we only sorta wanted tickets for. Before we could get to the theater the first show cancelled.

We did see two lovely shows today. One of the leads in both shoes was an understudy. Both of them were great.

When we finally knew what we were doing we made dinner reservations at Joe Allen’s. It’s a staple in Times Square. Decent menu, not too expensive, and it’s close to the theaters.

When we got out of our first show we realized we had about 45 minutes to be at dinner which was a 4 minute walk. We noticed on our way to the theater that a Times Square staple had moved to a new location. We thought we would pop in for a quick drink and snack before dinner.

I’d like to take this time to point out that with out exception EVERYONE has been super nice. Like someone spiked the tea nice. Definitely not typical NYC restaurant behavior. We are known for being surly.

We entered the restaurant. We were greeted by a gentleman in a suit. (Remind me to talk about that later). He checked our ID and vaccination status. Then seated us at the bar.

The bartender was friendly. Got our drink orders. Then turned around to make them. 4 or 5 minutes later he turned back around and gave them to us. Adam asked if he would put in an appetizer for us. He went to the POS rang it in. And went back to work.

I’m going to digress.

Bartending is an art form. And there are multiple types of bartenders.

You’ve got the ones I always call beer tenders who can put out 30 drafts in 15 seconds. You’ve got mixologists who measure and pour and garnishes your drink with tweezers. You’ve got a sports bar bartender who is slinging gin and tonics and popcorn all night. You’ve got the Hard Rock bartender who’s got to be fast, friendly, and have the ability to do it for 10 hours. You’ve got a night club bartender who opens cans and bottles all night and looks good without a shirt. You’ve got a wine bar bartender who knows all the ins and outs of wine and can talk about it for 90 minutes without boring you. You’ve got a bartender on the pier in Old orchard Beach who serves everything in plastic, serves 500 people themselves and can tell people to fuck off when they’ve had to much to drink. You’ve also got bartenders that provide 5 star dinner service at upscale restaurants, while keeping their guests coursed, entertained, and happy.

I could go on.

The thing is, when you’re interviewing for a bartender, you have to read between the lines and figure out what kind of bartender you are talking to. They are NOT interchangeable. Not at all. It’s also easy to be fooled. You learn to ask the right questions. Like do you know what’s in a Manhattan. You think I joke. Interviewed lots of experienced bartenders who didn’t know it had whiskey in it.

On top of this.

You have service bar.

Service bar is its own beast. You are a machine. Churning out drink after drink after drink after drink. It starts at 5:00 and doesn’t end till close. I’ve had the pleasure of working with lots and lots of bartenders. Some of them tremendous.

But to this day I’ve only worked with a handful who understood the art of it. Who didn’t panic when the tickets hit the floor. Who didn’t get lost as the tickets piled up while a server is shouting at you that they forgot to ask for the martini dry. They keep their bars clean. They usually do this while still helping out with guests. And it’s all done with a smile.

My favorite who I had the pleasure of working as a peer was a guy named Eric. He’d do tricks and show off while making 15/20 tickets at a time. I probably tipped him thousands of dollars in the five years we worked together.

I’ve also had three bartenders I’ve hired who killed. Tara, Lexi, and Steph. All three in Kennebunkport. All three special in their own way. All three beyond excellent.

Back to our story.

Our bartender today was not one of the good ones.

He was sloppy. His tickets were wet, torn and unreadable.

He had no process to what he was making. The order. The ticket. Etc.

Believe it or not to be fast you have to learn to combine steps, look at all your tickets, know whether to make the hard drinks first, or pour the beer first.

This guy didn’t understand that. He was all over the place. Messy bar. Supplies all over the place.

I was nervous for him and the servers.

Adam texted with his friends while I watched.

It never got better.

I also waited.

The clock was ticking closer and closer to our reservation time.

We still had not gotten our appetizer.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Adam finally realized it’s getting to the point of not having time to eat it should it appear.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

At 4:50 we asked for the check.

Adam had his credit card out.

But we wanted to see the check before we paid.

He finally presented it to us.

There was no app on the check. He never rang it in. Which before you get upset. There is not a single server in the whole wide world whose has not forgotten to ring in an item. We’ve all done it.

But.

I really think it was because he was in the weeds with service drinks.

But.

It wasn’t even 4:30 when we ordered. They weren’t busy. There were a handful of tables in the restaurant and six guests at the bar. Two of which were finished and paid.

If he had been more organized, better put together, it wouldn’t have happened.

But it doesn’t end there. He gives us the check. We drop the credit card on top of it.

We wait. And wait. And wait.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

It’s now 5:00 and he hasn’t picked it up.

He finally grabs it.

Swipes it.

Checks his phone.

Then goes back to making service drinks.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

It was 5:10 when he finally gave us the slip to sign.

We signed. We tipped.

And we ran to our 5:00 dinner reservation.

PS. It was also shift change. So there was a lot of banter.

And.

His replacement had a hickey the size of Nebraska on his neck. (This is an upscale restaurant, not fancy like Applebees).

PSS. Nice restaurants, especially nice restaurants, with fancy buildouts. Don’t skimp on the lighting. It look like the jewelry counter at Macy’s with the lights over the tables.