Last week I got a response to an indeed post looking for a server job.

The experience was okay. Not great. But good enough to call the kid in.

His interview was today.

He arrived on time.

He looked familiar when I saw him but he spoke first.

You look familiar.

As do you.

Did you used to work at __?

Why yes. Yes I did.

He explains how I know him.

Ahhhh.

Why yes. Yes I know you.

First. For the life of me I’ve never figured out how to say I’m not hiring you, but I don’t want to waste your time in the first 30 seconds.

I’ve pulled questions out of my ass so many times just to go through the motions.

Today was that day.

Back story.

In a century long long ago I worked at a pub.

And we were coming back from a national emergency and I hired a guy to food run. But. I needed a doorman so I asked him to do that instead. And he had a friend so within 24 hours I had two guys as doormen.

Then.

About 48 hours later, I’m at home when I get call. Seems one of the doormen has passed out in the office.
Aka overdosed.

The paramedics are called. Narcan is administered.

The kid lives.

The OD kid comes in the next day to tell me he’s good to go. I tell both of the new doormen to figure their lives out then reach out to me.

My applicant today was one of the two guys.

I knew immediately I wasn’t hiring him.

The interview took 30 minutes. He just kept asking questions.

I feel bad.

But also.

I know you.

I’m not hiring you.